film makers who deserve to be shot in the foot!

[respectmeordye3]

What kind of film makers deserve to be shot in the foot in your opinion?

Mine center around people who make sequels or remakes---without ever having to apparently seen the original movie.

The Shaggy Dog is a good example---Tim Allen was a good choice but they changed the whole premise IMHO. I mean yes he still magically changes into a dog sure but the way it happened was about as lame as you could get. I'll stick with the "cursed ring" idea and not the "magic dog germs" one thank you very much.

Planet Of The Apes--the new one.

Look I know that the new one sticks closer to the original book, but the original movie was much better--sure the new movie had better makeup, but the ending was lame--and made it pointless in even bothering to see it when you realize there WAS no ending at all.

But let's say the movie did hypothetically have an ending--the movie still  woulda sucked. I mean of all the action stars you could cast for the role and you chose Marky Mark? That's like remaking Rambo with Clay Aiken or a Backstreet boy in Stallone's role!


And let's not forget Home Alone 4---whoever did the writing  definetly did not watch the last three movies--the first two being the most important.

They got most of the characters wrong--Harry and Marv are the same guy and Kevin looks like the new kid from HA3 for crying out loud!

[Menard]

Why not just aim for the head, or at least the nads. Shooting them in the foot won't stop them.


My choices:

J.R. Bookwalter: Although I could name John Killough, he has only directed one movie, and thank goodness for that. Nonetheless, J.R. Bookwalter is the one any untalented hack who has made a camcorder movie can go to in order to get it distributed, and not get paid in the end.

Michael Bay: Simply the master of the forgettable. Although I did enjoy The Rock, it does, like Bay's work in general, lack much of anything memorable. Michael Bay's movies are like looking at a pretty picture that really doesn't say anything; you'll forget it soon after.

[Torgo]

Michael Bay


Renny Harlin


Uwe Boll


Brett Ratner

[KYGOTC]

Joel Sholemocker (spelling?) deserves a shot in the foot for both of his batman movies, as does anyone who decides to put rubber nipples on the bat suits and cast Arnlod Swashzinager over Patrick Stewart for Mr. Freeze, an infinant amount of other reasons.

Quinnton Taronteeno deserves maybe not a shot in the foot, but a good slap in the face for Death Proof, which was really dissipointing and could have been soooo much better than it was, but at least he tried.

[Torgo]

Quinnton Taronteeno deserves maybe not a shot in the foot, but a good slap in the face for Death Proof, which was really dissipointing and could have been soooo much better than it was, but at least he tried.

I actually liked Death Proof a whole lot and am looking forward to his extended director's cut on DVD that fleshes out Stuntman Mike's backstory a great deal.

I thought that Quentin Tarantino did a good job and actually made a true exploitation movie.  It didn't bore me at all.  Maybe that had something to do with how gorgeous all of the women were in it!

[AnubisVonMojo]

Or just insanely entertaining and over-the-top Kurt Russell became once the proverbial tables got their cliched turning. "Careful! My right leg's broken! *crack* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

heh heh

As far as directors that need to die, Uwe Boll and Michael Bay most definitely. Leave it to a protein stain like Bay to turn me off of the idea of a live-action Transformers movie...

Additionally, I think guys like Wes Craven and Charles Band need to walk away from movies immediately and cease any and all creative involvement to salvage what little dignity they have left.

[Allhallowsday]

Planet Of The Apes--the new one.
Look I know that the new one sticks closer to the original book, but the original movie was much better--sure the new movie had better makeup, but the ending was lame--and made it pointless in even bothering to see it when you realize there WAS no ending at all.
But let's say the movie did hypothetically have an ending--the movie still  woulda sucked. I mean of all the action stars you could cast for the role and you chose Marky Mark? That's like remaking Rambo with Clay Aiken or a Backstreet boy in Stallone's role!

Despite what commentators might tell you, and though the ending bears the slightest resemblance to Pierre Boulle's novel, literally, "La Planète des singes" (which opens a whole 'nother discussion) the "remake" owes much more to the original film than to the novel. 

[DodgingGrunge]

Additionally, I think guys like ... Charles Band need to walk away from movies immediately and cease any and all creative involvement to salvage what little dignity they have left.

YES!!!!  God, I remember when Full Moon was the single most entertaining production company in the world... for what, like three years?  Haha.  Demonic Toys is still one of my shameful favorites.

[Quentin Tarantino] deserves maybe not a shot in the foot, but a good slap in the face for Death Proof, which was really dissipointing and could have been soooo much better than it was, but at least he tried.

KYGOTC, I think Tarantino did a wonderful job with Death Proof.  I suspect you might be too young to be familiar with the movies Tarantino was paying homage too with DP, which would understandably affect its enjoyability.  If you have any interest in crappy (meant lovingly) car exploitation, check out films like Gone in 60 Seconds, Vanishing Point, and Wheels of Terror.  Heck, even silly things like Cannonball Run would shed a little light on this film. 

You have to admit though, K.N.B. did an excellent job with the 4-angle car crash!

