It makes me curious to try one, but I'd have no idea how to even start preparing it.
1. Put live turtle in a 55 gal. drum for 7 days, to allow it to empty it's system, it helps with the smell. Keep fresh water in the drum. Scoop out the feces with a net.
2. Using channel locks, hold him tight by the mouth with neck stretched out. Cut off his head.
3. Hang him upside down to bleed out for about 30 minutes.
4. Put him on his back, cut claws and feet off.
5. Cut skin around shell top and bottom, cut and pull skin away from shell on the front legs until skin is removed.
6. On the soft shell belly outside edge of shell, cut through soft shell contact points and remove.
7. Remove guts and innards.
8. Remove front legs, may need to twist to break the joint.
9. Cut and peel skin from back legs and neck.
10. Remove back legs and neck, again twisting to break joints.
11. Leave meat on bone, but try to remove as much fat as possible.
12. Wash with cold water, repeat until clean.
13. Freeze submerged in water or cook.
What don't know how to cook it either? Jeez ...
ok here ...
or one of the ways it fixed around here ...
~ 1 turtle, cut into serving pieces
~ 1 stalk celery, chopped
~ 1 bell pepper, chopped
~ 1 medium onion, chopped
~ 1/2 tsp vinegar (I use apple cider vinegar)
~ salt and pepper
~ 1 bottle of your favorite bbq sauce (I prefer homemade or some of the local mom and pop brands)
Soak the turtle meat in salt water overnight or at least 1 hour.
In a large pot, place the turtle meat, celery, pepper, onion and vinegar. Salt and pepper to taste. Cover with water and bring to a boil.
Cover and simmer until meat is tender and ready to fall off the bone.
Remove meat and place into a baking dish. Pour the bbq sauce over the top. Bake at 375 degrees until sauce starts to bubble.
Reduce heat to 200 degrees and cook for 40 minutes. Baste often.
edit: PC Disclaimer, make sure you're not eating a endangered or threatened turtle.