Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...

[Derf]

14 1/2. A former Olympic swimmer who had lost his arms and legs was among the victims. His name was Bob.


What price can you place on Freedom?

[Rev. Powell]

It's 50% off this week at crazy Tom Paine's House of Liberty - one coupon per customer, some restrictions apply. Freedom not available in all jurisdictions, check local regulations.

Do you like movies about gladiators?

[Flangepart]

Only if they star Peter Graves.

How long did it actually take Michael to row the boat ashore?

[Derf]

3 hours, 22 minutes, 14.237 seconds, a Sea of Galilee record that stood for 123 years.



I got a hankerin'. Does anyone have a cure?

[Flangepart]

I have a Kleenex, will that help?

Just what was Mr. Cleever a Ward of?

[Derf]

Of Burt Ward, TV's Robin. It all started when Ward Cleaver was drunk and had an illicit tryst with Liza Minelli. Or maybe it was a peacock. Nobody remembers. And yes, alcohol was involved.



What animal(s) was(were) involved in YOUR birth?

[Flangepart]

Godzilla...My folks were married in 54. I was born in 56...coincidence?


The Jabberwock vs. Saquach...who would win?

[Derf]

In a fight, probably the Jabberwock, since Sasquatches are not known for carrying vorpal blades. At hide and seek, the Sasquatch would win hands down.




What would happen if two kissing fish wearing braces decided to make out?

[claws]

They would have lots of babies?

am I out of shape if a turtle can outrun me?

[Svengoolie 3]

No,  it means you're in shape.  Bad shape.

Does godzilla ever have to take a dump?

[pacman000]

He did around '98.

Can I have a castle on a cloud?