Slime Rating: ***
Note: This review does contain some language that may not be suitable for younger readers. If I were to rate it, I would say it would be PG-13, borderline R. Also, depending on your screen resolution, you may have to scroll left and right to see all the screen captures and character intros. I apologize for that as I didn't take screen width restrictions into considerations; I will keep it in mind for future reviews.Overview
The Black Hole...you remember the lunchbox, the pop-up book, or maybe even the few action figures or Topps cards right? This is Disney's response to Star Wars in the late '70s/early '80s sci-fi gold rush.
This movie tries to be epic -it really does. On one hand, it has some great concepts and some interesting elements, but on the other, it's filled with heavy cheese. Either way, you can tell a lot of money was poured into it. Just check your brain at the door and don't expect concrete physics and you'll find this is an enjoyable movie with a few "wtf" moments. There are some heavy Christian themes throughout, which seems strange for a sci-fi Disney flick. Note
: I decided not to do a scene-by-scene recap and instead give a basic overview, although I have revealed a lot of plot details below. If someone would like to add their own recap, feel free. I think I've provided enough to chew on for one movie :)
-The opening crawl -first use of CGI? The score is effective (although overused later) -intro is pretty cool
-Max looks cool as long as you don’t look at him very long or in too much detail. He's colored deep red, has an evil red glowing eye, and some killer rotar blades.
-Kate isn’t reduced to a bimbo/sex object in space; she actually has personality although she is a damsel in distress during one segment.
-The atmosphere of an empty/abandoned ship on the edge of nowhere is pretty effective; love the look of the Cygnus as they spotlight search it at first.
-The creep factor of the human/droid/cyborgs
-STAR’s appearance…again, if you don’t look very long or in very much detail.
-The "slipping while running" from the meteor special effects shotThe Bad
-The opening dialog -mostly just futurespeak
-Vincent and Kate’s ESP (well really it’s telepathy) –either way …wtf?
-Vincent’s fixed Mickey Mouse eyes, barrel-like appearance, and annoying speeches. It would have been funny if Harry Booth put a tap in his head and tried to get the crew to do keg stands.
-The laser video game competition between Bob and Vincent vs STAR and the sentries
-The big laser fight in the greenhouse -again wtf
-The big laser fight in the room with the rolls of carpet
-Max and Vincent showdown -so bad it's funny
-The science of "slipping while running" from the special effects shot of the meteor rolling down the corridor
-General robot stiffness and lame '70s look
-Robots seem to have more personality/emotion than some of the humans.
-That's a pretty literal looking Hell - not too subtle
-Heaven looks boring, just like I expected. Hell looks funner -probably not the message they intended though.The Ugly
-Dan, "Way ta go Charlie!"
-Some of the background music when they fight in the end
-STAR blowing a gasket when he looses the shoot-em-up
Sentry robots –especially when they walk, especially their leg joints
-Reinhardt’s awareness of said ESP
-Old Bob, a robot in the future evidentally constructed on the planet Houston
-a Free Will Removal Machine
-Tin foil hats
-Max and Vincent’s goofy, show-off, twirl-action –wtf!
-Human-robot hybrids having a funeral
-Lack of gravitational effects as the script demands
-Humans are A-okay in the vacuum of deep space
-Durant’s man crush on the Doctor
-Max's jealousy over Durant's man crush
-Max’s, um, appendage (yes I realize it’s supposed to be his arm but it’s not edited to look that way).
-Vincent's egotism "Our model is the best; we're the best; I'm the best godddamnit!"