Print Page - WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 BAD MOVIES

I hate choosing the top 5 of anything, so I'll just go with five Bad movies that I quite enjoy, some for their stupidity, others for their stupidity... :-P

*Death Race 2000
*Gettin' Lucky
*Deathstalker
*Braindead
*Masters of the Universe

Of course this is a relatively tame list. I'm sure that some of the other members of this board can outline a few absolute crackers of a bad movie that achieves above and beyond [or far far below] the call of duty.

I had a little trouble breaking it down, so I went with six. I hope you don't mind.

1) Galaxy of Terror (1981) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082431/
An interesting footnote in some otherwise stellar careers. Featuring that guy who played Martin the Martian and the former Joanie Cunningham, it also starred that guy who would go on to produce The Red Shoe Diaries and the man who would be Freddy. It’s also interesting to note some of the influences that G.O.T. had on the future films of Unit Director James Cameron. And of course, Sid Haig really stands out in this movie, getting the second best scene next to Taaffe O’Connell's encounter with an amorous maggot.

2) Huntress: Spirit of the Night (1995) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113361/
A cheesy skin flick with no plot, but well made with a decent soundtrack by Fuzbee Morse. Mostly written off as a rip-off of the Cat People, I think it rips-off from dozens of other movies. Particularly, it seems to rip-off other rip-offs of The Cat People. Aside from Jenna Bodnar’s hefty rack, I always enjoy watching this movie because I’m always noticing a new point of inspiration where I find myself saying “Gee, I wonder where they got THAT idea from.”

3) Webb Wilder’s Corn Flicks (1992) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373768/
Rockin’ Rollin’ hillbilly Private Eye Webb Wilder exudes attitude whilst dealing with various eccentric characters. Pretty good rockabilly soundtrack.

4) Pendragon’s War of the Worlds
Uh… Well, it’s not quite as bad those AIP flicks by Larry Buchannan.

5) Lady Terminator (1988) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095483/
Starts out as a cheesy story about ghosts & possession, then for no apparent reason turns into a hilarious terminator rip-off.

6) Santa Claus (1959) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053241/
A truly warped idea of the jolly fat guy up north. No Elves; instead, Santa runs the world’s biggest sweat shop. With his state of the art surveillance equipment, he becomes a voyeuristic creep. And when he gets to earth, it’s Santa vs. Satan.

Well, not exactly everyone's cup of tea, hence my signature:

Post Edited (10-13-05 01:17)

Hey, you didn't mention "Showtime". Of course, it could be because it hardly qualifies as a movie. My list, anyway.

1) Duck soup. What? Not a bad movie? C'on, it makes no sense at all, but every minute is a laughing riot.

2) Screamers (1995), a quite clever Philip K. Dick adaptation starring Peter Weller.

3) Tank Girl. Mad Max spoof, one-liners galore and Malcolm McDowell. See my reader review here for more details.

4) Death Race 2000. Probably the closest thing to a Roadrunner cartoon on live action ever made. Plus it has a pre-buff Stallone.

5) Dagon. A great H.P. Lovecraft adaptation by the makers of "Re-animator".

My top lists usually change based on mood and right now it's 'horror' so here is what I'm going with now:

Maniac- A true work of art. This is now and will always be my favorite slasher movie. Basically, it's what all others should be judged by.

Dead Alive- Who couldn't like this movie? With such quotable quotes as: "I kick arse for the Lord!" and "Your mother ate my dog!", it's just too wonderful.

Dr. Butcher- There is just so much wrong with this movie that it's great. Aside from that, you can't beat killing a zombie with an outboard motor.

Hills Have Eyes- Michael Berryman at his finest(?).

