Recent viewings

[Jack]

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold - A centerfold model takes a beauty enhancing drug in order to better her chances at becoming centerfold of the year.  Of course she takes way too much and ends up 60 feet tall.  This was actually pretty boring.  The humor was extremely lame, and half the scenes were only in the movie to be funny - doesn't exactly equate to an interesting movie.  But there was lots of nudity, so I stuck it out to the end 

[Doggett]

The Invasion (2007)

2/5 A great story told badly is still watchable.

[Doggett]

Tomorrow Never Dies

4/5 one of my favourite Bonds

[Jack]

Fear Chamber (1968) - One of Boris Karloff's last movies.  Scientists discover a living rock, and it promises to give them great knowledge.  However, it needs to be fed with the blood of terrified women, so they create a "fear chamber" to terrify them.  Not actually too bad, the high point was some guy with a scar on the side of his head (I assume that's where they removed his brain and replaced it with a wind-up toy), he runs around announcing he wants to be the King of the World!  Just like Leonardo DiCaprio.  3/5.

Lake Dead (2007) - yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre type movie;  three sisters inherit a motel out in the woods, unfortunately the local inbred mutant hillbilly population wants to get jiggy with them.  The girls are completely uninteresting anorexic bleach blondes with names like "Brielle".  There was one interesting one, who took the time to walk around in her panties during her one scene (HOT!), but of course they killed her off immediately.  Favorite scene:  The kids have just escaped from their captors and are walking down the road - towards freedom!  Just then one girl twists her ankle.  Doesn't trip, doesn't step in a hole, just announces that she can't go any further.  This is during the day, and eventually the sheriff finds out they've escaped and goes looking for them.  This is at night.  He arrives to find them still squatting in the middle of the road with twisted ankle girl, as if they haven't moved an inch in hours.  2/5.

[lester1/2jr]

monsters crash the pajama party (1965) -This is definately the strangest packaging I've ever seen. You put on the DVD and the first page has 6 easter eggs or whatever. 3 of them go to the same thing: the main feature. Then there are weird trivia things and old promos and stuff. The Monsters crash the pajama party itself is a light hearted haunted house sort pf spoof with guys in cheap costumes and beach blanket bingo type teens and is like a half hour long. But then there are like 3 other rooms you can flip over to where you can find strange old footage of haunted huose movies from the 30's, the stupid ghost movie "tormented" in it's entirety, and 15 second clips of random stuff with crazy jazz music in the background. Whoever made this DVD is nuts!! I especially liked the puppet skeleton who dances then when the song gets really crazy the bones break apart.

[Doggett]

Dracula 1972 A.D.

4/5
A guy who reviewed this said it was dated by 1975
Everyone says "man"

"Look out, man"

Dracula only has 3 scenes in it.

It's hilarious. A must Buy!!!
It seems to be written by some middle aged guy who desperately is trying to be"down with the kids".

[Torgo]

TOKYO GORE POLICE   **1/2 out of ****.  Not as good as The Machine Girl despite the blood/gore/violence quotient being about twice the amount of TMG.  But the plot is pretty boring and pedestrian in addition to being  told in a most cofusing way.  The movie does deliver on the gore though and the film is quite perverse.

[Sister Grace]

TOKYO GORE POLICE   **1/2 out of ****.  Not as good as The Machine Girl despite the blood/gore/violence quotient being about twice the amount of TMG.  But the plot is pretty boring and pedestrian in addition to being  told in a most cofusing way.  The movie does deliver on the gore though and the film is quite perverse.

A friend of mine told me it had a pace alot like Meatball Machine, I'd like to see it but its not on my NetFlix que, did you find it to be anything like meatball machine?

Lake Dead (2007) - yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre type movie;  three sisters inherit a motel out in the woods, unfortunately the local inbred mutant hillbilly population wants to get jiggy with them.  The girls are completely uninteresting anorexic bleach blondes with names like "Brielle".  There was one interesting one, who took the time to walk around in her panties during her one scene (HOT!), but of course they killed her off immediately.  Favorite scene:  The kids have just escaped from their captors and are walking down the road - towards freedom!  Just then one girl twists her ankle.  Doesn't trip, doesn't step in a hole, just announces that she can't go any further.  This is during the day, and eventually the sheriff finds out they've escaped and goes looking for them.  This is at night.  He arrives to find them still squatting in the middle of the road with twisted ankle girl, as if they haven't moved an inch in hours.  2/5.

