I like my ______ like I like my women:

[Menard]

Whoa kitten, sheath the claws! Looks like someone's taking my posts a little too seriously. If I was going to "spit in you eye", you'd know it my friend. If I want to get offensive I'll get a sh!tload more offensive that pointing out little ironies. No need to take out the glove and challenge me to a duel amigo, I'm not Aaron Burr and you're not Alexander Hamilton. Lighten up. It's a joke kids, if you don't wanna laugh, ignore it. Or, if anybody wants to comment on something I say that might be offensive, there are less "public" ways to show off your sensitivity, so try sending me a personal comment instead of replying to a post. Besides, last I checked, being sensitive was only a bad thing if you made it that way. Hey, I'm sensitive. I shed my tears at the end of Godzilla 1985 and Stranger Than Fiction like everybody else. I'm a modern man, I can admit to it.

Though I'm sure everybody gets the same laugh I do whenever someone forgets they're on the internet and tries to sound threatening with "don't f*ck with me or you won't live to regret it" comments. You get a karma point from me for that one Smiley, enjoy it!

Sometimes it's fun to see someone get a rise like this out of a simple comment (that doesn't include racial slurs or other inflamatory remarks that are always obviously intentional attempts at grabbing attention), but let's give the future readers of this thread a little suspense. I'll drop the posting if everybody takes a chill pill and puts away the disgruntled postman attire... for any postal servants that post on this board, ignore that last comment... also, forget that I said you were "servants", I of course meant to say "independent postal employees who don't do anything they don't want to do".

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lunch with my girlfriend of 8 years who, surprise surprise, I don't stab with knives like ketchup bottles. Seriously though Menard, you might wanna drop Evil Ernie as your representative. The guy kills women and children in violent and gory methods all the time. Don't want anyone digging that tidbit up if you ever get into politics. Also, for future reference, I hold Abraham Lincoln in the highest regard, so if anyone ever makes a joke about him, I'll f*cking kill you... Stay beautiful kids. Love ya. Mean it.  

Disclaimer (obviously I need to put these up now...): the preceeding post was made in the sense that it should be read by a guy with a cheesy mustache who some might mistake for a lounge singer who's always "on", complete with finger snaps and "double guns" hand motions and eye winks. Kinda like Matt Dillon in There's Something About Mary or one of those fast talking agent-types in Hollywood movies.

Again with the veiled insults and baiting. You are obviously not stupid, but you do lack a consideration for others just to simply entertain yourself.

The general gist which has kept this forum a place to unwind and freely communicate with others is the ability of one member to tell another if they have gone too far and for that to be taken into consideration.

I have said things for which I apologized (another gasp falls over the board). Even if I didn't think it was insulting, or certainly did not mean it that way, smoothing things over with a fellow board member is more important than my ego (okay, you can all stop gasping now).

This is an open forum. As such, if something comes to a debate over a public post, it needs to be debated in the open, IMO. Using the PM system, to me, is going behind Andrew's back, and the backs of the other board members if it is a subject which does concern all of them. If you want to send me a PM to tell me you love me, or whisper sweet nothings to me (ewwwww) that is fine, but I am not going to debate a public topic through the PM system.

We have taken this thread way off subject. This could have been avoided by someone simply having taken a board member's (OVERLY POLITE!!!) suggestion under consideration, rather than lobbing insults and making up excuses for oneself.

Your belittling remarks have earned you another negative karma. If I can't give it to you today, I will make a note and give it to you tomorrow. Uh...if I forget...be sure to remind me.


I apologize to Andrew and the members of the board for this going off-topic like it has.

[Susan]

I like my batteries like I like my men, long lasting and disposable when finished


muahaha

[Snivelly]

I like my men like I like my cheesecake......rich, always satisfying, and easy to find right at the grocery store.

[AnubisVonMojo]

Your belittling remarks have earned you another negative karma. If I can't give it to you today, I will make a note and give it to you tomorrow. Uh...if I forget...be sure to remind me.

Eery six hours princess. Have fun with that! 

[Andrew]

I like my produce like I like my women, fresh and locally grown.

I like my corn on the cob like I like my women, hot and best when nibbled.

I like my motorcycles like I like my women, fun to ride on the weekends and loud.

[Dennis]

I like my cars like I like my women, easy to drive, with matching headlights and a great looking grille.

[AnubisVonMojo]

I like my cars like I like my women, easy to drive, with matching headlights and a great looking grille.

You mean like Alyson Hannigan in Date Movie? 

[Dennis]

Actually when I posted this I was thinking of something that I believe I saw on the Discovery Channel, of all places,
in a program about the Ford Motor Company. The narrator got to the Ford Edsel, designed by Edsel Ford, and said that the grille on the Edsel was purposely designed to resemble Edsel's favorite part of the female anatomy, I don't know if it's true.

You decide.

[Trevor]

I'm going to change this slightly:

I like my BadMovies.org friends (even if they might disagree sometimes) to be friends and give each other a hug now and then.

Sorry for the glurge but I just feel that way right now.

[DodgingGrunge]

I've enjoyed this thread but have avoided posting to it for fear of being overly lewd (I'm not well known for my tact, as any of you who've seen my site could attest).  But what the heck, I was only planning on living until my death anyway.

I like my coffee like I like my women-in-prison film protagonists:  single-origin and predictable.

I like my cigarettes like I like my women: slow-burning fuse and deadly.

I like my zombies like I like my women: taking things slowly and appreciating a good brain.

I like my men like Tom Savini.  What?!?  That's it.   

All right, here's one with a disclaimer.  All apologies up front, but holding it in is like trying to hold in a sneeze.  I'm still trying to gauge the level of tolerance here, so please, if there are objections do advise and I'll edit it out.
I like my prophets like I like my women:  preachy but full of holes.

[flackbait]

This is way off topic, but those edsels are some UGLY cars, especially the grill. And yes it does kinda look like that body part.

[AnubisVonMojo]

I like my sexually uninhibited Arctic bears like I like my women: bi-polar

I like my Oreos like I like my porn actresses: doubled stuffed

[Andrew]

Going to resurrect this thread, just because a new one popped up today as Katie was baking cakes.

I like my women like I like my cakes:  full of rum, upside down, and with pineapple on top.

[Fausto]

"I like my coffee like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them."
             - Eddie Izzard

And mine:

I like my horror movies like I like my women: colorful and x-rated

I like my women like I like my vanilla sundaes: white and covered in chocolate syrup

And this is pretty gross, but what the heck:
I like my women like I like my bowel movements: smooth and satisfying

[indianasmith]

I refuse to post in this thread on the grounds that it may tend to incriminate me . . .



if my wife ever reads it!