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I'm in the mood to watch a bad monster movie, but I want to see a monster that looks incredibly fake. I don't care what it's made out of: plastic, fabric, cgi... whatever. So long as the movie isn't TRYING to be bad, and they didn't make the monster look stupid on purpose, then I want to see it. Any suggestions?

Pick a "Sci-Fi Original" movie about a giant animal, and there you go.

Pinata:  Survival Island.  A CGI killer pinata...must be seen to be believed.

The Carnosaur franchise comes to mind as well.  The second movie is probably the best, it's actually a pretty good movie if you can survive the special effects.

Oh yeah, let's not forget Sabretooth.  And Boa vs. Python.

Any monster movie by Larry Buchanan. It's Alive is probably the best. Monster is a guy in a wet suit with ping pong balls for eyes. Very funny movie all around. Absolutely horrible.

Roger Corman's It Conquered the World has a monster that is extremely laughable.

The monster in Octaman, among other flaws, has a visible zipper.

Has anyone seen It Conquered the World? The thing touches you and you die! Nonetheless, I love Roger Corman.

And to answer the original question, watch Centipede! this Saturday night. The creatures look so fake.

so many...so many...my mind has blocked most of them


Carnosaur 1-3...
Creepazoids
Breeders

so many

I love bad monsters!  
Horrors of Spider Island have 2 incredibly bad monsters involved:  One bad spider puppet & one very bad "were-spider" guy.  It looks like someone trimmed a wig and threw the hair on this guy with a bit of glue.  The end .. .
Frank Zappa's description of It Conquered the World in the Cheepniz song is almost as good as the monster itself.
The visible strings on the claws of the crab monsters in Attack of the Crab Monsters just add to the whole ouvre of the film.
Kaiju anyone?
The Giant Claw
Creature From the Haunted Sea -- you can see the eye-grid that the guy in the suit needs to look out of to see where he's going.  Faker than fake!!
Many many sword & sandal Italian "Hercules' Big Arms" movies -- the titles are all so similar -- featured giant spiders, snakes, "dragons" (See "stuff glued to lizard"), that were like atrocious leftover Macy's floats or papier mache puppets.
The wasp woman mask in The Wasp Woman has a nicely lit zipper in the back.
The giant rubber hand of the woman in Attack of the 50-ft. Woman is one of the single worst props ever filmed.  When was the last time you saw that?!?!
My head is spinning . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

Pumaman's flying scenes especially when he flys over a city.

Invasion From Inner Earth - The monster is a red flashlight shined onto a surface from off-camera.  I'm not kidding.  To show the monster creeping across the floor, the director has the camera man aim at the floor, and then shines a red flashlight onto the floor and slowly moves it from one end to the other.  If the red light makes it onto a person, they're toast.  

This is an actual exchange of dialogue (again, I am not kidding):

Guy 1: What's that??
Guy 2: It... it looks like a red light!
Guy 1: (With no particular urgency)  Let's get out of here.

There is an airplane in the movie (one character is an Alaska bush pilot), and I think that's where the whole budget went.

Ah yes, Peter, the 'giant spider' from "Ator" or the puppet-snakes from "Robot Holocaust"



Post Edited (11-06-04 08:31)

Robot Holocaust also had a pretty cheesy giant spider. They didn't have the resources to do a whole one, so they kept it hidden around the corner, and the heroes fought a giant leg.

It also had the monster that was merely implied. A few bubbles on the water, some suggestive dialogue, and everybody beats a hasty retreat without seeing a damn thing.

Never seen Robot Holocaust, but fear I have to now.  Never wanted to watch it, 'cause I generally don't find old robot movies particularly satisfying -- though I did enjoy AI.  
With a title like that, you'd never know it had bad bugs in it!
peter johnson/denny crane

He's only in there for a few seconds, but I'd vote for the guy in the bunny suit in 'Night of the Lepus'.

Would "Konga" count? Mismatched scale and bad matte shots of the giant ape.

DId I miss it or have we failed to mention the menace of the killer carpet monsters from "The Creeping Terror" before now? The dictionary definition of bad monster suit. The people responsible seemed to be too inept to have done that on purpose.

The "Pinata: Survival Island" monster is pretty wretched use of CGI, as was mentioned earlier. I think I yawned when I first saw it. It makes the CGI "Alien Eve" at the end of "Species" almost look good.

The nagging woman's head in a tray full of blood and the un-menace of the monster in the closet (although only seen in full at the end) of "The Brain that Wouldn't Die".

