Badmovies.org Forum

You can't just type in "messed up almost unknown flicks almost no one but I have see" into imdb or google. I'm trying to get a new "must see" list going.

So, are there movies that even in bad movie circles, it seems only you have seen that exist on crusty old out-of-print vhs? Please give a little description. Thanks.

The Mutilator.  I'm sure I've mentioned this one hundreds of times on this board, but I can't help but mention it again.

Gory low budget slasher fun.  I've had a crusty VHS for a few years but bought a bootleg DVD from Ebay last Halloween which is just a DVD copy of a crusty VHS.

I absolutely love the movie.

Starts off with a kid cleaning his father's guns for father's day.  He accidentally shoots his own mother in the process.  Father comes home, goes bat-s**t and waits until his son is in college to kill him and his friends at a beach house.

Atrocious acting, decent effects and a nasty streak a mile wide.  It also helps that it was filmed just a few miles from me.  

I have a review that I wrote about my VHS copy:

http://www.keeptheticket.com/reviews.php?searchrid=17

Bloodmoon - Really bad Australian horror movie that takes place at a co-ed school prom out in the bush somewhere.  A mad killer (yep, one of those movies) is taking out the students one by one, usually with a loop of razor wire around the neck.  Some nice nudity, lots of bad acting, and bad 80's Australian hair.

There is another really bad Australian horror movie but I can't remember the name!  It revolves around a group of teenagers who find/steal an Aboriginal sacred artifact, and they are pursued from their camping trip back to the suburbs by these weird happenings.  I seem to recall ... wait!  The magic of Google has given me the answer!

The movie is called 'Kadaicha' (1987) aka 'Kadaicha the Death Stone' or 'Stones of Death'.  Scroll down on this page for a summary, and see the next link for a slew of Australian horror movies, guaranteed to be bad, every single one of them.

http://www.tabula-rasa.info/AusHorror/OzHorrorFilms2.html

http://www.eofftv.com/features/australian_horror.htm

The thing is, I don't even LIKE Australian movies in general, but if you compare American B-movie horror with Australian, it's almost a genre in itself.

And speaking of bad, but this time more fun, Australian movies, see if you can see (do not BUY) a copy of 'BMX Bandits', an early 80's kids movie about three kids on their BMX bikes who foil a crime gang.  Lots of BMX stunts, which were all the rage, and a good showing by a very young Nicole Kidman.

~Archivist~

Also on the subject of B-movies from Australia, the all time classic for me is the movie 'Ned' which is a spoof of 'Ned Kelly' based on the [in]famous Ned Kelly legend in Australian history.

'Ned' has bad gay jokes, a handjob, lots of toilet humour, and just good times in general.  Plus a leprechaun.  How could you say no to that? :-P  I highly reccommend it for anyone, even if they don't know the legend of Ned Kelly [this is pretty innaccurate anyway]

>>>>The thing is, I don't even LIKE Australian movies in general, but if you compare American B-movie horror with Australian, it's almost a genre in itself.

This is probably because what you think are Australian B-movies are actually the Australian movie industry...  ooh that's harsh.

But ultimately very fair.

Three words, Dean:

"Death In Brunswick"

:-)

~A~

Yahoo Serious!

"Bad Boy Bubby"!

Actually, I was going to mention a great little pic I caught the other night called "The Sender", before we got off on an Aussie-tangent...

Moon of the werewolf.

I won't say it's good but beware the loup Garou!

"the ugly" - it's a low budget, psychological revenge film shot in new zealand.

