Troll II

[emi]

Thiiiiink of the choooooooooooooleeeeesteroooool!!!!!

[Jason W.]

"Never mind her...DRINK YOUR BROTH!"
"Open your mouth my little friend."
"We were just givin' him some ice cream."
"Is that the voice of your dead grandfather?"..."yeeessss!"
"Green...the color of sap!" (Sap is green?)

Suffice to say, every line of diologue is a work of art. Brava Nilbog...brava Troll 2.

[A.]

The movie looks like it sucks... but that theme song... my God, it's awesome!  It's so Depeche Mode-esque!  I can't resist a movie (no matter how bad it is) that has rockin' synth music as as good as that!  My new goal is to find "Troll II."

[Greywizard]

Believe me, this movie is hysterical! It's so incredibly inept, it has to be seen to be believed! Just take a look at the user comments at the IMDB.

Anyone want to start a petition to get this released on DVD?

[SJ Payne]

I can't beleive it!  They actually made a movie worse then the original Troll!  The first Troll was bad, but at least it had the benefit of a few stars, including, (gasp!) Sonny Bono!  This is just downright terrible.  Only watch this if your a struggling b-movie screenwriter whose trying to convince himself that there are worse things out then then your script!

[Mofo Rising]

I really enjoyed this movie.  It's amazing that out of all the acting choices these people could have made, they always pick the worst one.  Except, of course, for the kid's joyful cry of discovery, "A double-decker baloney sandwich!"  Great movie.

"Stop arguing!  Josh, start singing!  Sing that song I like!"
"Row row row your boat. . ."

[Just some old nobody]

Waitaminute - the movie is called Troll II, but the only non-human characters are goblins?  Makes a heck of a lot of sense to call this "Troll II", don't it?  That's like saying Disney's first choice of a title for "The Little Mermaid" was "The Creature From The Black Lagoon".

[Bender]

Hilarious bad movie.


"they're eating her and then they're going to eat me...oh my god!!!!!!!!!!"


"I'm tightening my belt by one loop so I won't feel hunger pains"


"Go away Monsters"


"Nilbog! It's Goblin spelled backwards!!!!!!!!"


"Stop the car dad I feel sick!"


"My father's gonna cut up your little nuts and eat them"


Troll II also has some of the worst acting ever captured on film.

[Demonicuss]

Aww man, this stinker is what got me started on Bad Films (and at the tender age of ten no less!).  Let us give a brief moment of silent comtemplation before we verbally rip this one a new hole.  I mean, there ain't no freaking 'Trolls' in the damn flick!!!  Besidea, the acting, script, plot, locations, aw hell, the whole film's a stinker lurking on the shelf, waiting for some poor sucker looking for a good Troll movie.

Watch only if you have been prepared (you know, seen 10 hours straight of MST3k)

[jimdandy]

"Nilbog!!!!  That's goblin spelled backwards!!!"

[Jeff]

This movie is phenominal.  

My favorite part is the hardly mentioned popcorn scene.

and when Grandpa Seth appears in Holli's room because he "hasn't learned the layout of the house yet"

awesome, awesome movie.

The song that the towns people sing goes on forever.  "La la la, la la la lalala"

EAT UP!!

[Devin]

I worked at a video store for a while, so I can attest to the "half-rewound" thing.  This movie causes a sort of mental arrest after about thirty minutes of viewing.  I don't remember a whole lot about it - I think I blocked it out - but I remember that I had to stop the VCR because the movie was beginning to make me physically ill.  I mean, literally.  No other movie has ever done that to me...

[Tim McGahren]

Yes - this movie would would be punishment in some other countries if they could stand to watch it enough times to dub it and not rip their own eyes out. This is the second worst movie ever made, second only to 9 1/2 Ninjas. Like another reviewer, this movie made me physically ill, and I can tell you it wasn't because of the special effects.

[COLTER FREEMAN]

   BEST MOVIE EVER. What else can I say. There is one scene that does show a lack of care towards the wellbeing of the midgets in the troll (goblin) suits. When one is thrown down the stairs I swear to GOD he breaks his leg, I watched that part numerous times, I almost p**sed in my pants.

[Michael]

I caught this on cable a few years back and I recognized some of the "actors" from when I lived in salt Lake city. A year ago I found the video for 99cents and bought it. This was the best 99 cents I ever spent. It took me three nights to watch the tape, I watched it in segments, and by the third dose, I was hooked!! Like a light bulb the idea flashed in my mind that this may be  one of the best "bad movies'  ever. As a lover of bad movies  this was quite a revelation. I watched this with a group of 20 friends this thanksgiving. The movie is unbelieveable. you put the video on thinking no one will like it as much as you and within 5 minutes they have you rewinding the tape to  savour every bit of the quoteable dialogue.  I hope this comes out on DVD soon, I don't want my tape to wear out. I think we owe a round of applause for everyone involved with Troll 2 what an amazijng accomplishment.