This year blows

[HappyGilmore]

Appreciate the words, all.

I've fallen off the wagon, hard, and kept going.

I say sobriety :P

[HappyGilmore]

Past couple of months were hard, and been thinking of seeing a specialist to cope. Had thoughts of a potential suicide, and death in general. Not so much my own, but the idea of it.

Bought a case of beer and some 'stuff'. Not quite sure what's happened between 8:45 last night and 9:00 today.

I hate this.

[RCMerchant]

Every year sucks.
Or it dont.
It's state of mind.
I gave up-in 2008-when my wife died.
But I didnt give up.
Im still here.
You can always do it.
You ARE stronger than you thought.
You hate-HATE- being alive.
But-dont be a p***y.
LIVE.

[HappyGilmore]

RC- don't ever change.

Always hearing from you.

I may see a doctor.  Want to, at least.  Just not sure if I can pay for it. 

Only coming here makes me a tiny bit happy.  People here have been nice.

[zombie no.one]

sorry to hear that,best wishes happy  suicide's not worth it because then you'll never know if you would've turned it around, if you see what I mean

[HappyGilmore]

Things've gotten worse.  I dunno.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvJKVKglIRs

[RCMerchant]

Life is like a Bad Movie-it sucks-but dammit-gotta see how it ends.

[Rev. Powell]

I may see a doctor.  Want to, at least.  Just not sure if I can pay for it. 

Do.  Don't worry about $, it's worth any price.  There is someone out there who will accept a reduced rate to see patients who can't afford to pay---it happens all the time.  Here's a page with a few options for addiction services: http://www.choosehelp.com/pennsylvania/free-or-affordable-drug-alcohol-rehabs.

[RCMerchant]

Hang on,man. Ill personally find yer dead ass and kick you. So be good,brother.

[JaseSF]

For all the crap you're dealing with now, life still may well hold an awful lot of sweetness ahead for you. That's why one should never, ever quit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh7kGuBrm2I

[HappyGilmore]

Kinda feels like this sometimes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKNKVzVAqUk

[HappyGilmore]

I may see a doctor.  Want to, at least.  Just not sure if I can pay for it. 

Do.  Don't worry about $, it's worth any price.  There is someone out there who will accept a reduced rate to see patients who can't afford to pay---it happens all the time.  Here's a page with a few options for addiction services: http://www.choosehelp.com/pennsylvania/free-or-affordable-drug-alcohol-rehabs.

This is something I have to look into.  Although, in about a half hour, I'm leaving for a funeral.  Probably not gonna handle it well.

[Hammock Rider]

I've been there too. Lost jobs, family, friends, had heart surgery, massive debt and all kinds of fun stuff. Stick it out. Get yourself one handhold, then another, then another. Eventually you'll be back to somewhere you want to be. 

  Take the Rev's advice and seek professional help. There's nothing wrong with it. A ton of people on this forum have, including me and I think it's done me good. Just find someone you can work with and take it from there.

  I'm sure it's for you to see now but therre is far to much good stuff going on in life for you to throw it all away because of how you feel now.

  There is a popular phrase "Illegitimi non carborundum" which means " Don't let the B@$tards grind you down. It originated with the military in WW@ and it's good advice. It's also a song by the Toasters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSo-_TavE1U