Gore-Met Zombie Chef From Hell (1986) - It doesn't get any more unknown than this. The movie was actually released several times, but trust me it doesn't get any better with the new packaging. The first box was one of the oversized VHS boxes you can find original copies of first VHS releases like Blood Feast and Tarantulas in, but it was later downsized and sold in regular VHS packages like the one I have. Surprisingly there are 12 comments in the IMDb about this one. Still worth knowing you have seen... something that can be used to your advantage in discussion. (eg. your friend: "Dude, I just saw the worst movie the other day." You mentally: "No he hasn't." works better than ass pennies)

Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu  (1982) - I'm still the only one on the IMDb who has seen this. Topping off at 5 votes and directed by Godfrey Ho, this movie is awful and is little known for that reason. In fact, check out any movie by Godfrey Ho if you're looking for obscure and horrifyingly bad. This man made a career out of taking movies that did poorly in the box office of their country of origin, adding footage of an american ninja (usually Richard Harrison), and pasting them together while acting as if no one would be the wiser. People in the movie who are supposedly talking to each other are in fact not even in the same room. It's a lesson in exploitation. He made movies with titles like Bionic Ninja, Zombie Vs. Ninja, Ninja Demon's Massacre, etc etc... Here's his IMDb listing.
http://imdb.com/name/nm0387301/

Robo C.H.I.C. (1989) - Hey, Peter can help us out on this movie as could Andrew! They both have seen it, and Peter actually acted in it. Think Police Academy 47 crossed with talk of a nuclear bomb in America. Tv's Burt Ward also has a part in this movie as a wormy villain. This is one of those movies that drills a hole in your brain with terrible jokes and two actresses starring as one. Watch and you'll understand.

-Scottie H.-

I already mentioned elsewhere, but it is worth mentioning again: Corn Man, the superhero who talks to corn

LOL!  That has gotta be the feeblest super-power, EVER.

Neon Maniacs (1986) is, surprisingly, available on DVD, but not reviewed very much. And a personal favorite, Arena (1991), which Andrew reviewed at this site. Not the Pam Grier one, but the intergalactic boxing one. I saw it in high school when I worked at a little mom and pop video store and loved it, so I plan on locating a copy and reviewing it as well.

Rob
 The KO Picture Show (http://www.geocities.com/rtillisch/KOPictureShow.html)

I'm able to check out a few of these: Gore-met Zombie Chef from Hell, Mutilator and Neon Maniacs.

I've seen Arena and enjoyed it. To add to the aussie thing, Body Melt is good (reviewed here) and Dead-end Drive-In is not. Body Melt is pretty well known though.

Ugh! Cornman is AWFUL! I've never seen a flick try so hard to get Troma's attention (and, from what I can gather, it's too bad for even Troma to touch). But speaking of Troma, they released a dvd version of Vegas In Space, a movie that would fit very well under this topic. It's all about a group of men who have to infiltrate a society of women, so they disguise themselves as women. There are only one or two actual women in the movie--all the rest are transvestites. The men the "story" centers around actually make more convincing women than men. The entire movie is made up of bad gay and transvestite humor and cheesy sets. The camp value is high, but the writing and acting are so atrocious that I could only sit through it because I'd never seen anything like it. It's like driving past a car wreck: You can't look away even though you don't want to see what you know you probably will see. I saw it available at Best Buy a few years ago; I don't know if it's still available anywhere (I kind of hope not).

LADY IN A CAGE - I was sure my friends and I were the only ones who had seen this until it came out on DVD a couple weeks ago. Olivia DeHavilland plays a crippled old woman who has an elevator installed in her home to get her to the top floor. When her suicidal, closeted-gay son leaves town, the elevator gets stuck between floors, and somehow her home gets invaded by a prostitute, a wino, and a trio of teenage proto-Droogs, including a very young James Caan, who proceed to torment each mother and DeHavilland. Totally bizarre, sadistic little movie, and Caan eventually dies the most incredible death of any movie villain I've ever seen. To quote my dad, who independently stumbled upon the movie a few months after my friends and I did: "Did you see what happened to his head?!"

COMPLEX WORLD - Neat little independent black comedy about a plot (several, actually) to blow up Providence rock club Lupo's. Features the greatest militia in movie history, Captain Lou Albano as a Civil War enthuiast Hell's Angel, and some great performances by Lupo's criminally obscure house band The Young Adults. Sadly, legal issues caused the movie to only play in Providence and Boston, and cut the video release off after just one printing. If you find it, definitely give it a spin.

