Badmovies.org Forum

You don't need to tell me that you guys are not those advice people in the newspaper, and that this is a bad movie site not some Soap Opera show but I would like some advice.

In one of my classes there is a girl that i developed a crush on. I had trouble talking to her unless we worked together, so it took a lot will power to start a causaul talk with her outside of working. I finally stopped trying to be her boyfriend and tried being her friend. Fast forward to now and we're friends. We work together quite a bit, I'm going to invite her to my Eagle Cermony, she's invited me and my family to a barbaque this saturday. So I guess I doing all right. Here's a slight problem (well concern) I've been getting the urge to tell her my feelings, she doesn't have a boyfriend at the moment but I think there is a slight risk that'd I'd loose her completely (doubt but) It was the advice of somebod that said "If you're too wishy washy about this then you don't deserve each other" SO I'm now determined to try harder.  

So far the advice I've gotten has been from Girls around my age, women around my mom's age (my mom included) and guys at my age. My dad died several years ago so I havn't heard much from the eyes of Adult Males so I thought "Try Bad Movies. org there's quite a few married men there they might give you something to think about" (note I don't mind if Susan or a guy my age gives me their two cents) This is the first time I've every felt this way for another person so I'm full of questions and uncertainty.

So do you guys think I should tell her while she doesn't have a boyfriend or try getting closer still?

If Andrew feels this is inapprotie then do your duty and delete it and I apologize.



Post Edited (06-07-05 12:20)

Dave,
I'm really the last one that should give advice on something like this as I was not all that good with girls when I was your age (as I got older I got bolder).  I did want to tell you that I understand what you're going through and I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

I'd tell her ASAP, before you become more "crushed" with her, but make sure to find the right moment, of not being too blunt (they hate that) or that she believes the let's-be-friends thing was just a strategy to get closer to her, she could feel hurt.

Hey, I didn't say it would be easy. Good luck!

You should look for signals. If a girl is interested in being more than friends they have a tendancy to drop subtle hints like staring in your eyes when you talk to them, making excuses to touch you on the arm and such, using any and every opportunity to spend time with you, etc. If that stuff isnt there than you run the risk of being the creepy friend that hit on them once. But don't take crushes too seriously. If you're both really young she may not even be ready for that sort of thing. Better yet make friends with all the girls in class. That'll give you a chance to see which ones actually do like you and you'll have your pick. Even if none of them are into you "romantically" you'll have a bunch of new friends, and by knowing lots of girls opportunities to meet even more girls. Why chase one when you can chase them all? : )

Master B has great advise here.  Your best bet at this time may be to make friends with the other young ladies with whom you come into contact.  Be friendly, say hello and use their first name.  DO NOT speak ill of them behind their back, even when tempted to by the other guys.

I guarantee that this will pay huge dividends.  You will have a steady stream of dates and girlfriends.  Then you should have enough experience with girls that when you go off to college, you'll have a jump on the other horn dogs.

Trust in the force, Luke.

Pretty common problem, figuring out how to get a girl who likes you to like you in "that way." I used to spend quite a bit of time second-guessing myself with women, and trying to find some "safe" way to test the waters. Doesn't work. In fact, the more cautious and subtle you try to be, the worse you're likely to appear.

Communication is what works. I didn't have any success until I stopped giving a damn what impression I was making and just started laying my cards on the table. Don't drop hints about what you want, and don't try to guess what she wants. Tell her, ask her. Chances are, she'll appreciate it. Be honest, communicate, and she's likely to either remain your friend, but with a better understanding of you, or return your affection. If you lose her entirely, then you probably never would have gotten her.

Secretly longing for her is, no doubt, uncomfortable for you, and eventually, the friendship will become more uncomfortable for her as well. Better to be up-front with each other, and either move forward with the relationship or direct your search elsewhere.

Women are much more intuitive at reading signals than men (I am sorry if that in any way seems stereotyped). Since you are going to a barbeque with her, if there is another woman whom you feel you can trust and will be at the barbeque as well, tell her how you feel about the girl and ask her for some input from watching the two of you together as to whether she feels the girl likes you enough to be more than friends.

