Badmovies.org Forum

The endlessly flailing guitar solo in Freebird is what I object to.

Endlessly.

Flailing.

Same with the endlessly flailing keyboard solo in "light my fire."

Actually William Shatner's (known to mere mortals as the OTS) album Has Been is pretty damned good. Sure he doesn't sing, but he even makes fun of that fact in one ot the songs. Some selections on it are very strangely poignant.

did anybody actually listen to the mp3 samples from fabio's album on the link i posted??? lol   I can't believe there were no comments on it

Well I just listened to the Fabio albums and I'm so scared that my girlfriend would get a hold of these that she might be running for the door and into Fabio's arms.

It actually reminds me of that TV series Average Joe or one of those dating shows, where a bunch of, well, loser-like guys are vying for the attentions of a total fox, and at the end, the average guy who wins ends up breaking up with her because he found out she used to date the "Fabio''.  Some people just can't handle the pressure...

But my god, these Fabio songs are funny stuff.  

Fabio on slow dancing: ''I want to hear her say yes, I want to kiss her for a very VERY long time.  I can't help myself, all I want to do is touch her.  Her caress is my caress...''

Fabio on films: ''I like to take a special lady to a cinema where we can hold hands in the dark and whisper very quitely about what we see.  I wonder, will she kiss me like that?''
or 'Romantic films lead to beautiful adventures'

Don't even get me started on the muzak...

Slow, sensual, and oh so HOT! [my god, he's getting to me too...]

Tell me Susan, did you swoon?

Susan wrote:

> did anybody actually listen to the mp3 samples from fabio's
> album on the link i posted??? lol   I can't believe there were
> no comments on it
>

I couldn't...I just couldn't bring myself to listen to them. Yes, I am scared I will become a fan.

dean - it's like the same music on every song. Porn music except he's making up stuff in broken english

"i vunnnnder....vil she keeeeeeeees me lik dat?" lolol everytime i hear it i'm laughing out loud it's so bad. Particularly that "When somebody loves somebody" song where he makes a half ass attempt to actually sing on the chorus..oh yes, it's that bad


On the other hand it would make a great gag gift or white elephant gift.

Ok..where is Peggy Bundy I gotta tell her about Fabio's album. She's gonna swoon.

Actually Joe Pesci retired from acting in 1998 and has been working in jazz I believe.

I do own Pat Boone's In a Metal Mood and still listen to it occasionally. He covers heavy metal songs ("Enter Sandman," "Crazy Train," "Smoke on the Water," etc.) with more of a jazz score. I played it once for some friends who are more into metal than I am, and they actually screamed and made me take it out.

I actually really enjoyed Paul Anka's latest album, Rock Swings. He basically does a whole bunch of popular 80s and 90s tunes as swing tunes, kind of Sinatra-like. And it works.

As far as what's bad, I'd say the worst music is the sort of cookie-cutter commercial pop that's been coming out, all engineered to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Not a drop art left in it. All sounds the same.

The mention of metal made me think of a conversation my wife and I had while watching Canadian Idol earlier this week. Compared to its American counterpart, it actually tries to offer a lot more diversity in music. Anyway, this week, they were doing rock, which I found very interesting. It was down to the last four, I think, so all were pretty strong singers, but not one of them could sing rock. They could sing on key, they could sing loudly, they could even affect a bit of a growl, but they just couldn't push it over into that on-pitch scream that the song demanded.

My wife and I got to talking about just how hard it is to sing on key with the kind of power those old metal singers put behind it. People never gave those guys their due. I mean, if you can't sing on key, you sure can't shriek on key, and even then, its a challenge. Jeez, try imitating Brian Johnson for five seconds and your throat hurts.

The other thing the successful metal bands - or any classic rock bands - had going for them was distinctiveness. The good ones all had a distinctive style, but more importantly, the lead singers all had distinctive voices. Listen to Alice Cooper, AC/DC, Guns 'n' Roses or Aerosmith. You don't even have to know the song to know who it is. Works for almost any good rock band of the 70s or 80s, in fact. Today, popular music is all about perfect pitch and perfect voices (when it's not about looks), the songs are written by committee, and it all comes out sounding the same. And the radio stations play it over and over and over again.

Next to that, the Wrestling Album looks like a masterpiece. Actually, in terms of distinctive vocals and variety, it has much more in common with good music.

