Who Would Win This Fight?

[The Conqueroo]

Who do you think would win a fight between "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"(Sarah Michelle Gellar,not Kristy Swanson)and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"(Melissa Joan Hart)? "Quick Man!!Cling Tightly To My Clenched Buttocks!!"-'Powdered Toast Man'from "Ren&Stimpy".

[ulthar]

Did Sabrina ever do anything beside sit on her bed in teen angst talking to her cat?  I think those are two very different characters.

[daveblackeye15]

Now if Malissa Joan Hart were playing as her first character, Clarrisa Darling then she'd deffintly beat Buffy.

Because first she'd make a game on her computer, which would help demonstrate how to beat Buffy. Then they have the fight however Sam leaps into Clarrisa's a la ladder (like he does every episode) and suprise attacks Buffy, thus the two beat her.

That's how it would go, but Buffy vs. Sabrina would be Buffy winning.

[plan9superfan]

How abould  WWWF Grudge Match's very own "Both mangled and killed"?

[The Conqueroo]

Okay.Let's do the Math.Sabrina Spellman.Advanteges:Well,she is a witch after all,meaning she can turn Buffy into anything she wants to with just one little snap of the finger.Plus,her Aunts Hilda and Zelda could put the moves on Giles.Disadvanteges:Salem the Talking Cat;the fact that she made a Movie for 20th Century Fox in the 90's called "Drive Me Crazy"which died a slow,painful boring death at the Box Office;she did a "Cheesecake"Photo Shot for Maxim Magazine that got the good folks at Archie Comix in a snit!!Buffy Somers.Adavanteges:Very Athletic.Has a network of friends to watch her back.Played Erica Kane's(Susan Lucci)Daughter on "All My Children".There were Two Buffys:Sara Michelle Gellar and Kristry Swanson.Buffy Was A Movie Then A Series.Disadvanteges:She Too Starred in a Movie For Fox Called "Simply Irresistible"That Also Died At The Box Office.(Both Their Movies Can Be Found In The Bargain Bin At WalMart!!);She Also Starred in both "Scooby Doo"Movies(Okay.The First One Wassn't Too Bad!!);Costars David Boraenz and Allyson Hannigan Are Both Back On TV With Kinda SoSo Shows:David Boreanz in the "CSI"Wannabe 'Bones'on FOX and Allyson in "How I Met Your Mother"on CBS.On The Other Hand:Sarah Michelle Gellar Did Voiceovers on Two of FOX's Hit Anuimated Series.On "King of the Hill",she played Bobby's Vegetarian Girlfriend who broke hios heart so to get back at her,he eats a 72 Ounce Steak in front of her.On "The Simpsons"she played a Juvenile Delinquent who got Bart in trouble.All in all,I'd go with Buffy Somers. "OH MY GOD!!YOU DRANK KENNY!!"."NO WAY!!"

[plan9superfan]

Oh, you want a complete, WWWF-like fighht analisys?

Well, Sabrina wins:

1-Mellissa Joan Hart can't act, but at least she knows that and let her career die after "Sabrina the Teenage Witch"

Sarah Michelle "Keanu Reeves with tits" Gellar, on the other hand, has so much of an ego that she bombards us with movie after movie even if she is as wooden as an oak.

2-Sarah Michelle Gellar is a scrawny little b***h, but she will still feel the need to fist-fight Sabrina. Sabrina would just flick her finger and BAM! Buffy is a toad.

3-When push comes to shove, Sabrina can call-in Harry Potter and Samantha Stephens for help.

OTOH, all the other vampire hunters HATE Buffy for macking a mockery out of their jobs and will either not join in at all, or join Sabrina's side.

4-Sabrina also has Salem and her two aunts, Hilda and Zelda, both of whom have enough magic to completely delete Buffy out of existance.

OTOH Willow, Buffy's big gun, is a wussy, wimpy little coqward that will run away at the sign of trouble (if she would be as powerful as the fanboys THINK she is, she would fight off the Sunnydale demons all by herself).

And with Willow gone, who's next? Xander,Dawn or Giles? Please. Hilda and Zelda would make mincemeat out of them (and Zelda's academic knowledge far surpasses that of Giles)

4-Buffy can call Daddy Whedon to help her (ie. tell her exactly what to do and not to do), but then Sabrina will call the entire staff of Nickelodeon (and, by association, the staff of MTV AND Paramount pictures) and they will tear Joss llimb by limb

5-magic beats "slayer powers" any day of the week. What the hell are "slayer powers"anyway? Are we to believe Sarah is a competent fighter just because some stupid cult leader eecided to rape some cavewoman? Does that make ANY sense at all?

Magic has no name or explanation, and you can do ANYTHING with it.

6-Melissa was in "Not Another Teen Movie", therefore gaining the mightiest of all allies: MR. T!

"I pity the slayer fool that messes with Sabrina!"

7-And, of course, with SMG starring in American McGee's "Alice", now she has BOTH Lewis Carroll and the REAL Alice gunning for her for ruining their good name.

And let's not forget that the REAL Daphne Blake is still p**sed-off about that "Scooby-Doo" debacle.