MR. MIKE'S MONDO VIDEO - Rejected made-for-TV parody of Mondo Cane by Michael O'Donoghue, who was the head writer for National Lampoon and SNL back when both were funny. Odd mix of comedy sketches (think early SNL's darker bits-- most of which were O'Donoghue's work), bizarre experimental short films, monologues by O'Donoghue (usually holding a gun and surrounded by rabbits), and performances by cult legends like Klaus Nomi, Rootboy Slim, and Sid Vicious (whose rendition of "My Way" was cut from the video release when Paul Anka refused to grant the rights). Legend has it that, a few minutes into the slow-motion "Cat swimming lessons" montage, the president of NBC told his assistant, "This will air over my dead body."

Also, I've seen Neon Maniacs. Don't remember much of it, except that the monsters are ultimately killed by water (despite the fact that they live under the Golden Gate Bridge), and that it includes the most excruciating battle of the bands ever filmed.

HARD ROCK ZOMBIES (USA 1984)

Directed by Krishna Shah (a Hare-Krishna-Monk!)

one of my all-time favourites. Sooo, sooo crappy and painfully bad...

The plot: Adolf Hitler and Eva Brown live on the countryside in the US. They´re cursed ghouls and live together with Nazi-Zombies and Nazi-Mummies!!! And they have grandchilds - two evil midgets.
A Rock Band comes to the village were Adolf and his bunch of freaks is hiding.
Some crap happens so that even more Zombies awake. At the end there is a great confrontation between:
villagers, hard rockers and some undead hard rockers on the one side and
Nazi-Zombies, undead villagers, midgets etc. on the other side

Oh, and i forgot: Zombies just want to f**k girls. An old villager says to one of the Hard Rockers that lost his girl: "The Zombies have kidnapped her! And now they gonna f**k her!"

- pure neckbracking nonsense! Very recommendable.

More terrifyingly bad Aussie crap.....  "Houseboat Horror".

No Blade of Grass (1970)
A sci-fi flick. A strange virus attacks wheat and rice and everything goes downhill from there. A family travels to a relatives country home and along the way they encounter hostiles. I remember my folks took me to see this and it was truly graphic..rape..violence etc. I really wish they had left me at the babysitters I was 9..not something for the kiddies.

Ellie wrote:

> No Blade of Grass (1970)
> A sci-fi flick. A strange virus ...

That reminded me of a movie I've never heard mentioned much called Deadly Harvest (1977). It's about a food shortage and people on farms have to protect themselves. I like these types of movies, whether it's Night of the Living Dead or the Posiedon Adventure. Deadly Harvest is not sci-fi but a realistic portrayal of famine. I think it was due to climate change.

Deadly Harvest: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074380/

I must own "Hard Rock Zombies" and "Mr. Mike's Mondo Video" now after those descriptions.  They WILL be mine...

I like the sounds of those 70's 'nasty future' movies like No Blade of Grass and Deadly Harvest.  I've heard of NBoG before in a book about scifi movies.  Anyone know if they are available somewhere?

~Archivist~

Just a couple I found in the closeout bins a few years ago.

Paragraph 218 - Wir haben abgetrieben, Herr Staatsanwalt (1971) (aka In Trouble)
The box cover boasted a young Sybil Danning as the star, though she actually just has a couple of cameos at the beginning and the end of the movie. Still, it's interesting to see how young she looks in this movie. In Trouble is a downright weird little West German docudrama that uses Pro-Choice propaganda as an excuse to show softcore porn. It tells the stories several desperate women seeking illegal abortions, and then through flashbacks, shows a series of short erotic dramas to tell the story of how each of these women wound up getting pregnant.

