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Author Topic: Another particularly bad film  (Read 2808 times)
WyreWizard
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« on: June 28, 2006, 10:17:54 PM »

Hello all bad movie junkies, I am back!  I know its been two years since you read my posts on films which are bad because of their implausibility factors.  Well, I am now doing a review on a film which makes fun of these and this movie starring California Governor Ah-nuld is none other than the Last Action Hero.  I don't care what you say because this film is bad, bad, bad.  I remember back in 93 when I first had the misfortune of spending $7 on a ticket to watch this repusive extravaganza of impossibility.  This movie is filled with so many reality mistakes, its unbelieveable.  I'll give a few examples here.

1:  Explosive in a glass eye.  Yes, this one part I have a lot of trouble with.  While investigating a crime scene, one of the officers finds the villain's glass eye.  He find a seam on it.  On the top half, it says Venegeance is" and the bottom says "mine."  He twists it until the two halves align and all of a sudden BLAM!  The whole house and part of that block is destroyed in a massive explosion.  Just what was the person who wrote that scene drunk on?  That kind of explosion could not be generated by a package so small.  It completely defies all known laws of physics.  To generate that explosion, the explosive would have had to be at least 100 times the size of that little glass eye.  Even the most potent compounds couldn't generate such an explosion in a small package.  In reality, the most potent explosion in such a small package would only generate an explosion that would simply throw that officer up.  And if that's not unrealistic enough, the heroes actually survive it!

2:  Nerve gas canisters hidden inside a dead body.  This I also have problems with.  The main villain hide canisters of nerve gas to kill all the members of the sicilian mafia at the funeral.  This is completely unrealistic because the canister used to contain nerve gas is 7 feet tall and has a 1 foot diameter.  And the body was like 6'5" tall and roughly 300 pounds.  The villain was hiding two of these in this body?  And how exactly did he put the trigger in a finger of the body without dessicating it?  In reality if you were to do this, you'd severely evisscerate the body and some parts of the equipment would be exposed.

3:  Main villain tests a theory in the real world.  This is not a scientific problem, more a reality problem.  The main villain decides to test a theory by shooting an innocent bystander and seeing how long it takes for the police to respond.  If you looked closely at that scene, you'd notice people walking behind the main villain across the street.  Now when he fires the gun, they just walk by like normal.  They don't bolt at the sound of the gunblast.  Completely unrealistic.  If you heard someone shooting a gun directly across the street from you, you wouldn't walk by nonchalantly.  You'd get the heck outta there!
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ulthar
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« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2006, 10:41:56 PM »

WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>  In reality, the most potent explosion in
> such a small package would only generate an
> explosion that would simply throw that officer up.


Uh, no.  Detonations travel way way too fast to throw someone up.  Have you ever seen a person killed by a blasting cap (an amount of explosive roughly equivalent to what would fit in a glass eye)?

They aren't "thrown up."  They are torn apart.

> If you heard someone shooting a gun directly across the street from you,
> you wouldn't walk by nonchalantly. You'd get the heck outta there!

Or shoot back.
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akiratubo
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« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2006, 06:27:52 AM »

I rather enjoy this movie.
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Ash
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« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2006, 07:28:42 AM »

You beat me to it.
HBO has been showing this film for the last couple weeks.

I hated it when I first saw it years ago but now, after a few repeated viewings, I love it!

Best line in the movie:
"It's a beautiful day, and we are out killing drug dealers.
Are there any drug dealers in the house?
"
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Ash
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« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2006, 07:32:33 AM »

WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
This movie is filled with so many reality mistakes, its
> unbelieveable.


Are you serious?!
The whole point of Last Action Hero is that it's not supposed to be believable!

DUH!!

-----------------------------------------------

I think Mr. Wizard here needs to get laid.
LOL!
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WyreWizard
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« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2006, 09:04:06 AM »

Thrown up torn apart, I was just stating what the actual power of such a small explosive is.  While I'm at it, there was another problem in the movie:

Anyone remember that scene in the movie where the Chief yells for the hero and the window pane on his office door shatters?  I suppose you have all seen that one episode of the Mythbusters where they were testing the myth about shattering glass with the human voice.  They used lead-crystal goblets for that experiment, not tempered glass window panes.  Althought they were able to achieve success with that experiment, that still lends no creedence to that stupid scene.  To shatter a glass pane on a wodden door would require achieving volume and resonance that the human voice is incapable of producing.  And because that glass pane is secured in a wooden frame, shattering it with sound alone would be near-impossible because the wood frame would prevent any vibrations.
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ulthar
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« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2006, 09:14:23 AM »

WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thrown up torn apart, I was just stating what the
> actual power of such a small explosive is.  

Well, there's a BIG difference between being thrown up and being torn apart.  And the fact that you don't seem to recognize the difference means you probably should refrain from "stating what the actual power of such a small explosive is."

