Recent viewings

[indianasmith]

Watched a cheapie called I SPILL YOUR GUTS last night.  The company is called ACIDBATH PRODUCTIONS, and that's about how enjoyable this thing was.  Basically, a soldier is grievously wounded in Iraq (or overseas someplace), and when his buddy is told that he's not gonna make it, he leaves his wounded comrade and goes home telling the world that he, not his wounded friend Dennis, was the hero of the firefight.  He gets a medal, gets girls, and lives large.  Meanwhile Dennis, miraculously and instantly healed by his rage at the other guy's lie, sneaks home on a cargo plane with a machete and kills everyone who is close to his former friend.  The message is a thinly veiled, knee-jerk anti-war, anti military rant, punctuated by some of the most annoying garage band grunge rock I have ever heard.  Not even the numerous nude scenes and the guest appearance by Lloyd Kaufman could save this piece of poo.

[claws]

Pieces (1982) - a chainsaw killer is loose on a college campus and it's up to the cops to solve the case. Their first decision is to keep the whole thing secret - even as 3, 4, then 5 girls are killed; can't have any bad publicity for the school you know. A female detective goes undercover to investigate, but instead she just gets randomly attacked by some Bruce Lee dude, who turns out to be the Kung Fu instructor. He goes around the campus at night randomly assaulting people I guess - that's what Kung Fu instructors do apparently. Keeps everybody on their toes    I think my favorite scene was when the killer gets into an elevator with one of his intended victims - hiding a chainsaw behind his back. Yeah...I'd never notice something like that. Our undercover detective is also a champion tennis player and plays an exhibition match at the school. Small problem - according to the director neither she nor the girl she's playing against had ever touched a tennis racket before in their lives. So yeah, not exactly the most convincing match. Overall, it was a slow moving, average movie, except with some wonderfully ridiculous bad movie moments. 3.5/5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgLICoFgb2s

[Jack]

Sabretooth (2002) - a completely unconvincing CGI sabretooth tiger is chasing some campers around the woods, while the scientists who created it are trying to re-capture the thing. An old favorite of mine, with fun, likable characters and lots of totally cheesy...everything. 3.75/5.

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: LOST CONTINENT: The infamous "rock climbing" episode. Looking for a downed rocket, party of scientists travels to a jungle where dinosaurs still roam free, but they have to climb a lot of rocks to get there first. This exercise in 1950s-style monster movie padding has Joel and the bots losing it in the theater during the interminable rock climbing scenes. A memorable host segment has Hugh Beaumont showing up as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Some fans love this one but I think it's a pretty average episode (which still makes it a ton of fun to watch). 3.5/5.

[HappyGilmore]

21 Jump Street- I have to give it credit. It's hilarious. Two inept cops screw up their first bust, and get relegated to the undercover department on Jump Street. Great performances by Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum.

I love the fact the movie admits it's a remake in a scene. The chief mentions 'You're relieved to the Jump Street dept. I guess our police department is so bereft of an original idea in catching predators we have to revive and remake things that worked in the past with the bold hope we'll catch lightning in a bottle.'

Also loved the appearances of the three stars of the original actors from the show, Johnny Depp included.

[JaseSF]

Cheaper By the Dozen (1950):  Based on a true story, this tells the story of the Gilberth family in the 1920s detailing the family's move from Providence, Rhode Island to Montclair, New Jersey. Frank Bunker Gilberth Sr. , here played by Clifton Webb, was a family man, a father of twelve children – 6 boys and 6 girls and in his work was a pioneer in the field of efficiency in the workplace but who also believes in practicing what he preaches in his own home with his own family. His wife Lillian (played in the film by the one and only Myrna Loy) was by his side along the way and would go on to fame all her own.  It also tells the story of their oldest daughter Ann (Jeanne Crain) who also narrates and her struggle against the old-fashioned strict ways of her father as she searches for teenage acceptance and wants to join in the latest trends of bobbing her hair, wearing makeup and going out like other teenage girls her age much to the objections of her father.

