It's friday where I am! So tell me your best drinking stories.

[Allhallowsday]

...I spent at least an hour in the bathroom, crapping in the can and ralfing on the floor.  My parents weren't really proud of me but they didn't panic too much because I almost never get drunk.  I met my older sister's husband-to-be for the first time in a rather bad state that night.  He turned out to be a real douchebag (something my sisters both seem to attract) so I don't care that much.

 Douchebag.  Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag.    I'm not sure what it means.  What does it mean?  Douchebag.  That word never entered my vocabulary, though hulking toads or toadies, and internet trolls with bald heads, long hair, and poisoned mean spirits (they're usually fanged) often use it.  Y'know bullies, and paranoid types.  But I don't know what it means.  
What's a douchebag?  

[andrehny]

I have so many drunk stories that's hard to remember just one.
Almost every single friday I get off work, go to a bar and come home vomiting.
One day, the guys of my band led a brandy bottle to our rehearsal.
After 2 hours of rock'n'roll and alcohol, I was possessed.
I was in front of an sports academy cursing the bodybuilders. When them they gave up to hit someone who was so drunk, I started to call him cowards. I f**king lost my mind! I don't like these muscle freaks, but never swear at them sober. I have sense of self-preservation! We'd have no chance against them. Would be 6 UFC-guys against 3 skinny-drunk-rockers. My friends decided the case through diplomacy.
I was remorseful about 90% of the things my friends said I did. I stopped drinking for a while, but soon returned.

[Living_Dead_Girl]

A lot off these stories invole people being so drunk. they forget only to be reminded my photo's or film off their drunkeness... Or an idiot who managed to remember.

I had an exsperience where everyone including me forgot. But no one filmed me, I was filming. My cometry was what gave people the impression I was very drunk... I go into the bathroom, after my friends run off into the night (the back yard) drunk and screaming. I go to the bathroom. And there is a cockrooch on the floor on it's back trying to get up, so it is spinning in circles! (Poor little diseased sucker!) So instead off crushing it or helping it. I zoomed in with my friends camera and started yelling "Break Dancing Cockrotch!!!" and kept zooming in and out making bet boxing sounds. The more it spun the more I kept going "It got the moves!! WHOOOO!!!!"

I forgot till I woke up and walked in my my friends viewing the evidence off my awesome drunkness! :D

Just thought I would mention that!

Also a girlfriend off mine decided she could fly. but fell off my balcony and broke my awesome outdoor tabble :-( I miss that tabble!!!!

That is enought stories.

[andrehny]

I zoomed in with my friends camera and started yelling "Break Dancing Cockrotch!!!" and kept zooming in and out making bet boxing sounds. The more it spun the more I kept going "It got the moves!! WHOOOO!!!!"

You should put it on YT!

[HappyGilmore]

I couldn't tell you much of my drinking stories, especially over the past few years.

Tends to happen when you've got a bit of a tolerance and also include 'other activities' to your drinking time.

The fact I haven't yet ended up in a hospital is mind boggling and frankly, it's a bad state when most everyone I know nowadays isn't even 30 and all have been to rehab or the morgue.

[Flick James]

...I spent at least an hour in the bathroom, crapping in the can and ralfing on the floor.  My parents weren't really proud of me but they didn't panic too much because I almost never get drunk.  I met my older sister's husband-to-be for the first time in a rather bad state that night.  He turned out to be a real douchebag (something my sisters both seem to attract) so I don't care that much.

 Douchebag.  Douchebag, douchebag, douchebag.    I'm not sure what it means.  What does it mean?  Douchebag.  That word never entered my vocabulary, though hulking toads or toadies, and internet trolls with bald heads, long hair, and poisoned mean spirits (they're usually fanged) often use it.  Y'know bullies, and paranoid types.  But I don't know what it means.  
What's a douchebag?  

According to wiktionary:

Noun
douchebag (plural douchebags)

1.  A sterile container which holds the fluid used for giving a vaginal douche.
2.  (US, slang) A jerk; a mean or rude person; someone seen as being arrogant or obnoxious.
That douchebag ruined my shrimp cocktail.
Why doesn't that guy get a job? He's a regular douchebag.

*2006, Jeffrey Rowland, Overcompensating: Donald Trump Is a Gigantic Douchebag
JEFFREY: Donald Trump is like some new species of douchebag that science hasn't discovered yet.

Derived terms:
douchebaggery

(slang) Blatant stupidity, ignorance, or insolence.




May I be of further assistance?

[The Burgomaster]

* One time (but not at band camp), we had a party at my friend Rich's house.  We brought one of those round, plastic swimming pools for little kids into the kitchen and filled it up with various liquors, like a giant scorpion bowl.  Then we stuck our faces in it and just sucked up the liquor.  At one point, we decided it would be a good idea to sprinkle Little Friskies cat food into the pool.  And we sucked that up too.

* One time we got drunk and peed in my friend's mother's clothes dryer.

* We had a tradition of doing "360s" in restrooms.  A 360 is when you stand in front of a urinal and start to urinate.  Then you spin around and continue to pee on the floor and walls.  The goal is to see who can spin around the most times before their pee runs out.  This was juvenile and disgusting, so we stopped doing it when we were around 30 years old.

[andrehny]

* We had a tradition of doing "360s" in restrooms.  A 360 is when you stand in front of a urinal and start to urinate.  Then you spin around and continue to pee on the floor and walls.  The goal is to see who can spin around the most times before their pee runs out.  This was juvenile and disgusting, so we stopped doing it when we were around 30 years old.

if I don't like the service of the place, I also do this.

I also have the habit of p**s in the washbasin, too lazy to get flushing.

after some beers, it's just water, you know...

[AndyC]

I once went to a stag party with some friends when I was 18. I should mention that at 18, I was quite into lifting weights and running, and tended to show off with feats of strength and such when I got drunk.

The stag was at a "rod and gun" club, which was pretty far out of the way. I started out with a few beers, then rye, then really whatever was handy, often doubles. Filled up on sandwiches full of summer sausage and onions and cheese. Never stopped drinking, so by the end of the night I was pretty sloshed. But I had even more in me than I'd figured. Turns out a friend of mine, who was tending bar, decided that last call was approaching, and there was a lot of open booze left. So, he was being extra generous with his friends. Three or four shots per drink generous.

This same friend also happened to be our DD, so we were all on our way home in his car. As the story goes, I told him to pull over so I could puke. Then I got out of the car and took off running across somebody's farm until I smacked into the front of the house. They dragged me back to the car and we continued... until I had to puke again. Then I tried to run, but underestimated the depth of the ditch (it was dark and the grass was long). From their point of view, it was like I'd disappeared down a trap door or something. On yet another stop (the guy loved his car, and would never chance someone actually puking in it), I got out, took off across a plowed field, tripped over a furrow and landed face-down in the dirt. To my knowledge, I still hadn't actually puked yet. Finally, just as we were turning onto my street, I asked to get out again and this time everything came up on the front steps of a church, just in time for Sunday morning.

My own memory is very sketchy for the period between last call and waking up on my still-made bed, fully clothed, covered in dirt and grass stains, and feeling very sore and hungover.

[Trevor]

I spent at least an hour in the bathroom, crapping in the can and ralfing on the floor. 

At least it wasn't the other way around. 

I don't drink anything much other than soft drinks, coffee, juice, etc but I do enjoy a beer (one) now and again.