I like my ______ like I like my women:

[Tempest]

I like my McDonald's like I like my women- tasty and only a dollar.

I like my mute button like I like my women- easy to shut up.

 

[Tempest]

I like my books like I like my women- leatherbound and spread wide open.

[Jack]

Karma point for Jack for that one.  That was vile.

 

[venomx]

Trever lol

I like my pizza like I like my women: old, half eaten

thats too funny 

[Dennis]

I like my bows like I like my women, easy to string but with a real heavy pull.

I like my arrows like I like my women, long, well fletched, and easy to nock.

I like my Smith & Wesson like I like my women, easy to use, with a hair trigger.

I like my customers like I like my women, easy to talk to and willing to put a hitch in my giddy up.
(actually had a woman say she wanted to do that to me today )

[Shadow]

I like my women like I like my drum set: you get a work out when you bang them.

[Andrew]

I like my arrows like I like my women, long, well fletched, and easy to nock.

For some reason, this one struck me as really funny.  Thank you.

[flackbait]

I like my barbecue suace like I like my women sweet and tangy
(not sure if this one makes sense)

[AnubisVonMojo]

I like my Denny's like I like my women: open 24 hours and always ready to make me breakfast.

[Menard]

I like my ketchup bottles like I like my women: you gotta stick a knife in 'em before you get what you want out of 'em.

My apologies up front as I certainly mean no insult or disrespect (gasps of disbelief abound from the board members) but that is not funny.

Certainly the intent of this thread is to be tasteless (what other intent could there be, especially for me) but there is a difference, IMO, between making inferences about a woman permissively/submissively/promiscuously and making inferences about sticking a knife in her. Violent overtones toward a woman certainly was not the intent, nor are inferences about such funny.

I understand that this was just a joke intended to share with us with the best of intentions in mind. If in any way I may have offended you with my reply, it was not intended to do so (it certainly wouldn't be a first for me though ). I just wanted to state my feelings about the joke and in no way make it a reflection on you.


Thank You

[AnubisVonMojo]

Obviously I should have included a disclaimer for the more "sensitive" amongst us. Didn't expect such a reaction considering that so many bad movies are slashers that typical involve female victims, especially not from someone who's taken Evil Ernie as their avatar. If you haven't read it yet, you want to stay far far away from "American Psycho", though it is amazing how the movie was directed by a woman... This might explain why my karma points have taken such a hit as of late. Oh well, boo-hoo for me.

[Andrew]

Obviously I should have included a disclaimer for the more "sensitive" amongst us. Didn't expect such a reaction considering that so many bad movies are slashers that typical involve female victims, especially not from someone who's taken Evil Ernie as their avatar. If you haven't read it yet, you want to stay far far away from "American Psycho", though it is amazing how the movie was directed by a woman... This might explain why my karma points have taken such a hit as of late. Oh well, boo-hoo for me.

It surprised me as well.  Not certain why, but I generally do not watch too many slasher films - so that may have something to do with it.  I can easily view a monster movie and see a bug-eyed creature from Venus that rips people apart with lobster claws and laugh, but a man with a knife comes across as very serious to me.  Oddly, put that same knife into a film like "Switchblade Sisters" and I am fine with it again.  There have to be some reasons behind these changed perceptions - some basis that my mind is using to say, "Oh, that's different."

Over the years, I have offended people a couple of times when I said something that seemed perfectly fine to me.  The difference between my perception of what was said and the recipient was that, in my mind, the concept built around the sentence was completely formed.  The person I was speaking too could not be privy to that; the only thing they could interpret was what I actually said aloud.  As a result, you get those two different meanings.

To get back to the absurdity:

I like my women like I like my electrical outlets, just below my knees and turned on.

[Menard]

Obviously I should have included a disclaimer for the more "sensitive" amongst us. Didn't expect such a reaction considering that so many bad movies are slashers that typical involve female victims, especially not from someone who's taken Evil Ernie as their avatar. If you haven't read it yet, you want to stay far far away from "American Psycho", though it is amazing how the movie was directed by a woman... This might explain why my karma points have taken such a hit as of late. Oh well, boo-hoo for me.

Obviously my attempt at trying to be polite and considerate toward another failed miserably. Not only was a veiled and poorly contrived insult levied at me, but the same person tried to bait me; not to mention that they voted me down.