Another thing to do is simply ask the girl. Rather than hinting around the issue with things like 'do you want to go to the movies', which is liable to develop your crush further while she may still think of you as just friends and just end up hurting you in the long run, just simply ask her that since she is not dating somebody right now if she would like to date you, or be your girlfriend, or however you would prefer to put it. If she says no, it is simply no and does not mean 'gag, puke, no, never'; it just simply may mean 'not at this time'.

If she says no, just simply accept it as no and respond with 'okay' or something like that. Being that it was just a question, she answered it one way or another. The worst thing you can do if she says no is to inquire as to why. If she has a reason to tell you she will. Whether or not she accepts, she may well feel flattered. Of course she can always say yes.

If you have developed such a crush that you have to know, it is best to find out now than later. If you are good friends, there is no harm in asking. If you let it carry on until you develop a deeper crush, you are more likely to be hurt should she say no and it could hurt your friendship. Asking now would be best, and should she say no it will at least put the idea in her mind that you like her and she could well ask you at a later time (but don't get your hopes up).

Again, she could say yes.

I have an ongoing thing similar to your situation. I'm confortable with where we're at and she's really cool so, no complaints. I'm probably 14 years older than you but things don't change all that much. They do but they don't. Can't explain it.

Here's a few things to ponder:

1. Does she talk to you about other guys, as in does she tell you who she likes and why? Or is it more like she tells you what she doesn't like? Which one are you like? (I admit I'm still not sure which one is best in every situation.) It is usually better to here what she likes, which can be a subtle hint.

2. The signals, man. Would you say you have a physical aspect when you're joking around and stuff? Does she touch you or push you if you make her laugh?

3. Think about what you usually talk about. That'll give you some hints.

4. Ultimately, don't think about 1-3 too much. I'd say tell her. Do it in a meaningful way BUT in a small way too. It's an extreme example, but a dozen roses and a sappy poem would freak her out. Do it when you have some privacy and are feeling comfortable. A quiet moment. You may feel funny but mention some of the things you like about her in different areas.

Make sure your chores are done too. ;)
(I'm pretty sure an Eagle Scout (congrats) would already be doing that though)

I'm 19, and I met my current girlfriend of two years at a party where I had never actually talked to her before. We ended up with her because I was honest, outgoing, fun to be around, and expressed some sort of intelligence. Since you can appreciate bad movies it's obvious you got the intelligence down, so being honest and a little bold will be your left and right hand men. Having fun and being comfortable around her will show her your commitment level; women like a man who is willing to spend time, effort, and a little bit of money on them. Try buying her something she likes - jewelry, a CD with a song you at one time enjoyed together, or something that will remind her of you when she sees it (don't be egotistical and buy a snowglobe with your face in it or anything like that). Going some place together and spending time that secures emotional attachments is a sure way to create a bond. Again, be honest and talk about life, the universe... you know, everything. A hike with a sit in a quiet place is good. So is a beach if you're near that. Take a cue from the movies and plan ahead for a sunset. Magic hour really is something special.

Movies are good for dates for a number of reasons, my favorite being Bela Lugosi's as quoted in the movie "Ed Wood:"

"Take a girl to a scary movie. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula"."

This is theory from a psychological and physiological perspective. Physiologically, the movies is likely to increase the heart rate, and an increased heart rate is good for you. It takes care of the work of getting worked up (or as a general, nonsexual term "aroused") so now all you have to do is replace the fearful emotion with a more loving emotion. Trust me, it sounds farfetched, but it's both scientifically tested, and practical (I've tried it, and man does it work) When it gets scary and both your hearts are racing, reach for her hand. Bridge the scary gap with physical contact and turn that fear into love. Man, that works every time.

If you're up to it, a more advanced trick would be the jealousy test. Start talking about another girl and gauge her reaction. If she shows hints of jealousy it can mean 1.) she's interested in you and your commitment to her, or 2.) she's possessive

Most important and always a rule of thumb, don't make your objective her. If it's just the idea of being with her, I'd reconsider. However, if you honestly have tons of fun together, go for it. Listen to her and how she reacts.

