Recent viewings

[Rev. Powell]

THE DANCE OF REALITY (2013): Alejandro Jodorowsky starts his imaginary autobiography as a young girl with a father who's the spitting image of Joseph Stalin and a mother who only sings arias, and it only gets stranger from there. Jodorowsky's unexpected late-season movie has all of the weirdness and occult spirituality of his cult hits EL TOPO, HOLY MOUNTAIN and SANTA SANGRE, but there's something different, too: he's lightened up in his old age, and now brings a consistent sense of humor and playfulness. 4.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Haunted High" (2012)

Haunted High (2012) - Syfy Movie Trailer

A bunch of private school students (and their janitor, played by Danny "Machete" Trejo) are trapped in the building overnight with the spirit of a former headmaster and cult leader - who has a thing for human sacrifice. Hilarity ensues. This is a SyFy movie so naturally the effects are cheap, the gore is plentiful, and the acting is terrible. I felt sorriest for ex-"Buffy" hottie Charisma Carpenter, who needs a new agent desperately if this is the kind of stuff she's appearing in nowadays.

[JaseSF]

War of the Planets (1977): After a strange signal from space is sent to the Earth, the nearest spaceship commanded by Captain Alex Hamilton (John Richardson), who is considered by those in charge to be something of a rogue, is sent to investigate. His spaceship is eventually pulled towards a mysterious world seemingly ruled over by an evil robot/computer intelligence.

While the execution is somewhat cheesy and some of its lines are laughably bad, I actually kind of enjoyed this one. It was clearly influenced by numerous other sci-fi movies & TV shows (2001: A Space Odyssey, First Spaceship on Venus, Space: 1999, Planeta Bur, Barbarella, Star Trek) and kind of feels like a mish mash of numerous other films all squished into one film but with a 1960s comic book/sci-fi pulp fiction look/motif.  Of course it may have actually proved an influence on other films (The Terminator, The Black Hole). The shape hugging spacesuits with the red skull caps look ridiculous but not unlike similar seen on many classic Sci-Fi serials and early TV series (Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, Space: 1999, UFO) and at least it really shows of the ladies and their curves. The robot villain is delightfully silly and over the top megalomaniacal  in its aggressiveness although it either sports two different looks or more likely it commands another robot on the ground to do its dirty work. The twist ending makes the film seem to go on a bit too long although I kind of dug the second twist. What can I say, I was thoroughly entertained by this one and the sci-fi/comic book fan in me was delighted. **** out of ***** stars on a bad movie scale. On a regular scale, probably **1/2 out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Robo Vampire" (1988)

Robo Vampire Clip

An absolutely insane no budget horror/sci-fi/kung fu mashup from Hong Kong. A drug cartel is using Chinese hopping vampires (?) to protect their shipments, and a dead narcotics agent is reborn as an extremely cheap RoboCop knockoff to battle them. In a totally unrelated plot line, a female agent is taken prisoner by the cartel and a team of commandos goes to their jungle base to free her.

...supposedly this flick was stitched together from bits and pieces of two unfinished films which might explain why Robo Vampire appears to have no story whatsoever. It's just a bunch of poorly dubbed, random chop socky action scenes one after another for the entire run time.

I have tried to watch this movie (it's available in its entirety on YouTube) several times over the past couple of years but have always bailed out around the 15 minute mark. Now that I have finally completed it, I believe that I have scaled the top of Bad Movie Mountain.

[Jack]

Dragonfyre (2013) - a guy buys a house way out in the woods, looking for peace and quiet, but wouldn't you know it there's a cave on his property that's the gateway to another world - one filled with Orc's straight out of Lord of the Rings, along with some evil witch and even a dragon. A princess (who seriously can't act) comes through into our world and is pursued by various groups of Ocrs and it's our hero's job to mow them down with assault rifles, a sniper rifle, and eventually a .50 cal machine gun    Pretty low budget cheese fest but watching Orcs get massacred with modern firepower was amusing as hell. 3.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Stage Fright" (2014)

Stage Fright Official Trailer #1 (2014) - Minnie Driver Horror Musical HD

A musical slasher movie (!) that's kinda like a mish mash of "Scream" and "Glee." A theatre summer camp is menaced by a kabuki-faced killer who's picking off the cast and crew of a "Phantom of the Opera" style musical production. Yes, it's just as silly as it sounds. The kill scenes are bloody, some of the songs are quite funny, but the two genres/styles never really mesh. This flick really wants to be a campy sensation ala "Rocky Horror" but it's not even in the same ball park.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Phantoms" (1998)
 

http://youtu.be/wlbsHAmPxR0
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Two sisters, a sheriff and a scientist battle an ancient evil demi-God thingy that's taken up residence under a small Colorado town in this sci-fi/horror thriller based on Dean Koontz's novel. A bit draggy in the middle, but I've seen worse.

[BakuryuuTyranno]

Tape 407 - Somehow reasonably exciting. I especially liked that the "jerk" character was a man with anxiety problems (panic attacks, etc) and actually a decent person when thinking straight (I suffer from anxiety problems myself).By contrast, the male character with the most central role throws himself into action roles even after it's been established he's suffering from internal bleeding, so the characterisation ranged from "very realistic" to "extremely implausible".

The Children (British) - Somehow endearing but I don't know whether I'd consider it a good movie. Some virus makes children start killing people.

Night of the Demons (remake) - Somehow enjoyable. People possessed by demons in a strange house. Nothing in particular to say.

Nothing Left to Fear - Started out good, then got kinda lame. Some spirit needs to exterminate a family or something, the townspeople are a cult, and... I don't know.