I don't mean to flame, but my real point is that you come on here from time to time throwing out these points about why a certain movie is 'not believable' when (a) YOUR facts are wrong and/or (b) a movie can be enjoyable without being 100% factual on every single point and/or (c) you don't take into account the intentional 'suspension of disbelief' that is required for just about every movie except perhaps documentaries.

You are, of course, completely entitled to your opinion.  Just please state it as such.  In your opening paragraph, you clearly state that LAH is making fun of action movies, which, in MY opinion, nullifies all your arguements about factual errors in it.  They are there on purpose, which to some, is entertainment in and of itself.  This is similar to the Airplane/Loaded Weapon/Hot Shots of actioners.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

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« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2006, 10:48:51 AM »

I would tend to agree with ulthar. The scenes mentioned are from the "movie" segments of the film, not the "real" segments (with the exception of the villain shooting the guy to see how long the police take to arrive) and, as such, are meant to exaggerate action movie stereotypes.

I always kind of liked this movie, though it did seem to mark the end of Arnold's streak of "good" action movies for me (Commando, Predator, Running Man, Total Recall).
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LH-C
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« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2006, 10:58:58 AM »

The good thing that came about from 'The Last Action Hero' was the awesome soundtrack.
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WyreWizard
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« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2006, 11:42:33 AM »

Oh yeah BIG difference between being thrown up and being torn apart.  The end result is different, but the cause isn't.  The difference between being thrown up and torn apart is the dispersal of the pressure wave from the explosion as well as the origin point.  When you take an explosive, put it under a car and set it off, what happens?  When you take the same explosive put it inside the car and set it off, what happens?  When you take the same explosive, put it on top of the car and set it off, what happens?  Yes, the results are different each time.  In the first instance, the car would be flipped.  In the second instance, the car would be gutted.  In the third, the car would have its roof torn off.  So you see?  The difference between being thrown up or torn apart is simply the dispersal of the pressure wave and the origin point.
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Babe, I'm leaving.  I must be on my way.  The time is drawing near.  The train is going.  I see it in your eyes.  The love beneath your tears.  And I'll be lonely without you.  And I'll need your love to see me through.  So please me.  My heart is your hands.  And I'll be missing you...
Ash
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« Reply #10 on: June 29, 2006, 11:55:39 AM »

WyreWizard needs the p***y Patrol from HBO's "Entourage" to come un-geekify his ass.

Dude, are you always this high strung?
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ulthar
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« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2006, 12:09:04 PM »

WyreWizard Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh yeah BIG difference between being thrown up and
> being torn apart.  The end result is different,
> but the cause isn't.  The difference between being
> thrown up and torn apart is the dispersal of the
> pressure wave from the explosion as well as the
> origin point.  When you take an explosive, put it
> under a car and set it off, what happens?  When
> you take the same explosive put it inside the car
> and set it off, what happens?  When you take the
> same explosive, put it on top of the car and set
> it off, what happens?  Yes, the results are
> different each time.  In the first instance, the
> car would be flipped.  In the second instance, the
> car would be gutted.  In the third, the car would
> have its roof torn off.  So you see?  The
> difference between being thrown up or torn apart
> is simply the dispersal of the pressure wave and
> the origin point.

Not quite.  If you put HiEx under a car or over a car or in a car does not matter.  The shock moving at 6000-8000 m/s does not care.  The car is ripped apart.  There is no flipping, unless you are using a low brisance heaving charge.  High brisance detonations shatter, period.  That's part of the reason for AGL explosions from artillery, missile and A-bomb targeting - so that shattering effect covers a larger area.

I do computational engineering of explosion and explosion effects for a living.  Well, that's part of my living.  I've also done, in the past, investigation of explosion crime scenes and research involving explosion crime scenes.

I'll not argue about this anymore.  I've said my peace.
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

--Real Genius
Ash
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« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2006, 12:16:59 PM »

ulthar..
It really suprised me that you would argue with someone none of us here know, about a movie that isn't even supposed to be real and also happens to be a fabrication of some shmoes in Hollywood back in the early 90's.

uhhh...right.

My image of you is totally blown...
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ulthar
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« Reply #13 on: June 29, 2006, 12:40:43 PM »

ASHTHECAT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ulthar..
> It really suprised me that you would argue with
> someone none of us here know, about a movie that
> isn't even supposed to be real and also happens to
> be a fabrication of some shmoes in Hollywood back
> in the early 90's.


Cuz it's fun...to a point.  He's done this sort of thing before; with MARS ATTACKS, if memory serves.  I think it's funny for someone to say this and that is wrong because...then the stated reason is just as much fiction.

>
> My image of you is totally blown...

I could ask what image you had of me, but I'm not sure I really want to know.  ;)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

--Real Genius
RCMerchant
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« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2006, 01:32:43 PM »

Lotsa times,I log on to this site just to laugh my ass off.You guys kill me.
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