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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Beneath Loch Ness « previous next »
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Author Topic: Beneath Loch Ness  (Read 1704 times)
CoreyHeldpen
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« on: April 26, 2007, 11:09:56 AM »

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I'm all for a cryptozoology-themed monster movie. I've been hardcore into the study of animals rumoured to exist ever since I was a little kid. Now being a monster movie fanatic, I put Beneath Loch Ness number 1 on my Netflix list. After watching the film, I think I could've waited a little longer to see it.

The back of the case the DVD came in promised some people trapped in a maze-like cave under Loch Ness with Nessie following them with murderous intent, and the aforementioned victims having to "use every high-tech weapon at their disposal to make it back to the surface alive!" That description only describes the last fifteen minutes or so. Up until then its people being attacked by a p**sed-off Nessie, recently freed by an earthquake, on the surface of the lake. One day, I'd like to see a Killer Nessie flick that features the Loch Ness Monster hauling itself on to land and terrorizing a nearby town. And I don't mean just its head and neck flopping around chewing on soldiers near the targeted village, like in 1982's Loch Ness Horror.  The inflatable beach toy monster in that film is the eighties equivalent to the PS1-level CGI abomination here.

First, the good. Some of the acting here is actually pretty decent. And there is one effects shot where I found myself saying "That's pretty cool." It also does something kind of neat, having a dead monster wash up on shore, soon to be revealed to be the recent meal of the real threat, which is still in the Loch. Now for the bad. Nessie is incredibly cheesy looking, and even though the acting is better than usual for this kind of movie, the actors still have a rather weak script to work with. You know something isn't quite right when you've got a monster movie rated PG13 for language.

There's also plenty of stupidity. For instance, one character's son was killed 17 years earlier by the monster, causing him to slap on some Braveheart face paint when he gets a chance to settle the score. Another scene has two characters arguing about not exploiting a friend's death for prime time television, and then suddenly revealing that they were at one point in time married, and then right in the middle of the argument, they suddenly begin kissing passionately. It should also be noted that even when presented with a dead body and crystal clear photographic evidence, some skeptics will still say the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist.

Beneath Loch Ness isn't an absolutely terrible movie. There are far worse ways to spend an hour and a half. But there are also far better.

SCORE:  Smile Smile
« Last Edit: July 16, 2007, 10:10:21 PM by CoreyHeldpen » Logged

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« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2007, 11:32:16 AM »

I saw this one, and I was thinking about adding it to my NetFlix queue also when I realized if I brought anything into my house with the name "Loch Ness" on it, my kids would beg to watch and I try to avoid the PG-13s because of their ages.  Based on your review it doesn't sound like I missed much.

I don't think there could ever really be a good monster movie based on cryptozoology.  The reason I say that is because in order for it to be a thriller, they have to portray the beastie as attacking humans, and outside of creatures like werewolves or Mothman, which are definitely more in the realm of the paranormal, there just aren't all that many reports of cryptids attacking humans.  There are only a few exceptions I can think of offhand, such as the boy in Illinois attacked by a giant bird in 1977 and a few Bigfoot reports.  So, in order to make the movie exciting, they have to throw on cheesy ideas such as the movie you mentioned above with Nessie chomping on people who get too close to the water.   

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« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2007, 12:37:58 PM »

I saw this when it DVD years ago and I thought it was a slightly above average direct to dvd flick.

SPOILERS AHEAD, STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS FLICK!



My only qualm with the film is that the "traditional Nessie" isn't the main culprit, but is in fact a meal for the film's main monster which is far less appealing. Still, it was a decent effort and its good to see a NEW Loch Ness Monster flick. (I can only think of two other ones offhand, including "The Loch Ness Horror" which I've been dying to see for years and "Incident at Loch Ness" which I found rather enjoyable. Kudos to Zack Penn and Werner Herzog!)
« Last Edit: April 27, 2007, 11:11:09 PM by Jordan » Logged

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« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2007, 12:45:33 PM »

Quote
Incident at Loch Ness

Zak Penn: At least we're not dragging the boat over a hill...
Werner Herzog: What was that?
Zak Penn: Uh... nothing.

 BounceGiggle
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CoreyHeldpen
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I think these komodos need to leave this cruise.


« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2007, 05:01:59 PM »

I saw this when it DVD years ago and I thought it was a slightly above average direct to dvd flick.

SPOILERS AHEAD, STOP READING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS FLICK!



My only qualm with the film is that the "traditional Nessie" isn't the main culprit, but is in fact a meal for the film's main monster which is far less appealing. Still, it was a decent effort and its good to see a NEW Loch Ness Monster flick. (I can only think of two other ones offhand, including "The Loch Ness Horror" which I've been dying to see for years and "Incident at Loch Ness" which I found rather enjoyable. Kudos to Zack Snyder and Werner Herzog!)

Well, like I said, Beneath Loch Ness isn't a terrible movie. There are far worse ways to kill an hour and a half.  And indeed, Incident At Loch Ness was a good flick!
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