Goofus and Gallant. Where do I begin? This little comic strip posted in Highlights magazine (which I even thought was lame when I was a kid) for children really p**ses me off. Let's start with Goofus- what a total effing chuckle head.
See what I mean? Now, Ive been known to drink streight from the faucet on ocassion, but Goofus never washes his hands, never says please or thank you, and cuts in front of people in the lunch line. I just want to grab the little bastard and say. "HEY! Cut the CRAP before someone gets fed up and kicks your teeth down your throat!"
But who can blame him when his counterpart is a total butt like Gallant?
screw you, Gallant. I'd bet you shoved that in Goofus's little chuckle head face later, didn't you? "Ha ha. I stood still like a little b!tch while you felt the need to run! You're such a freak!!!" Maybe Goofus had to take a crap, Gallant. If you keep this up, Goffus is likely to commit suicide. He'll grab an eraser, and erase the hell out of himself. Then how would you feel?
This brings me to my point- what is this teaching our children? If you forget to wash your hands, or if you stay up late watching TV, you will end up on the streets sucking men off for a couple bucks. At the same time, if you act like a total jackass, you'll have a yacht, lots of money, and a beautiful wife.
I suggest we add a new character to the Goofus and Gallant saga. We will call him Guy. Goofus, Gallant, and Guy. Guy will screw up every once and a while, but he always means well. A normal dude. He will actually be likeable, and can relate to kids. But Highlights is lame anyway, so who cares?