This movie was Baaad! They tried way too hard at developing the character of the drunken sister. Her opening scenes in her filthy apartment didn't really make her seem hard-core, just nasty and bad english.
I also hate it when movies try to hard to be cool by inserting useless pop-culture references...one line that should never be used in a movie: "Is that why I'm in your top ten (Myspace)" Who Cares!!! you (the character) is just going to be hacked to pieces very soon by some hill-jacks...
I also hate it when lines in movies (although I dont' think any were used in this one) include jargon such as: OMG! TTL! BFF!
am I alone on this?

[Jack]

I also hate it when movies try to hard to be cool by inserting useless pop-culture references...one line that should never be used in a movie: "Is that why I'm in your top ten (Myspace)" Who Cares!!! you (the character) is just going to be hacked to pieces very soon by some hill-jacks...

I didn't even know what that "top ten" thing was about, I assumed they were talking about presets on their telephone.  Ah, I'm always about ten years behind the times 

Anaconda 3 (2008)- Scientists create giant snake, giant snake gets loose, professional hunters (the Hoff!!!) track it down, shoot it approximately a million times with their unlimited ammo assault rifles, etc.  About the only good thing about this movie is the lead scientist, played by Crystal Allen.  Wow!  Totally hot and the movie makers were nice enough to dress her in a variety of sexy outfits throughout the movie.  Oh, her character really isn't the least bit likable, but whatever.  Some of the CGI is good for a chuckle, and they don't even make it to the first commercial break before they're showing flashbacks to what happened earlier in the movie, featuring the same laughable CGI.  Basically this is indistinguishable from about five dozen other Sci-Fi Channel Originals.  I'll give it a (very) charitable 2.5/5. 

[Rev. Powell]

CUBE ZERO (2005):  Soldiers observing prisoners navigate a booby-trapped prison Cube start to question whether the Cube's builders have humanity's best interests at heart.  The atmosphere of mystery and paranoia from the first two CUBE films is jettisoned in favor of explicit gore, elaborate traps, and a cartoonish villain with a glittery metal implant for an eye. This entry probably deals a fatal blow to the CUBE franchise, because the mystery as to the Cube's origin and purpose is explained, but it's not a terrible movie strictly on a Movie level.  2.5/5.

[Sister Grace]

Pineapple Express- lets just say I fell asleep after 45 minutes and didn't bother to try and watch it again... I"d give it 1/5.

The Entrance- (not sure what year) watched this on FearNet yesterday, it wasn't too bad, it had some interesting parts and I was suprised in the end of the reason why the occult picked out one particular police-woman. This movie loves circular reasoning though and can get sort of repetitive at points. Its worth checking out online, but i wouldn't waste money on buying it. 2/5

[Jack]

Unearthed (2007) - Some archaeologist does something that causes an ancient beast to be released (looks almost identical to an Alien), and it proceeds to chase after the inhabitants of a small town.  Emmanuelle Vaugier plays the drunken sheriff.  I saw this on the Sci-Fi Channel and thought it had excellent suspense.  Watched the DVD yesterday and I'm like "What the hell was I thinking?"  The action scenes are terrible, with a thousand edits.  Apparently done by a hyperactive 9 year old.  The plot is explained in such a way that's it's indecipherable, and it's not helped by the fact that this is one of those movies that it's almost impossible to actually pay attention to.  Gives your subwoofer a good workout though.  2/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Crossing the line-  amazing documentary free on demand.  about a guy who crossed over the DMZ into north korea some 47 years ago and stayed.  north koreais relly freaky and austere.  he seems to have had a pretty good life there.   his life in america was prety bad, he'd been abandonded by pretty much everyone he cared about.    he notes there was horrible starvation in the 90's in north koreabut he still got his rations.  yeah great for you dude, whatabout everyone who starved and died!! 

[Rev. Powell]

POD PEOPLE (MST3K):  Great movie for MST3K, one of those that has a few WTF scenes worth viewing but would be just too boring to watch without running commentary.  A French/Spanish ET ripoff, only this time the anteater-faced alien the "adorable" moppet adopts may be bumping off members of a Eurotrash karaoke band.  Host segments weren't that funny, up until the completely out of left field musical finale, "Clown in the Sky" ("will there still be a clown in the sky... for... me?")  IT STINKS!  4/5. 

[Torgo]

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D   ** out of ****.  Not as good as the original. It has some cool moments but overall is only worth seeing in 3-D as that element is used to good effect.  The twist ending in particularly  is handled poorly.