Hey, everyone's got love advice. Listen to what you feel comfortable doing. Be yourself.

-Scottie-

Too much talking about feelings...... I don't comprehend. I mean I get chicks like a ROCK STAR. Typical convesation between me and a girl:

Girl: Hey is that a leather jacket, Ohh you must be a rebel.
Rock and Roll Rich: dam right, you want go do it in the back of my Buick
Girl: Ok.

See no problem at all. (Cough)

But seriously, I say just go for it, ask if she says no aleast you know you tried. Everyone here has given pretty good advice. I have asked girls who were friends that said no and well were still friends.

_____________________________
"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World



Post Edited (06-07-05 19:15)

What would Leon Phelps do?

"Ya know, when a man works hard his entire life enduring hundreds of ladies, many of whom he does not even remember you'd like to think that at the end of the day he will be given a lot of money, without having had to earn it. "

Ah, when is advice not needed when concerning a girl?

I was friends with my current girlfriend for about 5/6 months before we actually started going out, and that was because I didn't pipe up with my feelings when I should have, we have now been going out for two years, and its pretty cool, but she always takes the opporunity to have a go at my lack of motivation, so get it out of the way, for good or bad, as soon as the right moment presents itself: remember, 'fortune favours the bold!'

This reminds me of an episode of Freaks and Geeks I watched last week where one of the 'geeks' Sam is talking to the girl he likes, and they start getting close, and then she drops the bomb: I think of you like a sister!

Chances are you'll be in a bit of trouble if you hear that line :-P  oh and I'm not implying that you are a geek either :-)

But from what it sounds like, it doesn't seem like that particular situation.  By the way, are your two families close?  Not really important factor I guess, just curious [if they aren't it could be a good sign for you, but like I said, not important]

Like you said there is always a risk of losing her completely, but that really just depends on how you handle things, not how she feels about you: if you basically act like a stalker when telling her your feelings that might ruin your already existing friendship, whereas asking her out straightfoward like other people have already mentioned will at least preserve a friendship if she happens to say no.

The advice people have already given is pretty good, though I wouldn't personally shower her with gifts that she would like until after you start going out!

Like others have already said, don't make a big deal out of it, like h.p Love said "a dozen roses and a sappy poem would freak her out" be confident and sure of yourself [although nobody would blame you for being nervous.]

Good luck and god speed young Dave.  May you move with the grace of Fred Astaire and have the charm of Sean Connery! [oh, and be yourself!]

I like what AndyC said best.

(I'm 33, married for eight years, and my three year old daughter is sitting on my shoulders.  )

yeah true with what Dean said. when talking to her Davey i would just be calm and cool about it, just tell her you have feelings for her and that you enjoy her company, you like her personality, or you just think she's a really awesome person. i would stray away from things like "i can't stop thinking about you, i'm losing sleep." those kinds of things are cool to tell a girl later on in relationship when things are real serious and she feels the same way but when a relationship starts you're always kind of still feeling each other out.

like everyone else said i say just go for it, but wait when you both have some private time and just be straight up and honest. a real woman will appreciate you for your honesty regardless of how she feels for you. and yeah, networking is always a good thing. best of luck and remember we only live once but it sounds to me like there's a good possiblity this girl likes you also.

I fully agree (I'm 40 tomorrow. aargh!)

thank you all of you! I feel a lot better now. I think I will tell her soon, maybe this month, perhaps over a lunch. Mom thinks I should try and ask her something among the lines of "Are you really my friend or have you just been really nice to me?" Which I think is a bit dumb and may be offensive. I dunno what do you think? I don't think I'll ask her that.

I had a wild "what if" thought. What if you were to get her to read this thread. Maybe she'd think it was sweet that you were putting such serious thought into this. Surely she'd never forget about it. I think it would be really different. Sort of a Sleepless in Seattle approach. (I could edit out this post).

Then maybe you'll date, get engaged, and married. Then Andrew can promote that his website led to a marriage.

You could just try stalking her....
Just kidding Dave, don't do that.
Good luck to you. Let us know how it works out.