Wrong Turn- Ok, it's not art but it is a fun film as far as I'm concerned. To me it's almost a throwback to what 70's and early 80's horror movies were all about. A group of disfigured freaks living in the woods just waiting to terrorize people and aside from that, Eliza looks hot in this one. I gotta ask, where could you go wrong?

odinn7 wrote:

> Wrong Turn- Ok, it's not art but it is a fun film as far
> as I'm concerned. To me it's almost a throwback to what 70's
> and early 80's horror movies were all about. A group of
> disfigured freaks living in the woods just waiting to terrorize
> people and aside from that, Eliza looks hot in this one. I
> gotta ask, where could you go wrong?
>

Plenty of Wrong in that film. Went and saw this at the cinemas with my girlfriend and ended up laughing the entire time [and probably annoying all the other people in the place, which really wasn't that many]

I thought it was absolutely terrible, and as such I couldn't help laughing at every single part of it: the wacky freak who keeps 'manically laughing' to inspire horror just seemed like comic relief and we kept laughing whenever he made an appearance.

I guess it's like you said: it was a throwback to 70's and 80's horror films. Just so silly... Gore effects were pretty nice though, I have to admit.

[and yes, Eliza did look hot, but I don't think it was enough to save the film for me]

After leaving the cinema I was on 'movie probation' since it was my choice and I, therefore, had lost a heap of points to the 'you're an idiot' section of our relationship. It took a while to redeem myself from that one.

Oh and Neville, I totally agree: Tank Girl ROCKS!

In no particular order:

Tank Girl (I've annoyed friends with this one several times, but it's one even my wife enjoys, and she doesn't usually like any of "my" movies).

Mom and Dad Save the World (Unfairly compared to movies like Dumb and Dumber or Meet the Stupids, this movie is fun and has the nice background message that "old married folk" can be very much in love even when they don't act like it on the surface).

Dead Alive (See all the above comments from others).

Josie and the p***ycats (Don't know why I like it, but I can't help but sit through the whole thing whenever it's on. Same thing with Undercover Brother).

Forbidden Zone (Totally whacked out odd-fest, but one I absolutely love).

1. The Stuff (1985) - I do believe any movie that features stuff sliming out of the ground and then markets it as "one lick is never enough" has got to be great! Check out the banner on this site. Plus writer/director Larry Cohen actually went on to have a successful career, writing both Phone Booth (2002) and Cellular (2004).

2. Space Mutiny (1988) - I did see this on Mst3K first, but I later got the original and it is so much funnier when you can make fun of the movie yourself. This movie has so much fodder for humor, my friends and I have been watching it regularly since high school.

3. Panther Squad (1984) - Sybil Danning stars as the head of an elite task force of women commandos in charge of retrieving a secret ray gun stolen by middle eastern terrorists. The ray gun turns you into a negative image and then you disappear. It's as cheesy as you can get.

4. Any movie where Tom Savini does the makeup, like Maniac, The Prowler, Day of the Dead, Friday the 13th, etc...

5. Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu (1982) - I made the mistake of becoming involved with Godfrey Ho's work a number of years ago. This was my first taste and it was poison. However I made it out alive of this so called "movie," and it left me with one message to the world-- do not watch Godfrey Ho movies. His style of moviemaking involves taking unreleased Phillipino or Thailandese movies and filming small sections of action involving American actors and linking them together as a semi-coherent story through dubbing and conspicuous editing. The result is mind numbing. Often his ninjas wear headbands with the words "NINJA" spelled out across the forehead. They wear white outfits. They disappear into thin air. Their weapons also disappear into thin air. Backflips are an effective way of avoiding bullets. Characters don't necessarily have to speak to each other to be good friends. The list goes on.

1.Roadhouse- I'm not a big fan, but even I have to give this one a nod. Nobody puts baby in the corner.

2. Army of Darkness- Sam Raimi+ Bruce Campbell= good action with a sense of humor.

3. Altered States- basically a contemporary remake of Monster On The Campus, but with trippy visuals... the movies of the fifties might be cooler if they were trippy (imagine Creature from the Black Lagoon with songs like Comfortably Numb on the soundtrack).

4. The Manster- Jekyll & Hyde, Nippon style. Chunky, alcoholic token American Larry Stanford comes to Japan, but since Raymond Burr beat him to the Godzilla phenom, Larry was forced to do a story on mad scientists... the rest is bad makeup effects and a fake head... see if you notice a scene that was later inspiration for a moment in Army of Darkness...

5. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla- The bulk of the old Godzilla films were rather haphazard, and most of the recent films (particularly the ones from the 1990's) are just too dull. But this 1970's grudgematch manages to capture imagination, action and just the right amount of pyro that makes the Godzilla franchise more than just a bizzare cultural export. "I would never have guessed that the monster could be Godzilla!" WTF?!?!

No order really. (a few minor spoilers)

The Toxic Avenger. It works well as (gross) humor but I a like it for action. The fight in the Taco Resturant is my favorite part.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: Awesome comedy horror. The clown's powers are so cool and I think the makers did a play on just about every one.

Basket Case: I saw this about two or three years ago but I remember loving it. So much gore. I really liked the way the father was killed , and it's kind of funny. I jumped out of my seat a bit when we got the first good look at the monster.

The Deadly Spawn: Great main monster movie, complete with blood and a good comenetary. I wanted to see it for about two years and the wait was worth it.

Now this last one I'm not so sure of.

Alien Warriror

I'm not sure if I totattly hate it because it's so dumb and done so poorly. Or if I'm fasinated by it's sheer crapness. Or I'm just dumbfounded by how stupid it is.

I mean I've watched it at least four times. No other movie this crappy has ever gotten that much attention from me.

Hearts and Armour - nothing beats a spaghetti crusade movie. How can a movie fail when there is a guy in it wearing an armoured chicken suit ? I can talk about this movie for hours....

She - when they say it's based on the E Rider Haggard novel, they forget the words 'extremely loosely'. Xenon is the best part of the movie.

The Raven - Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Jack Nicholson, all in the same movie. What more could you ask for?

The 7th voyage of Sinbad - cheesy acting, cheesy dialogue and a paper thin plot but cutting edge stop motion animation by the original master of the craft, Ray Harryhausen

The Magic Sword - cheese on a grand scale. Basil Rathbone must have been starving.

Just for fun, I though I'd come back & share my unwatchable "bottom" 5.

The Return of Captain Invincible (1983) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086189/
A rather unenthusiastic looking musical/comedy from Down Under, full of lousy jokes built around four letter words and poorly timed, uninspired musical numbers. Alan Arkin stars in the title role as a washed-up former superhero turned homeless alcoholic who's forced to come out of retirement when the president asks him to make good on a promise he made thirty years earlier. Christopher Lee, as always, really shines out as the evil Mr. Midnight, but ultimately his talents are wasted

The Wizard of Mars (1965) (aka Alien Massacre) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059920/
When their spaceship crashes, four astronauts wonder around in the Martian deserts for a couple of hours. Way, way, way more walking scenes than WOTW

Two Lane BlackTop (1971) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067893/
Two hippies in a suped up ’57 Chevy roam across the US while making their living off illegal drag races. Supposedly the seventies’ response to Easy Rider, this movie starts out as a rather pathetic study of bragging rights, only to descend into a study of whining and complaining. The sad and annoying result is that each of the characters are constantly chomping at the bit when they really don’t have anything to say

Sky Captain-. Sure, any given frame makes for a really cool desktop wallpaper, which is why I’m still surprised at just how disappointed I was. The action sequences are fleeting, few and far between, anything resembling character development comes about via way too many insider jokes, and I really found that grayish looking tone incredibly depressing. And as many have said, it could have been a little shorter with a little more emphasis on story.

A Certain Sacrifice (1985) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088896/
Whatever plot there is is completely inane, the directing is nonexistant, and all of the characters are incredibly irritating. For a lousy sixty minute movie, it really felt like five hours.

And of course, anything Larry Buchanan made for AIP

lilcerberus wrote:
> Sky Captain-.
>And as many have said, it could have been a little shorter with a little more
> emphasis on story.

I watched this a while ago with my girlfriend, and she said to me after about 30 minutes: 'what is going on?' merely because there was no plot that anyone could figure out...

Once it got rolling it wasn't too bad, I did appreciate what they were trying to do, but still, what a dissappointment...