I agree with you AndyC. Maybe I am biased to the old stuff but when I listen to the radio I can tell whos who when it comes to the rock from 70s 80s and even early 90s stuff being a fan of them or not. When it comes to today I can't tell. Its hard to tell Green Day from Sum 41 for example. Even in the metal I can't tell Killswitch engage from Lamb of God. I might not like them all that much I always felt System Of  a Down has a unique sound that I can tell from others. Even when I go to the underground rock clubs some guys who play metal or hard rock its" like didn't I hear this before"?

-------------------------------------------------
Most of all I hate dancing then work, exercise, people,stupid people

I own a copy of Richard Harris' "Photographs" albumn --
This is a genuinely bad BAD music record.
I treasure it.
I have played this for people -- nobody can make it past the first 3 cuts . . . so far . . .
Perhaps Vermin would care to contribute to this thread ?
peter johnson/denny crane

You guys know about Golden Throats: the Great Celebrity Sing-Off, I assume?  (of course you do, on this site.  But if you don't, well... look at this. (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0000032C1/qid=1124514957/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-1859566-8882546?v=glance&s=music&n=507846) )

That album is truly a flaming piece of s**t.  It's definitely something to put on in the background at a party, just to see who is paying attention.

The churned-out pop crap these days is bad, too, though, in a less distinctive way.  Golden Throats is bad in the way "bad" movies are bad -- bad enough to listen to.  But when I'm reading iMixes on the iTunes store, looking for new music to jog to, I see whole playlists of stuff by bands I've never heard of... bands with names, and sounds, that essentially amount to a Douglas Adams SEP field...

I'm thoroughly sick of modern music. It DOES all sound the same. I can't tell who's who and most of the time, I don't even care. Very few bands these days have anything that sets them apart. I do like Godsmack and a few others but there aren't many newer groups out there worth anything.

oddin, i'm the same way I listen to Gorillaz tho. Some of The Killers music (that you don't hear on the radio) is good. But mostly i'm retro 80's, i like old stuff like The Smiths, U2, as well as obscure stuff like a few songs from This mortal coil. I'm all over the map with my taste in music, i even like the xanadu album (mostly for the ELO songs )

;-)

Distinctiveness is really what is lacking in most music today. I can think of any number of classic songs that can be identified in the first couple of seconds. They have a catchy beat, an interesting melody, some sort of distinctive guitar riff. The groups stood out from each other, and the songs stood out from each other.

It's funny, if you look at the greatest names in the history of rock, you will find that good looks and silky-smooth voices weren't all that important. They could write great songs, they could play them, they could belt them out. They had style, showmanship.

When my wife and I saw the Eagles in Toronto last spring, I think Don Henley summed the industry up nicely, when he mentioned that someone had told the Eagles they're not 'video material.'

"Our belly buttons aren't pretty. We can't dance. All we can do is sing and play these instruments. Go figure."

Another great illustration of the problem can be found in the radio business itself. A local radio station here (the number one station, last time I cared) has a weekly internet listeners poll, which I thought was a good idea until I realized they were abdicating any sort of thought, vision or responsibility on their own part. Now that I think about it, they were great up until they started the poll, and then they started to suck, because they're now aimed squarely at the lowest common denominator.

After participating in the poll for a couple of months, I stopped listening to their station. Listen to 35 song clips in succession, and you soon come to realize that they all sound alike. Do it for eight or ten weeks, and you realize the songs they play also never change, and they never seem to try anything new in the poll, where it would be safe to experiment. I still didn't give up on the station until the program director (a smug a***ole) started sending me patronizing emails, arguing with the feedback he had supposedly asked for, and basically telling me that since they are now on top, they don't give a damn about the listeners who supported them up to now. He actually told me the poll was so much better than the old days, when they'd have to wait for the ratings to come out, scratch their heads and try something new. He actually said this.

Basically, he told me they didn't need my business. So be it. Haven't listened to them for at least six months. Last weekend, I turned the station on, and it was like I never left. Sounded exactly the same. Same songs, same crappy station promos. I was thoroughly sick of those songs months ago, and they're still on there. It's weird, they don't play a lot of classic stuff anymore, and they don't add much new stuff either. Sooner or later, they're going to fall out of first place, and they'll be scratching their heads in spite of themselves.