Sure I will. Thanks.



I mean I'l tell you guys when something happens not the Stalker idea that was mentioned.



Post Edited (06-08-05 14:49)

daveblackeye15 wrote:

> thank you all of you! I feel a lot better now. I think I will
> tell her soon, maybe this month, perhaps over a lunch. Mom
> thinks I should try and ask her something among the lines of
> "Are you really my friend or have you just been really nice to
> me?" Which I think is a bit dumb and may be offensive. I dunno
> what do you think? I don't think I'll ask her that.


I agree with you. That line seems like putting her on the spot and could offend her.

Ok we are all different, there is no code book. But as a woman in my life i have had "friends" ask me outright for a date, what's worse is when you want to be just friends with them and you get the "BUT WHY? WHAT WOULD IT HURT? GIVE ME A REASON". holy god, i didn't ask for a spanish inquisition! If she says no, do not ask her why...just say that's cool, but i'm always here.... and move on.  But if you do ask her out, be sure she knows if it's a date or just hanging out. It's not just how you ask her but how you look at her when you do it. That's how i knew the friends (above) meant a date date, it's how they looked when they asked that was far beyond the "hey lets check out that new movie". If you guys just started hanging out together i'd suggest working your way up by checking out a new hot movie in the theater together. The barbeque you're going to is an opportune time for that "hey, did you see the preview for that movie! That looks pretty awsome, c'mon lets go check it out saturday afternoon or something"


We are all about signals, you gotta learn how to read someone, chemistry happens.  Not all women are touchy so that isn't a great way to read someone. But sometimes you can tell when you're sitting around talking and she locks eyes with you, sometimes between conversations the eyes meet and that can tell it all.  Also it is important if she talks about guys and relationships with you, that is really how a girl opens herself up to a guy. I don't mean the man bashing chit chat but the "oh i wish I could find a guy who....." convo. If you can get into that then you can slip in the "well you can just forget all those guys and take a chance with me" line in a joking way and see her reaction.  Then somewhere remind her that at the bbq someone slipped some vodka in her drink and she signed a contract tha she promised to marry you when she was 30 if neither of you were with anyone.  heh, that'll win her



Post Edited (06-08-05 21:25)

Susan wrote:


> holy god, i didn't ask for a spanish inquisition!

NNNNOOOOOOOOOBBBODDY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Get the comfey chair! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Seriously, I had two different situations. I fell for a girl in 7th grade and someone told her that I liked her. She would pretend to like me for awhile and then turn and tell me things like "You make me want to vomit" or "I wish you'd die."
I thought that eventually I'd win her over. By my senior I was ready to give up. My mom made me ask her if she would go to the prom with me. I knew she would say no and she did. Then she made a huge fuss about me asking her. She later married the guy she went to prom with and I'm happy to say he is now serving time in the state prision for making and selling meth. She remarried and her second husband had a cowboy hat on in their wedding pictures. I think I was above her.

The other person was girl in college. We were in a campus organization together and we worked together on a project. I was worried about the same thing happening, but I felt I had to tell her. She said she was involved with someone else, but we actually were closer after that. We went places together and did called each other every night.

It really depends on the person.

>>>>>>Then somewhere remind her that at the bbq someone slipped some vodka in her drink and she signed a contract tha she promised to marry you when she was 30 if neither of you were with anyone. heh, that'll win her

Fell for that line did ya Susan?  :-P

Anywho, keep us posted Dave; after all, since you brought it up we must see it through to the bloody end, so get cracking!

I will I will, I said I would. Maybe I'll take her to see High Tension some time :)

Susan wrote:

> Also it is important if she talks about guys and
> relationships with you, that is really how a girl opens herself
> up to a guy. I don't mean the man bashing chit chat but the "oh
> i wish I could find a guy who....." convo. If you can get into
> that then you can slip in the "well you can just forget all
> those guys and take a chance with me" line in a joking way and
> see her reaction.  

A ha! Points for me for getting this one right. That's right, I'm the ladies man. (Raises cavassea (sp?) in air.)

