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July 25, 2014, 08:45:26 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Sasquatch « previous next »
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Author Topic: Sasquatch  (Read 2025 times)
CoreyHeldpen
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« on: August 11, 2007, 09:16:42 AM »


You know you're monster movie is in trouble when the monster never starts its killing spree until the last twenty minutes. Lance Henrikson plays Harlen Knowles, the president of a  big corporation called BioComp, that specializes in genetics. The plane carrying the BioComp's latest success and Knowles' daughter crashes in the wilderness of the Pacific Coast, so Harlen takes a team out into the woods to find the downed craft. This team includes their complete jackass of a guide, a fanatical cryptozoology freak (its because of raving little pricks like this guy Cryptozoology has such a bad name), a b!tchy blond who's always trying to seduce Henrikson, and some others I can't be bothered to talk about.

Over time, the evidence something weird is going on becomes irrefutable. A bear is found with its neck broken with a blood-soaked stone, strange cave drawings are discovered, things like that. But only the rambling little weirdo is willing to believe something's screwy here. The evidence mounts until, finally, one hour into the movie, Sasquatch shows up and starts killing things.

The opportune word to describe this movie is "boring". Barely anything interesting happens. Its just annoying, poorly acted characters spouting lame dialogue until a goofy-looking bigfoot kills a couple of them. I mean, the sasquatch in this film looks like a demonic hula dancer. Seriously. A demonic hula dancer that sees in heat vision. Its actually kind of an interesting take on the creature. As ridiculous as it looks, its portrayed as an intelligent creature, using tools and weapons, burying its dead, making cave paintings, quite fascinating really.

The director tries a bunch of fancy tricks, like fish-eye lenses, Technicolour, slow-motion, but it rarely works. Lance Henrikson gives a decent performance, but you can tell just by looking at him that he wasn't quite enjoying the fact that he was a lead actor in this movie. Maybe the producers held his real daughter captive and wouldn't release unless Lance agreed to be in this film. Or maybe Henrikson just likes bigfoot movies, because he'd go on to be in two more, Sasquatch Mountain, and Abominable after this one. Both of those were quite a bit better than this one too.

You also know your monster movie is in trouble if its a DTV bigfoot flick starring an unhappy Lance Henrikson. Sasqutch was doomed from the start.

SCORE
 Smile 1/2 out of five
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Shadow
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« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2007, 09:41:36 AM »

I mean, the sasquatch in this film looks like a demonic hula dancer. Seriously. A demonic hula dancer that sees in heat vision.

I saw this film a few years back and that description is so spot on!  Thumbup  BounceGiggle

This film sucked. Thumbdown
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Shadow
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flackbait
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« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2007, 10:45:47 AM »

Some how i got suckered into watching this one by my friend and his girlfriend. Apparently they thought it was really scary and creepy. Anyone who's seen this knows its about as scary as a charging papermache moose. I still can not believe they thought it was scary.
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CoreyHeldpen
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I think these komodos need to leave this cruise.


« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2007, 03:14:17 PM »

Some how i got suckered into watching this one by my friend and his girlfriend. Apparently they thought it was really scary and creepy. Anyone who's seen this knows its about as scary as a charging papermache moose. I still can not believe they thought it was scary.

They were scared of the demonic hula dancer?
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"The only three things I hate are demons, malfunctioning robots, and monster movies that don't show you the monster."
flackbait
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The fate of the last door to door salesmen


« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2007, 04:05:04 PM »

Some how i got suckered into watching this one by my friend and his girlfriend. Apparently they thought it was really scary and creepy. Anyone who's seen this knows its about as scary as a charging papermache moose. I still can not believe they thought it was scary.

They were scared of the demonic hula dancer?
Maybe they had a phobia of hairy hula dancers. What I really think happened was his girlfriend thought it was scary so he "thought" it was scary.
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Kooshmeister
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Must have caffeine...


« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2007, 06:58:37 PM »

My boyfriend and I got through this film by referring to the title monster as the Big Hairy Naked Thing and joked that it, uh, did things to its victims. Y'know, like--aw, hell, we joked that it Surprise Buttsexed them to death.
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Raffine
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« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2007, 07:10:26 PM »

I offer this movie as further evidence for my much-disputed theory that Lance Henriksen is the new John Carradine.

« Last Edit: August 12, 2007, 09:11:15 AM by Raffine » Logged

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CoreyHeldpen
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I think these komodos need to leave this cruise.


« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2007, 12:30:56 PM »

Another reason why this film fails is the matter of how Bigfoot is vunerable to handguns oen moment, then completely bulletproof the next. The last scene involves Henrikson shooting Sasquatch, only to watch the bullet bounce off of its chest.
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