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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Name those movie clichés ... « previous next »
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Author Topic: Name those movie clichés ...  (Read 36127 times)
CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #30 on: July 08, 2007, 09:53:52 PM »

Any movie set in Africa will have a animal stampede and at least one ill tempered elephant.
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Oldskool138
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« Reply #31 on: July 08, 2007, 10:16:13 PM »

I forgot one...

-The grizzled veteran character sees something crazy and says something to the effect of "I've been a (fill in job description) for 25 years and I've never seen anything like this."

This character is usually played by Scott Glenn.  TeddyR

BTW, Thanks for the karma!  I've been using the word "douche-baggery" for about a year now.  Enjoy!
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Snivelly
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« Reply #32 on: July 08, 2007, 10:22:52 PM »

Oh, in any horror movie set in the outdoors, any group of Native Americans, Africans, or whatever will have the old mystical shaman who warns of what is about to come although no one will listen.  Or instead of a shaman the person will be a semi-mystical expert tracker with an uncanny ability to tell what they're tracking.
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Inyarear
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« Reply #33 on: July 09, 2007, 10:27:24 AM »

--The bad guys are always exploitive capitalists; socialist busybodies are always the good guys. Sometimes the dichotomy is Republicans bad, Democrats good, or sometimes it's big corporations bad, big government good, but all Hollywood films and most indie films despise the free market (except, you know, that part of the free market that buys the movies).

--Magic is always perfectly good and acceptable for the protagonists to practice. No one but wild-eyed evangelicals ever objects to occult practices, these one-dimensional characters never turn out to be right, and magic is never discovered to be evil after all. (Sometimes there's some distinction offered between "good" and "evil" magic, but the good guys are always permitted to dabble in some kind of sorcery.)

--If a handsome male and beautiful female are the main characters, they will inevitably end up getting naked and going at it with each other at some point during the movie. Marriage of any kind will be neither any requirement nor any obstacle to their having at least one gratuitous sex scene with each other.

--Speaking of gratuitous sex, no one ever gets pregnant or catches any really nasty STDs from it unless that's what the whole movie is about in the first place (i.e. the movie Knocked Up). For example, you will never see any of James Bond's women suing him for child support or medical expenses.

--Incidentally, there's never any "safe sex" in any of these movies either. On extremely rare occasions, someone may deliver a brief endorsement of contraceptives, but you will never actually see anyone using them during the aforementioned gratuitous sex scenes.

--The presence of a monster or any other horror film elements will also prove to be no impediment to having a gratuitous sex scene. In fact, chances are the gratuitous sex scene will prove to be the perfect opportunity for the monster to attack.

--Moreover, even if the fornicators/adulterers in question are horror movie buffs, they will inevitably fail to take a lesson from these films and abstain.

--This goes for drugs and alcohol too: even if they know something wicked this way comes, any movie characters at a party will insist on getting smashed and/or stoned.

--A gun will always "go off" if someone drops it; even if the clip is out, there's always a bullet in the chamber.

--The last big fight scene can never be shorter than ten minutes. No one ever just drops in, shoots the bad guy, and drops out again. (Well, Indiana Jones does that, but never in the last big fight scene.)

--In any film starring Arnold Schwartzenegger, at least one bad pun about a bad guy's death is obligatory.

--Space ships always produce a loud Doppler Effect as they swing by the camera; laser weapons always fire brightly-colored noisy laser bolts, not the silent (and mostly invisible) incendiary rays that actual laser technology produces.

--The hero can automatically use any computer console, even if it's an extraterrestrial's computer console.

--Environmentalists are always the good guys. If they are not the good guys, then they're part of a splinter group that has nothing whatsoever to do with mainstream environmentalism.

--Women are always smart and men are always stupid.

I leave you with a one more movie cliché law I've recently discovered:

Inyarear's Law of Corrective Mortality:

If a character in a horror movie is just too stupid to have lived as long as the movie claims he has, he will nevertheless restore a measure of realism to the film by getting himself killed in it.
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The Burgomaster
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« Reply #34 on: July 09, 2007, 11:17:08 AM »

* How about when the hero has a huge argument with an older guy.  Then the older guy turns out to be the father of the woman the hero is trying to impress.

* When people get shot in the shoulder or leg or some other "non-vital" place, they never pass out or writhe on the ground, bleeding profusely and screaming in pain.  They just grab their shoulder or continue to limp along on their injured leg as if they are only experiencing minor discomfort.