1. Does she talk to you about other guys, as in does she tell you who she likes and why? Or is it more like she tells you what she doesn't like? Which one are you like? (I admit I'm still not sure which one is best in every situation.) It is usually better to hear what she likes, which can be a subtle hint.

She has told me a few times about her ex boy friend now friend. I did once ask her a few days ago if she had a boyfriend and she talked a little about them ("no") I guess it's sort of in between likes and doesn't like.

Before I write another word I'm going to refer you back to Susan.

Uhh.Sure. Were your kidding or do you think you did something wrong?

daveblacke15,
I am not that involved in this discussion but you wrote that you want to ask this girl directly or that you want to tell her your feelings.
Ok,you will get a straight answer but I don´t think this is a good idea, since this will make up the "frontlines" between you and her - does she really like you (all right) or does she just like you in way you don´t want to be liked by her.
What I mean is that sometimes it´s better not to talk about that and to wait for a moment for a gesture like holding hands, a good-by-kiss etc.
A surprising kiss after a cool afternoon with her is much better. Still you have the chance to say "hey, that was a joke" or so...  
Or dancing with the girl that´s the best to find out what she feels for you. The closer you´ll dance with her, the better your chances.

daveblackeye15 wrote:

> Uhh.Sure. Were your kidding or do you think you did something
> wrong?
>


Nah, I just meant that all us guys chirped up and said it all and then Susan capped it off with the needed womanly side of things. All of it being good.  

I never thought about women always being asked out by friends. Sounds like a real "problem".

Didn't you ever see When harry met Sally? Actually it's the woman's bible, our secrety society forces us to swear on it at all our ceremonies ;-)

Seriously tho the line in the movie rings true. "Men and women can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the way". Every male friend i've ever had has wanted to pursue it, except if he's gay. You aren't even safe when you get married because then the wife is like "Why do you need to spend so much time with her? Why can't i be your friend"?

Whatever you do don't go see a chick flick on your first date, as much as we want a sensitive guy first impresions of seeing a sissy movie don't bode well - that's something you have to ease into like an old man slipping into a warm bath.  Plus those movies are a trap - because no man will ever love a woman like the guy did in the film and you don't stand a chance at measuring up. Don't take her to see a film like Tomb Raider either, because then we'll just see you as some sexist pig who objectifies women.  Go to a comedy or a thriller. Stay away from the horror gore - if we glance over at you in a dark theater while a girl is getting chainsawed and see a gleam in your eye we probably wont' call you back.

I could divulge alot of secrets to how to win a woman over - secrets passed on from generation to generation amongst women, but then i'd have to kill you ;-)



Post Edited (06-09-05 21:50)

Susan wrote:
 
> "Men and women
> can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the
> way".

Don't take movie quotes too seriously, Dave. It is however, more difficult for two people who are about the same age and relative attractiveness not to have at least entertained the thought.


>  like an old man slipping into a warm bath.

Just don't fart. (:


> but then i'd have to kill you ;-)

Whoa...she's flirting with you Dave. (heh..heh..heh)

...And make sure not to overthink things, while you're at it...

The sex thing always getting in the way isn't true by the way, daveblackeye15.   It has grains of truth to it, that saying --  but I can swear to you, *I* haven't wanted, as Harry says, to "bang" every woman I've met.  ;)  

Some women have "great personalities," after all...

=)

>>>>>>Or dancing with the girl that´s the best to find out what she feels for you. The closer you´ll dance with her, the better your chances.

Herein lies a problem, since most guys I know [especially me] cannot dance, so whatever positives lay in the 'getting close' factor, you cannot possibly hope to gain any ground once you decide to show her your own, personal version of Stayin' Alive...

Another tip when attempting to dance: don't get up on the bar and dance.  A mate of mine was at a bar/club where they allow people to dance on the bar, and in his enthusiasm to get up and boogie down, he proceeded to accidentally kick the girl behind the bar in the head, which he didn't actually notice, and kept on dancing...  very funny, granted, but something the girls will be fighting over?  Maybe not... :-P

Well, anyway, I for one am done with the advice: I think we might be [and by 'we' I mean 'me'] getting too involved and quite possibly making a mess of everything!  Let's just leave Dave to his own devices now: we have taught the young padawan all there is to teach, the rest, they say, is up to fate now.

