Recent viewings

[BeyondTheGrave]

The Simpsons Movie (2007)-Had its moments that had me laughing and probably alot better than any recent episodes. Just wish they would keep the quality for the show.

3.5/5

[Rev. Powell]

BANANAS (1971): Trying to get over his breakup with Lousie Lasser, nebbish Fielding Mellish (Woody Allen) winds up in the fictional banana republic of San Marcos, eventually (and reluctantly) rising to the position of El Presidente. A minor gem from back in the day when Woody wanted nothing more than to make the audience laugh by any means possible (witness the Howard Cossell "Wide World of Sports" segments that bookend the movie).  4 out of 5.

CLOVERFIELD (2008): A jerky, panicky camcorder captures a gargantuan reptilian beast's rampage through the streets of New York City. Cleverly assembled and with unusual character depth, but those qualities aren't huge assets in a giant-monster-eats-Manhattan movie.  3.5 out of 5.

FEMALE TROUBLE (1975): The criminal career of Dawn Davenport is documented in an attempt to prove the thesis "crime equals beauty," in typically gross Waters fashion featuring psuedo-rape, tacky wallpaper, child abuse, absurd makeup, a woman imprisoned in a bird cage, beehive hairdos, mainlining eyeliner, Divine as a go-go dancer, implied paedophilia, puke, murder, and Edith Massey's saggy naked breasts.  Waters holds up a distorted lens to the unique stylistic and moral ugliness of the 1970s and creates a uniquely nightmarish world.  If you only see one early John Waters movie, make it this one.  (By the way, you should make it a point to only see one early John Waters movie).  3 out of 5.

THE MACK (1973): Returning from prison to the streets, Goldie decides to create a pimping empire, fighting racist cops, a drug dealing kingpin, rival pimps and his socially conscious brother along the way. Despite the injection of fresh blaxploitation themes into a tired rise and fall of a crimelord script, the film winds up more cliched than campy. Exceptional for the sartorial pimpwear and occasionally funny musings on the mackin' life only.  2 out of 5.

[Torgo]

STORM WARNING  (unrated)  *** out of ****.
Nasty and mean little piece of survivalist horror from the director of such turds as Urban Legend and Valentine. Needless to say I wasn't expecting much but this movie (while it takes a while to get going) eventually turns into one of the most mean spirited type revenge movies that I've seen in a while.  The gore is really quite brutal and I was pleasantly surprised at the viciousness of some of them. While nothing original worth checking out for horror fans into extreme gore/violence.

[Killer Bees]

The Breed (exec prod Wes Craven)  Some mild spoilerage!




Anything with Wes's name is usually pretty good.  But this was disappointing.  I expected it to be in line with Freddy Kruger, but it was just a drama.

Nice little plot about mutant dogs attacking a bunch of 20 somethings on a some island somewhere.  But the dogs were just survivors, albeit a little vicious.  They weren't superstrength or anything like I expected.

And what's with the dogs biting those few people?  They felt "weird" but didn't change or mutate themselves, apart from having hair trigger tempers.  And what's that all about them finding a doctor to "cure" them when they got back to civilisation?  Cure them from what?  Bad tempers?        There weren't even any physical changes, no extra limbs, no fangs, not even an oddly coloured iris or two.

I kept waiting for something gory or horrific to happen but the movie was over before I knew it.  If you're looking for something as a first step to horror this one is a nice intermediary between regular drama and supernatural/horror themes.  But if you're looking for killer mutant creatures (like I was) - forget it.

[Torgo]

Lewis & Clark & George  *1/2 out of ****
Rose McGowan topless!  That's pretty much all this atrocious 1997 Tarantino ripoff has going for it. It's about two male low life's who break out of jail and go in search of a fabled gold mine. They run into an astonishingly sexy mute woman played by Rose.  Her performance is actually really good as she doesn't have to say a word and has to play the role to the hilt with her facial expressions and amazing body. But other than her this movie is just plain painful to sit through.   

[HappyGilmore]

UHF- Such a good movie.

[Pilgermann]

Just watched the Spaghetti Western Keoma featuring Franco Nero as a half-breed with a lot of hair and an Italian accent.  It's famous for its crazy soundtrack that prominantly features awful singing that describes what's happening or what characters are feeling.  At first I wasn't too bothered by it (reminded me a little of the band Comus) but as the film goes on the singing becomes intrusive.  Otherwise, the soundtrack sans vocals is very cool. 

Regardless of the music, it's a decent and entertaining film.

[Rev. Powell]

THE DECAMERON (1971): Pier Paolo Pasolini stitches together nine stories from Boccacio's "Decameron", focusing on the bawdy and anti-clerical. Slow and arty, and several of the tales fizzle at their climax; rarely have graverobbing, infiltration into a convent of sex-starved nuns, and dong shots been made so boring.  LESSON LEARNED:  In 1971, men would sit through almost anything if they thought there was a chance of seeing a boobie.  2 out of 5.