This definitely has a certain charm going for it. I think it's because it's so true to life what we see presented here. There are moments that are amusing, funny, charming, sweet, touching and even tragic – again much like real life. Clifton Webb is superb as Frank Bunker Gilberth portraying him as a warm, loving family man who yes indeed had very real, believable flaws like everyone else yet we see Frank cares very deeply about his family and deep down has their best interests at heart. Myrna Loy as Lillian- her role isn't as prominent but she nevertheless comes across as a loving, supportive wife whose patience is sometimes pushed by her husband as much as her twelve children but who nevertheless maintains herself as the anchor of sorts for the family with her strength helping them throughout. Jeanne Crain plays oldest daughter Ann and does a fine job even if she does seem a bit too old for the role playing a girl seeking acceptance and wanting to show her father new things aren't all bad only to learn her father isn't quite as out of touch as he seemed.  Sweet and charming, they rarely make movies like this anymore. **** out of ***** stars.

The Messengers (2007):  Following trouble with their teenage daughter in Chicago, the Solomon family move to a small farming town hoping to start up a sunflower farm and make a new fresh start. They also hire a worker for the farm, a man named John  (John Corbett).  However problems begin to arise again when their teenage daughter Jess (Kristen Stewart) begins to claim to see ghosts in the spooky old farmhouse in which the family has just moved once again causing upheaval with her mother (Penelope Ann Miller) and father (Dylan McDermott) who think she's making it all up to get attention. Only Jess's younger brother Ben, a toddler who refuses to speak, and we the viewing audience know the truth.  Or do we?

I didn't think this was so bad. It's an atmospheric, spooky, eerie little ghost story. It has its moments and relies more on suspense than gore or in your face theatrics one sees so much in today's modern horror efforts. Sure it does delve into some rather familiar territory and we've certainly seen stuff like this done before in horror films. Also the ghosts in this one bring to mind the twitchy, jerky movements of ghosts common to Asian horror such as The Grudge and Ring films. The FX are not always convincing which hurts the film somewhat but I did like the use of crows and the general look of the spooky farmhouse and its surroundings.  Far from perfect but has its moments, I'd give this *** out of ***** stars.

The Further Adventures of Ma and Pa Kettle (1949):  After entering a tobacco slogan campaign hoping to get a free new tobacco pouch for his pipe tobacco, Pa Kettle (Percy Kilbride) ends up winning a new modern state of the art house for himself, Ma (Marjorie Main) and his fifteen "childrun".

This is one of the funniest films in the series taking the Kettles out of their old run down farmhouse shack and putting them in a new ultramodern house filled with gadgets and buttons that do unexpected stuff. Pa is soon most uncomfortable with all these new highfalutin ways and wants to go back to the old house but Ma and the kids enjoy the advantages of these new things, many of which actually make Ma's life a little bit easier. Along the way, the Kettle's college graduate son Tom (Richard Long) returns home and meets up with a magazine writer named Kim Parker (Meg Randall) who's writing an article on the Kettles and how this new house has changed their lives. This movie always gets  me laughing loudly – you know deep from the belly shaking laughter. No it's not entirely politically correct by today's standards and it doesn't have any real vulgarity that popular nowadays it seems, nevertheless this should be suitable fun viewing for the whole family. I'll give this one ****1/2 out of ***** stars.

Ma and Pa Kettle Go To Town (1950):  Pa Kettle (Percy Kilbride) wins yet another contest, this time for writing a jingle for Bubble-Ola cola. The prize-an all expenses paid trip to New York City where they can also visit Tom (Richard Long) and Kim (Meg Randall) only he and Ma (Marjorie Main) have no one to look after their fifteen kids and no one they know would dare try, that is until one Shotgun Munger  (Charles McGraw) under an assumed identity as a "poet",  in actuality a bank robber on the run from the police offers to do so and sends the stolen money back with Ma and Pa, unbeknownst to them, in a black bag instructing Pa to deliver the so-called "empty" bag  to his "brother" who's actually another member of his gang.

