10 bad movies a person needs to see before they die

[Andrew]

Do not forget that at the end of the movie God (Mr. Topps) descends from heaven and saves all the hippies from the RIAA by taking them away in his white automobile.

Review:
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/apple/

I have to say that one really bad music opera belongs on the list and my vote is for "The Apple."

[Joe]

i think if we are gonna do this it should be broken down into time period lists i.e 50's 60's 70's and 80's possibly 90's top ten lists of b-movies.

[Capt_Scrummy]

That's a good idea.  There are too many movies out there.  However, it's a top 10 list of movies a person should see before they die.  Maybe if we did a top 10 list of each decade, and then took the top 2 from each one. 

[Rombles]

Would it be just as valid, though, to come up with a top 10 from each genre of bad movies, and then take the top X number from each of them?

If we manage to get a definitive Top 10 list up, without any arguments, I will be shocked!  (Mind you I wouldn't see that disagreement as a bad thing - we are here because we disagree with the mainstream - why then should we all agree with each other!)

That is not to say that I am against Top 10 lists - maybe everyone should post their own personal list of the Top 10 Bad Movies THEY would recommend everyone should watch before they die!  Or see if we can come up with the top 10 from each decade, and the top 10 from each genre...

So, here goes.... MY Top 10 Bad Movies That I Believe Everyone Should Watch Before They Die....

Bad Taste
Brain Dead (aka Dead Alive)
Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowlarama Of Death
The Toxic Avenger
Plan 9 From Outer Space  (cos despite what I said before, I just can't fathom a bad movie list without this on there!)
Flash Gordon (yes the 1980 one)
Xanadu  (ok, might be JUST BEFORE they die  )
Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes
Guitar Wolf : Wild Zero
Houseboat Horror

And that list only looks like that because I don't consider Cemetary Man, Shaun Of The Dead and Dawn Of The Dead to be "bad" movies, despite the fact that everyone SHOULD see these before they die as well!  B-Movie definition alone will make a Top 10 list tricky!

[fortunato]

I would disagree with the placement of Dead Alive (Braindead) and Bad Taste because they aren't "bad films" so much as low-budget, yet creative efforts that helped to make Peter Jackson one of the finest modern filmmakers. That's like saying Sam Raimi's, Tobe Hooper's, or Quentin Tarantino's early films belong on a bad movie list, and I just don't agree with that.

The rest of that tripe does count, however, so....good list.

[Capt_Scrummy]

You already know a few of mine.  Here it goes:

1) Manos:  The Hands of Fate
2) Troll 2
3) The Apple
4) Hard Rock Zombies
5) Hercules (1980 Lou Ferigno version)
6) Fist of Fear, Touch of Death:  The Real Bruce Lee Story
7) Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
8) Ice Cream Man ('cause Clint Howard is so darn funny)
9) Catman in Lethal Track
10) Ricky-Oh!  The Story of Ricky

[sideorderofninjas]

1.) Pocket Ninjas (Basically a low budget rip-off of 3 Ninjas)
2.) Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla
3.) Fat Spy (any movie with Phyllis Diller singing about quivering loins...truly horrifying...)
4.) Last Samurai (low budget action movie)
5.) Pocket Ninjas
6.) Double O Kid
7.) Atomic Brain
8.) Screaming Skull
9.) Battlefield Earth
10.) Catman in Boxer's Blow
11.) Massacre (1985) (the worst lone wolf cop who plays by his own rules movie I ever saw...)

I'm throwing in #11 because it seems to pretty unknown...

[Weltall]

1.) Pocket Ninjas (Basically a low budget rip-off of 3 Ninjas)

Can it be worse than 'High Noon at Mega Mountain'? Er, not that I watched that or anything.

4.) Last Samurai (low budget action movie)

This would be the Tom Cruise movie that wouldn't know historical accuracy if it hit it in the face like a ton of bricks? I'd say it's not truly bad in the sense that a Plan 9 or Monster a Go Go is bad, it just sucks hard in a general sort of way.

9.) Battlefield Earth

I'd definitely keep this as an example of how Bad Movies can be made today but I'd suggest having a neck brace handy.

Let's see, some ideas of my own. I've already mentioned Monster a Go Go. Plan 9 must be on any top 10 list, I think it's written on stone tablets somewhere. Robot Monster too, a great example of how hope just can't overcome a shoestring budget and silly plot. Also, Catwomen of the Moon. Since no bad movie list is complete without a classical horror icon, I'll end my thoughts with Dracula vs. Frankenstein.

[Capt_Scrummy]

You're right, Pocket Ninjas is fantastic.  I just ordered that one a week ago, along with "Flyin' Ryan".

10.) Catman in Boxer's Blow

I must say that this one is incredibly bad.  I only included the first Catman movie because I thought one of them ought to be up there.  I've got a friend who's actually keeping correspondence with Jonathan Isgar, the man who played Catman.  I didn't know that anybody else had actually seen these...