[lester1/2jr]

I Think We're Alone Now (2008) - This was much more depressing and hit closer to home than I thought it would.

It's a documentary about 2 guys who are obsessed with the crappy 80's singer Tiffany. She had 2 hits "Could've Been" and "I Think We're Alone Now". Her big innovation, as I recall, was doing performances in actual malls. Go check wikipedia if you want any more Tiffany facts anyway both of these guys have heavy duty personal issues. Jeff, the first one, is an Asperger's laden conspiracy theorist who has distant memories of female company and thousands of dollars worth of ridiculous electronics so he can communicate with Tiffany telepathically. He considers Tiffany a close personal friend even though she has taken out restraining orders against him. He once showed up to one of her shows with a katana.

The other one is Kelly who is "intersexual" or a hermaphrodite. He was in an accident and a coma as a teenager. When he woke up his sister gave him a Tiffany CD to listen to and something about it clicked with him. Unlike Jeff he's never seen Tiffany in person and doesn't have massive piles of related stuff everywhere. Neither of them work, though Kelly is trying to in the end.

Via the film makers I assume, the two of them actually hook up and attend a Tiffany show together which is certainly the high point or at least most upbeat part of the documentary. (Even better is the fact that none of Tiffany's music appears in the film either due to copyright issues or the director's own good taste I'm not sure.) Most of the time it's a very grim affair though and if you've ever felt like a person who fell through the cracks this will definitely hit home. Kelly struggles with issues relating to a genuine, biologically based gender confusion but Jeff is on another level. He's a Christian and has friends and a good heart but his obsession with Tiffany and insistence that they are personal friends is really disconcerting, especially when he talks about it with other people, often random ones he meets and who then try to get away from him.

The extras reveal that other, minor characters in the short (1 hour 4 minutes) documentary are also a bit off kilter. One is a guy who comes off totally reasonable in the documentary itself but discusses how he was arrested for stalking olympic rhythmic gymnasts (???). Another guy we meet as a minster is a very far out there conspiracy theorist with knowledge of something called Mantouk that is going to take over everything.

If you're looking for a little variety definitely check this out. It's kind of like Intervention or Hoarders or something

4/5

[FatFreddysCat]

"I, Robot" (2004)

http://youtu.be/s0f3JeDVeEo
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Will Smith is a robo-phobic future cop whose investigation into a murder reveals plans for a full-on robot uprising. A slick sci-fi action flick with a little more smarts than your average popcorn blockbuster.

[Rev. Powell]

THE SKELETON TWINS (2014): Estranged fraternal twins reconnect and reveal secrets after married Maggie asks failed actor Milo to stay with her after his suicide attempt. Well-acted dramedy that (despite a suicide attempt) starts out light and pleasant, but ends up as a weepie. 3/5.

GHOST IN THE SHELL (1995): A government cyborg tracks down a terrorist hacker named the Puppetmaster. The intricate plot is hard to follow and not always well-explained, and the ultraviolence is at times ridiculous, but this is invigorating anime with beautiful visuals set in a carefully thought-out future that is actually somewhat believable for a change. 4/5, higher for anime fans.

[indianasmith]

I watched two movies this weekend:
HAZARD JACK (2013) - OK, I admit, I was really tired when I watched this one, so I turned the subtitles on and watched it on fast forward, slowing down for the good parts.  Basically, a psychologically damaged and physically deformed Iraq vet is hiding in an abandoned factory/hospital looking place, hiding his face behind a welder's mask.  Of course a group of college kids decide to hold a party/rave in the building, and while they are drinking and playing strip paintball, he stalks them one at a time (or two at a time) and kills most of them off before being fried by a lucky shot at a propane tank.  Lots of gore, headless sex (you have to see that scene to believe it), major decapitation sequences, and some pretty lame theme music.
THE HUNGOVER GAMES (2014)  OK, I have never seen any of the HANGOVER movies, but I have watched all the HUNGER GAMES movies, and this is an enjoyable mashup of the two.  Four buddies are celebrating a bachelor party because one of their friends is getting married to his boyfriend.  They do some really weird drugs, and wind up teleported to a dystopian future where Hollywood is being punished for its sins by having tributes from all its overused genres - the Shire district, the Depp district, the Sci-Fi District, the Marvel District, the Horror District, and Gratuitous Nudity district, the Django district, the Muppet District, and the Katnip Everlean district - battle it out in a duel to the death.  Filled with random nudity and mayhem, what follows is one of the most funny but raunchy comedies I've seen in awhile. Definitely not for the kids, but worth the rental.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Final" (2010)

http://youtu.be/FnSEdKLLMVE
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"Heathers" meets "Hostel" in this extremely dark, twisted horror/thriller. A group of high school bullies, Mean Girls and beautiful people are invited anonymously to a "party," which turns out to be orchestrated by the losers and misfits they usually prey on. Needless to say, these long suffering nerds have some rather creative revenge methods on their minds. Disturbing and effectively nasty stuff.

[Javakoala]

Just watched 1990: Bronx Warriors. Oh my sweet lord, the alcohol I consumed while watching this piece of trash did not destroy as many brain cells as this movie did.

Brainless, stupid, vapid, silly, and beyond belief. And then there was the other 90 minutes of this crapfest. Seriously, my brain hurts now. Not a headache--it is my brain trying to reject knowledge of this film. If Vic Morrow knew what this film was gonna be, I would like to think he would demand making Twilight Zone-The Movie first, just to avoid this massive steaming pile of feces.

Rant above aside, it was still infinitely better than Sucker Punch. But then having a root canal without pain killers is better than Sucker Punch.

[indianasmith]

HEY!!!!
Do NOT blaspheme the greatest film of all time in my presence!!!