Recent viewings

[lester1/2jr]

it reminds me of when dogfishhead made a "good" 40 oz of malt liquor with like real ingredients. neat, but its still a 40

[FatFreddysCat]

I had a "Holiday Horror Crap-a-Thon" double feature today:

"The Elf" (2017)
On their way to a Christmas family gathering, a young couple stops at a run down old antique shop and unlocks an old chest, which frees a homicidal Christmas elf doll that follows them home. You can probably figure out the rest yourself.
...the poster art promises a low-rent combo of "Chucky" and  "Elf On The Shelf," which would've been fun to watch. However, this glacially paced, terribly over-acted and poorly edited flick soon becomes an incomprehensible friggin' mess involving dysfunctional family drama and ancient curses. Whaaaaat-ever. Zzzzzzz...
..and yet, God help us, they released a sequel to this thing ("Elves") last month! Yikes, I think I'll pass...

..moving on to the next cinematic lump of coal...
"A Christmas Slay" (2015)
Not to be confused with the far superior "Santa's Slay," this British horror flick follows three nubile single ladies who are planning to celebrate the holiday at a secluded ski chalet. Unfortunately, their revelry is interrupted by a Christmas Eve visit from an axe-wielding psycho in a Santa Claus costume. Screaming, cleavage, and ultra cheap gore ensues. Even the worst of the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" series looks like the Royal Shakespeare Company compared to this flick.
AVOID.

[FatFreddysCat]

My "Twisted Christmas" film fest took a slightly different turn last night...


"La Nuit Du Reveillon" (2013)
(aka "Silent Night, Bloody Night," according to Amazon Prime)

A French financier and his family are in the midst of their annual lavish Christmas Eve dinner party when a gun-toting home invader dressed as Santa takes everyone hostage and straps explosive belts on them. As the night goes on, it becomes clear that this Santa knows the dirty little secrets of everyone present, and uses them to turn everyone against each other.

Going strictly by the slightly-misleading English title (the film isn't very bloody), I expected this to be just another cheap killer-Santa flick, but it turned out to be a pretty tight little psychological/suspense thriller, apparently made for French TV. Obviously there's no connection to the early '70s yuletide ax-murder flick by the same name.

Worth a look if you understand French, or don't mind reading sub-titles.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Secret Santa" (2016)

The holiday horror crap keeps on comin'...

A houseful of college kids throw a holiday party complete with a "Secret Santa" gift exchange that goes wrong, and soon a ski masked murderer is knocking them all off one by one. 

This is one of those no budget "throwback" horror indies that tries to cop the vintage grind house vibe, complete with faux "scratches" on the film and a cheap, tinny 80s Casio style soundtrack. It was gory as hell and dumb as a box of rocks, but at less than 90 minutes long at least my suffering was minimal.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Austin Powers in Goldmember" (2002)
The third and final (?) "Austin" adventure sends the swingin' spy to the 1970s, where he meets ghetto-fabulous agent Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce) and rescues his kidnapped father (Michael Caine) from Dr. Evil and his new partner, the dreaded Goldmember.
Not as good as the preceding "Spy Who Shagged Me," but still worth a watch if you're a fan of the series.

[Svengoolie 3]

Billion dollar brain.  An interesting spy thriller with Michael Caine.  Also an oddly realistic look at "super computers" of the day. (The titular billion dollar brain is a 60's super computer)  It establishes and demonstrates a rule of real computers: garbage in,  garbage out.

[Rev. Powell]

HAPPY AS LAZARRO (2018): Guileless Lazarro is separated from the others in his remote village---where they know nothing of the outside world, as the "Marquise" illegally exploits the people as serfs---and wakes up to finds them all years older and struggling as beggars in the big city. The poor are just as bad off under "late capitalism" as feudalism, got it. 2.5/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Sasquatch Mountain (2007) - the lead actress was apparently in Not Another Teen Movie as a minor character somewhere so she's basically film royalty. the rest of the... film certainly doesn't look as good as her but still

4/5

[BoyScoutKevin]

Billion dollar brain.  An interesting spy thriller with Michael Caine.  Also an oddly realistic look at "super computers" of the day. (The titular billion dollar brain is a 60's super computer)  It establishes and demonstrates a rule of real computers: garbage in,  garbage out.

British director's Ken Russell's  2nd attempt at making a theatrical film, after his 1st attempt with the film French Dressing. He would finally achieve success with his 3rd film Women in Love, and, it was onwards and upwards from there. His film Lair of the White Worm is reviewed at this website.

[lester1/2jr]

^ I love his weird neandethal man movie


Goodnight Mommy (2014) - veddy interestink if not amazing arthouse horror from Germany I think. twins are baffled when their Mom returns home from plastic surgery and seems to be a different and far more awful person. In an effort to get to the bottom of all of it, things get a little harried and out of control on both sides. though slow moving at first, it increases in brutality and squirminess as things progress. I'd def watch another of the directors movies if they have any

4/5

[lester1/2jr]

Berlin Syndrome (2017) - I used to kind of write off European people as unrelateable, now I fully do. An awkward one night stand leads to months of home imprisonment. Why didn't she just, I don't know, set the place on fire?? fun-ly frustrating tho 4/5

[FatFreddysCat]

"All Through The House" (2015)
Yet another psycho in a Santa suit slaughters his way through a batch of horny suburbanites on Christmas Eve.
This was pretty standard slasher stuff till around the 3/4 mark, when it suddenly shifted gears into total WTF-ery. Not a *great* flick but it's nicely made with lotsa Christmas-y atmosphere and some truly sicko gore. Compared to the other Yuletide horrors I've watched this season like "The Elf" and "A Christmas Slay," "All Through The House" looks like solid gold.

[Rev. Powell]

THE SISTERS BROTHERS (2018): Bounty hunters Eli and Charlie Sisters hunt a chemist who's developed a method of locating gold; one of the brothers is growing tired of the work and wants to retire. Sometimes billed as a "revisionist" Western or pitched as a dramedy, but actually a straightforward oater with a good dynamic between John C. Reilly and Joaquin Phoenix as the squabbling-but-loyal brothers. 3.5/5.

MOUNTAIN REST (2018): Frankie takes her teenage daughter Clara to meet her grandmother, a retired Hollywood actress, at her mountain cabin, where old resentments resurface. The cast (Natlia Dyer, Kate Lyn Sheil, Frances Conroy) is committed in this female-centered indie, but the results are slight. 2.5/5.

[Dr. Whom]

As the live action version of Ghost in the Shell appeared in my Netlfix suggestions, I thought I'd give it go.

Let us say it was a wise decision not to spend any money on it in theatres

Now, I don't mind reboots, reinterpretations, variants and whatnot. After all, the anime was different from the manga, and both were different from the anime series, and there were still other offshoots in anime and manga. What I do mind is when they take a movie with an interesting premise and turn it into a bland - generic vengeance-finding your self-kinda origin story with a love interest thrown in.

It did look amazing and contained many visual references to the anime. This could serve as a lesson in film school how you can use the same sequences and yet tell a completely different story.

[FatFreddysCat]

"T.N.T. Jackson" (1974)

Everybody's kung-fu fighting in this martial arts/blaxploitation mash-up about an American gal (former Playboy Playmate Jeannie Bell) who goes to Hong Kong to search for her missing brother, and ends up kicking ass on a whole lotta heroin smugglers and assorted thugs. It's no "Coffy" or "Foxy Brown," but "T.N.T." is enjoyably sleazy chop-socky junk.