who can come up with the worst horror movie ever!!!!

[Shadowphile]

Bubba Hotep featured a mummy who sucked the souls out of old people at a retirement/nursing home through their a***oles.  And is starred Bruce Campbell as Elvis....

[Bazarov]

The devil wears Prada, there is no devil and i did not find this movie scary

_______________
 "What do you me shes DIE a  BET ick"
                        -Doctor Phil

[Bazarov]

The devil wears Prada, there is no devil and i did not find this movie scary

_______________
 "What do you mean shes DIE a  BET ick"
                        -Doctor Phil

[LilCerberus]

How about one of those "polliticaly correct movies for our time", which somehow misses the mark by a mile, leaving half the audience laughing & the other half scratching their heads?

I would call it "The Deeply Misunderstood, Emotionally Unbalanced Sharp-Object & Explosives Enthusiast".

[Shadowphile]

The Devil Wears Prada is based on a real person.  As I heard the tale, the role was even softened somewhat rather than showing the woman as the grade A class 1 b***h that she really was.

[Dr. Whom]

I think you mean Zadar, and no I hadn't heard of it.

[Raynauld]

worst horror movie ever is    gummie head  seen it once a verry long time ago and i still get to laugh about how boring that movie is.... Although you could say it isnt really a horror movie, but hell  who reads these forums anyway?

[Inyarear]

I guess that's what the real title of this thread should be. If the idea were to come up with the sickest, cruelest, most irredeemably vicious film ever, I think my suggestion would win it by a lot. If it's the most mediocre, then the obvious thing to do is load it up with cliches that will put the audience to sleep with their banality. It's simple, really.

Just make it a zombie movie (because heaven knows, a thousand zombie movies was never enough) and pit the zombies against apparently autistic characters played by crummy functionally illiterate actors obviously reading from off-screen cue cards. Have them swear constantly and repeatedly, using only one swear word for all purposes. (The F-bomb tends to be especially well-suited to many different uses, so don't let them use that one.) Have them also make incredibly stupid mistakes on a regular basis to make the audience (A) wonder whether the characters are more brain-dead than the zombies, (B) wonder how long it will take their own brains to die while watching this film, and (C) wonder whether clinical brain-death would, in fact, be preferable to watching this film.

Be sure to use lots of lines that are supposed to sound clever, but in fact sound stupid. Hire incompetent directors, producers, and crew to make the film (or be an incompetent director/producer/crew member yourself). Shoot it straight to VHS and don't bother doing retakes on muffed scenes. Release the film to low budget art film houses along with a pretentious and jargon-filled description making this film out to be an ingenious work that's far too avant-garde and artistically brilliant to be understood by anyone so pathetically low on brain-power and proper appreciation of contextually progressive art as the (obvious) losers who've come out to see your film.

Then watch as those same losers, failing to grasp that they've just been insulted, give your instant cult classic an average rating of 7 stars on the Internet Movie Database.

[LilCerberus]

I believe someone is already making a zombie flick with autistic people as the protagonists.

I haven't looked it up in a while, but it's called Special Dead: Sometiimes the Heros Ride the Short Bus.

[ulthar]

lilcerberus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Special Dead: Sometiimes the Heros Ride the Short
> Bus.

ROFL

[peter johnson]

My word, Alex B, you are right!  It is indeed Zadar, and not Zontar, who's the Cow From Hell --
And since you've never heard of it, you must not be a Duck's Breath fan either -- How about Firesign, never heard of them either, I hope?
I've re-read our posts and . . . well, I still think nobody's actually beat out Night of the Lepus yet --
myself included, though I do still like my bit about the Dachshund -- Ever been bit by one of those nasty little dogs?  They're scary!  I mean it -- Did you see the tiny little fangs on it?  It . . . was burrowing and. . . it was . . . SCARY!! (Degenerate to Count Floyd . . . fade to black)
peter johnson/denny crane

[Dr. Whom]

Well Inyarear, you've obviously been giving this a lot of thought. I broadly agree, but zombies are too good for this. You really need one of these excruciatingly slow or even immobile monsters of the 50s. Say, the Tabanga of From Hell it Came. That way the characters should behave in incredibly silly ways to get eaten at all.

Vampire Aspen trees?

[ulthar]

How about:

Mutant Sofas?  Humankind becomes afraid to sit.

A possessed food processor that comes to 'life'?  (Here I'm thinking of that lawnmower scene in "Devil Dog, Hound of Hell")?  Yuppies everywhere, who have forgotten that one CAN chop by hand with a knife, live in terror.

Dirt becomes poisonous to the touch?  Society decays as everyone becomes a total cleanliness-freak.

A family in peaceful suburb decides to become canibals?  It's a comedy, though.

Explorers in space find the "root" of all gravity?  They hold the universe hostage with the threat of turning it off and thus, ripping apart the very fabric of our existence.  Who can save us?  Children of course.

Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa and Hannibal meet in the afterlife and decide to write the most interesting, deep and factually accurate science fiction story of military conquest and the human condition?  They take the screenplay to 150 Hollywood producers can cannot secure backing for the project.  In a 90 degree turn that makes no sense, the plot dissolves into the heart warming story one of their decendants who has cancer.

[Shadowphile]

You made a vampire out of a pomeranian?

[Dr. Whom]

In the newspaper today there was a piece about fire hazard of household appliances, with the shocking title: Danger of Tumble Dryers Underestimated.

So why not The Tumble Dryers of Death?