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June 25, 2016, 02:45:27 PM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Television  |  THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs « previous next »
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Author Topic: THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs  (Read 86167 times)
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #510 on: January 30, 2016, 08:08:15 PM »

GIRLS TOWN

CROW [as French maitre d']: Sir, I have a table for you and your jailbait.

TOM [as the automated phone recording at the Catholic orphanage]: All of our nuns are currently busy. The last calls will be answered first...

TOM: Paul Anka's beefy security nuns step in!
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"It's the chilling story of a huge-breasted topless witch who slices open teenagers' wrists and tells them it's 'therapy.' This may be the finest performance of Al Lewis since... well, since he was Grandpa Munster."-Joe Bob on FRIGHT HOUSE
sprite75
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« Reply #511 on: January 31, 2016, 09:48:45 PM »

I was watching one of the bonus features - Crow vs. Crow.  That was a panel discussion that featured Bill Corbett, Trace Beaulieu, and Frank Conniff.  They were talking about Charro! and Frank mentioned they came up with this line for Crow;

"Do I smell Elvis?"

I sooooo wish they could've made that episode.  Maybe they should try for it again since they're doing the show again.
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Trevor
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« Reply #512 on: February 04, 2016, 07:35:56 AM »

I was watching one of the bonus features - Crow vs. Crow.  That was a panel discussion that featured Bill Corbett, Trace Beaulieu, and Frank Conniff.  They were talking about Charro! and Frank mentioned they came up with this line for Crow;

"Do I smell Elvis?"

I sooooo wish they could've made that episode.  Maybe they should try for it again since they're doing the show again.

That was on the DVD of The Beatniks: great episode.  Smile
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #513 on: April 09, 2016, 10:32:58 AM »

SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL

All the memorable riffs revolve around Tab Hunter, a bad guy disguised as a priest.

[Tab first appears]
MIKE: Insert Tab A into B-movie.

[As priest, Tab puts on Frank Sinatra-style hat at jaunty angle]
MIKE (singing): That's why the savior is a tramp!
TOM (singing): She gets too hungry, for trans-substantiate!

[Tab-priest pulls out a gun and takes woman hostage]
TOM: Jeez, ever since Vatican II, these guys!
CROW: All the Church will do is move him to another parish.

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"It's the chilling story of a huge-breasted topless witch who slices open teenagers' wrists and tells them it's 'therapy.' This may be the finest performance of Al Lewis since... well, since he was Grandpa Munster."-Joe Bob on FRIGHT HOUSE
retrorussell
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« Reply #514 on: April 30, 2016, 06:04:44 AM »

THE CHICKEN OF TOMORROW

(at title screen) Tom: The chicken of tomorrow in a deadly battle against the chicken of today!

(eggs are frying in a pan) Crow: These are your chickens on drugs.

(camera pans) Narrator: And on large and small farms the search for the perfect chicken goes on.
(Tom) THERE IT IS!  No-wait..

(narrator) Let's start at the beginning, in the incubator.
Mike (as narrator): I'm in the incubator now. (muffled voice)

(narrator, as woman is loading eggs in incubator) Good chicks come from good eggs.
Tom: (as worker) Thank you young man!

(narrator) And finally the fully-developed chick is ready to start breaking out of its shell.
Tom: Sticks of dynamite are arranged carefully around the perimeter.

(narrator) Sexing the chicks, or separating the males from the females, is a highly specialized trade.
Tom: Yeah, for pervs.

(worker tosses chicks in bins)
Crow: Garage sale.. Goodwill.. save for the kids..

(narrator) One of the most important advances in poultry raising is the trap nest.  The bird can enter the trap nest easily to lay her egg.  But she can't get out again.. until you LET her out.
Mike: There's no point; it's just funny!

(narrator) And this is a good place to point out a few facts about eggs.
Crow: Stop throwing them at my car!

(chicken combs are flopped over their head)
Mike: They're all wearing Rembrandt hats!

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HBO in space!<br />
sprite75
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« Reply #515 on: June 20, 2016, 08:39:59 AM »

The Giant Spider Invasion
"I gotta go drain the little buddy, I'll be right back!"
"Packers!  Packers won the Super Bowl!"
"And this movie ramps up the repulsion."
"Got.  Milk."

Manos
"I'm guessing this is the whole reason this movie was made."
"Joel this is gonna turn into a snuff film."

Mitchell
"Eye on the Sammich!  Mitchell!  Heart's pounding!  Mitchell!  Veins clogging!  Mitchell!"
"You know it's about this time in any killling spree that you really ought to turn the gun on yourself.  Turn it, turn it, turn it...."
"Baby oil?!  NOOOOOOOO!"

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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #516 on: Today at 11:52:44 AM »

DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL

[An odd sound effect is dubbed in as a bird swoops by]
CROW: That's a lot of things, but it isn't a bird song.
TOM: I just heard an eagle meow!

Troxartis: Stop them!
MIKE [exasperated by the confusing plot] Stop who from what?

["Potato girl"'s corpse is put on the pyre]
MIKE: Well, I have to say.. she was all-righta!
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"It's the chilling story of a huge-breasted topless witch who slices open teenagers' wrists and tells them it's 'therapy.' This may be the finest performance of Al Lewis since... well, since he was Grandpa Munster."-Joe Bob on FRIGHT HOUSE
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