* The hero barely escapes from the villain's lair before it explodes in a gigantic fireball.  Yet the hero never suffers serious burns, is never torn apart by shrapnel, and does not experience even temporary hearing impairment from the sound of the blast.

* The President or other major political character is played by Morgan Freeman, Martin Sheen or Ronny Cox.  (Not a cliche . . . just an observation)

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« Reply #35 on: July 09, 2007, 11:49:25 AM »

The police, the Army and National Guard are all useless -- but never fear, the day will be saved by some kids and their special gear made of components available at any Radio Shack.

Aliens know nothing of love and need to be educated on the matter by hunky astronauts.  They will take to the lessons like a duck takes to water.

All aliens speak English.
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Jack
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« Reply #36 on: July 09, 2007, 04:00:39 PM »

--Incidentally, there's never any "safe sex" in any of these movies either. On extremely rare occasions, someone may deliver a brief endorsement of contraceptives, but you will never actually see anyone using them during the aforementioned gratuitous sex scenes.

Well, if they try to buy condoms, the girl's father (who is either the town sheriff or minister) always catches them at the drug store.
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Oldskool138
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« Reply #37 on: July 09, 2007, 04:13:48 PM »

And another one I forgot

-Anything, and I mean anything that contains a trace of alcohol will burst into flames when flame is applied to it.  This includes:  beer, vodka, schnapps, liqueur,  rum balls, etc...
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He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe........
-Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves)

That gum you like is going to come back in style.
-The Man from Another Place
ulthar
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« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2007, 05:12:00 PM »

* Cops and soldiers, who would NEVER go around carrying an unloaded gun, check their gun before a big confrontation to make sure it is loaded.

* Dudes, who SHOULD already have their guns loaded, will work the action of semi-autos or autos ("rack the slide") to emphasize a point or announce they are serious.  Sometimes, they will do this multiple times (wasting the cartridge last loaded...).

* Annoying or lovable sidekick gets shot, hero yells "NOOOOOOO" then continues the fight.  Bad guy gets the best of hero, only to be shot/hit in the head/stabbed/etc by the wounded, and presumably dead, sidekick just before killing the hero.

* While a good guy is hiding from a bad guy, and the bad guy(s) is searching, the bad guy talks -- "I'm gonna get you" or some similar lines, thus announcing to the hiding person right where he is.

* Shining a light in the face of someone wearing night vision gear will cause them to wince in great pain and be temporarily blinded.

* Submarine movies must show the sub going to, or below, crush depth while everyone hopes she holds together.

* The entire plot of buddy-cop movies is a cliche.  They cannot stand each other but learn to work together, ultimately being friends by the end.
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CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2007, 10:03:35 PM »

Any movie with Dinosaurs and people, somebodies getting eaten.  Guaranteed!!
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JaseSF
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« Reply #40 on: July 09, 2007, 10:45:59 PM »

When human beings go up against a giant monster, they'll often use a giant robot with some type of armor or they'll get inside some type of large and mobile mechanical device that puts them in close to the same playing field size-wise.
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peter johnson
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« Reply #41 on: July 09, 2007, 11:41:20 PM »

InYerear:
Hmm . . . I detect a subtle cultural consistency to your post . . .
     Can't say I wholly agree with the bit about the "magic" -- Seems to me I can think of any number of films -- Equinox, The Evil Dead, Wicker Man, Dunwich Horror,etc. etc. -- wherein all and sundry are viciously PUNISHED for casual or "playful" magic use, and even ritual ceremonial magic that they supposedly control.
     And, really, aside from an Ayn Rand adaptation, how do you imagine the heroic Capitalist Stooge riding to the rescue?  Well, Starship Troopers was sort of pro-Capitalist, and sorta creepy. Adam Smith just isn't as cinematic as Robespierre!  Frankly, I can think of any number of "Big Corporation Bad" cliche films -- the monster comes from pollution(it used to be radiation!)--, but can't come up with ANY "Big Government Good" cliches -- If it's a cliche, shouldn't I be able to think of just one? 
     The only "gubmint" cliches I can think of is that there's always a Big Government Conspiracy behind the irrational evil occurances/monsters/poison from the sky/etc. etc., which sort of goes against what you're proposing here.  I can think of dozens of those. Can YOU name any cliche films wherein "Big Government" is good?  Really, the only one I can come up with, and nobody I saw the film with took it seriously, was the end of "Born on The 4th of July", wherein the election of Carter (Carter!!) was supposed to be the dawning of a New Age.  Good for a giggle, but other than that one, I'm drawing a blank here.
     Gotta say the sex thing is pretty accurate, though!
     Ditto "noise in space" -- I've always HATED "noise in space", especially after the beautiful silent ships of 2001, and Silent Running.
     Speaking of Silent Running -- Just how WOULD one go about having a "mainstream Environmentalist" be portrayed as a villian?  I think there's a reason that some of the things you mention ain't likely to happen.
     Executing cute puppies and kittens in animal shelters is a horrible necessity, and those who do the dreadful task have a certain heroism, but I doubt strongly we will see either a heroic shelter gas-chamber operator or happy vivisectionist (Bonzo Dog Band!) portrayed on film.
peter johnson/denny crane
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CheezeFlixz
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« Reply #42 on: July 09, 2007, 11:55:50 PM »