You getting all this Dave? : )

Going for that Antonio Banderes look?

Top two buttons are etiquette on a three button blazer, or just the top button on a two button blazer. When you sit down unbutton them all. Don't forget a napkin in your lap when you eat or you're bound to drop piping hot gravy all over myself. oops.Good choice with a jacket though. It's a good signal to show some class with a blazer.

Susan wrote:

>. Don't take her to see a film like Tomb Raider
> either, because then we'll just see you as some sexist pig who
> objectifies women.  Go to a comedy or a thriller. Stay away
> from the horror gore - if we glance over at you in a dark
> theater while a girl is getting chainsawed and see a gleam in
> your eye we probably wont' call you back.

D'oh!

And no more than two gold chains.

Go to www.askmen.com

That site has some of the best love advice I've ever read dealing with a wide variety of love & dating issues.

daveblackeye15 wrote:

> .....Huh? Sorry I was trying on tight black jeans.
>
> Here, if you answer this this will help me: Should I have two
> buttons or three buttons unbotten on my shirt? Is three over
> doing it ? Or will it make me look gay? Is two not enough? I've
> been worryng about this for days now!!!

EEWWWW!!! You would have to put that image in my mind. EEWWWW!!!

i hate the dating scene in america, everyone is so fake and pretentious. my heart truly goes out to all single men in america, regardless of age.

Dave, have you seen the movie DINER? There is an interesting popcorn sharing technique you can use from it.(heh..heh..heh)

Make sure to add in lots of fake chest hair and a big gold medallion.

Zapranoth wrote:

> ...And make sure not to overthink things, while you're at it...
>
> The sex thing always getting in the way isn't true by the way,
> daveblackeye15.   It has grains of truth to it, that saying --
> but I can swear to you, *I* haven't wanted, as Harry says, to
> "bang" every woman I've met.  ;)  
>
> Some women have "great personalities," after all...
>
> =)

It's true. It applies to "friends", not just every woman you've ever met. Either you want it OR they t want it, or you do it, or someone hits on someone and there's tension thereafter, or the significant other or spouse thinks your doing it or want to because you're good friends with someone of the opposite sex. It's a no win situation. movie line or not, there's a bit of truth to it

please don't go over 3 buttons and look like a manwhore. Especially if there's excessive chest hair or gold chains involved ;-)  Btw are you wearing this button up at the bbq or on a date? i'd be concerned about certain colors of shirts in outdoor heat if you tend to have alot of pit-sweat

gee, i kinda wonder if we're all freaking him out



Post Edited (06-10-05 21:28)

Susan wrote:
 
> gee, i kinda wonder if we're all freaking him out

With the things I have seen Dave write...not a chance (:

Okay, new poll.

Should Dave make plans to tell her?

Should Dave be spontaneous?

and

Should Dave wear an earing with the medallion? (:

ERROR!

Okay I just found out that she won't be working this Sunday, she'll be out of town.......All right then, I resovle to telling her SOON, most likely next week.

And no medalion.

Dave should dress up as a superhero and tell her that way. Perhaps he could be a real cool hero such as one of the Wonder Twins or even Aquaman. Show her Dave...a real man can feel secure and even heroic when dressed in bright colored tights!

daveblackeye15 wrote:

> ERROR!
>
> Okay I just found out that she won't be working this Sunday,
> she'll be out of town.......All right then, I resovle to
> telling her SOON, most likely next week.
>
> And no medalion.

Just the earring, right? (:

Hasn't SuperDave already been taken?

We need a good superhero name for Dave.

How 'bout Blackeyed Peas? Uh...wait a minute...that gives the wrong impression.

Any suggestions?

you'll find everything you need to get ready Here (http://www.gangstagold.com/)

I think just "The Dave" or "Dave Man" says it all...especially with the chest hair and gold medallions.