Then again, even the classic rock stations don't use much imagination. Thirty or forty years of rock, artists with long lists of successful albums, and you'd think it's a handful of one-hit wonders by what gets played.

I'm just lucky I found a station in my area where they actually have some respect for the music, and they seem to be successful enough. I'll never go back to any of the others.

"Suddenleeeeee....  the wheels are in mo-shun.... and ahhhh-ha-ha ha HI......"

Susan likes Waterworld AND ELO *and* OLJ...  Susan likes Waterworld AND ELO *and* OLJ....

(Hahahaha.... I've got some ELO albums too.  My tastes are pretty eclectic as well - I've got the soundtrack to Urgh!  A Music War, and somewhere around here I even have a Klaus Nomi album.)

I'll have to check out Godsmack, Gorillaz, and the Killers.  I was going over the itunes store and saw that "Go Faster" by the Black Crowes was on a lot of running lists, and finally seriously listened to them... pretty good stuff.  

Just recently saw an exceedingly pouty-looking Mariah Carey in a music video, in which she was doing some really annoying yet fortunately barely audible hip-hoppy stuff... I think she's gotta be up there for bad, in terms of overall horrid-ness divided by musical talent.  I'd have to put Whitney up there too, for sheer overall waste of God-given gifts...

Ugh.  Just listened to that Fabio mp3 site.

You're right.. he does in fact say that he has "mammaries of our perfect time together."

At least I know what my best friend is getting for his birthday this March, though.  =)

My top bad albums (in no particular order)

1.   Captain and Tennille's Greatest Hits (it has Muskrat Love on it!)
2.   John Travolta Sings
3.   An astonishingly horrid album of German yodeling that my mom threw our way one year.  Bunch of girls, sounded like they had spoons stuck in their throats.
4.   The Big & Rich album that has "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" on it.

(That song is astonishingly bad.  It features the line, "ah'm a thoroughbred, that's what she said, in the back of her truck.. BED" in it.  And the words "bling bling" used as a verb.)

5.   Dwight Yoakem's Greatest Hits.  Has an utter butchery of Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me" on it.  And other bad things.

6.   Most any Alan Jackson album, period.

7.   Oooh.  The Brady Bunch Album, that sucked.

8.   The Transformed Man (Shatner!)

I'm sure I'll remember more later.

surprise i didn't see "the shaggs: philosophy of the world" here.  better than the beatles as frank zappa claimed

Ah, yes!  The Zappa quote re. The Shaggs -- Zappa also recycled the Edgard Varese quote, "The present-day composer refuses to die!!" --
There are far too many really great acts out there that will never hit it big, no matter how hard they try.
In Boulder right now we have a number of really terrific acts that don't fit a comfy style-hole, so they will struggle regardless of talent:
Jay Munly and The Lee Lewis Harlots -- Munly describes what they do as "dark American gothic" -- not Goth, but gothic -- like Grant Wood.  He plays backup for Slim Cessna's Auto Club, on Jello Biafra's Alternative Tentacles records, but this is much further out there than Slim . . .
Woven Hand -- composed of members of 16 Horsepower, who have an overseas following.  Again, too far out there -- BUT, in a country where Tom Waits finally hit it big, Hope springs eternal . . .
BUT, enough about good, unique, compelling music -- Let's get back to BAD!!:
I have a record from Holland from the mid-70's:  Beethoven Psychadelic.  This is a band that compiled everything that was bad about Pink Floyd, ELO, Electric Prunes, etc., and put it all on one disc.:  Inappropriate overdubs, ridiculous narration, people howling & going "aaahhhh!!" a lot . . . really unlistenable.
Speaking of Zappa, I also own Wild Man Fisher's second albumn:  "Hello, My Name is Larry".  This albumn did not benefit from Frank Zappa's production.  Bear in mind that Larry "Wild Man" Fisher was a street lunatic.
Sebastian Cabot Reads Bob Dylan, anyone? . . .
peter johnson/denny crane

Already got the Sebastian Cabot reading Dylan, on the Golden Throats album.

(Note: that's *reading*.)

