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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Worst (most badly made, laughable) bad movie you've seen? « previous next »
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Author Topic: Worst (most badly made, laughable) bad movie you've seen?  (Read 21143 times)
Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #105 on: December 20, 2008, 10:33:37 AM »

Return of the Boogeyman (1994)... A text book example on everything you shouldn't do to make a movie.

If you think you have seen a worse movie than Return of the Boogeyman (1994), then you have not seen Return of the Boogeyman (1994).




It occurs to me that I might just have this on DVD.  I think it's an extra on the Boogeyman DVD I have in my ever growing "to watch someday before the trump of Doom sounds" pile of DVDs.  All I want to know is. .

Is it worse than a Polonia bros. movie?
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Raffine
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« Reply #106 on: December 20, 2008, 07:18:35 PM »

I recently started revisiting Texan Larry Buchanan's notorious 'Azalea Pictures' TV remakes of several already half-assed (but fun) A.I.P. 50's sci-fi flicks. As bad as stuff like THE EYE CREATURES (ne INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN), CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION (ne THE SHE CREATURE), ZONTAR: THE THING FROM VENUS (ne IT CONQUERED THE WORLD), and IN THE YEAR 2889 (ne DAY THE WORLD ENDED) are, they can't compare to his original production IT'S ALIVE (not to be confused with Larry Cohen's killer baby flick).

Buchanan's IT'S ALIVE is either a masterpiece of surreal filmmaking or a serious contender for the absolutely worst film ever made. How many other film makers would be brave enough in the last half hour of a 70 minute film where almost nothing has happened to suddenly lapse into a 20 minute dialog-free flashback revealing how the villain turned a middle-aged elementary school teacher into his obedient housekeeper?!? Tommy Kirk is the star, so that probably means it's not a masterpiece of surreal film making.

And then there's his monster, recycled from CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION, which has been dubbed "The Ultimate Cheap Monster" in several reviews.



Paul Blaisdell's monsters from the original A.I.P. films are classics of their kind, and Buchanan's unimaginative cheap ripoffs make them look like pure genius.



His MARS NEEDS WOMEN and CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE are pretty bad, too.

I've never seen any of his 'alternate history' flicks like THE TRIAL OF LEE HARVEY OSWALD or GOOD BYE NORMA JEAN but I understand they're terrible too, but minus the goofy monsters.

« Last Edit: December 20, 2008, 07:23:46 PM by Raffine » Logged

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Javakoala
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« Reply #107 on: December 20, 2008, 11:03:10 PM »

I always kind of liked Larry Buchanan's films.  Awful, yes, but they just kind of rolled along in their own soup of weirdness.   Nothing seemed forced (except emoting by the actors).  A very placid and passive type of horror film.  But then my motto is, "You can never have too much cheese, too many silk blouses or be too thin."  I learned that from Karen Carpenter.
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Raffine
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« Reply #108 on: December 21, 2008, 12:53:27 PM »

I always kind of liked Larry Buchanan's films.  Awful, yes, but they just kind of rolled along in their own soup of weirdness.   Nothing seemed forced (except emoting by the actors).  A very placid and passive type of horror film.  But then my motto is, "You can never have too much cheese, too many silk blouses or be too thin."  I learned that from Karen Carpenter.

I never said I didn't like Buchanan's films.  TeddyR

As was pointed out in Buchanan's obituary:  His work called to mind a famous line from H.L. Mencken, who, describing President Warren G. Harding's prose, said, ''It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it.''

I admit I had a certain resentment toward his work when I was first exposed to it. in the early 70s our local 'Shock Theater' apparently bought the A.I.P. movie package that included Buchanan's films, since their airings of FRANKENSTEIN, THE WOLFMAN, and other Universal classics were suddenly replaced by constant repeats of THE EYE CREATURES, IT'S ALIVE, and ZONTAR.

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Javakoala
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« Reply #109 on: December 21, 2008, 06:41:48 PM »



I never said I didn't like Buchanan's films.  TeddyR





Wouldn't have suggested it as you are revisiting his films.  I've heard others rolling their noses up at his films over the years.  I always liked them for the reasons mentioned above and the fact that when you see his monsters, you have to do a double-take to believe you're really seeing something that...lame, for lack of a nicer word.  And John Agar in "Zontar" is classic, almost as bad as "Night Fright". 

God,  I love awful movies!!!!
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Kester Pelagius
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« Reply #110 on: December 21, 2008, 11:15:05 PM »

God,  I love awful movies!!!!

There's awful and then there's awful.

Sciffy's original movie from a few weeks back, CYCLOPS, had such G-d awful CGI that I had to turn it off before it even got a full 5 minutes in.  Never even saw a single primary character.  OTOH this weeks sciffy original movie, LOST TREASURE OF THE GRAND CANYON, was just plain awful.  Yet, unlike it's predecessor, the director shot the movie in such a way the "monster" isn't really revealed until near the end.  So while it's awful it's at least watchable, whereas a movie like CYCLOPS that starts off with the reveal of the awful CGI just turns the audience off.

Then there's the DTV movies distributed by Asylum.   Half their output is best describeda s lobotomies on video and the other half, well, the less said about it the better.   Wink  BounceGiggle
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Skull
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« Reply #111 on: December 23, 2008, 07:13:47 AM »

Return of the Boogeyman (1994)... A text book example on everything you shouldn't do to make a movie.

