A video game movie that doesn't suck

[dean]

Interestingly enough a friend of mine [who is a female] happens to like DOA the games, so just because they are obviously marketed otherwise doesn't mean that every single woman is going to shout at the screen and say how bad a game it is because it objectifies women [which it obviously does].

That being said, I don't hold much hope for the movie, and I'm pretty sure it's just an excuse to get T&A on the screen as much as possible.

[Inyarear]

For that matter, objectification of women in games doesn't strike me as any huge threat to women or assault on their personal dignity either. What it does strike me as is rather stupid: just as an anime isn't much of an anime if it's all about fanservice, a game isn't much of a game if it's all about T&A. If the game has nothing whatsoever to recommend it to the intellect, you KNOW the movie isn't going to be any good.

Of course, the same people who are counting on fourteen-year-olds to play this game one-handed are probably counting on them to watch this movie no-handed, if you know what I mean.

[Jamtoy]

Parasite Eve was a book before it became a video game.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1932234195/sr=8-2/qid=1152539540/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-8856295-2996048?ie=UTF8

It was made into a movie in Japan

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005JIX6/qid=1152539647/sr=8-8/ref=pd_bbs_8/002-8856295-2996048?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=404272

I have the DVD with english subtitles.  It is VERY good from a horror standpoint.  There is very little gore, but a lot up build up of situations and plot elements.  It has a few B-Movie moments, but the story is really developed.

It could, I think, survive an American treatment similar to The Ring.

[Shadowphile]

A friend of mine describes video game animators as 'lonely men chained in basement cubicles'.  Given the increase in size and gravity resistance of the breast in most animated characters, I can't argue with him....

I mean hell, just look at the Charlies Angel's video game for PS2.  You know, the one they called Final Fantasy X2.  One of the characters has a camel toe for crying out loud. Try kicking ass and taking names wearing an outfit that tight....

[Inyarear]

Yeah, those anti-gravity breasts really say it all for those guys, don't they? Personally, I think a girl with well-proportioned breasts is prettier than one whose breasts each qualify for their own zip code, and I am one of those lonely gamers the makers have in their target audience.

Frankly, I think video game movies ought to capitalize on our loneliness instead of trying to alleviate it with unrealistically beautiful women. I think at least one video game movie ought to have a story in which the heroine is lean and mean with minimal well-proportioned breasts, there are no guys around to admire her body anyway, and there's no one to hear her scream when she gets into a tight spot. Guardian Legend from the 8-bit Nintendo was like that; the hero might be a girl in a bikini, but I didn't really notice that much until I won and saw a close-up shot of her at the end. Meanwhile, she's wandering around an alien planet completely alone (the sentient population having been wiped out) with no one to converse with her except some blobby-looking robotic things.

If they ever made a movie out of that, it could be an excellent kind of reversal fantasy: let the pretty girl be the lone warrior who can do things no one else even dares to attempt, but is denied acceptance and integration into society because of those very abilities. Maybe she could be something like the Psyche of Greek mythology, who was so stunningly beautiful that no man thought he stood any chance of winning her hand. (Thus, she ended up all alone until Cupid took an interest in her.) A girl with metallic wings on her back as portrayed in Guardian Legend might be so cybernetically enhanced that she's too smart and powerful for any ordinary guy to think he stands any chance with her, however desirable she might be. The last scene in the movie could portray the heroine's homecoming to the cheering and applause of all the grateful peoples of the world--but to no husband, no family, no boyfriend, not even so much as a friendly pet, ending an otherwise upbeat flick on a very downbeat note.

[Neon Noodle]

Well........Most of what I could say has already been said.
The Resident Evil movies are pure crap, 'nuff said on that.
The choices for the games have to be good choices, as folks have said.

I just read that they are making a video game adaptation to film for the game HITMAN.

Did they hire Jason Statham, which would have been the obvious choice in my mind?

Noooooo.....they got Vin Diesel as the main character.

This alone could wreck the movie before it even begins. He doesn't look, talk, walk or react like the main character in the game.

[Inyarear]

>Noooooo.....they got Vin Diesel as the main character.

As noted in "CRAP" (Supposedly by 50 Cent) by MadTV:

2 Fast 2 Furious was a waste of 90 minutes;
The only good thing is Vin Diesel wasn't in it.

[BTM]

I don't know, me I thought Mortal Kombat (the first one) wasn't too bad.  I mean, yeah, it was just a fighting movie with the occasional otherwordly move throw in, but still, it did what it very well.  

I guess the main thing is not have Uwe Boll involved, and just go with the video game's premise rather than trying to up (or down) grade it.  

I mean, if you gonna make a movie based on a fighting game, fine, have it be an action packed fighting movie.  If you gonna make a movie about monsters coming up from hell, make it about monsters from hell.  If the game itself didn't have a "deep" plot, then don't try to cook up one.

Haven't seen Silent Hill, so I can't render a verdict on that one yet.  Although the too biggest things I hear is that it was too long (and at over two hours, that might be true) and it didn't make any sense (course, the games THEMSELVES don't completely make sense, so that's to be expected.)  

Mike

[BTM]

Speaking of video game movies, what did you guys think of Final Fantasy Advant Children?  It's based on the Final Fantasy VII (which I told the ending of the game left the fate of many of the characters in doubt.)

Me, I played FFVII but only got like a third of the way through the game.  (Boy, sure did love that Tifa though... hehehe...)

[Amanda]

Well, I'm going to make mention of a lot of these posts here...