This one has its hilarious moments too. It of course has the out of place small town Kettles in the Big Apple but it's also filled with humorous mix-ups and misidentifications with the black bag being the subject of much interest for both Manger's gang and the police while poor Pa Kettle keeps wondering why each new bag he buys to replace the previous keeps getting stolen. Meanwhile Munger soon regrets choosing to babysit the Kettles' "childrun". Funniest bits- Pa is mistaken for an animal poisoner  and gets grilled by the cops who have little luck with the typically laid back Pa and Pa Kettle is mistaken for one C.P. Kettle in underwear.  Lots of laughs to be found yet again with this entry, I'll give this one **** out of ***** stars.

Ma and Pa Kettle Back on the Farm (1951):  Ma (Marjorie Main) and Pa Kettle (Percy Kilbride) are surprised with the arrival of both their grandson and their son Tom (Richard Long)'s in-laws whose refined Bostonian ways clash with the Kettles' simple farm life ways eventually leading the Kettles to consider returning to their old worn down farmhouse and leaving the in-laws in the new ultramodern house. Meanwhile Pa may have accidentally discovered valuable uranium on the old property.

Again this delivers the laughs aplenty. The main conflict here is between hardworking and wise Ma (Marjorie Main) and Kim (Meg Randall)'s mother Elizabeth Parker (Barbara Brown) who insists on having everything clean and sterile for the baby and looks down her snooty nose at the Kettles traditional way of dealing with each other and their friends while also thinking she knows what's best for the baby despite the fact Ma already has fifteen children of her own. It makes for some highly entertaining confrontations and surprisingly believable family dealing between in-laws. This one also involves salesman Billy Reed (Emory Parnell) and Pa's "Injun" friends Crowbar  (Teddy Hart) and Geoduck (Oliver Blake) more in the action as they try and help the Kettles by ensuring their grandson stays with them instead of being returned to Boston with the Parkers only the results don't turn out quite like they planned.  Obviously the Indians in this push the political incorrect buttons on some levels but honestly I don't really care because no one should take these "Indians" in any way serious anyways.  Silly fun but based on something surprisingly plausible on some levels, I'll give this one **** out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Super Mario Brothers" (1993)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtMZKYnLg5c

I've always had a perverse interest in seeing this flick, since it's considered to be one of the worst films ever made. Imagine my surprise when I found the whole movie available on YouTube. So I watched it tonight and all I can say is...

Um....wow. What a mess.

This expensive turkey was supposedly based on the Nintendo game series, but after watching this ridiculously loud, utterly dumb-ass mishmash I doubt that anybody involved in its production had ever even seen the game.

Mario (Bob Hoskins) and Luigi (John Leguizamo) are a pair of Brooklyn-based plumbers who meet a princess and get mixed up in a plot by inter-dimensional beings that evolved from dinosaurs (?) and want to break through to our Earth to take over.

Lotsa pyrotechnics, neat creature effects and bizarre set designs that look like a yard-sale version of "Total Recall" but the story is just one long series of "WTF?" moments strung together.

"Super Mario Brothers" is too weird and bizarre for kids (the intended audience) and too ridiculous for grown-ups. No wonder this thing tanked at the box office. This was the 90s equivalent of "Howard the Duck."

[Jack]

Alive or Dead (2008) - two women are abducted and driven to a remote house out in the desert. They manage to overpower their attacker, and then wander around the house for a while. They could just use a vehicle to flee the scene, but they don't know the way back to town. It doesn't occur to them until later to just follow the road. Anyhow, a typically unstoppable mindless brute eventually starts chasing them around, resulting in the usual screaming and very serious injuries that heal up in a few minutes. The good:  well there's a good looking babe in a tight tank top. The bad:  everything else. The women don't seem to take their situation very seriously, they do stupendously stupid things, and the killer does impossible things like  travel many miles on foot (after being shot 3 times) in the same amount of time it takes the women to drive that distance. 2.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Alligator" (1980)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QtAPFBdBtU

Urban "Jaws" variation in which a baby alligator, flushed down the toilet, grows to immense size in a city sewer system after feeding on illegally-dumped test animals, then breaks out and begins snacking on the local residents. As the body count rises, a disgraced cop and a reptile expert team up to take the critter down.