Anytime there is a damsel in distress she's never a 2 bagger, she always a hottie, general wearing little to nothing (I'm fine with that BTW) and for some strange reason (I think this was mentioned already) she's wearing heels, then one breaks then she take them off, then she runs, then she steps on something and makes her limp, giving the monster, killer, stalker, rabid puppy, fuzzy bunny time to catch up with her ... almost, but alas she escape into a building slamming the door just as the monster, killer, stalker, rabid puppy, fuzzy bunny hits the door, while she leans against it, panting and whimpering as the door bangs behind her making her bounce off the door just a little. Sometimes she'll even scream something like 'Go away" "What do you want" Get out of here" or Leave me alone" as if she didn't know.
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DodgingGrunge
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« Reply #43 on: July 10, 2007, 02:34:20 AM »

Anytime there is a damsel in distress she's never a 2 bagger, she always a hottie, general wearing little to nothing (I'm fine with that BTW) and for some strange reason (I think this was mentioned already) she's wearing heels, then one breaks then she take them off, then she runs...

Yeah, it doesn't pay to wear heels...  The cinematic world is truly one of chauvinistic oppression, huh?  Heels are hot...

  • Newer films seem to feature blatant technology plugs when the protagonist is isolated and needs help.  They'll communicate via Yahoo IM or the latest LG cellphone, say.
  • Rube Goldberg-style traps have never gone out of style.  When it comes to killing hordes of monsters, it is best to devise elaborate traps... direct solutions like ammunition is useless.
  • It is in vogue to give the killer some last-minute sympathetic backstory which forces you to question your previous conceptions of good and evil.  This is an excellent distraction from obvious plotholes/absurdities.
  • The hero is often a displaced slacker, sexy but otherwise useless in a monsterless society.
  • A fat, unsociable Red Herring is amazingly useful when all of your protagonists are buxom lingerie models (à la Hard to Die and Evil Toons).
  • Giant monsters destroying a city aren't as appealing (demographically) as the struggles of a one-dimensional character (Deanzilla)
  • Supernatural entities wreak havoc on small cornfield towns, never quite making it to the big cities.
  • An outsider discovers a dark secret of a small cornfield town and more often than not, the mayor/sheriff is in on it.
  • The historical ramifications of time travel are limited to one party at a time.  Think about it.  If Skynet wanted to assassinate John Connor, couldn't they send an army of Terminators?  Or for that matter, why not devastate the 16th century?
  • Computer hackers can execute complex code on proprietary machines at roughly 200WPM, despite having no working knowledge of the system.
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Oldskool138
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« Reply #44 on: July 10, 2007, 06:43:49 AM »


The historical ramifications of time travel are limited to one party at a time.  Think about it.  If Skynet wanted to assassinate John Connor, couldn't they send an army of Terminators?  Or for that matter, why not devastate the 16th century?


I think they said in the first Terminator that the resistance blew up the time machine after they sent back Reese.  That being said, I do agree with you about time travel ramifications.  I think the only film to sort of get it right was the first Back to the Future.

There's only two ways to do a proper time travel movie.  Either no matter what the hero (or villain) tries to do, the future they came from will still be exactly the same due to their mucking around in the past...or the opposite happens, the future gets completely jacked up due to their meddling.  Besides, Einstein theorized that you could probably only travel to the future not the past.
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He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe........
-Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves)

That gum you like is going to come back in style.
-The Man from Another Place
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