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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  2 Fast 2 Furious and Combustion « previous next »
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Author Topic: 2 Fast 2 Furious and Combustion  (Read 2401 times)
ulthar
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« on: May 30, 2006, 01:44:52 PM »

Here are a some comments on a couple of recent viewings:

2 Fast 2 Furious

I caught this on FOX and what a complete, TOTAL waste of time.  Arrrggh.  Forget the bad effects, the stupid story idea, small cars shifting dozens of times 0-100 mph, etc.  There was one major plot point I just could not get my head around: the girl undercover cop was suspected as being 'turned' by the bad guy, yet they trusted her to place additional undercover folks into the bad guy organization?  Then, they kept teasing her about possibly being turned?  Oh man.

Also, in reference to the 'where did it begin' thread, what is with all these drug-lord, gangster type movies trying to recreate the horror of the chainsaw scene in SCARFACE?  Like most 'worst bad guy' wannabes, this one falls flat with a rat eating through some guy's gut.  Riiiiight.

I could tell the race scenes were supposed to have me on the edge of my seat, but I just did not care.  The editing and camera work fell far short of the mark - quick edits and wierd camera panning do not suspense/tension make.  Cap that with NONE of the characters were remotely likable and this movie is the opposite of engaging.  I wished they all would die so there would be no hope of yet another sequal.  Alas, I see there is a THIRD pos in this story line coming soon to a theatre near me.

1 of 5, and that one only for them recognizing a big block American muscle car WOULD be faster than a crappy little rice burner with an idiotic spoiler on the trunk.

COMBUSTION

This is a made for tv 'disaster' flick I got from Netflix.  Two words: snoo-zer.  I fell asleep on TWO different nights while trying to watch it, and it is only 97 minutes.  The premise involves Michael Gross (a pretty decent bad guy, btw) trying to extract oil from under a town by pumping pressurized steam into a depleted oil well.  The result: random fires throughout the town.

Never mind that this is a very common technique of getting oil out of the ground, this flick was falling all over it's political message.  And falling in a very ham-handed, clumsy way, and they really should have checked their physics before using lines like "it's basic physics: heat rises."  More on this in a bit.  Oh yeah, never mind that Michael Gross mentioned getting about 1000 barrels out of the site, which is, I believe, way too tiny an amount for anyone to bother with.  What is 1000 barrels anyway? Four semi tanker trucks?

The town seemed to have no one in it except the main characters and a very few extras.  This was supposed to be this really big deal, all the fires and stuff. But really, who would care in a town with 15 people?

Now about the heat rises remark.  This really bugged me.  Well, first, we have exploding gas with our main character RUNNING from the explosion front, in rubber boots with some protective clothing on.  A detonation front travels over 650 mph (some as high as 18,000 mph) and deflagrations are not much slower, so this type of effect is one of my pet peeves.  We see it all the time - hero characters leaping ahead of an explosion.  Sorry, but that detonation shock front would be turning your insides into jelly since it is moving about 100 times faster than you can jump and the pressure in the shock is about 35,000 times normal atmospheric pressure.

But, after he (and the chick he was saving) outran the explosion, they 'hid' just below and to the 'left' of an open manhole.  When I say just to the left, I mean about 2 ft, with the fireball coming from the right.  The explosion front/fireball catches up to them, but does not penetrate the 2 ft to them.  Instead, it shoots up the manhole.  It was at this point our hero tells the lady "basic physics: heat rises."  Ah-hem.  I think he needs to recheck his convection rate vs. the propagation rate of that fireball.

Also, about basic physics, there was a scene where I THINK a metal door closing against its metal doorjam sparked an explosion.  Ummm, so how is the door and the doorjam at different potentials?  HOW??  

I'd give COMBUSTION about 2 maybe 2.5 out of 5; if you are in the mood for low-grade made-for-tv pseudo disaster fare, give it a shot.  Just don't expect much.
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Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
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Just Plain Horse
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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2006, 09:03:02 AM »

Hah! I caught 2 Fast Bicurious at my ex's family get together around christmas last year. That, coupled with the Vin "shaved caveman" Diesel prequel gave me something to talk to the fam about without any uncomfortable silences... I suppose that's as close to praise as either of these movies are going to get from me. Who'd of thought this crap could be good for something?
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Scottie
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« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2006, 09:41:32 AM »

Is 2 Fast such and such the movie where two girls fight each other with swords on motorcycles while enormous PEPSI and MOUTAIN DEW signs in the background scream where funding for the movie came from? If so, I can't waiit to soak in the cheese. I wonder who in the distribution firms of the world think these kinds of movies are going to attract enough of an audience to make their money back. If they think they can, I have to wonder what kind of crap they rejected to find these jewels.
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Just Plain Horse
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« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2006, 08:17:55 AM »

Scottie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is 2 Fast such and such the movie where two girls
> fight each other with swords on motorcycles while
> enormous PEPSI and MOUTAIN DEW signs in the
> background scream where funding for the movie came
> from? If so, I can't waiit to soak in the cheese.
> I wonder who in the distribution firms of the
> world think these kinds of movies are going to
> attract enough of an audience to make their money
> back. If they think they can, I have to wonder
> what kind of crap they rejected to find these
> jewels.

ON the OT:
Soda commercials always leave me stunned... who the hell ever dances around their apartment while drinking a diet soda?

Why do soda companies always try to subconsciously encourage us to wiggle and shake our bodies while drinking a carbonated beverage? Ever try running after drinking a soda?
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ulthar
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« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2006, 08:40:23 AM »

For that matter, who drinks soda after a very hot exertion?  Carbonated sugar water is the last thing I want when I am very hot and very thirsty.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

--Real Genius
Just Plain Horse
Bad Movie Lover
***

Karma: 9
Posts: 567


« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2006, 08:45:39 AM »

Amen, I mostly use it to stay awake late at night... or to annoy people with loud belching.

When's the last time you saw runners grabbing Pepsi during their 4K run?
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akiratubo
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« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2006, 03:40:59 AM »

ulthar Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For that matter, who drinks soda after a very hot
> exertion?  Carbonated sugar water is the last
> thing I want when I am very hot and very thirsty.

Oh, come on.  Nothing quenches thirst like refreshing sugar water!

Sarcasm aside, have you ever tried the Japanese drink Ramune?  That stuff is pure sugar!  I'd swear it's just bottled high-fructose corn syrup.  I took one sip and almost puked.
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Neville
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« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2006, 07:50:48 AM »

Scottie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is 2 Fast such and such the movie where two girls
> fight each other with swords on motorcycles while
> enormous PEPSI and MOUTAIN DEW signs in the
> background scream where funding for the movie came
> from? If so, I can't waiit to soak in the cheese.
> I wonder who in the distribution firms of the
> world think these kinds of movies are going to
> attract enough of an audience to make their money
> back. If they think they can, I have to wonder
> what kind of crap they rejected to find these
> jewels.

That sounds more like "Torque" or any of the "Charlie's Angels" movies to me. "Torque" is specially escruciating, since it was designed as a "Fast and the Furious" with bikes.
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Due to the horrifying nature of this film, no one will be admitted to the theatre.
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