Yea...that's it...Dave Man. He can use the initials DM. That way it can serve double duty when he runs game sessions of D&D.(heh..heh..heh)

Hey Dave if want to dress to impress listen to rock and roll rich:

Leather Jacket (Biker Jacket prefered)
Appetite for Destruction from Guns and Roses T-shirt (old and worn prefered)
Black Jeans (NOT tight, ripped at kness prefered)
Boots( Timberland, Biker, etc)

If you need any of these items give me a call :)

___________________________
"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World

ph33r the mullet!

and ph33r Susan...

(dear God, Susan, you come up with some *seriously* Sick & Wrong sites...  you were my hero already for the "Lotion" reference in that other thread, and now the gangsta gold...)

Oh, and here's Dave (http://www.7secondsoflove.com/winners/) after he wins his lady's heart...

well zap - you gotta get yo grill on!

(http://www.removablecaps.com/images/stylem-Th.gif)

On Sunday I went over to her house for the barbeque. I had a bit of fun, it was pretty much all inside her living but it was pretty fun. My graduation gift was my own digital camera, and I took it with me to take pictures of the barbeque. I got one of the two of us standing next to each other, I knew I was bigger than her but not THAT MUCH BIGGER. I'm about three times bigger than !, She is pretty small, not midget small but small. I gave her some flowers and a card for graudtion that she liked.

When we met up a graduation I got to talk with her a bit before it started. Afterwards we met again and I told her one of the cornish things ever said. (this was not my reveal my feelings to her, this was just some Graduation last words)

"1) I love hangin' with you....and 2) Let me just say that the only thing that is equal to your beauty are your culinary skills"

She gave me a small smile and then we got seperated by the incoming audince crowd. My mom laughed out loud when I told her what I said.

How much you wanna bet that she's going to avoid me like the plague now? -_-;

Dave, you smoothy you. Don't give up hope yet, there's still plenty left in you.

wow this post honestly gives me hope in the human race again i think. it's nice to see young people falling in love, or in the process of it atleast.

Dave, i wouldn't be hard on yourself, believe me women know an honest gesture apart from a dishonest one most of the time. i'm sure she knows that what you said you meant it from the heart.

just follow your heart, that's all i can say.



Post Edited (06-12-05 22:24)

I hope that she  thinks her cooking is to die for. ;-)

Dave, I might have overdone the "smooth" bit as I was just poking you a little but I was serious in a way. You handled it fairly well under the circunstances and I'll bet she saw that you were being honest in what you said. I was also serious about not giving up. If you happen to say something that you think is corny or stupid, as long as she doesn't run from you screaming, you're probably doing fine.
Good luck.

Thanks. And Susan I wouldn't say her food is to die for but she is a good cook. We were both in the same cooking class our senior year and next up we'll BOTH hopefully get into the LCC and get into it's cooking program, it's one of the best I've heard. After that her cooking will be to die for. And she is very beautiful.



Post Edited (06-13-05 00:23)

Well it sounds like you are both serving up a hot plate of LOVE! [wait did I just say that? Someone hit me, that was soooo lame...]

But yeah, I think that from the sounds of things everything went fine.  Just because you say something silly doesn't mean she'll avoid you, [as you no doubt can tell, I say stupid things all the time] but that being said, I'd avoid going into the whole 'I like you' innuendo, and personally I'd think its best to just tell her instead [you don't want to drag it out too long, and get her worried if she happens to pick up on what you are hinting at]

and congrats on Graduation.  Good luck with future endevours and stuff [insert emotional 'our little guy is growing up' phrases here]

Dave if you want a smooth line next time you see her this is the first thing you say:

"HERE I AM ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRCANIE"

She will fall for you right there. Oh and if she says "oh you like the scorpions" marry her right there :)

_____________________________
"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World

or you could serenade her outside her window singing "I want you to want me"
make sure you bring backup singers for the chorus

If she slaps a restraining order on you then you'll know for certain if it was meant to be or not

Susan wrote:

> or you could serenade her outside her window singing "I want
> you to want me"
> make sure you bring backup singers for the chorus
>
> If she slaps a restraining order on you then you'll know for
> certain if it was meant to be or not
>

The Dwight Yoakam version.