The Return of Captain Invincible (1983)
A rather unenthusiastic looking musical/comedy from Down Under, full of lousy jokes built around four letter words and poorly timed, uninspired musical numbers. Alan Arkin stars in the title role as a washed-up former superhero turned homeless alchoholic who's forced to come out of retirement when the president asks him to make good on a promise he made thirty years earlier. Christopher Lee, as always, really shines out as the evil Mr. Midnight, but ultimately, both his and Arkin's talents seem wasted on this movie. Towards the end, however, you get to hear Christopher Lee sing, and he's actually pretty good. Though the song he's singing is pretty silly, Lee makes it sound good, hitting at least one very impressive low note during the number.

For $2.00 each, plus one free, these two Made for a pair interesting curiosities, but I otherwise wouldn't recomend them.

What a wonderful post!
Re.  ROBOMESS:  A friend found for me on E-Bay the other day a copy of ROBO-C.H.I.C. on Hemdale, after they'd bought out the picture and retitled it CYBER-C.H.I.C. to avoid the whole Orion/copyright infringement thing.
There on the back of the box was/is a publicity still of myself that I'd never seen before, and completely different from the Robo-packaging.
Completeists take note!
I work in a bank.  The other day in drive-through, we played the Cyberchic tape on a security monitor behind us, while people drove through the window lane.  You just had to hope that the gratuitous nudity wasn't happening when certain people drove up!  Some people saw it and really dug it & other people stared right through it -- it was amazing to watch people either pretending this thing wasn't playing in a bank or really laughing hard.  No middle ground at all!
The bank I work at is in Boulder, Colorado.  This is all the explanation some of you will need.  Boulder is sort of a little Amsterdam/Berkeley/Katmandu in the Rockies.  
peter johnson/denny crane

Archivist: I've been looking through the VideoScreams catalog over the last coupla days, trying to decide on what to get for a big order, and I'm pretty sure they had "No Blade of Grass" listed.

Also, if you dig the post-apocalyptic fare, VideoScreams has it in spades.  Further, the cult movie zine, CINEMA SEWER has a terrific issue out with a long article on such movies.

I hope this post doesn't qualify as spam or anything.  I'm in no way connected with either of the above referenced outlets except as a consumer.---Kobb

Say, while I'm thinking about it:
Dunno if this is the proper thread for it, but if anybody can help me track down a print of Browning's original "West of Zanzibar", I'd sure appreciate it!

Also after the Phillipino flick, "Moro Witch Doctor".

Aljandro Jodrowsky movies:

Santa Sangre http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098253/
Holy Mountain http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071615/
El Topo http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067866/
Fando Y Lis http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061643/

Cult favorites. You'll never see anything weirder than these movies.
They're hard to find, since the only versions available are bootlegs, with perhaps the exception of Santa Sangre, which is out of print. Jodrowsky couldn't get the rights to release the latter 3 movies. Of these 4, my favorite is probably Holy Mountain. But the others are great too. David Lynch is tame compared to Jodrowsky. Interestingly, Jodrowsky was originally suppose to make Dune back in the 70's, with H.R. Giger designing the stuff.

Scalps  - Almost no budget slasher about an undead indian (well annoying teenager posessed by an undead indian anyway) vs. a bunch of annoying early 80's archeology students who dont do much besides drink beer and make out. The acting, editing, dialog, camerawork, etc is all really bad but you can tell love went into the prostetics and gore fx. I also thought the electronic soundtrack was excellent however I suspect it was tacked on much later for the DVD release. I thought it was a fun way to kill 90 minutes.

I'm pretty sure Deadly Harvest is out of print. I can't remember where I got it,  but I'm sure it was in a discard bin or on the web.

I also like stranded and starving people movies, like Alive, etc. One of my favorites is:

A Savage Hunger (1984) AKA The Oasis: Great story about a plane crash-landing in the desert and the way the survivors spiral downward as they fight to stay alive. This movie deals with topics that most in this genre don't address. It's not a silly movie. It's smart and entertaining. You'll never travel on a plane the same way again.

It is also out of print but worth looking out for.