So many bad movies to choose from...I'll just list 5 cheese-slingin movies I've recently seen or added to my collection (I just love when video rental places sell all their VHS for a $1 a piece).

The Black Hole
Robots with telepathy (when the plot demands it), the ridiculous heaven/hell parallel that really didn't make sense, and let's not forget V.I.N.cent's goofy eyes and even goofier victory "spin." Let's not forget Maximillion's special "attack" appendage from between his legs.

Santa with Muscles
Hulk Hogan plays an egotistical rich guy (that's really reaching for him ay?) who endures the amnesia angle (ugg) and tries to save some orphans. Never made it all the way through this movie but will try again for the 3rd time very soon. Be on the look out for two pre-"That 70s Show" characters.

Batman and Robin
Not the worst movie in the world but I take it rather personally being such a Batman fanboy. If you want to see classic characters completely raped by Joel Shumaker just refer to the following characters in this movie: Bane, Mr.Freeze, Poison Ivy, Batgirl, Batman...hell every single one of them. Heck the only character on par was Robin (I mean, how can you make Robin any cheesier I don't know). Joel - Mr. Freeze never ever jokes mmmkay.

Gigli (not part of my library but a friend foolishly bought it w/o watching it first)
Where to start, where to start ...mob bosses talking at length about criminal activity in broad daylight in the busy street, Ben's partial Italian accent, any of the dialog, J-Blow as a Zen-master hit-woman, the painful discussion about sexuality and sexual organs, and the attempted rainman singing songs more than a decade old.

oh the pain...

Dungeons and Dragons the Movie
Did these writers look at any of the source material at all? Glad they made D&D look even geekier to the masses. Funniest stuff: blue lipstick on one of the bad guys, the not-very dwarven dwarf, supposed thieves who make a lot of racket.

Post Edited (10-13-05 09:59)

Funny thing, but right after I posted my Bottom Five, I read a review of Sky Captain over at Eccentric Cinema.
According to the guys over there, Sky Captain is an homage to those old serials of the '30s & '40s, and as such, you're not supposed to watch the whole thing at once, but rather you're supposed to watch it in small doses of about 20 or 30 minutes a day over a span of several days.

(Sigh) Well, I'll try it again.
After all, it's still not quite as bad as Larry Buchanan's "It's Alive!"

Top five:

1) Sorority House Massacre II: Nighty Nightmare. The epitome of the slasher genre - great atmosphere, likable characters, cheesy as cheesy can be, and more boobies than the whole Friday the 13th franchise. Must be watched while drinking heavily.

2) Slumber Party Massacre. Same as above.

3) Jason X. Good characters, good action, high cheese factor, and spaceships! Who could ask for more.

4) LEXX 1.0: I Worship His Shadow. A bumbling security guard, a smokin' hot love slave, an assassin who's been dead for 2,000 years, and a robot head. And they're in control of the LEXX, the most powerful destructive force in the two universes. Just a fabulously creative movie.

5) Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity. Loved these characters, and good atmosphere too. And they're from BEYOND infinity - do you have any idea how far away that is?!?

Bottom 5:

1) Witchouse 2, Blood Coven. The absolute worst thing that could happen if a talentless hack ripped off the handheld camcorder gimmick from Blair Witch. This was so bad I actually went to the trouble of putting it in a box and sending it back to Amazon.com.

2) The Opponent. Imagine buying a DVD with a sexy picture of Erika Eleniak on the cover, with the promise of babe vs. babe boxing inside, then getting a Lifetime Movie of the Week instead. Just a tad disappointing.

3) The Wickeds. Quasi-comedic zombie movie where the characters spend the entire last half of the movie screaming at each other. How enjoyable. Filmed by someone who was falling down drunk.

4) Graduation Day. Troma slasher about some horribly unlikable people walking around being horribly unlikable.

5) Wild Things 2. I loved the first movie, it was very clever, stylish, and steamy. The second one was like watching trained chimps doing a remake of it.

