The Movies They Could Have Been

[Menard]

Don't ya just love a movie title which opens itself up to parody. Of course, this could be any movie title. I was wondering how some of you would parody a movie based on its title.

I'll start it off.


Alone with a Dork - The lights are out and you find yourself all alone, with KENNY!!! He's got an iPod, every episode of Saved By The Bell on file, he loves to do Screech impersonations, and he'll never run out of batteries.


The Hill's Have i's - They are your next door neighbors and their child is up for the state spelling bee championship. They'll do anything to see that he wins; even if it kills you.


Finding Nimoy - It's The Most Dangerous Game meets In Search Of.


Plan 9 From The White House - George W has a plan; but why in the hell does it involve Captain Crunch and Pee-Wee Herman?


The Last Time I Saw Paris Hilton - Let's just say that it involves a dumb blonde and a video camera.



That's it for now; what do you have?

[RCMerchant]

PLAN 9-Guess what? Reallity in the Bush administration is much scarier than ANY film.
Interview with Brian Williams excerpt-
WILLIAMS:(You said)that we would be welcome as liberators.
BUSH:I think we are welcomed.But it was not a peaceful welcome.--interview with Brian Williams,NBC News,Dec.12,2005.
""IT's a mythto think I don't know what's going on.And it's a myth to think that I'm not aware that I'm not aware that there is opinions that don,t agree with mine.Because I'm fully aware of that....I see a lot of the news.Every morning I look at the newspaper.I can tell you what the headlines are. I must confess,if I think the story is,like,not a fair appraisel,I'll move on it."
Actual words from our Actual Leader
YIKES!!!!

[Andrew]

The Valley of Caligari
A strange doctor tells a cowboy he will be eaten by an Allosaurus before the sun rises again and it comes to pass.

The Saved Hitler's Left Foot
Nazis managed to salvage part of the deposed Fuhrer and obey its commands.  They have developed a complex communication system, based on which toe is wriggled.  The big toe, followed by the fourth little piggy, and then two shakes of the second piggy means the complete destruction of mankind.

When Girls Collide
Two hours of women running into each other.

[oozingrectum]

I've had an idea for a few months for a pornographic parady of Star Wars, titled Porn Star Whores. Specific titles are "A Nude Grope", "The c--pire f--ks Ass" and "Return Of The cr---pie". Does that count?

[I'm also in the process of writing the scripts.. ha.]

[RCMerchant]

HITLERS LEFT FOOT sounds like a fairappraisel of all skinhead mentallity,

[LilCerberus]

I once saw a British TV interview on PBS, of the coroner who performed Hitler's autopsy. He claimed that the charred corpse was missing a testicle.

[Andrew]

I once saw a British TV interview on PBS, of the coroner who performed Hitler's autopsy. He claimed that the charred corpse was missing a testicle.

Interesting, but I cannot come up with any way it could communicate with the Nazis.  I mean, a head can grimmace and a foot can wiggle its toes, but...

[Menard]

But think of the title possibilities: Hitler's Left Nut: What He Would Give to Rule the World

[Yaddo 42]

Well, the teste could communicate, but it would have to be a porn movie for sure, and it would have rest for longer and longer periods of time between communications. Considering just who's family jewel it was, I'm sure the Nazis wouldn't mind the mess.

Three Days on the Floor - a docudrama about the aftermath of one of Tara Reid's drunken benders as she lies passed out for days on end on an ugly rug stained with God only knows what. Guest starring Lindsay Lohan who steals any booze that poor Tara hasn't polished off.

A Pack of Lip Balm - A isolated jungle primitive culture descend into chaos as the members fight against a new menace that enter their lives due to a climate change - chapped lips.

Taste the Blood of Scott Bakula - the former Quantum Leap star fights to make it to auditions for various TV pilots as he is persued by a horde of blood thirsty and p**sed off Trekkies who really didn't like Enterprise.

The Wrongest Yard - things get really ugly when the cast of This Old House can't come to terms on what variety of grass to reseed the lawn of their latest project house with.

Happy Meat - a charmingly cute veal cutlet teaches the other cuts of beef in a slaughterhouse that just because they have been rendered into parts ready for packaging and shipping to supermarkets nationwide doesn't mean that they can't still be joyful and DANCE!!!

[Famous Mortimer]

Training Day of the Dead

A zombie cop teaches his new partner about eating brains.