I has a penis

[Menard]

I would say that any movie starring Steven Seagal is a penis flick.  Along with 48 Hours and Fletch.  But The Blues Brothers isn't because although it is one big car chase after another there is an actual plot behind it all. 

48 Hours is without a plot?

Penis movies, such as those I listed, are not plotless. Most of Steven Seagal's early films, and a few of his latter ones have well developed plots. I'll give you the one on Chuck Norris films.

There are some movies, such as the original (1974) Gone in 60 Seconds which work well with hardly a plot to the film, but few can do that as they just become tedious and boring without soething that ties it all together and gives you a reason to want to see the next scene.

If we want to talk about films which are lacking, let's bring up chick flicks. I think a variation of what Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets could be applied here: take away all reason and accountability. Why would someone want to spend money to be inundated with someone else's relationship woes and general life problems? As a bartender, a salesperson, and a photographer I got enough of that for free, and I didn't even want it.

Yes, it is great when a movie provides us with something to take with us. I am an absolute fan of My Dinner with Andre which consists entirely of a conversation between two men; no car chases, lesbian scenes, slashers, or anything else like that. Ultimately, though, or why else would we be here on this site, we simply want to be entertained by a movie and don't care if it is Steven Seagal or the Brady Bunch that does it, so long as it entertains. If it provides a hard-on along the way, even better.

*Ewww...I just grossed myself out by mentioning Steven Seagal and hard-on in the same breath.


BTW, have you met Susan?

[Snivelly]

I DO NOT WATCH CHICK FLICKS!  Never ever ever!  So although you disagree with my classification of 48 Hours as a penis flick, please don't assume that just because I'm female I chose to waste my time with ridiculous films about stupid women and wimpy-ass girly men.  Damn, that's almost an ad hominem on your part! 

Saying a movie is a penis flick doesn't have to imply that it doesn't have a plot, perhaps I should have explained myself better in my original post.  But there are a great many movies aimed towards men that are indeed just a movie-length car chase or music video, such as The Fast and the Furious.

*Ewww...I just grossed myself out by mentioning Steven Seagal and hard-on in the same breath.

Ummm, thanks....I was eating, but now, maybe not......

[Menard]

...such as The Fast and the Furious.

I hated that movie. I don't know which was pussier; the cars or the men in that movie.

[Menard]

I DO NOT WATCH CHICK FLICKS!  Never ever ever!

Careful. Sean Connery got a movie title out of having said 'never again'.

An interesting quirk of human behavior is that we have a tendency to protest most loudly those things which are closest to home for us.

In other words: what was the last chick flick you watched?

[Snivelly]

In other words: what was the last chick flick you watched?

I can't remember.  I think the last one was probably Steel Magnolias a looong time ago, because I had moved back home briefly and my mother had the remote.  She would always beg me to watch that crap with her.

I would rather spend the evening jabbing myself in the eye with a nicely chilled salad fork than suffer through any romantic comedy, or any movie set during the era of corsets unless there's a war or mystery involved. 

[Menard]

I would rather spend the evening jabbing myself in the eye with a nicely chilled salad fork than suffer through any romantic comedy, or any movie set during the era of corsets unless there's a war or mystery involved. 

I thoroughly enjoyed the Masterpiece Theatre presentation of George Eliot's (Mary Ann Evans) Middlemarch. It is a period piece, but some could argue that it is a ultimately a chick flick.

[Snivelly]

I didn't see that production, but since I really enjoyed the novel I'd probably watch that.  But the noel was far from a romance, it was about social conditions and mobility in Victorian England, and the only real romance angle would have been the attraction between the doctor with the gold-digging wife and the wealthy young woman who worked as a social reformist.  But in the book nothing ever came of it, if I remember correctly.

And enough of this, I'm done threadjacking here!  Back to penis flicks........

[Menard]

I'm done threadjacking here!

[JaseSF]

I love old-time romantic classics myself. Most of them are timeless escapism at its finest. The best ones I like tend to have the guy laughing his butt off (usually in a playful fashion though) at the female lead. Don't know if that means anything but still, there it is.

[Menard]

I love old-time romantic classics myself. Most of them are timeless escapism at its finest. The best ones I like tend to have the guy laughing his butt off (usually in a playful fashion though) at the female lead. Don't know if that means anything but still, there it is.

I'm formulating a theory as we speak. It don't look good for you.

[JaseSF]

Honestly I frequently find myself laughing at women in reality too. But hey, I laugh at myself too.

[Menard]

The ultimate penis movie?

Dare I?


The Road Warrior

You know it, you love it; and if you don't you need to have your head screwed back on.

No matter how many times the Mad Max movies have had a thread dedicated to them, they always get responses.

If asked the question 'how many times can the same person reply with The Road Warrior rocks', the answer is likely to be 'as many times as someone else can post about it'.

This is also a movie that can make a man cry; we all shed a tear when Max's car blows up.

Is this the ultimate penis movie?

If not, what would be your choice?

[Torgo]

*Ewww...I just grossed myself out by mentioning Steven Seagal and hard-on in the same breath.

[JaseSF]

ROAD WARRIOR.

I have to agree with Menard on that one.

Personally I think giant robots are a penis thing. Movies with giant robots and other futuristic technology will definitely appeal more to the guys IMO. From my experience, women tend to be into fantasy and adventure while most guys are more enthralled with sci-fi and action.

[ulthar]

ROAD WARRIOR.

I have to agree with Menard on that one.

Well, as much as I've been trying to avoid this thread, I have to agree, too.  ROAD WARRIOR pretty much captures the essence of what a film SHOULD be.

And Torgo, ROFL at that picture.  It looks just ole Stevie!