Recent viewings

[SynapticBoomstick]

BAD CHICKEN (2013): A manipulative chicken (played by a hand puppet) seduces a beautiful woman by promising to make her a TV reality star; her boyfriend is suspicious. Lovely and talented Isabelle Gardo makes a great B-move bimbo (that's a compliment), but the movi'es chicken gimmick wears thin quickly, and doesn't push the bad behavior to truly outrageous levels---another MEET THE FEEBLES this ain't. 2/5.

Trying too hard can be even worse than not trying at all, eh? I looked up the trailer and I'm baffled as to how you could squeeze something feature-length out of an idea like this.

[fulci420]

Reflections of A Golden Eye (1967)
Rarely does such talent go into making something so bizzare and off kilter. John Huston directs leads Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor in this twisted psycho sexual melodrama. Brando is an army captain despised by his wife Taylor. Although at the time it could not be said outright it is clear Brando is playing a homosexual quite miserable in his repression. Taylor is having an affair with the neighbor which Brando seems to tolerate. Making his first appearance a very young Robert Forster who is key to all these goings ons. Obviously not given enough work to do this soldier spends his nights peeping on Taylor and his days riding a horse naked!

As I said before this is one weird film. Bathed in golden hues with the very occasional splash of color this film looks like no other film. It runs into problems with pace and the reality that what was once shocking in 1967 is now commonplace. Despite having more than a couple marbles in his mouth Brando puts in a brave and unique performance. For those who have seen the classics of Huston and Brando and want to go deeper into stranger more obscure territory.

[indianasmith]

I watched three movies this weekend - BLACKWATER VAMPIRE was an interesting "found footage" movie about a documentary filmmaker who is doing a story on a series of four brutal murders carried out near her hometown.  A local eccentric was arrested and convicted, but she is convinced of his innocence. She interviews surviving friends and relatives of the four victims, then interviews the condemned killer in prison. Finally, she and her crew trek deep into the forest to do a shoot at the spot where the final victim was found ten years before. On the way in, they begin hearing strange noises in the forest, and soon it is obvious that they are being tracked . . . by something not entirely human.  This one had some flaws but was overall a pretty solid piece of work, and the creature effects were quite remarkable.

CAPTAIN PHILIPS is Tom Hank's latest Oscar vehicle; the story of the captain of an American cargo ship hijacked by Somali pirates.  Painstakingly accurate and beautifully filmed, it drags a bit in places but was definitely worth the rental! 

Finally, I watched a post-zombie apocalypse film called DEAD WEIGHT.    This one mainly consisted of a rather unlikable main character trying to get cross country to the town where he told his girlfriend he would meet her as society began to implode.  However, as he continues his journey he becomes more and more inured to violence, not only against the undead but against his fellow survivors.  The question is, when he finally reaches his goal, will he still be the kind of man anyone could love?  My biggest gripe with this film is that you don't see a single zombie till it's nearly over, and when they do put in an appearance they don't even look like zombies - just a bunch of rather disheveled humans who might spill out of any bar at 1 AM on a Friday night!  I appreciate the attempt at drama, but frankly this film was not that enjoyable and was almost boring in places.

[lester1/2jr]

The Silent Partner - It's a good thing Celine Lomez is in this because the two leads Eliot Gould and Susannah York are two of the most unattractive people ever. Gould works in a bank. Somehow he ends up keeping a certain amount of money from being stolen in a robbery and keeps it for himself. He and the robber do chess play back and forth, the robber threatening to expose him and he threatening to not give him them the money and on and on. It's pretty good despite the fact that I couldn't stand looking at Gould or York. For a 70's movie the suspension of disbelief required isn't too high, by today's standards it probably wouldn't cut it but still fun. 4/5

[Jack]

Trackman (2007) - Russian movie about some bank robbers who flee into the sewers to avoid getting caught by the cops. Of course there's a big hulking killer down there - think Jason Voorhees except with a pickaxe instead of a machete. This didn't start out too bad but the whole middle part got downright tedious as the killer walks up behind somebody - his footsteps are very loud - the person doesn't notice until he's like 5' behind them. Then the intended victim spins around and poof! The big hulking killer has vanished into thin air. He occasionally does kill somebody but two out of three times he vanishes. It gets a little tiresome, not to mention completely unbelievable. There wasn't much in the way of character development, though some of them had strong personalities which at least gave them some screen presence. And there was basically no plot. I guess it did have a modicum of atmosphere at least. 2.5/5.