Thanks. Maybe I'll try the music thing when I tell her.

daveblackeye15 wrote:

> Thanks. Maybe I'll try the music thing when I tell her.
>

Uh...if I might make a suggestion here...
I would use something that sets the mood nicely like War Ensemble or even Dead Skin Mask from Slayer. Chicks dig it, baby.

Oh man this is my going up there as one of my favorite topics. If  its love song you need I got your poison(not the the band):

Guns and Roses-Sweet Child of Mine
Boston-More than a Feeling
Aerosmith-Angel
Stone temple pilots-  Sex type thing
AC/DC-You shook me all night long

And when you start to get serious play these gems:

Nine Inch Nails- Closer (If she likes this marry her)
Guns and Roses- Used to love Her (might scary her to like you)

_____________________________
"We Greeks created democracy! You also created homos!"-Ghost World

...or the REAL love song (again by Slayer) "213".

odinn7 wrote:

> ...or the REAL love song (again by Slayer) "213".
>

The song I played for my now wife when she popped into my apartment unexpectedly one night while we were dating that I thought summed up my feelings for her quite well:

Sabbra Cadabra by Black Sabbath

http://www.black-sabbath.com/discog/sabbathbloodysabbath.html#sabbracadabra

(Probably would be better after you 'tell her' and things are established, though).

First song I ever played for my wife was an accoustic guitar solo instrumental I had written

rich andrini wrote:
> Guns and Roses- Used to love Her (might scary her to like you)


uh, that might be something you would sing after the relationship was over..lol

Or how about "LOTION"? ;-)

Great idea here Dave. Try interpretive dance to Karl Orff's O FORTUNA. (:

I appreciate the music advice. But what I'm wodering is: does anybody think I shouldn't have said , what I had said to her after graduation? I'm just wondering if I should be expecting an awkard moment if I talk to her tonight in a chat room.

Talking to her in a chat room?

Not on a telephone?

(Is this how it's done these days?)

- Z

PS:  The love song you need is DEFINITELY "Something That You Said" by the Beautiful South, viz:

The perfect love song, it has no words
It only has death threats
And you can tell a classic ballad
By how threatening it gets

So if you walk into her house
And she's cutting up your mother

She's only trying to tell you that

She loves you like no other,
No other,

She loves you like no other!

The best advice I can give concerning flattering a woman is to make her the star of her own movie set to stock footage of scientific documentaries. Watch "Rose Hobart" (1936) and be sure to note the use of a purple filter as well as Brazilian popular music. If you really want to tell a girl just how much you care for her, record her reactions and set them against completely unrelated scenes in the film. Try it with her home movies and your home movies! You two could have been childhood best friends having at one point taken baths together, though apparently on opposite sides of a long bath tub. A match made in heaven? Better! A match made in Hollywood!

Fearless Freep Wrote:

>>>>First song I ever played for my wife was an accoustic guitar solo instrumental I had written


Well obviously it wasn't complete crap, since you are now married to her, but how did it go?  What were the lyrics and did she laugh her ass off, or did she really enjoy it and had a tear in her eye when you finished?  :->

Also, what you said Dave after graduation wasn't bad, pitiful or silly, so it was fine, don't sweat it.

I wouldn't attempt to clarify what you meant, or anything like that, it could lead to trouble.

That being said, if she didn't have an idea about your feelings before hand, she might have a hint now, so I wouldn't tiptoe around the subject too much.  

Also, another touching love song could be anything sung by Issac Hayes from the South Park soundtracks or even 'A whole Nude world" a spoof of  Aladdin's 'A Whole New World' that I heard recently.

The first lyrics for those concerned are:

I can show you my cock,
big and throbbing and splendid,
I can make it extended on my magic matress ride.


[Ain't it romantic?]

is it possible to have an akward moment in a chat room? lol
if anything that is the place you feel least inhibited

I think it would be really monumental if you showed how you truly felt about her. You need to sculpt an image of her bust out of fruit loops