Suggestions

[alex eizenberg]

I have a few suggestions of stellar b-movies:

Fantasy Mission Force - unbelievably confusing Jackie Chan movie with Nazis that drive spray-painted Lincolns, chasing some chick with a bazooka and all these...well, just see it, there's a musical number you won't want to miss, too.

Trick or Treat - Some heavy metal singer kills himself, high school outcast plays his record backwards, brings him to life, starts killing the kids that pick on him, some kid doesn't die from being electrocuted with about 40,000 watts, etc.  Some really awful 80's music!

Mr. T's "Be Somebody" - I love Mr. T as much as the next 80's kid, but this is just disgraceful.  He sings.

Transformers: The Movie - The movie itself isn't so bad, I actually really loved Transformers when I was little, so I still like the movie.  However, the soundtrack to this film is phenomenally bad.  80's power metal ballad-s**t rock with melodramatic vocals.

I Spit on Your Grave - "feminist" movie about some chick that gets raped multiple times by country bumpkins mysteriously residing in rural upstate New York.  Rather than involving the police (since she knows all their faces and where they live), she plots elaborate schemes of revenge.  Not nearly as funny as the other movies, just worth seeing for the truly ridiculous rape scenes.

They Live - Rowdy Roddy Piper can see evil aliens through special sunglasses and eventually dies.  Oh yeah, he's homeless, too.

Back in Action - Roddy again, this time paired with Billy Blanks in just a generally bad movie.  

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Ugh, whales and William Shatner getting some.

[The Honn]

Dont EVER insult metal again.

[J.R.]

Hey, man- Weird Al is on the Transformers soundtrack.

[Dan]

you should definatly list the critters movies along with Evil Toons!!!!!!!alex eizenberg wrote:
>
> I have a few suggestions of stellar b-movies:
>
> Fantasy Mission Force - unbelievably confusing Jackie Chan
> movie with Nazis that drive spray-painted Lincolns, chasing
> some chick with a bazooka and all these...well, just see it,
> there's a musical number you won't want to miss, too.
>
> Trick or Treat - Some heavy metal singer kills himself, high
> school outcast plays his record backwards, brings him to
> life, starts killing the kids that pick on him, some kid
> doesn't die from being electrocuted with about 40,000 watts,
> etc.  Some really awful 80's music!
>
> Mr. T's "Be Somebody" - I love Mr. T as much as the next 80's
> kid, but this is just disgraceful.  He sings.
>
> Transformers: The Movie - The movie itself isn't so bad, I
> actually really loved Transformers when I was little, so I
> still like the movie.  However, the soundtrack to this film
> is phenomenally bad.  80's power metal ballad-s**t rock with
> melodramatic vocals.
>
> I Spit on Your Grave - "feminist" movie about some chick that
> gets raped multiple times by country bumpkins mysteriously
> residing in rural upstate New York.  Rather than involving
> the police (since she knows all their faces and where they
> live), she plots elaborate schemes of revenge.  Not nearly as
> funny as the other movies, just worth seeing for the truly
> ridiculous rape scenes.
>
> They Live - Rowdy Roddy Piper can see evil aliens through
> special sunglasses and eventually dies.  Oh yeah, he's
> homeless, too.
>
> Back in Action - Roddy again, this time paired with Billy
> Blanks in just a generally bad movie.
>
> Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Ugh, whales and William
> Shatner getting some.

[Mofo Rising]

alex eizenberg wrote:
>
> I have a few suggestions of stellar b-movies:
>
> Mr. T's "Be Somebody" - I love Mr. T as much as the next 80's
> kid, but this is just disgraceful.  He sings.
>


Disgraceful?  DISGRACEFUL?  Why you little punk.  Didn't that movie teach you anything?  Don't you now know how to deal with frustration, shyness and peer pressure?  Didn't you learn how to breakdance and create your own fashion, "tabling the lable and wearing your own name"?  Why I bet your mother. . .

Mr. T steps in, "Hey, don't bring one's mother into this."

Seriously, I love "Be Somebody".  It's one of my most prized posessions.  In fact, I pretty much make every single person I know watch it at one time or another.

Yes, they always thank me.

[Scotty Xtreme]

Come on, if your going to bash a Trek film, the least you can do is bad mouth ST V: the Final Frontier.

[Lee]

I'm not sure I should say this but, I OWN THIS MOVIE!!! Quite possiblly the weirdest movie Jackie Chan is connected to(and that is saying something!). Everybody should check it out once. It's totally awful but in a kinda fun way.

[Cullen]

There I was, enjoying the movie when, surprise!  All the major characters die!  Pointlessly!  What fun!

If the film had been both good and serious, I wouldn't of minded.  I mean, look at "Dirty Dozen."  Excellent movie, even though nearly everybody dies.  Samething with John Carpenter's "The Thing."

The director has a thing for pointless slaughtering of characters.  His later movie, "Huo shao dao" (aka "The Prisoner") has his cast wiped out in an equally empty fashion.  Wonder what he was thinking.

[Funk,E.]

I'm w/ Scotty on this one. ST4 wasn't nearly as abysmal as 5. 5 was on the tele the other night and I couldn't get all the way through it. I watched Witchblade for the eighth time instead.