If you think you have seen a worse movie than Return of the Boogeyman (1994), then you have not seen Return of the Boogeyman (1994).




It occurs to me that I might just have this on DVD.  I think it's an extra on the Boogeyman DVD I have in my ever growing "to watch someday before the trump of Doom sounds" pile of DVDs.  All I want to know is. .

Is it worse than a Polonia bros. movie?


I dont think I have seen a Polonia movie, but I doubt they are worse than Return of the Boogeyman (1994).

This is from my review on Myspace:

*Warning this thread will contain spoilers*

Before I start with my rant of the worst movie ever made, let me fill you in. Around 1985/86, I would rent movies in a video store like there is no tomorrow. So one day Id came across of a movie called The Boogeyman (1980). Which is a cross between HALLOWEEN, THE EXORCIST, AMITYVILLE HORROR and I wouldnt be too far off and say that The Boogeyman also influences many other 1980s B type horror films such as The Prowler (1981), The Slayer (1982) and The Demons of Ludlow (1984).

Yes, I do love The Boogeyman (1980). Id remember that the next day I went to the video store and rented Boogeyman II (1983). Only to find out it was one of the worst attempts in making a horror movie that has a huge amount of flashbacks from the first film that Id have ever seen. Sorry, most of The Boogeyman II has been block out of my mind to give full detail. But I do remember not liking the movie because of the flashbacks.

Thankfully FEARnet has provided The Boogeyman (1980) and Return of the Boogeyman (1994) (V) on their April lineup.


Return of the Boogeyman (1994)

Ok, I didnt even know there was a Boogeyman III. And since the movie is called Return of the Boogeyman, Id thought that this could have been an improved version to Boogeyman II or an ill attempt in ripping off from the original Boogeyman movie.

Either case Id decided to watch Return of the Boogeyman. After all I happen to own the original Boogeyman and I had no reason to watch it on FEARnet.

How could I go into details about Return of the Boogeyman?

Cliff Notes

Return of the Boogeyman is so bad that if your teaching a bunch of film students what not to do, you might find the movie a simple reference tool.


Yes! Return of the Boogeyman that bad.

After the killer drops the Radio in the tub for the 10th time, I was already looking up Return of the Boogeyman in IMDB. Partly because I faintly remember Boogeyman II for being bad with flashbacks and I was quite unsure because Return of the Boogeyman is also loaded with flashbacks. At that moment I was thinking maybe this was Boogeyman II, although I dont recall seeing the movie back in 1994.

Soon Id learn that Return of the Boogeyman is really Boogeyman III. My mouth dropped.

What makes Return of the Boogeyman the worst movie ever made?

1st, There is about 65 minutes of Flashbacks of the original Boogeyman (although IMDB also says that Return of the Boogeyman combines flashbacks of Boogeyman II. Im not quite sure what, but Im willing to guess its the part when the killer is dropping the Radio on the bathtub?)

2nd, Although we have to review at least 65 minutes of Flashbacks, this time its narrated by from a girl who seemed to be talking to a therapist. So not only we are seeing Flashbacks from the original movie but also we are listening to a character that is describing each frame.

3rd, If you have ever wonder What if midgets could get behind a movie camera and film a scene what would it look like? Well You should check out Return of the Boogeyman. The scenes that arent flashbacks seemed to be shot at waist high and close-ups on the characters face is a good clear shot up the characters nose.

4th, How many times can we see the radio dropped into the tub? Ok, if you were looking for a good drinking game and everybody needs to take a shot when the radio hits the tub, Id swear somebody is going to die of alcohol poisoning. (Or end up drinking 2 big bottles of Jack)

Im not quite sure how many times they kept flashing that scene but Id know its has to be more then 20 times!!!

5th, Besides the overuses of flashbacks and filmed by midgets. There seemed to several attempts on artsy filming. Sorry, I cannot pin point the scenes but Im sure its somewhere between the 5th to the 19th time the Radio is dropped in the tub and towards the ending.

6th, Boring narrations of the therapist opinions and progress by the beach.

7th, What else? Besides the typical stiff scenes, actors/actress that cannot act, poor lighting, random characters that seemed to show up and leave, as well as boring narrations. Try a nonexistent plot and an ending that assumes that theres going to be a Boogeyman IV.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dont think anybody could find a worse movie then Return of the Boogeyman and if you think you had then you have not seen Return of the Boogeyman.

Recommended to Film Students who want to know what not to do in making a movie but doesnt have the time to review several films.

:)
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Javakoala
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« Reply #112 on: December 27, 2008, 09:01:01 AM »

I've found the best thing to do with "Return Of The Boogeyman" is to find a good shot of the woman, pause it and be amazed at how someone that pretty can float around with a turd like this movie.  Not suggesting she can act, but you'd think she could have been doing photo shoots for Kohl's or, heck, even Wal-Mart instead degrading herself like this.

Karma to you for actually sitting through this thing.  I admit to fast-forwarding through this poop storm just to see if the woman gets naked and I fell asleep doing that.  And Polonia Brothers have SOMETHING happen in their movies, so, yeah, I'd rather watch one of theirs over this.
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