Oh, my. This is a tough one. Here's my list:

1. Dark Star, the Spaced Out Spaceship. This is well-known to most of us -- it's so horrifically bad that it rolls over into watchably funny. Alien made out of a beachball, gets shot by a tranquilizer dart and pops. A crew member argues with a planetbuster nuke. What more could you want? And let's not forget that theme song, "Benson, Arizona!" "Let's get some music in here, Boiler." "Suuure thang!"

2. Howling II. My gawd. It has Sybill Danning and Christopher Reeve in it. Again, what more do I need to say? Remember the end credits? ("howl!" *rip!* "howl!" *rip!* "howl!" *rip rip!*)
(For the uninitiated, that was the sound of the end credits' music playing while a clip of Sybill repeatedly ripping off her own top is played about seventeen times.)

3. Dune. Yeah, the Dino de Laurentis version, baby. Bad, bad, bad. A horrific butchery of a great SF classic, chock full of cheesy and badly-delivered one-liners. "I WILL KILL HIM!!!!!" "The tooth.... remember the tooth!" and my favorite, "Put the pick in, Pete, and spin it round, real neat." And the movie is full of face closeups and internal dialogue, and is incredibly slow-paced. Awesomely bad.

4. Cave Dwellers. What a rotter of a movie. This one was so pathetically bad that my wife even enjoyed watching it, TWICE, with me. My favorite line, from the MST3k version: while Ator is swinging around on his made-from-deerskins hang glider, Servo says, "Oh, yeah, you're gonna be my regular Saturday night thing."

which is a nod to

5. Roadhouse. Pure cheese. You have the obligatory Swayze ass shot. You have "All My Exes Live in Texas." You have the timeless, transcendently bad line, "Pain don't hurt," and several minor constellations of other bad one-liners that would shine as their own novas in other, not as bad films.

I must admit my knowledge of obscure movies falls far behind that of many on the forum. My excuses if the choices seem obvious, but here goes, in no particular order

Freaks: The most unsettling film I've ever watched

Tremors: A classic monster feature. Possibly the monster movie with the tightest plot ever

Bubba Ho-Tep: Bruce Campbell is the King in a retirement home. He should get an oscar for this

Bad Taste: The vomit scene!!

Big Trouble in Little China: Kurt Russell, Ancient Chinese Magic and Kim Cattrall in her prime!

Ator the Fighting Eagle - Miles O'Keefe should have given up after playing Tarzan opposite Bo Derek as Jane. The plot is thinner than sweat and there is absolutely nothign to conenct one segment to another. It could be made of pieces of several different movies spliced together, for all I know.

The Terror - Filmed after the Raven was complete because the director still had some time left on the set, this is a movie any true Jack Nicholson fan denies the existance of.

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in The Hood - the only movie I have ever turned off after less than 20 minutes and proof that the Wayans brothers deserve nothing short of death by slow torture.

Dungeons & Dragons: The Movie - Jeremy Irons was so hungry that he had to chew on the scenery in addition to making this movie which featured acting that would have been boo'd off the stage during a grade school play. On a positive note, one of the Wayans brothers gets killed in in by a man with blue lips and red ears.

Highlander II: The Quickening/Highlander: Endgame - I'm not sure which was worse, making them aliens or putting that much pancake make-up on Christopher Lambert. Only the villians make these movies remotely watchable.

Post Edited (10-14-05 16:20)

Robot Monster: argueably my favorite movie. love the Ro-Man

Star-Wars Holiday Special: the ad's are really what make this, and though the movie has the side effect of hating wookies forever, i still love it.

Dino-Riders: Cheesy 80's toy promotion movie that i simmply adore.

Starchaser: the Legend of Orin: has both good old fashoined awsomeness and so-bad it's good awsomeness wrapped up in a movie that's a little disturbing to be a childrens movie.

Santa Claus: Santa Clause, satan, random sci-fi elements, and apparently large amounts of psychidelics all wrapped up in a movie thats WAY too disturbing to be a childrens movie.

and there you have it. Tetsuo is my favorite movie in a different catagory, seeing as i don't really consider it to be bad.

Badmovies.org Forum

Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: zombie no.one on October 11, 2005, 08:59:53 PM