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September 21, 2019, 05:05:11 PM
630822 Posts in 48819 Topics by 6654 Members
Latest Member: Tonberried Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Reader Comments  |  Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter « previous next »
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Author Topic: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter  (Read 76632 times)
« on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

   This is a bit different from the review, but still funny.  It is low budget, and something that is alot like bad 70s kungfu films and blacksploitation films.  When I watched it, and got to the first fight scene, I realized I needed to be drinking to watch this.  I paused it, and got some liquor.  By the musical number, I realized I just wasn't drinking fast enough.
This IS a funny movie, but it first requires some pre-moving drinking.  Second of all,don't expect it to be the awesomest funniest movie ever.  Just watch it for what it is, and its damn amusing.  I agree jesus should not have cut his hair, but oh well.  
Also, certain things in this movie are kept not too extravagant, because unlike previous reviewers, its not blasphemous, just modern.  Its a view of christianity that criticizes some dogma, but believes the heart of christianity is true.  Jesus's final speech does say that, where he thinks people should think for themselves.  Its only blasphemous in that most people wouldn't think of jesus as a kungfu vampire slayer.
This movie is entertaining, provided these few things: 1> you have alcohol, 2> you don't have a friend telling you this is the funniest movie in the world, 3> you enjoy low budget films, particularly low budget kungfu films, and of course, 4> you give it a chance without expectations.  If not, I could very much see how you'd hate this film.
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

this film is puuuuure shiiiite!

Come to think of it, it isn't even a film.

Just plain horrible.

Give it up Lee, please, for you an embarrassment to the Canadian filmmaking community.

Can't wait to see Harry Knuckles 47. Sooo original.
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

Hi there! I'm from Ottawa where this movie was filmed, and had a chance to see the director in the theatre when it was playing.  A friend of mine is ... I think... a cousin to the director, and got to play one of the Athiests who gets beat up.  I loved the film, and it was great fun recognizing all the locations used.

I hope it comes out on DVD.
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

Just the title alone makes it worth buying. I'm going to keep an eye out for this one.
Rob Cooke
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM »

Where the bloody hell can i find this film in England? i want it.....i need it
P.S.whic band does the theme music as it is very cool
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM »

Hell, seeing a kung-fu Jesus is excuse enough to get this title.

Pretty much so every flick with El Santo is gonna be MST material, so this would DEFINATELY be worth buying.
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:03 PM »

With Tashiro (above) I got to see it in the theatre with the director and a few others present. They encouraged a certain amount of audience participation (cheer for the good guys, boo the bad guys, etc.), which made it great fun.

Fun facts: the Voice of God which addresses Jesus from a bowl of ice cream and cherries in the Hooters is played by a local movie critic, Jay Stone.

You can even get JCVH T-shirts, printed with cartoon versions of either the heroes or the villains.

Link is
« Reply #7 on: July 03, 2002, 03:01:10 PM »

*Rofl*  I love it... I love it I love it I love it...
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2004, 01:00:47 PM »

I bought the thing on title alone... i was not dissapointed.  it was as bad as I had hoped.  it was a hit at our friday bad movie night
Guess my name!
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

Is this movie for real? I would think that watching this movie is akin to what a really weird parallel universe would be like where Jesus Christ knows more martial arts moves than Bruce Lee. I bet Father McGruder is his sidekick as well. Together they fight the evil forces of Zombies and Vampires to save humanity! I've got to hand it to the Canadians. They produce some really weird stuff from movies to really twisted individuals. I'm just disappointed that Tom Green wasn't cast as the Savior of all mankind.
« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2002, 11:53:39 PM »

From my home sweet home of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada... check out Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy for more Lee Gordon DeMarbre goodness.
« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2002, 05:21:03 AM »

HOLY s**t!!! This movie sounds like the greatest piece of art ever!! By the way has anyone ever heard of a film called El Frenetico and Go-girl? I found the soundtrack at a used CD store but have failed to find the film,  any help would be apriciated
Carl Pacheco
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

Piece of crap. As a Canadian though I shouldn't be surprised. Christianity only constitutes up to 30 percent of the Canadian populous. Blasphemous to a T. I only wish I had the chance to prevent this movie from ever being made.

P.S. It cost 40000$ to make this piece of garbage. Kevin Smith made Clerks  at 22000$.

Stupid Canadian blasphemous idiots. If only I knew where I could get a hold of the movie makers and confront them personally about it.
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

um..does this mean that Jesus doesn't like Vamps?

...err...are they bad or something?..I dindn't see the movie
just wanted to know if Jesus says that vampires are allowed.

I take it they aren't..right?
Xancharmos Prime
« Reply #14 on: November 25, 2006, 04:09:49 PM »

Ow, I friend brought this movie to my apartment.  Within ten minutes I wanted to get myself plastered and high to stop the pain.  I wish I wasn't out of booze and weed as it was too late to get any that night.  The pain.  The pain.  I have burned my television and my DVD player.
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