I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I'm all for a cryptozoology-themed monster movie. I've been hardcore into the study of animals rumoured to exist ever since I was a little kid. Now being a monster movie fanatic, I put Beneath Loch Ness
number 1 on my Netflix list. After watching the film, I think I could've waited a little longer to see it.
The back of the case the DVD came in promised some people trapped in a maze-like cave under Loch Ness with Nessie following them with murderous intent, and the aforementioned victims having to "use every high-tech weapon at their disposal to make it back to the surface alive!" That description only describes the last fifteen minutes or so. Up until then its people being attacked by a p**sed-off Nessie, recently freed by an earthquake, on the surface of the lake. One day, I'd like to see a Killer Nessie flick that features the Loch Ness Monster hauling itself on to land and terrorizing a nearby town. And I don't mean just its head and neck flopping around chewing on soldiers near the targeted village, like in 1982's Loch Ness Horror
. The inflatable beach toy monster in that film is the eighties equivalent to the PS1-level CGI abomination here.
First, the good. Some of the acting here is actually pretty decent. And there is one effects shot where I found myself saying "That's pretty cool." It also does something kind of neat, having a dead monster wash up on shore, soon to be revealed to be the recent meal of the real threat, which is still in the Loch. Now for the bad. Nessie is incredibly cheesy looking, and even though the acting is better than usual for this kind of movie, the actors still have a rather weak script to work with. You know something isn't quite right when you've got a monster movie rated PG13 for language.
There's also plenty of stupidity. For instance, one character's son was killed 17 years earlier by the monster, causing him to slap on some Braveheart
face paint when he gets a chance to settle the score. Another scene has two characters arguing about not exploiting a friend's death for prime time television, and then suddenly revealing that they were at one point in time married, and then right in the middle of the argument, they suddenly begin kissing passionately. It should also be noted that even when presented with a dead body and crystal clear photographic evidence, some skeptics will still say the Loch Ness Monster doesn't exist.Beneath Loch Ness
isn't an absolutely terrible movie. There are far worse ways to spend an hour and a half. But there are also far better.