Badmovies.org Forum

Eyaaaaagh.

Okay, okay, now I know why, after all that money, a big fancy interactive website and an "upgrade" version, Yonggary tanked twice in Korea. The, uh, "script" shows the sort of logic--and an understanding of military affairs--one might expect from a twelve-year-old. One that "huffs."

The plot in a nut's-hell: We dig up a fossilized Yonggary. Aliens straight out of a Battlestar Galactica rip-off show up and fire assorted beams at Earth that (1) resurrect the fossil to do their evil--and largely pointless--bidding, and (2) cause it to turn invisible whenever the director wants to pretend this thing has a plot. We free Yonggary from alien control, at which point Yonggary becomes a human-friendly complete puss-o. The aliens "activate" Cyker, who strangely seems to be a lot less trouble to create and a lot more effective than Yonggary ever was, to fight him--which is again largely pointless.

I'm sorry--this all makes considerably less sense than the worst Japanese rubbersuit adventure. Repeat: the worst.

All this alien beam-weapon technology, and they can't simply blast us at will? They take out about fifty satellites without retaliation, but they need a mutant dinosaur with a brain-chip and a cloaking device to knock over one nuke plant? Please.

The aliens make Yonggary invisible at will, but apparently not intangible. Um...why? He doesn't cause any destruction at all while invisible, and doesn't seem to even leave footprints, yet he can't go from point A to point B any quicker than by walking--which presents all the obvious questions. Number one: wouldn't an invisible giant fire-breathing monster be more effective than a visible one? Number two: if the aliens are divering all military firepower away from Yonggary--they aren't, really, but that's the dialogue--why bother making it invisible? Number three: why does Yonggary materialize in front of a jeep and then stand around for three minutes, only to disappear again after helicopters catch up to it and get wiped out? What part of "The Plan" was that?!?

Occasionally spiffy CGI effects lurk among the awful ones. Oddly, even though the monsters and most of the destruction they cause are computer-generated, Yonggary and Cyker look like men in rubber suits--in fact, Cyker looks like two guys in an old Jaiger (Gamera vs Monster X) suit, the guy in the back holding the guy up front by the waist and lifting him up. Don't you ever again complain about Destroyah or Space Godzilla to me. Not ever again.

The acting is...indescribable. Manos or an Ed Wood masterpiece is Oscar material compared to this. All the "bad" guys come from the Snidely Whiplash school of sneering, twitching villainy, and when the greasy "photojournalist" disappears without a trace when the movie finally starts moving--he looks like he's meant to be the "hero" but apparently became a victim of the "upgrade" re-editing--you will be more relieved than confused. The rest of the cast will make you weep, they are so terrible. Even bit roles will provoke tears, vomiting, violent cursing and bloody diarrhea. Trust me. I'm still cleaning the easy chair.

The score during the opening credits is such a rip-off of Jerry Goldsmith's Alien material that I though James Horner was slumming. (The opening credits, by the way, are actually pretty slick. Don't be fooled.) The rest of the score is pretty much NOT THERE, which is especially noticable during the climax.

God, I wish I could take that ninety-minutes of my life back. Abandon all hope, all ye who rent this. Be ye fairly warned, says I.

 As a fellow giant monster fan who also suffered severely as a direct result of watching "Yon Gary", might I suggest - to relieve your more severe symptoms, a healthy dose of GODZILLA 2000, or any of the modern day Gamera movies.

Here, Here! The sight of the New Gamera going into Saucer node the first time is still way cool! Hey, where can i get the 3rd Gamera movie? I saw it at Marcon last year, and it was a goodin'. I don't want to buy Bootlages, but why won't the studio make its stuff available to us Dai Kaiju Fans?

 I wish I could help you there Flange', but I'd purchased my copies of GAMERA's 2 & 3 at a comic book convention that was in my area this past summer. In hindsight, I kinda wish that my enthusiasm hadn't gotten the better of me because, while my copy of 3 is perfect,  the quality of 2, while still being thoroughly enjoyable, leaves something to be desired....Well, I'd still rather have it the way it is than not have it at all. I think that the decision I'm STILL kicking myself over, though, is the fact that I had BOTH the original, full on Japanese version of the first GODZILLA, as well as the UNaltered version of BATMAN BEYOND: RETURN OF THE JOKER right in my hands...and I ultimately passed on buying either to make sure I'd still have money for dinner.

Your question about why these studios don't just make their movies available to American audiences too is one that I've been asking for a long time myself. I mean, there's obviously a profitable fanbase for Kaiju flicks in the 'States....otherwise, why bother to release "YON GARY" [or GODZILLA 2000 for that matter] here in the first place?

Well, ADV Films, who released the first on video, has got the rights to Gamera 2 and 3, and have been showing G3 at major cities across the country as recently as last week, but still haven't announced a video release date. They're primarily anime distributors. Let's write 'em!

http://www.advfilms.com/acquisitions.html has the latest news I can find.

Actually only Yonggary Upgrade tanked at the box office.  When this was first released it was quite a hit if I understand Godzilla news correctly.

Gamera 1&2 I think are heading to DVD shortly while I think Gamera 3 is supposed to get a limited theaterical release according to Fangoria

Dave

"Actually only Yonggary Upgrade tanked at the box office. When this was first released it was quite a hit if I understand Godzilla news correctly."

Yonggary a hit.  Isn't that against all the known laws of Time and Space?

What I thought was amusing about 'Retilian,' despite its myriad thoughts, was how much better it was as a giant monster movie than the American 'Godzilla' movie was.

Ken Begg wrote:
>
> What I thought was amusing about 'Retilian,' despite
> its myriad thoughts, was how much better it was as a giant
> monster movie than the American 'Godzilla' movie was.

This is probably due to a running time of 95 minutes, compared to 140 minutes (and I started counting them) for the American "Godzilla."  Plus, they just hit a couple of buttons right, like the super-secret rocketpack attack unit.

I still wouldn't say it was that much better, but "Reptilian" would get a three and "Godzilla" (1998) a two off the top of my head.

Andrew

Oh...please. I STILL haven't seen Deanzilla. Just can't bring myself to do it......Hey, i may be crazy, but i'm not insane! i...HAVE STANDARDS!. Weird ones, sure.but.....

I swear this movie has such a Charles Band Production look and feel to it.

It satisfied my Kaiju itch, but....