[sideorderofninjas]

The Last Samurai I consider awful, wasn't the Tom Cruise one.  I meant the 1989 one that starred Lance Henriksen as a mercenary in Africa hired to recover a lost samurai sword. 

Catman in Lethat Track has a pyrokinetic preacher who is actually a devil worshipper who was working for the KGB in Southeast Asia...Anything that deranged deserves my respect...

[Rombles]

I would disagree with the placement of Dead Alive (Braindead) and Bad Taste because they aren't "bad films" so much as low-budget, yet creative efforts that helped to make Peter Jackson one of the finest modern filmmakers. That's like saying Sam Raimi's, Tobe Hooper's, or Quentin Tarantino's early films belong on a bad movie list, and I just don't agree with that.

The rest of that tripe does count, however, so....good list.

You know what?  You are right.  Damn I hate that - I don't even agree with myself anymore!  Actually you are part right.   I will fight to the death to defend Bad Taste's place on any "Bad Movie" list (OK, maybe not a list of Bad Spaghetti Westerns, or Bad Musicals, but you get what I mean).  Brain Dead I will have to agree, though.  I must have changed my mind somewhere between the beginning and the end of that list!   So, after re-considering, and reading the subsequent lists, I will scratch Brain Dead, and put Battlefield Earth in its place.  And actually while I am rethinking things, I probably should take Xanadu off the list (gee, I must have felt like being a bastard when I did that list, putting that one on there!) and make everyone watch Bad Taste twice!

[sideorderofninjas]

Let's just consider 2 different lists: a "Bad" Movie list for movies that are torture to endure and a "B" Movie list for what we would consider classics like Bad Taste and Evil Dead 2, etc...

[Capt_Scrummy]

Some of those are inseperable, though.

...Maybe this is an impossible task.

[fortunato]

I have a few more movie names we can add (or discard) to our growing list of 10 worst.

Gigli, obviously
Ishtar
Cabin Fever
The Kindred
Pteradactyl Woman from Beverly Hills (or whatever that movie was that I mercifully forgot about)
and Snow White: A Tale of Terror

[RCMerchant]

