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« Reply #7890 on: August 24, 2014, 06:54:36 AM »

"Howling IV: The Original Nightmare" (1988) a stressed out L.A. author is troubled by supernatural visions, so she heads to a small town cottage to get away ftom it all. Unfortunately, the place has a slight werewolf problem. Yeah, I hate when that happens too.
...poorly acted, cheap looking direct to video crap full of plot holes, lapses in logic and generally WTF moments. Avoid!
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« Reply #7891 on: August 24, 2014, 07:50:55 AM »

I finally saw DIVERGENT last night and was fairly impressed.
Interesting premise, decent acting, and lots of suspense.
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« Reply #7892 on: August 24, 2014, 09:43:09 AM »

"American Ninja" (1985) A U.S. Army private stationed in the Philippines uses his martial arts skills to battle a mercenary arms dealer and his private Ninja squadron. Mucho ass gets kicked in this enjoyably silly slab of 80s action cheez.
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JaseSF
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« Reply #7893 on: August 24, 2014, 06:38:35 PM »

Hercules Against the Moon Men (1964): The inhabitants of Samar, desperate to escape the oppression of the evil Queen Samara (Jany Clair) who continues the practice of sacrificing their young to an evil alien race of Moon Men who dwell on a nearby mountain and whom she's secretly entered into a pact with, summon Hercules (Sergio Ciani under the moniker Alan Steel) in hopes he can save them.

In many ways, this is just a remake of Hercules and the Captive Women only with less interesting characters and a lot less humor and fun. In this one, the god Uranus and his priests have been replaced with alien moon men (we only ever see one of them and their queen whom they are trying to revive with blood) and the slow-moving rock creature monsters they control. In both, a queen is sacrificing youth so that she can gain power and conquer the world, both involve Hercules battling against destructive natural phenomenon in the end. This movie though is like I said a lot less interesting. This one proves very dull with way too many scenes of people walking and climbing the mountain where the moon men inhabit in the face of stormy weather (this seems to go on forever during the film). There are a few neat feats of strength and escape scenes and the women especially the Queen's sister Princess Billis (Delia D'Alberti), Hercules' love interest Agar (Anna Maria Polani) and Jany Clair as the Queen herself, are quite lovely. The Moon Men do look pretty cool IMO. It's too bad the movie proves mostly an utter bore with an anticlimactic conclusion. Disappointing and painfully bad. ** out of ***** stars.

Hercules and the Captive Women (1961): In a vision, Androcles (Ettore Manni) and Hercules (Reg Park) see Greece threatened by a foreign power. Androcles, along with a reluctant Hercules, eventually sets sail in search of this unknown threat and wind up on the island of Atlantis which is ruled by an evil queen named Antinea (Fay Spain) who's secretly plotting to take over the world with an army of super soldiers infused with the blood of Uranus, the evil god of Atlantis. Hercules and his friends including his son Illo (Luciano Marin), who secretly stowed away on Androcles' ship, set out to stop them along the way rescuing and finding a valuable ally in Princess Ismene (Laura Efrikian), the daughter of Queen Antinea whom she wants executed to insure her place on the throne.

Actually this film was pretty good. It does have some dry stretches in it where not so much is happening and all the talk about Uranus does at times prove unintentionally funny but aside from that, this is a pretty good formula Hercules actioner (we have the evil queen, fight with monsters, feats of strength, trickery by characters including Hercules). The dubbing is often hilariously bad though. I suspect this one would be better in its original Italian form. The early fight with the shape shifting monster son of Uranus proves most memorable and the lovely women involved here are at least easy on the eyes. The rest plays pretty much as one would expect and there's some surprisingly fun touches of humor that make this film remind me a little of the 90s TV series.  A bit better than most of these offerings. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964): Hercules (Peter Lupus under the moniker Rock Stevens) hopes to rescue his people the Hellenes, including his Queen and love Asparia (Anna Maria Polani), from slavery at the hands of the Babylonians. To do so, he makes an unlikely agreement with King Phaleg (Mario Petri) of Assyria, who sends some of his men, after being earlier ambushed by the Babylonians, to help Hercules infiltrate Babylon which is ruled by three siblings - the intelligent and cunning Azzur (Tullio Altamura), the warlike Salman Osar (Livio Lorenzon), and the beautiful and ambitious Taneal (Helga Liné).