There's some fantasic album covers here!

http://www.boston.com/ae/music/gallery/bad_album_covers/

Huge manowar fan

(http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Original_Photo/2005/07/08/1120851835_2714.jpg)

Okay StatCat, that bad album cover site is proof positive that drugs and the record business have always gone hand in hand.  There's no other way to explain some of them.  (http://www.smileys.ws/sm/confused/00000016.gif)

these 2 are also favorites


(http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Original_Photo/2005/07/08/1120851836_0312.jpg)


(http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Original_Photo/2005/07/08/1120851836_0244.jpg)


the album "All my Friends are Dead" is another good one

(http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Original_Photo/2005/07/08/1120851836_4262.jpg)



Post Edited (08-22-05 17:36)

GOLDEN THROATS...Oh, my....
Your right, Z...this is the album to see if anyone in a given group has any musical understanding...
If it causes no pain in them, they are philistines, and nothing more.

Man that one looks like Julie is about to get statutorly raped.  

I'd like to see some of the selections from 'All My Friends are Dead'.

Hey look, it's Fez from "That 70's Show"!
(http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Original_Photo/2005/07/08/1120851835_4472.jpg)

Here's a good site for more of the same:
Bad Album Covers (http://www.zonicweb.net/badalbmcvrs/)

There truly are some scary albums out there in the world. they must be destroyed for the sake of humanity
(http://www.cenedella.com/images/WORST2/jeff.jpg)
Something special from Jeff, who is going to scrape your face off!!!!

Wow. Did a Google image search for "bizarre album covers" and this came up. One hip preacher's clever plan to reach the youth of today (or the late 80s anyway). I can only imagine what it sounds like.
(http://www3.sympatico.ca/lorijac/rappinrev.jpg)
Bet he's got nothing on this guy though:
(http://www3.sympatico.ca/lorijac/revrhythm.jpg)
Or how about this little gem:
(http://www3.sympatico.ca/lorijac/unclebud.jpg)
And this one staggers the imagination:
(http://www3.sympatico.ca/lorijac/ali.jpg)
Lots more weirdness at http://www.igmusic.co.nz/albumcovers.html



Post Edited (08-22-05 22:21)

(http://www.ubu.com/outsiders/365/images/005b.jpg)
Little billy is a morman. He smiles but it is an empty smile, as the picture shows little Billy is looking through glass. Because he hasn't ever stepped outside of his farmhouse in Iowa. The raindrops obscure the tears in his eyes. Still..little Billy smiles..and he looks on, watching the world go by around him.

Song titles include:
The "What if" song
It's the Family
Someday I will be a Man
Eight Years Old
I want to be a mother (this song seems oddly chosen for a little 8 year old boy)
Daddy Aren't you Glad
Tell me About Heaven

If that isn't the saddest list of songs that little billy has to sing, i don't know what is.


And these ladies are frivelous, 80, and covered in sour cream!  (http://www.danacountryman.com/danacovers/CLFrivolousFive.jpg)
(One has to appreciate that it was actually someones job to spend hours alone in a room with these 5 naked senior citizens applying cream in all the wrong places)



Post Edited (08-22-05 23:05)

(http://www.igmusic.co.nz/graphics/albums/cool/fascination.jpg)

What organ is she fascinated with?

(http://www.igmusic.co.nz/graphics/albums/cool/freakout.jpg)

(http://www.igmusic.co.nz/graphics/albums/cool/sinthesized.jpg)


and the OTS himself!

(http://www.igmusic.co.nz/graphics/albums/weird/shatnerlive.jpg)

lol this is a funny thread.

Im suprised no one has said VAN HALEN 3. personally I think its  okay.

I would vote for anything by EMINEM or 50 CENT. theyre killing rap music....it used to be so good (i.e. DE LA SOUL, TRIBE CALLED QUEST, PHARCYDE etc...loads more). now its all crappy and those two guys seem to own the genre for some reason.

I also agree with a lot of what AndyC said.

(this is a great moviesite btw, I just found it today).

Hmm...I personally wouldn't call the following a BAD album(s), however, a group called "Me First and the Gimme Gimmes" cover lots of varying songs.....from Sinead O' Connor, to Vanessa Williams, James Taylor to R KELLY, etc.  I find them hilarious, and usually preferable to the original versions.  The boys in the band are all from other punk bands.  A male punk band covering "Natural Woman".  Most may find that offensive, I find it highly entertaining....

Ah, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, I like alot of their stuff.