I am still going to be amazingly polite...for me.

Using slasher movies as a reason to justify oneself is a poor and childish excuse. Someone may well like strangulation and rape videos, which may be fine for them, but that does not justify bringing it into a conversation if others don't like it. We cannot, obviously, go through every conversation with a checklist of things not to say just because someone may be offended by it, but we can have the sensibilities to know when we should not go too far.

"Sensitive"? I call it a consideration toward others. I tried to be considerate with you (overly considerate) and you did nothing but spit in my face. A line has been set now; you ever cross that line with me again and you will regret it.

By the way, you have also earned a negative karma from me; that is something I rarely give.

[Poogie]

Thank You Menard and Andrew

[AnubisVonMojo]

Obviously I should have included a disclaimer for the more "sensitive" amongst us. Didn't expect such a reaction considering that so many bad movies are slashers that typical involve female victims, especially not from someone who's taken Evil Ernie as their avatar. If you haven't read it yet, you want to stay far far away from "American Psycho", though it is amazing how the movie was directed by a woman... This might explain why my karma points have taken such a hit as of late. Oh well, boo-hoo for me.

Obviously my attempt at trying to be polite and considerate toward another failed miserably. Not only was a veiled and poorly contrived insult levied at me, but the same person tried to bait me; not to mention that they voted me down.

I am still going to be amazingly polite...for me.

Using slasher movies as a reason to justify oneself is a poor and childish excuse. Someone may well like strangulation and rape videos, which may be fine for them, but that does not justify bringing it into a conversation if others don't like it. We cannot, obviously, go through every conversation with a checklist of things not to say just because someone may be offended by it, but we can have the sensibilities to know when we should not go too far.

"Sensitive"? I call it a consideration toward others. I tried to be considerate with you (overly considerate) and you did nothing but spit in my face. A line has been set now; you ever cross that line with me again and you will regret it.

By the way, you have also earned a negative karma from me; that is something I rarely give.

Whoa kitten, sheath the claws! Looks like someone's taking my posts a little too seriously. If I was going to "spit in you eye", you'd know it my friend. If I want to get offensive I'll get a sh!tload more offensive that pointing out little ironies. No need to take out the glove and challenge me to a duel amigo, I'm not Aaron Burr and you're not Alexander Hamilton. Lighten up. It's a joke kids, if you don't wanna laugh, ignore it. Or, if anybody wants to comment on something I say that might be offensive, there are less "public" ways to show off your sensitivity, so try sending me a personal comment instead of replying to a post. Besides, last I checked, being sensitive was only a bad thing if you made it that way. Hey, I'm sensitive. I shed my tears at the end of Godzilla 1985 and Stranger Than Fiction like everybody else. I'm a modern man, I can admit to it.

Though I'm sure everybody gets the same laugh I do whenever someone forgets they're on the internet and tries to sound threatening with "don't f*ck with me or you won't live to regret it" comments. You get a karma point from me for that one Smiley, enjoy it!

Sometimes it's fun to see someone get a rise like this out of a simple comment (that doesn't include racial slurs or other inflamatory remarks that are always obviously intentional attempts at grabbing attention), but let's give the future readers of this thread a little suspense. I'll drop the posting if everybody takes a chill pill and puts away the disgruntled postman attire... for any postal servants that post on this board, ignore that last comment... also, forget that I said you were "servants", I of course meant to say "independent postal employees who don't do anything they don't want to do".

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch with my girlfriend of 8 years who, surprise surprise, I don't stab with knives like ketchup bottles. Seriously though Menard, you might wanna drop Evil Ernie as your representative. The guy kills women and children in violent and gory methods all the time. Don't want anyone digging that tidbit up if you ever get into politics. Also, for future reference, I hold Abraham Lincoln in the highest regard, so if anyone ever makes a joke about him, I'll f*cking kill you... Stay beautiful kids. Love ya. Mean it.  

Disclaimer (obviously I need to put these up now...): the preceeding post was made in the sense that it should be read by a guy with a cheesy mustache who some might mistake for a lounge singer who's always "on", complete with finger snaps and "double guns" hand motions and eye winks. Kinda like Matt Dillon in There's Something About Mary or one of those fast talking agent-types in Hollywood movies.