I'm a girl.  *checking to make sure*  Yep, girl.  I like the DOA games, just like I like freakin Outlaw Golf.  The jiggle doesn't bother me because......it's a videogame.  I think any girl that gets all upset and p**sed off because her boyfriend/husband/best male buddy thinks Lara Croft is one fine piece of ass needs to grow up and find something real to get worked up about.

Sure, there's "objectification of women" in movies, music, games.  But there is of men too.  Vin Diesel, The Rock, Jason Statham (thank you GOD.)  They're pieces of meat.  Trust me, I'm NOT complaining.  I just cannot get worked up about boobies bouncing on my husbands video games.  Now, if the husband were to scream out said video vixen's name...well.  Then there may be some asskicking, or, in the vein of one good turn deserves another, I could just do the same.  

I happen to like the Resident Evil movies, rather a lot.  I also really liked Doom.  Silent Hill, eh, not so much, but I didn't hate it either.  Disappointed, yesh, but not to the point of bemoaning my loss of two hours and ten bucks.   The best thing to do when going from Video game to big screen is to...NOT LET UWE BOLL NEAR THE FREAKIN THING.  Didn't he challenge his naysayers to a fist fight?  But, limited it to only certain sized men?  I read that somewhere.  Personally, I'd love the opportunity to beat his ass with a chair or whatever else I could get my hands on, but.....I'm not a certain sized man.  

However much I loathe the man, there was one redeeming quality to Alone in the Dark.  Awesome awesome soundtrack.

[Inyarear]

I never saw Advent Children myself, and I haven't played the game either, so I can't really help you there.

I don't believe a movie made from a game has to be as lowbrow as its origins necessarily, but trying to make the movie anything other than what the game is definitely won't improve it. Lowbrow or highbrow, the movie should expand on whatever's already in the game, not shoehorn in some irrelevant agenda. A film made from Half-Life could have been about the horrors of genetic tinkering by aliens and such, but that doesn't work for a film made from Doom: Doom's about the horrors of Hell. These games play similarly, but they're about two completely different subjects, and ne'er the twain shall meet. Whether you just want to see lots of gratuitously violent scenes of guys blazing away at monsters or you want to find some all-important meaning to all this violence, the film should always stick to the original premise.

Having a smart and powerful editor probably makes a big difference too: if the editor at the studio had enough power over the production, he could strongarm the director into shooting all the scenes that fit and cutting out all of the irrelevant stuff: "What the hell is this doing in here? We're doing a car chase movie, not a feminist screed! It's out! And what's this joke doing in here? I don't remember seeing that in the script. I don't care how much you hate Bush! Bush jokes are lame! That scene's out! Now what's this? Since when do we need 40 minutes of acrobatic road rage to kill off one stupid driver!? Here, I'll cut it down to 2 minutes: take this shot and this shot. The rest is out. What's this guy doing in here? What's he got to do with anything? Your hick cousin wanted a part, huh? Well he's fired! This scene is out!"

If the film's any good, a good editor could help trim it down until there's nothing but the good stuff, and if it's no good at all, a good editor might have the sense to shut down the production altogether and cancel the film... as should have happened to the Super Mario Brothers movie.

[Inyarear]

Again, "objectification" doesn't bother me; it's just stupid, that's all. Films that spend a lot of time showing off Vin Diesel and The Rock won't get me hollering about matriarchal oppression, but if that's all they're about, you'll probably see me sitting there drumming my fingers on the arm rest, going "When's it get good!?"

You're spending TEN BUCKS a shot on these flicks? Ai yi yi, what a rip-off! It's a pity you don't live around here: in my town, there's a drive-in theater that charges five dollars a head to see two movies. For real marathoners, they'll sometimes show as many as three films on the weekend for the money. With that arrangement, you can get your money's worth or die trying.

Speaking of your money's worth, if the Alone In The Dark soundtrack's as good as you say, I guess the sensible thing to do would be to tell all your friends to avoid the film like the plague and buy the CD instead. "You get what you pay for" is the guiding principle of the seller as well as the buyer. We appreciate your warning.

[dean]

Never played FF7 but watched the movie and enjoyed it, though it's the type of movie where you really have to be a fan of the source to really love it I'd imagine.  What was handy though was the dvd extras had clips from the game to catch people up on the important plot points which was handy.

The animation was great, but the plot was kind of thin, though it's lots of fun so its a matter of personal choice I guess...

[Amanda]

I spend ten bucks WITH a soda.  

The soundtrack is only good if you like metal.  And I do.  He must not have had anything to do with the soundtrack whatsoever!

I like crap movies.  I admit it.  I can find something to defend in even the most reprehensible, meritless, steaming load of film ever.  Almost.  I can even find little tiny snippets of amusement in Uwe Boll's crap.  So, maybe my opinion shouldn't be trusted.   :)

[Inyarear]

Amanda Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I spend ten bucks WITH a soda.  
>
> The soundtrack is only good if you like metal.
> And I do.  He must not have had anything to do
> with the soundtrack whatsoever!
>
> I like crap movies.  I admit it.  I can find
> something to defend in even the most
> reprehensible, meritless, steaming load of film
> ever.  Almost.  I can even find little tiny
> snippets of amusement in Uwe Boll's crap.  So,
> maybe my opinion shouldn't be trusted.   :)

Oh, ten bucks for the ticket AND the overpriced beverage. Whew! I could feel my heart palpitating there... Well, metal's not for me, so thanks again. If you're that much in love with crap movies, I prescribe a round of movies that get a skull rating for their reviews on here, preferably two of them played back-to-back. You've got to be cured of this mysterious affliction of finding the good in the execrable!