Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
September 15, 2019, 07:42:43 PM
630345 Posts in 48780 Topics by 6643 Members
Latest Member: Brightwing 48 Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Reader Comments  |  The Crippled Masters « previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3
Author Topic: The Crippled Masters  (Read 58240 times)
« on: November 03, 1998, 05:53:43 AM »

Definitely a martial arts classic. Look out Jackie Chan, and Jet Lee here comes ... well two cripples. The fact that this movie contained gratuitous beatings of handicapped people in and of itself warrants some kind of award but the fact that the two "physically challenged" heroes later break out a can of whupp-ass and defeat the villians Voltron-style was almost two much for my poor spleen to take. Lesson I learned from this movie: Don't remove the limbs from your employees or it will come back to haunt you.
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 1998, 08:21:22 PM »

Worthless...bloody worthless.. I saw this movie a few years back when a friend told me he had to get rid of a movie.. free I thought.. no.. a nuisance.. the movie was just apalling.  here you have these two crippled  bastards, one with a nub and a half worth of meat for arms and the other guy, who is just legless.  ok. let's see. no plot, no limbs, a good fantasy kung fu movie. no. that isn't the way it works. forget about it. don't let anyone con you into watching this. it will cripple your mind through mere memories of it!!
« Reply #2 on: January 23, 1999, 02:45:38 AM »

you guys forgot the fact that the scar on Ling Chang Kung's face never stayed the same, and that Lee Ho never had blood on his left arm.. until AFTER he got out of the water! love the page!!!
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 1999, 03:48:40 AM »

TOO MUCH DAMN PLOT!  I mean really, when you have two ACTUAL cripples starring in your kung fu movie, do you really need to throw in every known kung-fu movie cliche in there with it? Can't we just focus on the two guys who don't have any arms or legs? Do we need Mr. Cocky Young Bastard, and Mr. Evil Scarred Man and Mr. Wise Old Master?  Well, okay, yeah, we do.  It's kinda sad when you focus on the cripples.  I was rooting for the evil scarred guy, by the way.  I like how they ended the movie without killing him, it kinda lets you just decide that he lived, and went and got a gun or something and shot the two criipples.  Then he went to a whorehouse with cocky young bastard and everyone is happy.
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 1999, 09:36:53 PM »

this movie creates a great dilemma for veiwers.  within seconds you will both laugh at the stupidity and be utterly assamed of this spectical.  if you can sit through the entire movie on the first try you posess extreme self-control.  
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 1999, 01:37:05 AM »

My favorite kung-fu movie of all time. I just convinced a large group of friends to watch this movie and all of them thought it was the coolest movie. Of course, I wouldn't recommend anyone to watch this movie unless you've got as sick of a mind as my friends and I. Personally, I find it funny as hell to watch a cripple with no legs beat the s**t out of people with his ass. If you watch this movie, look for the climactic scene when the no-legs somehow manages to jump off the ground onto no-arms' back. After watching that, I wish i had some straps that would just pop out of my back.
« Reply #6 on: September 14, 1999, 08:43:49 PM »

I brought this movie to college with me and showed it to a few people in my dorm.  They thought it kicked ass, as I do.  It's damn funny to watch two cripples fight.  When the armless guy twirls the bamboo stick it is awesome as hell.  The metal-back guy kicks ass, but his hump grows and moves as the movie progresses.  I recommend this movie to anyone who wants to laugh at the less fortunate.
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 1999, 05:12:01 PM »

This movie totally blowed,people with even
a limited amount of intelligence better steer
clear from this movie.
« Reply #8 on: September 19, 1999, 09:21:12 PM »

If we could only master the secret of the 8 jade horses, the world would be a better place...
« Reply #9 on: October 06, 1999, 11:55:34 AM »

This movie is one of my favorites.

For those familiar with it - watch for this - when the cripples defeat Black and White, and Black gets the hat (how do you kill someone with a hat, anyway?) put on him, at one point it starts to come off, but he, the clever bastard, puts it back on....
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 1999, 08:35:33 PM »

Saw this one with a buddy of mine, and we were quite amazed to learn that the Crippled Masters really ARE crippled.  Certainly a film to track down.  If you like this one kids, check out "One-Armed Swordsman".
« Reply #11 on: December 10, 1999, 01:01:05 AM »

This is the BEST movie I've ever seen! I've watched "The Crippled Masters" MANY times! I LOVE it! I just wish I could find out where I can buy it! BTW, one of my all-time favorite lines in this movie is where the wise old man dude is by himself and Mr. Scarface shows up:

Old Dirty Bastard- "Most people sleep in a bed, but I sleep in a wicker basket!"

Scarface- "Soon you will be sleeping in a coffin! Muahahahahaaaaa!"
Sir Sword
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2000, 02:03:38 AM »

Anyone realize why they were crippled? The guy with no arms was considered a traitor to the warlord. The guy with crippled legs was considered lower, so he had no real standing(ba-da-da!). Great film in all, but Old Dirty Bastard, not the rapper but the Wu Tang martial arts master, is not in it. Anybody interested in more martial arts films should rent, or buy, the Wu Tang film collection. 14-16 films in all. One film that deserves to be here is Lord of the Wu Tang, starring Jet Li. It's weird, but cool to watch.
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2000, 11:39:53 PM »

THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!!! its kinda funny tho.
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2000, 04:47:09 PM »

i enjoyed seeing them torture those two guys before they crippled them. if i were the legless guy i'd be bumping my ass alot more often than he did. or, if i were the "evil scarred" man, i'd take full advantage of the fact that those two hotties pretty much couldn't do anything when i first handicapped them.
Pages: [1] 2 3 Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Reader Comments  |  The Crippled Masters « previous next »
    Jump to:  

    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email

    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.