There's alot of punk covers of songs, and there's quite a few good ones, ranging from Simon And Garfunkel's stuff [like Hazy Shade of Winter], to the Spice Girls song 'Wannabe' [much better better version] or even 'Cry Me A River' by Justin Timberlake.

Most are male singers, so it's especially entertaining to hear songs like 'Don't Cry for me Argentina' or a cover of a Kasey Chambers song with the lyrics 'am I not pretty enough.'

Those, I guess, are examples of mostly bad songs [well at least songs I don't particularly like] made good via the use of a cover.

"The Fabulous five"...i'm haveing a horriable "Golden Girls" flashback, and ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! Arghhh!

So....any current albums covers that fit that sick bill? Or has the expence of the music industry made that impossable?

Oh, my Ghod...Shatner's toupee....he killed and skinned a tribble, i KNOW he did...

My wife downloaded Crispin Glover doing "These Boots are Made for Walking"

I have never heard anything more disturbing in my life. He wines all through out the song. She then found a video for him doing a song called Clowns. I don't even know how to describe it. But let's just say he's right up there as the worst.

Speaking of These Boots are made for walking.....have you heard Jessica Simpson's version?  It's ....unspeakable.

As much as I don't mind watching her in that video, the song is horrible.

I was astounded when I went to see Wedding Crashers the other day when the trailer for Dukes of Hazzard came on...  astounded because it was the video clip for 'these boots' and I don't think it actually mentioned the movie once.  It was amazing: an almost packed cinema went quiet, thinking 'this isnt a trailer, what the f**k are we watching!' [or in other's cases, I guess, 'ooh hot'] and there was barely any of the talking that you'd usually get during some trailers.  Once it finished, there was a slight pause, followed by the noise of pretty much everybody in the cinema turning to the person next to them and asking 'what the?'

That was pretty damn wierd I must say...

I just found Glover's "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" and listened to it. Yikes! That beats out Pat Boone's metal album by a longshot. I may have to buy that album very soon. . .

I was looking through that Museum of Bad Album Covers website.
Hilarious!

One thing though, The Virgin Killers cover is number 1 in their Top 10........ewww!

I own the movie "The Stoned Age" on DVD and in it, several characters tell Lani (the girl on the hood of the car below) that she "looks like that chick on the Virgin Killers album."  (if you've seen it then you know what I'm talking about)

(http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6305468508.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg)

I've seen that movie 10 times but I'd never seen the actual Virgin Killers album cover until today.

Disturbing.



Post Edited (08-26-05 04:13)

odinn7 wrote:

> "My point is that , unlike movies, bad music is really in the
> ear of the beholder."
> I agree with that. I'm mostly a metal head (yes, even at my old
> age) and my favorite groups are Slayer and Overkill. Now, I
> believe there's a lot of talent involved with those 2 bands,
> but I know many people that tell me it's just noise. To each
> his/her own I guess.


Slayer=NO THANKS!
Overkill= Hell Yeah!

Sorry dude but I've never been able to get into Slayer.
I think they totally suck.
Overkill on the other hand....



Post Edited (08-26-05 07:55)

Obviously you're not angry and/or bitter enough.

Try older Slayer like Seasons in the Abyss...even my wife likes that one. Good stuff.



Post Edited (08-26-05 07:37)

There used to be a sight which listed "Screaming Lord Sutch and His Heavy Friends" as the worst LP ever. You could listen to tracks on this site. I listened and thought "I have to have that." I found it on CD (under the name "Smoke and Fire: a jam with Jimmy Page, Jeff Beck, and others"in the bargin bin of a music store in Branson, MO.

There is only about two tracks that are really bad. There rest kick hard.

The SUN Online just put out an article for some bad covers.

Check it out here (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2005380599,00.html)

If anyone is still interested in some truly wretched "music," I found some of the worst stuff I've ever heard here. (http://www.chunklet.com/issue_19_torture.cfm)

It's not albums; it's a collection of songs from various "artists" (if you loosen that term to include those whose musical/performance abilities have the sucking power of an industrial vacuum cleaner in a black hole). Well-known artists who grace the site include Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, Mitch Miller and Devo. Song titles include such gems as "Punk Side Story," "Also Sprach Kazoostra," "Macho Duck," and "(Tear Their) Syphilitic Vaginas to Pieces."