The "moldy mashed potatoes" face of the Frankenstein monster from Al Adamson's "Dracula Vs. Frankenstein" is the "highlight" of that film. But the "fashion victim with an echo chamber voice" Dracula and the scientist's victims/test subjects who are supposed to in suspened animation yet they still shift around and blink also make it worth a look.

Oh, if we're going to do "heads on a plate" bad, then good ol' Adolf from -- tada!! -=- They Saved Hitler's Brain -- never fails to elicit hiccupping laughter from moi --
I mean, here's the poor actor's head stuck through a seat cushion, inside an unconvincing bell-jar, screaming "Schell!!  Mach Schell!!" to noone in particular -- I mean, he's not even interacting at all with the other actors in the scene!! --
there has to be a special category/a special place just for badness like that . . . Oh, wait . . . I forgot!  . . . badmovies.org . . .
And on that topic, if you haven't seen the household appliances & the caulking gun, cleverly disguised as alien weapons from outer space in "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra", then do yo'selves a favour(?).  Now that's a "special" effect by those in-the-know!!
peter johnson/denny crane

Try raptor island, a scifi original

Oh wait! Try the devil bat!

Okay!  Bats!  Bad Bats!!  (This thread is fun!!)
Hammer's Brides of Dracula, at the end, when Andrew Kier summons the legions of bats to destroy David Peel & his vampire "cult":  Multiple rubber bats on multiple strings, sort of like Christmas decorations, come crashing through the windows in a very scary fashion.  Well, not so scary really, as they're more like ristras than actual animals. (For those of you who don't live in the SouthWest, a ristra is a huge clump of chiles strung together.  Now imagine it done with bats.  There!  You've got the idea!)
Chris Lee is seen giving a "oh, come on!" expression towards a very unconvincing rubber bat being bobbled up and down above him -- it's supposed to be an "emissary" or something -- in Taste the Blood of Dracula.
Geez, people!  Come on!  I know there are more people than this on this site!!  Get crackin' here & write in some submissions -- this is the very reason this site exists!
peter johnson/denny crane

as they're more like ristras than actual animals. (For those of you who don't live in the SouthWest, a ristra is a huge clump of chiles strung together. Now imagine it done with bats. There! You've got the idea!)

He he, I live in New Mexico and definitely know what a ristra is but as I was reading that my first thought was 'how many people are going to get *that* reference??'

(http://www.vipgrafx.com/pics/chili-1.jpg)
(http://karsh-i.usefilm.com/2/2/6/2/2262/579275-small.jpg)

Muy Bueno, Senor Freep!!!
BUT -- did you see the film?
A mass o' rubber bats --
Amaseo rubero bats . . .
Nice pictures -- put bats where the chiles are . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

Robot Holocaust has more in common with sword and sorcery than with typical science fiction. It's more of a quest movie, with a chosen one who overcomes various obstacles (amazons, monsters, mutants) on his way to a big confrontation. It's sort of an Ator movie with robots.

An all time favorite among many B movie fans , The Angry Red Planet, features several bad effects.

The Martian sky effect, at night blue comes through the window and suddenly turns scarlet red when the sun comes up. When the crew is outside everything is scarlet red.

The space suits have no glass in the visor.

The bat-rat-spider-crab puppet. The ultimate in cobbled together monster making and notice how his legs don't touch the ground when he storms off after being blinded.

The giant aquatic amoeba with the rotating eyeball. Wouldn't a spinning eye be rather  disorienting?

"And the HORRIBLE EYE
 And the HORRIBLE EYE
 And the HORRIBLE EYE
 Go rollin' around around around!!" -- Cheepniz/Zappa
Never noticed that ratbatspider's feet didn't touch the ground -- In England that would mean he's gay!
What the hell is the name of that Japanese thing where the giant viruses take over the space station?  They whirred and had a single eye in the middle of their mass, but what made them really special were the numerous visble/well-lit strings holding up thier numerous tentacles.  Damn.  They used to run it constantly at 1am in Virginia years ago -- From the '60's.
peter johnson/denny crane

You're talking about :"The Green Slime" that was a pretty bad one allright.

There are so many to choose from! I just got "Yokai Monsters: 100 Monsters," which features a monster made from an umbrella. The effects are pretty cheesy overall, though the scene with the rubber-necked geisha works pretty well (her head extends on an extremely long neck and wraps around a guy. The neck is obviously fake, but they handle the face shots quite well; you hardly ever see the woman's black suit hiding behind the neck). This movie is actually a bit creepy, unlike the other Yokai Monsters movie I got ("along with ghosts"), which was more a murder mystery and less a guy-in-a-rubber-suit movie. Their production company is even called Rubbersuit. How can you go wrong looking for cheesy monsters?

