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Author Topic: Dating Advice?  (Read 17261 times)
BeyondTheGrave
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Punks not Ded sez Rich


« Reply #15 on: March 28, 2007, 11:14:20 PM »

Don't get drunk and throw up.
Don't play music like Slayer or Black Flag.
 Don't watch the kind of movies you like.
 Don't let her see your porno collection.
 

The porn and throwing up I understand but the Music!?!?! A girl in one of classes loves it! She had a Black Flag patch on her Hoodie and well as many other patch's (Rancid, Gorilla Biscuits) involving punk and hardcore bands like myself. Of course I'm into Punk Rock Girls.

Which reminds me... I have to stalk kill run over with a car...Talk to her.
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JaseSF
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« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2007, 12:02:02 AM »

When is the right time to ask? Or is there such a thing?  What if the lady you're interested in is busy at her job and that's the only place you see her?

I'm not saying I've never asked out women before but I've only had success with women I wasn't attracted to ?! Question
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« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2007, 04:13:09 AM »


Age old advice tells you that "Don't Ask, Don't Get" is a time-worn classic.

Though of course there's more to it than that...

Right time to ask?  Well that's always tough to judge if you're not sure.  Blurting it out before you say hello is probably a bad thing.  From what little I understand, if you have a good conversation with someone, get along reasonably well [even if it's just a short time] and end it with 'hey I know this nice place for dinner, would you like to come?' that seems to be a good way of going about it.  If you come across well enough there's no real reason for them to say no I suppose.

But I don't know much: the only serious girlfriend I've had came onto me, so I'm purely lazy when it comes to this stuff...


And yes, bright plumage, baring of chests and a superior set of canines help...
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RCMerchant
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« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2007, 06:02:55 AM »

 I guess I'm not very good at dating. The first time I went out with Tara Sue...I was kinda drunk,and I just kinda did the opposite of everything,...I leaned over and gave her a kiss,then I asked her if I could kiss her. Lucky for me she didn't freak out!

  Rich...in NYC punk rock is pretty much commonplace...but in Lawton,here in BF Michigan...they listen to hillbilly junk and radio music. And back in my single days in the 80's,playing Black Flag (real loud,of course) didn't score well with the girls.And of course being s**tfaced 3/4 of the time,and not having cut my hair in five years or so didn't help(along with my mode of dress...tore up clothes with Sharpie artwork covering my filthy jacket...) ahhh...to be young and punk in hicksville...Iactually got hooked on punk while living with my Ma and brothers in NYC in the very early 80's! Thumbup
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CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2007, 08:23:39 AM »

I'm sticking with if you like her, ask her.

Don't worry about music, movies, food what ever, just freakin' ask her out. Good to dinner/lunch/brunch make small talk and find out her taste in all of those things then go from there. Be assertive just not obnoxious.

Seems to me we have a few ladies on this board and unless I missed it I don't think they've chimed in as to there thoughts.
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JaseSF
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« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2007, 08:43:42 AM »

Yes I'd love to hear what they have to say. I've sure most have had some guy go goofy over them in embarrassing fashion. Actually I'm not sure I was really accurate when I say not really attracted to, it's more there was no Sparks if you get my drift. With girls I do feel sparks with, it seems I never get the right opportunity to ask them or I don't recognize it when I do. Sometimes I've thought after the fact that perhaps in certain cases, the girl in question had placed herself into a perfect position for me to ask her yet I still didn't do it or even recognize it when she did until after the fact. Doh!
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raj
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« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2007, 09:27:24 AM »

Look her in the eyes.  Not in a creepy, staring contest way, but if you put your main focus a bit lower, you won't get to see them.  Basically, treat her as a person.
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CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2007, 10:20:25 AM »

Yes I'd love to hear what they have to say. I've sure most have had some guy go goofy over them in embarrassing fashion. Actually I'm not sure I was really accurate when I say not really attracted to, it's more there was no Sparks if you get my drift. With girls I do feel sparks with, it seems I never get the right opportunity to ask them or I don't recognize it when I do. Sometimes I've thought after the fact that perhaps in certain cases, the girl in question had placed herself into a perfect position for me to ask her yet I still didn't do it or even recognize it when she did until after the fact. Doh!