[fulci420]

Ransom (1996) I'm of the belief that a film should be measured against its own genre. So if for example a comedy is consistently funny it gets full marks even if say the plot is stupid, has insufficient themes, plot holes etc... Ransom is first and foremost a thriller and it too gets full marks because for two hours director Ron Howard and the cast manage to keep the tension rising from beginning to end. I went in not knowing much and thought that this film had a much better handle on knowing when to twist than most other thrillers. Most other films would let the kidnapped kid prattle on endlessly but here hes basically silent the whole time tied up and forced to listen to weird 90s jam rock. Awesome movie for any fans of thrillers and regardless of your feelings on Mel Gibson he really does a fantastic performance here.

[JaseSF]

The Ark, the Shroud and Mary: Gateway into a Quantum World (2006): Another bizarre documentary from Philip Gardiner. This one features him speculating as to the connections between the Ark of the Covenant, the Virgin Mary, and the Shroud of Turin. Each he speculates acts as a spiritual connection/gateway to enlightenment as each is connected to the divine. He puts forth his personal beliefs that the Ark, Mary, and the Shroud have much longer histories and connections across many different cultures from Ancient Greece through Indian, Egyptian, Ethiopian, and Hebrew cultures particularly pointing out connections between the symbolism of the different arks through different cultures. He also points out connections to many secret societies including the Knights Templar. It's interesting stuff in and of itself but of course it's all pretty much just speculation with some real history used in a way that helps our director connect those dots he wants to connect. That said, this documentary is weighed down by a poor choice of visuals and a mostly inappropriate soundtrack that plays endlessly throughout the background of this thing. Albeit there was a cool song or two amongst them. Very new age kind of stuff yet of course it plays towards ancient mysticism. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators" (2013) - In this entertaining SyFy schlocker, tainted moonshine dumped into a Louisiana river mutates the local gator population into enormous man eaters whose bites can have, errr, "transformative" effects. Two long feuding yokel families must then put aside their differences to deal with the critters.
Given the absolutely absurd premise, it was actually better than it has any right to be!

[Jack]

Arcade (1993) - a new video game is installed at the arcade, promising to bring a fabulous virtual reality experience to all the kids. Unfortunately if you lose it somehow teleports you out of the real world and puts you into its game world. So it's up to Megan Ward to get her boyfriend out of this thing, and to do so she must win the game and defeat the evil force inside. This was kind of a yawner. Characters weren't really developed or interesting, the plot was extremely predictable, and the virtual world looked pretty primitive and uninspired even by '90s standards. 2.5/5.

[Rev. Powell]

BLACK CAT, WHITE CAT (1999): A coke-snorting small-town gangster offers to let a scheming loser out of a debt if his son marries the mobster's daughter. Heavy on plot and with lots of quirky characters, this plays like a script Leonard Elmore might have written if he's been born a Bosnian gypsy. 3.5/5.

[claws]

BLACKWATER VAMPIRE

One of the most blatant Blair Witch rip-offs seen so far. I also didn't buy the "being lost" bit as they could have easily followed their own tracks back, since there was no new snow the entire time. Anyway, I was only mildly entertained because of lack of originality. The ending was a hoot however.

[fulci420]

Sudden Death (1995) Die Hard in a hockey stadium! Jean Claud Van Damme plays Bruce Willis and Powers Boothe plays Alan Rickman in this below mediocre offering. Maybe I've watched too many of these but this was really a slog to get through. It seems most of the Die Hard imitators were completely unable to replicate any of the humor that made that film work. Instead we just get a lot of wandering around corridors and air shafts occasionally stopping to kick random terrorists.
Only redeeming moments.

Van Damme fights a women in a penguin costume. He put hot peppers in her eyes and then kills her by putting her through an industrial dishwasher.
 
While running from pesky terrorists Van Damme sneaks onto the ice and disguises himself as a goalie. He then goes on to make a save of the year according to the announcer. This commences with saying I love you to his son in sign language.

[lester1/2jr]

Elvira Mistress of the Dark (1988) - I hadn't seen this since it came out on video. It was a big hit at our movie night back then. It's held up very well. Quirky and colorful in a very 80's, Pee Wee's Big Adventure way. If I had any criticism it's that sometimes it's like Pee Wee's Big Adventure without the adventure. I felt like they could have done a little more than have her these sassy conversations with everyone all the time. Minor criticism though, it's a classic and obviously Elvira looks great. 5/5

[FatFreddysCat]

"House on Haunted Hill" (1959) - Millionaire Vincent Price invites a diverse group of people to spend the night at a legendary haunted mansion... with a $10,000 prize for anyone who can make it till the morning.  Murder and charmingly spooky mayhem ensue in this 50s drive in classic from the great William Castle.

[VenomX73]

"House on Haunted Hill" (1959) - Millionaire Vincent Price invites a diverse group of people to spend the night at a legendary haunted mansion... with a $10,000 prize for anyone who can make it till the morning.  Murder and charmingly spooky mayhem ensue in this 50s drive in classic from the great William Castle.

Yes - GREAT movie