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Author Topic: How Did You Meet Your Wife?  (Read 4876 times)
Ash
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« on: December 31, 2006, 06:14:06 AM »

I'm almost 33 years old and still unmarried with no kids.
My mother always nags me with the usual questions such as, "When are you gonna get married and give me a grandchild?  I'm not gettin' any younger ya know!"
I always tell her, "Whenever I meet the right woman, Mom.  I'll meet her when I meet her."

Quite frankly, a wife and kids seem light years away from me...

I've never had a relationship last longer than 6-8 months.
I always hit it off strong with girls and then it quickly fades. 

It's always been a "life requirement" of mine that I maintain good friendships with all of my ex's.
This has led to more than a few uncomfortable moments...especially in grocery stores where my new woman & I happen to run into one of my ex's while she's shopping and I stop to shoot the breeze right there with her in the frozen food aisle for a few minutes.
I'm always polite, make the proper introductions and try to include my new girl in on the conversation even though I know she's secretly on the defensive and comparing herself to my ex in her mind.
.
After we leave, my girl interrogates the hell out of me about her.

Many of the women I've dated find it incomprehensible that I still talk to my ex's.
They've gone through so much sh*t with their ex-boyfriends in past relationships, they are often taken aback when they see that I'm friendly with all of my ex-girlfriends.

I'm currently single.
My last relationship didn't work out as planned.

I sometimes envy you guys for remaining married for years.

This is a question for all of you married guys here...

How did you first meet the woman you eventually married?
In a bar?
At a friends house?

Give details!   Smile
« Last Edit: December 31, 2006, 10:27:33 AM by Ashthecat » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2006, 06:46:40 AM »

The woman I'm with now (3 years so far) I meet dropping my kids off at a babysitters home.She was the neighbor,and the sitter intoduced us.Her whole apatment had only about 3 or 4 pieces of furniture...the rest of the place was loaded with canvases of oil paintings,some finished and some in progress.bottoles of paint brushes were everywhere,and she had paint all over her clothes.We got to talking,and I told her I was an artist too.We later went over to my house so I could show her some of my work...and I somehow ended up giving her a kiss.And the rest is history!This kinda p**sed the babysitter off,cuz she liked me.
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« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2006, 07:25:03 AM »

EasternEuropeanWives.com

It was $650 for the finders fee, an additional $250 because she spoke English (oh, how I regret that), and around $700 for the plane tickets.  Oh, and her shots.  I think those cost about $180 or so.

In truth, Katie and I met in high school.  We were in a class together and she decided to catch my eye.  Wore a red, slightly off the shoulders dress, to school one day, hair done, all that.  Todd and I were in the hall, between classes, when she came walking up to "innocently" say hi.  After she left, Todd asks me, "Who was that?" to which I could only reply, "She is in my History class.  I hadn't seen that dress before.  I really need to talk to her more."

Women can be subtle like that.

Katie and I did spend a number of years apart after high school.  Eventually, we figured out what we wanted.
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Ash
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« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2006, 08:04:46 AM »

Man...I envy you guys.

That "love at first sight" thing never worked for me.  
« Last Edit: January 01, 2007, 07:31:21 PM by Ashthecat » Logged
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« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2006, 09:50:11 AM »

I actually met my wife twice, sort of.

We originally talked in a local chatroom way back in the early days of teh interwebs.  We spoke on there a couple of times but never traded email addresses and such.

A few months later, we met at a party but didn't have any idea that we had spoken to each other before.  I was smitten with her but she was dating someone else at the time.  That didn't keep her from flirting with me though.  I figured I'd just wait it out.

A few weeks later, one of my best friends started dating a girl who just happened to be best friends with my wife.  We all went out on a double date and we've been together since.  As of this coming year, we'll have been together 8 years and married for 5 of those. 

It wasn't until years later that we realized that we had spoken to each other in a chatroom.  I don't recall how it came up, but it was a bit of a surprise. 
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« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2006, 10:02:27 AM »

I met my wife in graduate school. I needed books, she worked in the bookstore. We met informally then, as I was cashing checks to go out drinking.