I'm gonna go with BAD movies as in BAD that I like,not bad as in "it sucks".Also I'm gonna keep it to loooooow budget.By DecadeS(whew) Here goes...
30's....Now I havent seen a lot of low budget 'Bad  Movies" from theis decade so...
1. MAINIAC (1934) Crazy mad doctors,cat fights,breif nudity(!!!),and a our hero(?) eating a cat's EYEBALL!!! AWRIGHT!!!
2.REEFER MADNESS (1934) Need I comment?3
3.The PHANTOM CREEPS (1939) Bela Lugosi and his cool robot.Bela's overacts to the point of hysteria... 
4.the VAMPIRE BAT(1933) Dwight Frye acts like a loony,as usual,and that's enuff for me!
40's
1.the DEVIL BAT (1941) Dam ridiculous...
2.the BRUTEMAN(1946) Rondo Hatton.Nuff sed.
3.VOODOO MAN (1944) Bela,John Carridine,and George Zucco. "your a pretty one...hehehe."
4.RETURN of the VAMPIRE(1943) Bela and...a talking werewolf!
5.FACE of MARBLE(1946) John Carridine again...and an invisable dog that walks through walls!
6.KING of the ZOMBIES (1941) It has zombies,and MANTAN MORELAND!!!!YEAH!!!!
7.WHITE GORILLA(1947) Has any one else but me seen this wonderful piece of crap?
8.ZOMBIES on BROADWAY(1945) Brown and Carny,the comedians in this "comedy" suck. But it does have Lugosi,and Darby(I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE) Jones,and I like it anyway...
9.STRANGLER of the SWAMP(1945) A weird ass movie about a weird ass ghost in a studio set swamp.
50's...NOW we're gettin' somewhere!!!
1.BRIDE of the MONSTER(1955) Bela,Tor,Ed WOOD!!!! and a giant octopus!!!!
2.PLAN 9 from OUTER SPACE (1959) Need I comment?
4.ROBOT MONSTER(1953)  see comment above.
5.the HORRORS of SPIDER ISLAND(1959) Big boobs,catfights,goofy monster,inane dialouge,crappy fx...HELL YEH!
the BRAIN that WOULDN'T DIE(1959) This is one of my favorite movies of all time,bad or good. The pinhead monster,gore,the laffing head/b***h,catfights,a crazy doctor,pretty girls...sh1t!! And the shmoozy sripper music/theme is cool!
6.the DAY the WORLD ENDED(1955) The 3 eyed,for armed monster is super cool.
7.GLEN or GLENDA(1953) Ed Wood's infamous transvestite debut mess.
8.the ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER(1958) I don't know why...but the glow in the dark babe,and the drunken moll,and the acting of Keene Duncan are part of it.Oh yeah...Robert Clarke talks to his dog..alot.
9.FACE of the SCREAMING WEREWOLF(1958) Lon Chaney is back as a werewolf,and a mummy. And another mummy to boot.And did you know a werewolf can climb up buildings like King Kong?
10.The WAR of the COLASSAL BEAST (1958) He eats'outta grocery trucks,growls and screams alot,and is real f#cking ugly!
    I coulda went on forever on the 50's,(sigh)
60's
1.HORROR of the BLOOD MONSTERS(196?) This thing had so many release dates...Prehistoric Vampire people,snake people,bat people,and the color is all weird too. Plus John Carridine and....more!
2.SATAN's SADISTS(1968) Insane biker madness,with a crazy Russ Tamblyn and Regina(the Freak-Out Girl) carroll, and Greydon Clark as Acid. An Al Adamson classick.
3.MANOS-the HANDS (196^) TORGO!!!
4.2000 MAINIACS (1964) The best of HGLewis's bloody horror movies! A town of hillbillys KILL KILL KILL! All to the great sounds of Bluegrass music!!!! A MUST SEE!!!!
5.SHE MOB(196?) This movie is nuts! A bunch of crazy women convicts on the lakidnap some shmuck for ransom.The gang leader is some ugly as hell dyke and....just watch it!
6.the WILD and the NAKED(196?) Strippers,a looney in the woods,an apeman(?),topless native girls dancing to rock music...cripes! What more do you need?
7.The Creeping Terror(1964) A walking tarp eats teenagers....!
8.ASTRO ZOMBIES(1967) What list is complete without this?!?!/ Flashlite powered Zombies with cool masks kill people.
9.FRANKENSTIEN meets the SPACE MONSTER(1966) Midget aliens,a REAL cool BEM,and a deformrd cyborg battle for ...Puerto Rico!
10. The INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO SUDDENLY STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME CRAZY MIXED UP ZOMBIES(1964) Whew!!!
70's
DRACULA vs. FRANKENSTIEN(1971) Drac has a fro,Franky looks like a shriveled up punkin face,Angelo Rossito laffs, Lon Chaney is an idiot axe murder,,J.Carrol Naish hollers a lot,Regin Carrol go's on an acid trip,FJA dies,Drac's ring zaps, and and and-
2.BLOODFREAK(1971) A guy smokes pot,turns into a turkey and kills people .A leg is sawed off,the narrator babbles a lot,and WWJD?
3.BLACKENSTIEN(1973) YIkes! Seeing is disbelieving! This guy has a dam big head.And he tears off nice looking chicks clothes before he kills them! And it's hilarirous!
4.ABBY(1974) Carol Speed goes apesh!t, cussin and f#ckin every one up,thanx to who elese...? SATAN! Look quick for quick flashes of the demon faced Carol! I like it almost as well as the EXORCIST!
5.BLOODSUCKING FREAKS(1977) GORE GORE GORE. Naked women,and the best comedy team since Tom and Jerry...Seamus and Ralphus.
6.the REVENGE of DR.X(1970) I've only seen parts of it,and I'm already hooked!
7.DON"T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT(1973) A buncha basket cases run rampant in the fruit farm.A classick!
8.I DRINK YOUR BLOOD(1972) A buncha acid heads get rabies and go running around killing rats and townfolk! Awright!
9.TNT JACKSON(74) Jeanne Bell pretends she knows kung fu...while topless!
10.CHATTERBOX(1977) A pretty girl gets into big trouble,thanks to her...chatterbox!
   I had a lotta trouble makin'the 70's list to...alotta good(?) ones I coulda included.
80's
1.TRUTH or DARE (198?) No,not the Madonna movie,the psycho mass murder in a steel mask one!
2.JUNIOR(198?) A buncha backwood psychos terrorize some city chicks,and Junior is the bigggest dumbust one.And he's a mammas boy too! And the girls get naked alot! And has anyone else seen this mess? And enjoyed it?
3.EVIL SPAWN(1986) WOW! A remake of the WASP WOMAN...only a LOT of blood,nudity and John Carridine...and an insane Dawn Wildsmith!!!
4.the EVIL DEAD(1982) I like this better than part 2. THERE! I SAID IT!
5.BASKET CASE(1982) Dwane and his evil deformed twin,Belial see the sites of seedy NYC,and  the blood flows freely!
6.RETURN of the ALIENS DEADLY SPAWN(1982) One of the coolest movies of the 80's!
7.BURIAL GROUND(1980) Zombies attack> So,you say? Yeah but this is the one with Micheal,the Zombie MIDGET BOY!
8.jeeeze...I...can't type no mo...more later....uhhhh...