[The Conqueroo]

Yeah,But Velma(Linda Cardenelli)Not Only Played Reese Witherspoon's College Friend in "Legally Blonde",She Wound Up on "ER"As A Single Mom Turned Doctor!!Of Course Witherspoon Went On To Be Nominated For An Oscar For Playing June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line"with Jaquin Phoenix.Of Course,I'm Waiting For The X Rated Version "Wack the Line":The Story of Porn Stars Johnny Snatch and Poon Carter.With Jennifer Isitin;Angelina Holie and Kelsey Grabherr as Ebeneezer Screw!!

[The Conqueroo]

Yeah,but remember that Sarah can get all the 20th Century Fox Animated Characters on her side,plus she can get Barney(Neil Patrick Harris)from "How I Met Your Mother"to put the moves on Hilda and Zelda.Plus I don't think Samantha Stevens wants to get involved after Last Year's SoSo Big Scfreen Version of "Bewitched"!!Also,Mr.T had his heyday in the 80's when he nearly whoooped Rocky Balboa then went on tio star in "The ATeam".With the exception of "Not Another Teen Movie"the last time I saw Mr.T.on anything was on one of those very bad "Left Behind"Movies they show on Friday and Saturday Nights on TBN!!Even if Sabrina does whip her,remember Willow can bring her back from the dead!!If nothing else,she can get Kristy Swanson(The Original Buffy)to leave her gig on "Skating While Animals Attack Washed Up Celebrities On Ice"and help her defeat Sabrina!!If nothing else,Alyson Hannigan can tell them how "One Time At Band Camp.I Stuck My Flute Up My You Know What!!"while Dr.Richard and The One Armed Man Battle it out!!

[plan9superfan]

1-Calm down. Pause. Maybe take a Zeldox pill.And stop drinking coffee.

2-Why the hell would SMG had all the 20th Century Fox characters on her side?

She does one GUEST-STAR APPEREANCE on "The Simpsons" and now she rules over Matt Groening!? WTF?

3-You make a good point about the "Bewitched" movie, but that still leaves Sabrina with Harry Potter on her side.

4-Kirsty Swanson would more likely beat the s**t out of Srah Michelle Gellar for ruining her good name.

5-I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is weak! Haven't you read all those "Mr. T vs" webcomics, sucka?

6-Surely Hilda and Zelda can make some spell that could make Willow's resurrection spell backfire.

7-Neil Patrick Harris IS horny, but he's after 20/30s chicks, not middle-aged chicks like Hilda and Zelda.

And both of them would reject their advances anyway.

8-If Melissa Joan Hart was in a movie like "Not Another Teen Movie",she's NOT gonna be grossed out by Alysson Hannigan's dirty sex stories.

[The Conqueroo]

Actually,Harry's Too Busy Trying To Get Into Hermione's Pants To Help Sabrina!!Well,Sarah Was Also On King Of The hill As Well.She Could Always Get Dang Ol'Boomhauer or John Redcorn To Put The Moves on Hilda and Zelda,While N.P.H.Puts The Moves On Sabrina!!Or Bill Deautrive Could Try To Put The Moves on Hilda and Zelda Only To Have Them Reject Him!!Finally,Lindsay Lohan Could Arrive in "Herbie",Fully Loaded!!(L.Lohan.Not Herbie.).

[plan9superfan]

1-"Herbie: Fully Loaded"? Where the hell did that come from?

And wouldn't Herbie be too busy kicking Lindsay Lohan's ass for ruining his good name to bother jion in the fight?

2-Once again, just because she GUEST-STARRED in an episode of "King of the Hill" doesn't mean that  she has them at her command.

But if you are getting into guest-star territory, Melissa can call-in Terry McGinnis from "Batman Beyond" PLUS all of the villains from that series (and that includes some old-school Batman villains like The Joker, Harley Quinn and Mr. Freeze).

I definetly think Terry can kick the asses of the retarded slobs from "King of the Hill".

And also, "Sabrina the Animated Series" is one of the top shows on the Disney Channel, so Melissa can just call the entire Disney Channel roster to help her (and that includes Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, the guests from House of Mouse and Raven) all of whom can kick the asses of BOTH neil Patrick Harris and The Simpsons.

3-You got it all wrong, RON WEASLEY is the one trying to get in Hermione Granger's pants.

Harry is compeletely focused.

[akiratubo]

Why would they fight?

[dean]

I don't know about anyone else, but reading this thread is like a 'who would win in a fight' and is pretty damn funny.  And kind of psycho too, but nevertheless...

Anywho.  Don't let me stop you guys; your arguments are just the kind of crazy I needed today.

[The Conqueroo]

Well,I don't really know if they'd actually get into a knock down drag out brawl,but it'd be interesting to see what'd happen if a Vampire Slayer and a Teenage Witch ever got into it!!

[The Conqueroo]

Then Bruce Willis Would Show Up With Guns Blazing Yelling "Yippie KiYay Pamela Martha Focker!!"As Would Will Smith Yelling "AW HELL NAW!!!". Okay.Enough About Whether "Buffy Somers"could Beat Up "Sabrina Spellman".Here's The Big Fight of the Week:Who Would Win In  A Fight Between Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Joile??