[fortunato]

Michael Bay
McG
Uwe Boll
Any puppet director serving the Dark Lord Jerry Bruckheimer.

[KYGOTC]

[Quentin Tarantino] deserves maybe not a shot in the foot, but a good slap in the face for Death Proof, which was really dissipointing and could have been soooo much better than it was, but at least he tried.

KYGOTC, I think Tarantino did a wonderful job with Death Proof.  I suspect you might be too young to be familiar with the movies Tarantino was paying homage too with DP, which would understandably affect its enjoyability.  If you have any interest in crappy (meant lovingly) car exploitation, check out films like Gone in 60 Seconds, Vanishing Point, and Wheels of Terror.  Heck, even silly things like Cannonball Run would shed a little light on this film. 

You have to admit though, K.N.B. did an excellent job with the 4-angle car crash!

Actually, I've been meaning to see DEATHRACE 2000.
And yes the car scenes were great, but there wasnt enough of them. Most of the film was just girls going on and on about boys. If i wanted that, I'd watch the Disney channel. Or go to school.

[Torgo]

Or just insanely entertaining and over-the-top Kurt Russell became once the proverbial tables got their cliched turning. "Careful! My right leg's broken! *crack* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yeah, that had me laughing like I haven't laughed in a while.

In fact, the whole theater started clapping and cheering at the final freeze frame shot of Death Proof. That hasn't happened in hardly any movies that I've seen in the theater.

Yet again, I'm perplexed as to how Grindhouse bombed like it has.

[AnubisVonMojo]

My four big beliefs on why Grindhouse failed financially:

The 'R' rating forced people under 18 to buy tickets to crap like Are We Done Yet? so they could instead sneak into the Grindhouse screenings once their tickets were torn, thus leading to an imbalance of other movies getting Grindhouse's money.

The three hours required to sit through both movies turned off both the people unable to extend their attention spans that long and those unable to hold their bladder for the same reason.

Too many people are perfectly satisfied with waiting until movies come out on DVD so they can rent them for half the price of a f*cking movie ticket and watch it when they get around to it, rather than bending to a theater's showtimes and "inconvenience" themselves. I can't blame them for the price thing, but come on, between myself, my girlfriend and my friends, I've already plopped down $40 so we could see it and I've seen it twice myself so far BECAUSE IT'S THAT DAMN GOOD!

The general movie-going public is mentally retarded and won't see a good movie unless you threaten to beat them with a broken pipe Zoe Bell style first. Even then I'm afraid they'd rather lie there and bleed to death on the sidewalk as opposed to buying a ticket for any movie not starring Adam Sandler or somebody with the last name Wayans...

On a good note, Robert Rodriguez has said he's turning Machete into a full length feature to be released on DVD alongside Grindhouse, whenever that ends up being...

[Mr_Vindictive]

My four big beliefs on why Grindhouse failed financially:

The 'R' rating forced people under 18 to buy tickets to crap like Are We Done Yet? so they could instead sneak into the Grindhouse screenings once their tickets were torn, thus leading to an imbalance of other movies getting Grindhouse's money.

The three hours required to sit through both movies turned off both the people unable to extend their attention spans that long and those unable to hold their bladder for the same reason.

Too many people are perfectly satisfied with waiting until movies come out on DVD so they can rent them for half the price of a f*cking movie ticket and watch it when they get around to it, rather than bending to a theater's showtimes and "inconvenience" themselves. I can't blame them for the price thing, but come on, between myself, my girlfriend and my friends, I've already plopped down $40 so we could see it and I've seen it twice myself so far BECAUSE IT'S THAT DAMN GOOD!

The general movie-going public is mentally retarded and won't see a good movie unless you threaten to beat them with a broken pipe Zoe Bell style first. Even then I'm afraid they'd rather lie there and bleed to death on the sidewalk as opposed to buying a ticket for any movie not starring Adam Sandler or somebody with the last name Wayans...

On a good note, Robert Rodriguez has said he's turning Machete into a full length feature to be released on DVD alongside Grindhouse, whenever that ends up being...

Or # 5:

The film didn't play near the people who were dying to see it and when they finally had a chance to drive 2 hours to a larger theater, it had already passed.



At least that was my case.

[DodgingGrunge]

Another obstacle to Grindhouse's success was the fact that it was crappy.  And I mean that in a loving way.  It was scratched, jumpy, cheesy.  While we all know this was intentional (and brilliant!), that doesn't mean the average filmgoer would appreciate sitting through it.  Kill Bill was filled with references and tributes to exploitation as well, but it was still clean and modern-looking.  This falls along the same lines as the ear-bleeding line, "I don't watch black and white movies."  *shudder*

I think one of the reasons so many great horror movies are being remade as of late is that while the original stories were great, the films themselves were too old-looking for modern movie audiences.  I had a hell of a time convincing anyone to watch the original Hills Have Eyes, even if they enjoyed the remake.

[flackbait]

I think I'll agree with  DodgingGrunge. Most people will have a hard time watching any old movie even if it's a timeless classic.