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October 22, 2014, 03:05:43 AM
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Jack
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« Reply #7215 on: February 13, 2014, 07:35:39 PM »

Chanbara Beauty: The Movie - Vortex (2009) - Japanese movie about two sisters who use Samurai swords to slice and dice their way through a zombie infested world. They meet another girl who promises to take them to their parents (whom they know to be dead); one sister follows her while the other doesn't believe her. A bunch of stuff happens and there's a big fight at the end. This was pretty bad really. All the fights are filmed like music videos, the plot doesn't make any sense (not that it really matters) and the acting is as bad as everything else. The director didn't seem nearly as interested in making a movie as he was in making his stupid music videos with stupid blood splatter effects on the camera lens and stupid explosions superimposed on top of everything. The only notable thing about it was that one of the sisters wore a red bikini, feather boa and a Stetson. That still only brings it up to a 2.5/5.

Yakuza Hunters: Final Death Ride Battle (2010) - a girl wants to take revenge on the Yakuza gang that tried to kill her, so she teams up with some girls from her gang to take them down. This is sort of a grindhouse/exploitation/comedy/drama type...thing. Lots of people but no real characters; lots of running around but no real plot. The girls dress up in some sexy outfits and, that's about it. 2.5/5.
« Last Edit: February 13, 2014, 09:43:40 PM by Jack » Logged

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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #7216 on: February 15, 2014, 02:03:39 PM »

"Sherlock Holmes" (2009) - Guy Ritchie re-imagines the famed sleuth as a 19th century action hero (played by Robert Downey Jr.) in this overlong, muddled mystery. Downey and Jude Law (as Holmes ' long suffering sidekick, Dr. Watson) make a good team and there are a few cool action sequences but overall this was disappointingly average.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2014, 02:16:06 PM by FatFreddysCat » Logged

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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #7217 on: February 16, 2014, 03:47:38 AM »

"The Taking of Pelham 123" (2009) Hijackers take a New York City subway train hostage, and while the city scrambles to come up with the ransom, the gang leader (John Travolta) plays a series of head games with a Transit Authority dispatcher (Denzel Washington) over the radio.
This remake of a 1970s thriller lapses into typical action-movie nonsense in its last quarter but up till then it's a decent suspense flick.
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #7218 on: February 16, 2014, 12:22:49 PM »

"A Talking Cat?" (2012)
It's only February and I already have a "worst thing I've seen this year!" candidate!

In this craptastic no budget kid flick, a sassy feline (voiced by Eric Roberts, of all creatures) helps bring two troubled families together with its mystical powers. Yes, really. This poorly acted, awkwardly scripted, unfunny comedy needed more of the cat and less of the human characters.

The flicks soft porn production values were explained by an IMDb visit, where I learned that this was directed by gay porn auteur David Decoteau under a pseudonym. Apparently he does these quickie talking animal kid vids on the side. No wonder the two teen boy characters seemed like they were in such a hurry to get shirtless and hop in the pool together.

If your kids find this flick on Netflix, grab the remote out of their hand and throw it across the room.
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« Reply #7219 on: February 16, 2014, 01:04:26 PM »

TEETH (2007): A teenage girl who is active in the abstinence movement discovers she has teeth in her hoo-ha, much to her would-be lovers' misfortune. It would be hard to find a proper tone for this ridiculous premise; writer/director Mitchell Litchenstein decides to play it as a straight horror film, with mixed results. 2.5/5.
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VenomX73
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« Reply #7220 on: February 16, 2014, 02:19:51 PM »

TEETH (2007): A teenage girl who is active in the abstinence movement discovers she has teeth in her hoo-ha, much to her would-be lovers' misfortune. It would be hard to find a proper tone for this ridiculous premise; writer/director Mitchell Litchenstein decides to play it as a straight horror film, with mixed results. 2.5/5.

Umm... remind me to NEVER watch that... ever... thank you.
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fulci420
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« Reply #7221 on: February 16, 2014, 09:22:20 PM »

The Exorcist 2 The Heretic (1977)

I'm of the belief that the first Exorcist is not only among the greatest horror films of all time but one of the best films ever made period. So its kind of strange that its taken me this long to check out its notorious sequel. Reading Friedkin's memoir and having recently seen this very funny video I just needed to check it out.
William Friedkin talks about Exorcist 2


Ok so I watched this half drunk (ok... full drunk) last night and I have to say it fully deserves its reputation as one of the most misguided sequels of all time. I would tell you the plot but I rarely understood the whats or whys of I what I was looking at.