You're making it to complicated ...

Sparks? Sometimes you have to build the fire it's not always spontaneous.
Opportunity? Sometimes it knocks, sometimes you have to kick in the door.

Just stop her and say "Listen I like to take you out if you'd like to go, would you?"  If she says "Yes" ... great! If she says "No." move on ... damn son when I was dating we didn't have the internet and the 10 million "Meet women in your area." websites, we had to get out there and hunt them down and drag them back to the cave.

This sounds politically incorrect today ... when I was in the Marines we'd go to a bar and walk up to every female in the place and say ... "Do you want to have sex?" Some would smack you, some would walk off, some would roll their eyes and some would say yes. At the end of the night mission accomplished ... now I'm not say you walk up to her and say that, what I'm saying is JUST ASK HER OUT ... the hell with the "prefect time" make the prefect time. You will never know unless you ask is the point I'm making. The worst thing that could happen is she says "no" and if she does it's not the end of the world, ask somebody else.

Apply this concept as needed ... when I worked for other people I use to ask for a raise regularly, sometimes I got one I wouldn't have gotten otherwise, it I ask and asked and never got one ... I found a new job. Same with anything, JUST ASK and go from there.
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Ash
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« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2007, 11:09:45 AM »

Cheezefliz has some good points.

Women like men to be direct with them. (well, most do)
The natural fear of rejection can be hard to overcome, but it'll pass.
I've walked up to a fine-ass chick at a club, struck up a conversation with all of her friends standing right there sizing me up, asked if I could buy her a drink, ended up hanging out and dancing with her and got her number before we left.
I actually went out with her a couple of times after that but it didn't really go anywhere.
We didn't mesh quite right.

But at least I approached her and asked.

You'll often find that when you finally do go up to her, it wasn't as bad as you thought it was gonna be.   Smile
You've gotta learn to shrug off rejection.

By the way, check out Askmen.com

That link takes you to the Dating & Love section.
I've read most of the articles there and I tell ya, it's some fascinating reading.
That site gives the best advice.
Take a few minutes to check it out and good luck!   Thumbup
« Last Edit: April 01, 2007, 03:08:24 AM by Ash » Logged
CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #24 on: March 29, 2007, 11:38:02 AM »

I've got a number of young guys that work for me now and I here there DATING DRAMA stories ... I tell them the same thing, just ask. On more than one occasion I've taken them out for a drink or two and one or two of them were all ga-ga over some girl in the place and were scared stiff to approach them, so I'd get up walk over to the girl and say "See that guy setting over there, he thinks you're (insert read of her personality here) and would really like to talk to you, I'm going to send him over here  is that ok?" If it was, then I'd go grab his collar drag him over introduce them and that's that. Waste you life wondering ... get on with it. About a 2 years ago I did that exact thing and now they are married, if I didn't I doubt they'd ever have met.

The best advise I can give you is be who you are if they like it, great if not, someone else will.

Oh and mention here eyes, hair, fashion, humor, personality stuff like that ... don't say "Damn baby you gotta a fine ass, mind if I dive into those daddy pillows." Not the best approach to take ... save that for later. I've found and I could be wrong a lot of women want to to mention things they don't think a man is looking at, break the stereotype.

Ok gotta get some work done now ... go ask her out. Don't come back until you have!!! LOL
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trekgeezer
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« Reply #25 on: March 29, 2007, 12:06:27 PM »

You know in high school and in the service I was scared to death of women and rejection. After getting out of the military a friend set me up with someone and I fell hard, but it didn't last long and I went kinda nuts for a while. When I finally got my head out of my butt, I found that the experience really emboldened me. If I had the slightest interest in someone, I asked them out. 