BLOOD SIMPLE (1984):  When a Texas roadhouse bar owner hires an ethically challenged cowpoke detective to spy on his cheating wife and her bartender boyfriend, jealousy, greed, mistrust and fate cause events to spiral into a crazy, bloody finale. The opening scene, shot from a low angle against a rain-spattered windshield as blurry headlights rush towards the viewer, sets a tone of unease that never eases up.  LESSON LEARNED: Never hire a hitman who works out of a Volkswagen Beetle and wears a canary suit with a cowboy hat.  5 out of 5.

[Jack]

Venom - an old voodoo lady gets killed while transporting evil snakes.  A guy tries to save her and ends up getting bitten by the snakes, which turns him into an evil zombie sort of dude.  He stalks some hot babes and their boyfriends around Louisiana.  Not bad, the plot was pretty thin but the pretty girls made up for it.  The ending is just hilarious.

Boa - stars Dean Cain, and if it's not a Sci-Fi original, it should be.  Giant boa gets loose at a maximum security prison on the south pole.  Cain and his dwindling band of co-stars get chased around until the comical climax.

Boa vs. Python - ahhhh, Angel Boris.  She's so cute!  You get to see her topless in this one, or at least you would if you purchased the actual DVD.  I've just got a recording from the Sci-Fi channel.  Some guy gets a giant python and him and his buddies are going to hunt it.  But it gets loose so the CIA guy gets a giant Boa to track it and kill it.  Cute blond chick accompanies the Boa, along with that smart-aleck scientist from Stargate Atlantis.  Pure cheese, I enjoyed it immensely.

[threnody]

The Jerk (1979)

Steve Martin at his finest. I thoroughly enjoyed this film. He plays a young man who finds out he's never going to turn black like the rest of his family, so he goes out into the world to make a new life for himself. The sniper part was quite good.

"He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!"

[Killer Bees]

The Constant Gardner - Ralph Fiennes, Rachel Weisz

This is slow moving at the beginning but actually turns into quite a nice little story.  It's a terrible subject that I didn't even know existed and I hope the movie makers are just twisting it for drama's sake.

Ralph and Rachel are husband and wife who go to Africa for his Ralph's work, he's a British diplomat of some sort.  Rachel gets involved with the AIDS effort and helps an African doctor distribute medicine amongst the poor.  Medicine that gets donated "generously" by pharma companies.

There's a lot of betrayal and murder and experimentation on the disenfranchised of African society (ie, the unimportant ones).  Ralph's character is very boring and painfully shy at first, but he really comes into his own as the movie progresses and finds a strength and dignity in himself he didn't know he had.

You definitely need time to get invested in this movie to do it justice.  So don't look at it as a throw away 2 hours or so.  I really enjoyed it much to my surprise but I wouldn't buy it or watch it again.  It's a little too heavy for my comedy and horror soaked brain to deal with.

[glidewell]

Hatchet (Unrated Version) an excellent horror movie. Its got a gnarly villain, probably one of the best villains I've seen in a longtime. The kill scenes are just absolutely amazing, I really hope they release this flick in HD. And most important thing about the brand of horror found in Hatchet is that it dosent it take itself too seriously. I'm not saying its campy it just that its not pretentious

I also saw He Was A Quiet Man recently...I really liked this movie as well. The DVD has several alternate endings which is usually something that urks me about films vs DVD releases. But for this type of movie its perfect. This is one of those flicks that really makes you reflect on the nature of perception and thats why I like it most. I dont want to give away any plot elements cuz this is really a movie  about the individual drawing his own conclusions based on the versions of Reality presented.

[asimpson2006]

National Lampoon's Vacation *** 1/2 out of ****

I got the good laugh that I haven't had in a long time.  One of the funnier films that I've seen in my day.

National Lampoon's European Vacation ** 1/2 out of ****

I enjoyed some parts of the films, but though it was slightly overrated.

National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation *** out of ****

Much better than EV in many ways.  The acting was top notch and it was very enjoyable to watch.

[HappyGilmore]

Vegas Vacation was very underrated in my opinion.  In fact I'd say European was the worst of the bunch.

[asimpson2006]

Vegas Vacation was very underrated in my opinion.  In fact I'd say European was the worst of the bunch.

I still have yet to see the Direct to Video film Christmas Vacation 2.  Vegas Vacation was good to watch, and I saw a little bit of myself in that movie.  Watching Clark gamble his family's savings away is something that almost happened to me.  Some time ago I went to a casino and I didn't have much money at the time maybe $300, and I nearly ended up gambling it all away. 

I tend to get out of hand with that kind of stuff at times, so that is why I rarely gamble or play the lottery.