Basically it's every bit the fiasco that its reputation suggests. Its incredibly nonsensical and dull throughout despite the rather OTT going ons in africa. It's bad but the general joylessness and pretentiousness of the script prevent it from being a so bad its good experience with friends. Positives, well I've long loved the bonkers Morricone score to this one and I must admit some of the camera movement is rather fantastic. Also this trailer is undeniably awesome and the movie is such a letdown in comparison.
 
Exorcist II: The Heretic - Trailer
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JaseSF
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« Reply #7222 on: February 16, 2014, 09:27:08 PM »

The Rescuers (1977): Minor animated classic from Disney has a pair of rescue mice working with other animals in a swamp to rescue a little orphaned girl named Penny. Penny is being held prisoner by the evil and twisted Madame Medusa and her associates Mr. Snoops, and her two pet alligators. Medusa has designs on finding an hidden treasure and plans on using small Penny to search the dark caverns to find it.

This was adventurous and fun (Medusa's motorized contraption is a hoot) and the time quickly flies watching it so it's definitely not bad of its type but yet it never quite reaches the level of many other Disney classics. Bob Newhart and Eva Gabor provide the voices of the two Rescue mice Bernard and Miss Bianca while Geraldine Page does a great job as the villainous Medusa. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Drunken Master (1978): Wong Fei-hong (Jackie Chan) is a young show-off hothead, the son of a martial arts master, who makes the dumb mistake to be rude to a woman who unfortunately for him turns out to be his Aunt. Realizing his son is a disobedient jerk and fool, Wong Fei-hong's father sends him off to most reluctantly train under his cruel and strict disciplinarian Uncle Su Hua Chi. This training, which bizarrely enough involves learning a form of drunken Kung-Fu fighting,  however might very well prove useful considering an assassin has been hired to kill a family member of Wong Fei-hong.

This is frequently hilarious and Chan early on in this is such a young jerk punk kid it's surprising he's the hero of the story. Still he somehow remains likable nevertheless and as the story moves on, we find ourselves both amused by his antics yet also we suffer his humiliations and root him on hoping he'll learn a better way. Honestly though I was mostly amused and enjoyed the early part of this film in terms of humor. The later part is much more serious yet also remains fun. **** out of ***** stars.

Raising Helen (2004): Helen Harris (Kate Hudson) is a busy fashion executive loving living the single high-life who suddenly finds everything's changed in an hurry when she becomes guardian of her sister's three young children following a fatal car accident involving her sister and brother in-law. Her other sister Jenny (Joan Cusack) is stunned and surprised by her sister's choice given she's already proven herself as a mom. Can Helen find a way to help the kids cope with their grief and move on with their lives together as a new family?

This chick flick isn't too bad of its type and after a rocky start, it does finally come together in the end and make sense. However, there are a number of flaws here. In particular, no male character in this story feels real and/or fleshed out. The early part of this film before Helen moves in with the kids is largely a bore, and even feels just a little too happy/chirpy/bright throughout even when the kids are dealing with such an heavy thing as their parents' death. Could have been better but as it is, isn't too bad in the end. *** out of ***** stars.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010):  Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) reluctantly works with Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) in hopes of finding the real killer of his adopted father Sharaman (Ronald Pickup), the King of Persia, a crime for which Prince Dastan has been framed. Also they must protect a magical dagger with the power to reverse time from falling into the wrong hands and perhaps triggering the apocalypse. This is a surprisingly dark action-adventure fantasy from Disney based on the video game of the same name. It has some great action pieces going for it, some memorable stunts, and the chemistry between Gyllenhaal and Arterton is pretty fun. It's pretty similar in some ways to the Brendan Fraser Mummy films but perhaps not quite as much fun as those, well maybe the later ones. There's a surprising amount of nasty killing going on in this one so it's not really all that well suited for kids although teenage boys will probably love it. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.
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Jack
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« Reply #7223 on: February 17, 2014, 07:21:06 AM »

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009) - a busload of prison convicts are being transported to a different facility and the inbred mutant cannibal hillbilly runs them off the road and proceeds to hunt them for the rest of the movie. None of the prisoners are likable and certainly not sympathetic, and the kills are all amusing rather than scary. For instance one person gets an arrow through the back of the head, directly through her eyeball, with it getting skewered on the end of the arrow and pushed eight inches out of her head. It make me chuckle. Not much good to say about this thing at all. It wasn't scary, there was no atmosphere, I didn't care if they all died; that's what's called a failure. 2.5/5.
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fulci420
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« Reply #7224 on: February 17, 2014, 12:37:21 PM »

Blue Chips (1994) My trip through the world of Friedkin continues with one of his lesser known efforts. Getting a mere 2 pages of discussion in the recently released "The Friedkin Connection" and with an acknowledgement that his film failed to resonate with audiences nor capture the unpredictability of real sports, this is certainly not among his proudest movements. Still Friedkin praises Nick Nolte's work here and it at least gets some mention (Deal of the Century and The Guardian don't even get a sentence in the book). So how does Friedkin's basketball movie hold up today?