That's how I met my wife of 25 years, I finally found someone that I could be myself with. So it is good advice to be yourself around the people you date, it culls out the ones you want to stay away from in a hurry.
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JaseSF
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« Reply #26 on: March 29, 2007, 01:47:47 PM »

So you guys are basically saying I should just knuckle up and go for it huh? Well I actually have been noticing two different young women of late. Should I ask them both?
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« Reply #27 on: March 29, 2007, 02:07:37 PM »

Okay I'm chiming in. My experiences in dating were in Junior High and High School so they're probably different than yours. There was usually a group of us and eventually we'd find out who liked each other as boyfriend and girlfriend rather than just friends. One time this guy asked me if I wanted to go to dinner or the show with him. I'm very, very shy, believe it or not, so when somebody asked me this I was like you, stammering. All of the sudden I didn't know what to say to this guy, he was a good friend and I never expected him to ask me out. I said yes and took it from there, I did act a little different at first, which was due to fear I might do something stupid, he was probably feeling the same way. As time went on (which was about 2 weeks) I found out he was out to get something else, which was very scary to me. He didn't get what he wanted and he no longer asked me out. The next couple of guys would try the same thing. Needless to say I said no a lot of times after that.
The next guy, (get this) I asked him out, more or less, I am married to. My way of asking was through a friend. We had a backwards dance at school, where the girls asked the guys to the dance. She told him that I was going to ask him to the dance and that I was going to call him and might be afraid to ask......which was true.....anyway I called him and before I asked he said "YES". We saw each other every day for 2 years then got married, I was 19 and he was 20......that's pretty young for todays standards.

So you see, in my experiences the guys were out for something other than companionship. I know that all guys are not like the ones I dated. The one I married was and is the perfect guy for me.

What everybody is saying about asking is true.....just ask. You'll be on a high if they say yes and you'll be on a low if they say no...but it all passes and prepares you for the next time. As far as a pick-up line, I think it depends where you are. If it's in a club or bar the girl is probably prepared for a pick-up line of some kind, after all she's probably there to find a guy and has heard pick-up lines before. If it's at work or school I wouldn't use a pick-up line. I would just ask "Would you like to go out some time?"
Should you act natural?.....Yes...as much as possible....she's going to be nervous too.
I think someone telling you that you are too nice or that you're too good for them isn't to put you down or that you're not attractive to them. I think they like you but don't want to hurt you in the long run by bringing you into a life style that doesn't match you.
As far as judging someone by their looks, I think there are women and men who do this. I have seen some really beautiful people who are very ugly after you get to know them and some plain looking people who become very beautiful after you get to know them.
The girl at work...is there any way to get her phone number? Sometimes it's easier if you talk on the phone. That's what Dennis and I did and we ended up going out before the dance date.

Okay, I've chimed in...hope it's at least a little helpful.    Wink


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CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2007, 03:27:38 PM »

So you guys are basically saying I should just knuckle up and go for it huh? Well I actually have been noticing two different young women of late. Should I ask them both?

Correct, use the testicles you were given .... if there are 2 you like ask the one you like better first if she says no, ask the next one, if she says no, ask someone else. Remember at the end of the day, regardless of how HOT she is or what a FREAK she is ... you have to talk to them. So make sure that who you ask is someone you LIKE as a person and not just as a body ... ask any of the long time married people here after the newness and the sex (if any) wears off you have to have something else in common or you are DOOMED!!!
I never used any REAL lines, I'd use really corny lines and deliver them as a joke I will give this next statement a 100% sure far will work ... ready ... you got a pen and paper ... ok ...

Every women I've gone out with went out with me because I made her laugh! Nearly every women I know is attracted to men that make them laugh. You make her laugh and she'll go out with you, because she knows she'll have a good time.


Women correct me if I'm wrong ...
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Andrew
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« Reply #29 on: March 29, 2007, 03:38:19 PM »

I am telling you that being brightly colored and displaying those colors in a fashion that gets her attention is important.  The other key factor is a loud mating call, something that comes up from the diaphragm and resounds across the pond.

Try these steps:

Move in front of her and go into a full display.  Puff up so you look bigger too.
Sound your call.  Not at her, but into the sky above her and move your neck in and out.
If she turns to face away you are golden.  Go ahead and mount.

I cannot count how many times this worked for me.


(Quite a bit of good advice up above, I am just in a silly mood.)
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