We became friends my 2nd year and hit it off from there. Her roommate was a klepto and she would crash in my room between classes because she didn't sleep at night for fear of her roommate taking her stuff. I was the "nice guy". TeddyR
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« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2006, 12:05:06 PM »

Match.com

I gave up trying to meet anyone through other channels. I had even pretty much given up on Match.com when she emailed me. That was in September of 2002. Four years later, we got hitched. TeddyR
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« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2006, 12:30:35 PM »

I used to work as a nurse's aide in a nursing home in Albany, Ash, after I got my degree in Eugene. 

One Christmas break, what, ten years ago now, I oriented a cute girl to the job.   Took about six months to work up the nerve to ask her out...  after about three months, I just realized that she was The One.    So yes, I met my wife while wiping bottoms and changing clothes at an old folks' home.    Let me tell you, you absolutely figure out how someone responds to stress, working a job like that with her.   We got married a year after I met her.

I don't drink, so could never meet people in bars... the bar scene was always a meat mart to me anyhow.   Depressing.

Don't have a bit of a clue as to how to advise you on how to properly meet women, beyond the common sense --- be yourself.

I didn't see it as a rule to stay in touch with ex-GFs.  Two of them had sex with other people while supposedly dating me, so I quit talking to them, calling them, or returning calls from them, and I didn't feel un-grownup at all about that.   A part of me wondered if a "real guy" would still try to be friends with them.  But that part of me got quietly and efficiently garroted by the cool, self-preserving, sane part of me, and that was that.

I have only recently gotten back to emailing and cautiously talking with my first girlfriend, from high school; another, I email once in a while; another, I will never, ever contact again... Internet relationship, yuck, yuck, no...

« Last Edit: December 31, 2006, 12:32:24 PM by Zapranoth » Logged
trekgeezer
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« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2006, 02:50:27 PM »

I had been working in Dallas and got transferred to Shreveport, LA to open an office there. Since it was so close to  my home town (3hours) I went home every weekend the first year I was there.

My wife was an assistant manager at a burger place and the girl I was dating worked there. When the girl I was dating got non-commital on me, I asked her boss out to make her jealous. Needless to say it was the smartest "dumb idea" I ever had.

We only went together about 5 months before we got married and it has lasted 25 years so far. With some of the stuff that happened to me over the years, I really don't know what I would've done without her.
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« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2007, 12:29:52 AM »

I was the one who had to take my youngest sister to her accordion lesson, ever Wednesday night at 7:00,  lessons ran till about 8 PM so I would wait outside in my car, at about 7:10 or so the accordion orchestra (sounds dumb but they were quite good) got a break and these 2 girls would walk by on their way to a minimart just down the block, they'd come back with a couple sodas or candy bars and I would watch them go by. One was short, about 5'6" a tiny bit on the plump side and an extrovert, the other was tall, about 6'0" slim, and extremely introverted, the short one would say hi when they passed, the tall one never said anything so I finally asked Pete, that's what she liked to be called, her real name is Paula, out, she said she'd have to check with her parents, understandable, we were all teenagers. Now while all this was going on the tall girl said 4 words to me "my name is Joy", that's all she said. About 8:00 lessons were over so I left with Pete's phone number, told her I would call her the next day and that I thought meeting her mom and dad was a good idea. Orchestra was over at 8:30 so the 2  were picked up by Pete's mom and dad, on the ride home she mentioned I had asked her out, her parents wanted to know more, thats when Joy chimed in with things like "He's got to be at least 25 or 30 years old", "Why is he always out there waiting for you, I think he's some kind of weirdo" and finally "He's probably interested in just one thing, you know what guys his age are like". Needless to say I didn't take Pete out that week.
 The next week I'm sitting in the car waiting for Pete and her friend to come by so I could find out what happened, only Pete was there, Joy was home sick. Pete said she wanted to talk, so I was ready for the famous you're a nice guy and all but I only like you as a friend speech, what she said was that Joy wanted to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins dance at her high school (girls take boys to this particular event) so I gave her my phone number and said I'd be happy to go with her. I actually thought that she was the better looking of the 2, but as she said so little I figured that either she wasn't interested or that she had the personality of a dirt clod. Pete also told me that Joy was very shy and that even if she knew that I'd say yes she might not call so she gave me Joy's phone number so if I didn't hear from her I should call so she could ask me the question. She also said that her dad is a police officer, so if you call or go over there be prepared, he can be very scary.
 The bottom line on all of this is that I called, she sort of mumbled something I didn't hear too well, I assumed she'd asked, I said I'd go, she said great, met her father the next evening after school, we exchanged lets see if I can crush your hand handshakes (he scared the hell out of me then, found out years later that the handshake was when he decided he liked me) and we've been together ever since, 36 years. I have to admit that I feel like the luckiest man alive.
 In case you're wondering I'm 6'4" tall.
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« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2007, 11:48:40 AM »