Cult creature feature starring Robert "The Black Hole" Forster and Henry "Ocean's 11" Silva (who's a hoot as an egotistical big game hunter brought in to try and kill the 'gator) was written by John "Eight Men Out" Sayles.

This movie scared the crap out of me when I first saw it years 'n' years ago (I was about 12 years old) and it still holds up as a cool killer-creature flick.

[lester1/2jr]

Seeding of a Ghost - Shaw Brothers classic. A woman is assaulted and killed and the witch doctor guys do all the resurrecting and battling with the strong spirits. It's similar to the Black Magic movies. The first half is the plot and it moves a little slowly but it appropriately gritty and explicit as Shaw Brothers movies from this era tend to be. The second half is pretty much a whole lot of those awesomely crude and stylish special effects and people spitting up worms and hot women being pregnant with lizards or something. 4/5

[Rev. Powell]

@suicideroom [AKA SUICIDE ROOM]: When a spoiled rich boy is mocked due to a homosexual incident, he retreats into a virtual world, a community called "suicide room" full of teens who want to kill themselves. The elaborately animated "World of Warcraft" style fantasy chat room scenes---you might call them virtual magical realism---are the draw in what is otherwise a well-intentioned, occasionally over-acted "emo" Polish drama about teen suicide. 3.5/5.

[fulci420]

Bad Dreams-I grabbed this on a double pack with Visiting Hours. On the surface this is just another nightmare on elm street rip off but it is not without its merit's. Focusing on a lone survivor of a Jones town type mass suicide as she awakes from a coma our story is set in a mental hospital for people with borderline personality disorder. Before you know it our protagonist is getting visions of her past cult leader and patients begin offing themselves.

So what differentiates this film from other rip offs of the time? Firstly the production values are top notch with great effects sequences that don't disappoint. Adding to the appeal is a creepy performance by Richard Lynch as the cult leader, and an excellent soundtrack. This is not to say that it doesn't have its problems. Some of the acting is pretty poor and you cant help but feel like we've seen this all before. Regardless it's a good movie and a strong debut from director Andrew Fleming who would go on to make "The Craft", and the very funny "Hamlet 2".

[BoyScoutKevin]

Brotherhood of the Wolf-I had been meaning to watch this film for a while now and finally got the chance recently. This is an epic film concerning the hunting of a great beast in 18th century France. First the good things about this film. The action/fighting scenes are amazing, and the cinematography is fantastic. Acting wise we get great performances from Vincent Cassel (Black Swan, Mesrine), Monica Belluci (Irreversible) and Mark Dacascos (who I just realized is the guy at the beginning of each episode of Iron Chef America). Unfortunately this film is a bit overlong at nearly two and a half hours with a bit too much time spent on subplots. Overall though I cant really hate on any movie that combines a french period piece, martial arts and then throws in a mythical monster on top of it.
This film is in french but for haters of subtitles (I'm indifferent to them) there is a high quality dubbed version provided on the dvd. 

     I saw that a few years back....excellent.

Oh, I agree. An excellent film based on the true incident of the Beast of Gevaudan, which went on the attack, attacking women and children in central France in the 1760's.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Fanboys" (2009)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBkA3R2Habo

In 1998, four friends and lifelong "Star Wars" geeks embark on a cross country trip from Ohio to San Francisco... hoping to break into George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch and get a sneak peek at "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" before anyone else. Naturally, they encounter numerous obstacles - including run-ins with law enforcement, crazed pimps, and angry Trekkies - along the way.

Hilarious "nerd comedy" packed with tons of in-jokes for fans of Star Wars and sci-fi in general. Two appendages up. 

[Jack]

Headless Horseman (2007) - Sci-Fi Channel original about some kids who get stuck in a remote town, only to discover that there's a headless horseman who wants to make them all headless too. Pretty average stuff, not to be taken seriously, but the characters were okay (I enjoyed the comic relief girl the most, she was kind of entertaining) and the plot moves along at an acceptable pace. Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) does his usual Richard Moll thing, as a surly old clerk at the general store. 3.25/5.