Well Friedkin is on point about Nolte here its among his best performances. His opening speech to his players basically telling them their no good is electrifying and if anything sets too high a standard for the rest of the film. Turns out this is a fairly predictable film and its central moral dilemma (is it ok to compensate players for playing college ball) is both underdeveloped and uninteresting. At this point Friedkin's star had fallen so much that it seems little of what made him great remains. Whereas films like Cruising and The French Connection seemed to revel in ambiguities everything seems fairly cut and dry here. This is not to say its a complete failure it is entertaining enough and Nolte brings an A+ performance to this b- picture. Also would we have such screen classics as Steel and Kazaam if Shaq had not made his acting debut here?

Here's the awesome opening scene.
Opening Rant From Blue Chips Small | Large
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JaseSF
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« Reply #7225 on: February 17, 2014, 02:03:29 PM »

The Rescuers Down Under (1990): Sequel to The Rescuers sees the return of heroic mice Bernard (voiced by Bob Newhart) and Miss Bianca (voiced by Eva Gabor), this time attempting to rescue Cody, a kidnapped young boy in Australia from the hands of an evil poacher named McLeach (voiced by George C. Scott) who'll do just about anything to trap a rare golden eagle.

The animation on this one is just beautiful and at times breathtaking. The story is also quite good and involving with many adventurous and fun moments sprinkled throughout. It was neat to hear John Candy as the voice of Wilbur, the albatross who helps fly Bernard and Miss Bianca to their destination and he provides several of the film's funniest moments. Scott's McLeach character is downright evil and twisted and gives this animated tale a slightly uncomfortable dark edge at moments yet it makes the efforts of our heroes all the more admirable given the villain is so strong. I also really like the scenes where the captured animals attempt to make an escape which provides some of this sequel's best moments. Sadly though they are later forgotten in the film which seems a gaping hole in the plot. Otherwise, this was quite good. In fact, I feel it's pretty much at the same level as the original so I'll give it ***1/2 out of ***** stars too.
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Jack
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« Reply #7226 on: February 19, 2014, 07:20:49 AM »

Infection (2004) - Japanese horror movie about the overworked and underpaid staff of a hospital that's close to bankruptcy. They mistakenly inject the wrong medicine into a patient and he dies, so they decide to cover it up. Meanwhile another patient with a deadly and highly contagious disease is dropped off by an ambulance, and it's not long before everybody's organs are liquifying and green goop is running out of their ears. This had good atmosphere and the characters, though not likable, were interesting and realistic. The plot was just sort of a mess though, everybody was hallucinating because of this infectious disease and the disease itself was apparently a metaphor for the guilt they felt over accidentally killing a patient. Or something like that, I really have no idea. It got real slow moving in parts and just descended into indecipherable nonsense towards the end. 3.5/5.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2014, 07:23:25 AM by Jack » Logged

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« Reply #7227 on: February 19, 2014, 07:26:36 AM »

I tried to watch my Blu-ray of Von Ryan's Express on my DVD player and forgot that it actually works the other way around: so not much of a viewing.  Wink
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #7228 on: February 19, 2014, 11:58:06 PM »

"Don't Stop Believin': Everyman's Journey" (2011) A feel good documentary about Arnel Pineda, a small time singer who was plucked from obscurity in the Philippines thanks to the magic of YouTube and landed his dream gig: new front man of stadium rock legends Journey. Through all the sudden fame, Arnel still manages to remain a humble, likeable guy. Cool stuff, with lots of Impressive live clips of Pineda onstage with the band performing a variety of Journey classics.
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« Reply #7229 on: February 20, 2014, 09:43:53 AM »

THE GODFATHERS OF MONDO (2003): The story of "shockumentarians" Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi, who scandalized the world with their bloody, sexy documentaries MONDO CANE and AFRICA ADDIO. Basically a DVD extra, but informative for fans. If you haven't seen MONDO CANE you need to. 3/5.
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