36 years. I'm in awe.Congratulations.You gotta a Karma from me for that alone!
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« Reply #11 on: January 01, 2007, 12:37:18 PM »

I'm glad I'm not the only one... I met Anna via an internet method.  One St. Pat's 5 years ago I went out and had a horrible time.  Sulkily I went home and started noodling about on YAhoo and ended up at the Personals.  Saw one that was 1) looking for friends 2) Graduate educated 3) moving to my area 4) cute as all get-out. 
I sent a note, we corresponded for two weeks.  She got a job nearby (independent of me) and then five years later we're expecting child #1. 
-Ed
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« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2007, 01:37:54 PM »

Ash, I married at 36, so I can kind of relate to your situation. The difference between our situations is that I was (and in some ways, still am) very shy when it comes to relationship matters. When I was about 32, I used to go visit a family every week for dinner. The wife in the family had a friend whose daughter (a single mom) was kind of looking for a relationship. The wife tried to set us up a few times, telling me that she wasn't trying and telling the daughter that she was (I don't really like set-ups, and the whole reason she thought we might hit it off was that we both loved Dr Pepper, which is, of course, a great basis for a relationship). Nothing came of it for a long time, but eventually the single mom asked me to a Star Wars party (some of her friends used to get together once a year, show all three movies in the original trilogy, play games, and generally goof off, and yes, I am a geek  TeddyR). The girl and I were joking around and ended up grabbing each other's hands (think a pro-wrestling test of strength type grab, facing each other with fingers interlaced). We both kind of felt something at the contact, started hanging out/dating, and eventually married. We've been together a little over ten years now, married for over 6 of them.

I added my little story only because you seem to think time is running out for you or something; 33 is still young. I always figured I'd be alone forever, and I was fine with that; I happen to like my own company. However, God seemed to have other plans, and I'm happy this way, too; I love my wife, and her daughter is my daughter as well in every way but biologically. We are happy with each other and still embarrass our daughter by holding hands and kissing in public.
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« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2007, 07:59:52 PM »

Met my beautiful wife in Atlantic City, NJ while working as a taxi driver in 1987. Went to pick up a fare at a nursing home of about 5 girls from the Philippines. They were all talking except for one which drew my attention and I began to speak to her. The next night I picked them up again at the same time 11pm and dropped them all off and we exchanged phone numbers. We spent just about every moment together from that day on and after being together for 3 months we got married. It's now almost 20 years later and she is really a wonderful woman who is more than anyone can ask for.

Good luck Ashthecat. There is no sure way to go about finding someone, but I do hope you find her.

My wife literally saved my life over the holidays this year and I'm always very grateful to have her by my side.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2007, 09:01:56 PM by Scott » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2007, 08:41:25 PM »

I'm 31 and haven't been married yet (I'll actually be turning 32 in March).

Most of my relationships usually last about a year before they go bust.

The girl I'm with now is the first relationship that I had  been in for about 4 years.  I had vowed to remain single for an undeterminted amount of time since I was tired of having my heart broken, my emotions scrambled and my time wasted.   

But my current girlfriend is wonderful.  I had no intentions of dating again but I ran into her at a book store near my house.  I was buying some books on Stanley Kubrick, Kurosawa and Terry Gilliam and she had a huge interest in those filmmakers as well.

We started talking in the coffee area and we've been together for about 14 months now.

She still can't quite figure out though how I can watch a high brow art house movie and then turn around and watch Kung Pow: enter the Fist in one sitting.

I'm not even going to start thinking about anyting past tomorrow as I'm just enjoying "the now" for the time being.   Smile
« Last Edit: January 04, 2007, 09:01:37 PM by Torgo » Logged

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