My personal favourtie is Gappa, the Triphibian Monster (1967)
(Tagline, 'even mightier than king kong!')

Gappa, for those not in the know, are a couple of flying dinosaur-like creatures, who are creating havoc around the city of monsters: Tokyo.  It sort of has the theme that monsters can have feelings too, despite us wanting to kill them!

I just love crappy Godzilla remakes: the army consists of toy tanks, planes and boats, a volcano made out of plasticine, with a candle in the middle to make it looks ominous, and various other rather funny parts.

Highly recommended

Okay, on Second City TV they had a glowing cabbage "special effect" in one of their low-budget horror parodies --
The day after that ran on NBC, PBS showed an episode of Dr. Who wherein this "monster" crawling up the side of this remote lighthouse was -- tada! -- an illuminated cabbage-like thing that was IDENTICAL to the make-believe alien cabbage that Eugene Levy was holding on SCTV!  
This synchronicity has haunted me for years . . . made me the man I am today . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

I remember that Doctor Who. My nephew was small when he saw it and thought it was a Brachs lime Sour Ball.

Yes the monsters in that look stupid but that movie has the coolest theme song.
Open the door you'll find a secret,
To find the answer is to keep it.
You'll believe it when you find
Something screaming in your mind
GGGGRRRREEEEEENN SSSSLLLLIIIIIIMMME!
(Fuzztone guitar riff here)
GGGGRRRREEEEEENN SSSSLLLLIIIIIIMMME!
(Fuzztone guitar riff here)

Robot Monster (reviewed on this site and mentioned on many lists as the worst movie ever made) is the grand daddy of bad movie monsters. He does all the classic monster schtick, like carry a leggy woman, look like a cobbled together Halloween costume and lumber along like he has a load in his furry butt. Dare I say it, he's the Elvis of bad movie monsters. Pictures don't do him justice to how stupid the ape suited actor with the cheese space helmet acts. When you hear him talk you'll wish they made a sequel. I also wish someone made a Mc Farland like toy of him. Or a furry 12" action figure, that would be soooo f-ing cool with a sound chip too! Ro-Man kicks ass!!

Ah, so many possabilites!
Where...to...start!?
Oh,...GREEN SLIME! Great cheesy theme song, indeed. Monsters that make fart sounds when shot, come from a planetoid that looks like the resault of a Godzilla scale sneezing fit, and Richard Jeakel....Man, i wish Mike and the bots hade done that one...man!

Oh, and CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA. Corman, you bastarrrrd!

What was the movie where they put fur and moving legs on a volkswagen bug and drove it around?
-Ed

Gad, I wish I knew what movie it was they put legs on a Volkswagen in!  Wanna see it!!  Wanna see it!
Robot Monster -- ah, how do I love thee?  Let me count some ways:
Diving helmet on a Gorilla suit -- $300
Bronson Canyon -- $100
Lawrence Welk bubble machine -- $25
Rabbit-ears TV ariels cobbled to household appliances -- $10
"You're so bossy, you should be milked!" -- priceless . . .
The use of the bubble machine alone to denote "otherworldliness" is, in itself, enough to designate this film as the top of the bottom in "special" effects --
Just brilliant --
peter johnson/denny crane

If you want to see a bad Monster movie that was meant to be taken seriously then check out Larry Buchanan's Eyeball monster. Horrible... just awful...

ED wrote:

> What was the movie where they put fur and moving legs on a
> volkswagen bug and drove it around?
> -Ed

Wasn't that Giant Spider Invasion? A lame movie if there ever was one! Half of it was given to two people talking in a classroom.

The Killer Shrews is another good one, with the titular monsters portrayed by a bunch of friendly-looking dogs with carpet remnants on their backs and phony fangs. Has the added benefit of seeing a young Sheriff Roscoe as heroic leading man.

GIANT SPIDER INVASION!
A classic Mike and the Bots!
"Pork Vaccume, i mean sherrifs office..."
"Gotta go drain the little buddy."
"Could he be even more repulsive?"
Curse you Bill Rabaaaane!

YEah thats the one, I laughed my head off at that monster
-Ed

Killer Shrews!!  Killer Shrews!!
My gawd, they wag!!  Wagging Shrews!!  You can see their happy little faces under the "costumes" -- "This is fun!  Do we get our treats now?"
Just terrific --
peter johnson/denny crane