This movie features lots of double dealing and double crossing by its many characters, so much so at times it almost seems hard to keep track of it all. The performances given by the lovely Helga Liné as Taneal and perhaps to a lesser degree that of Anna Maria Polani as Asparia is arguably this film's best feature. The rest seems pretty dry and dull at times and the club Hercules uses constantly at times seems pretty silly. Peter Lupus' Hercules also seems a bit more reserved than many other versions and the plot is more akin to a biblical epic in many ways than a typical Hercules movie. Still it does have some good moments. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

The Gods Must Be Crazy II (1989): Xixo (N!xau) and his family are back for another adventure. This time Xixo's kids Xisa (Nadies) and Xiri (Eiros) accidentally stow away on a fast moving poacher's truck. Xixo sets off in pursuit. Along the way, he meets up with a buffoonish pair of enemy soldiers trying to capture one another, and the stranded pilot Dr. Stephen Marshall (Hans Strydom) and passenger Dr. Ann Taylor (Lena Farugia) of a small plane who are trying to make their way back out of the Kalihari.

This was quite funny. It was nicely put together having all these random characters all come to connect with one another each starting from a different starting point and perspective. The best bits honestly involved the buffoonish soldiers and their encounters with Dr. Ann Taylor. Lena Farugia honestly steals the show here for the most part and has nice chemistry with Hans Strydom. Another running gag involves Taylor's dress and there's a funny bit with a badger. Xixo comes through again in terms of helping these often hapless characters survive the harsh Kalihari and knowing best oftentimes how to get them out of trouble although his own kids seem to have a knack here of getting into trouble all their own. A really fun little movie. Quite enjoyable. Perhaps does not  have as much to say about the world though as the first film did. Still I'm giving it  **** out of ***** stars.
« Last Edit: August 24, 2014, 06:42:35 PM by JaseSF » Logged

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« Reply #7894 on: August 25, 2014, 08:47:49 AM »

INFERNAL STREET (1973): A doctor's assistant who also happens to be a kung fu prodigy fights a gang of Japanese opium smugglers. An easy-to-follow story with decent fighting, but wow! is this ever racist against the Japanese. 2/5.
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« Reply #7895 on: August 25, 2014, 04:00:02 PM »

Hercules Unchained (1959): Hercules (Steve Reeves), along with new wife Iole (Sylva Koscina) and young friend Ulisses (Gabriele Antonini), returns to Thebes. There he finds his home has been cast into dispute between two brothers on the verge of war over the throne. Hercules sets out on a new mission hoping to negotiate a peace but before he can do so gets sidetracked by the evil Queen Omfale (Sylvia Lopez) and her army who captures him after he drinks from the waters of forgetfulness and he no longer remembers who he is. Queen Omfale soon tries to convince Hercules he is her husband and Hercules seems more than willing to fall into her trap. Meanwhile Ulisses, pretending to be a deaf mute, plots to help try and make Hercules remember who he really is in hopes of escaping especially when he learns just what became of Queen Omfale's former lovers.

Sure this is quite bad in a lot of ways, it's also surprisingly fun to watch. I really enjoy this one honestly, it's just so representative of the peplum genre. We have an hot evil queen not to mention Hercules' super smoking hot wife Iole both of whom men generally seem quickly taken with, we have Hercules' really enjoying being a lazy bum and taking it easy with the hot queen while conveniently having forgotten his wife, we have Ulisses acting downright goofy when not playing servant boy to Hercules especially as he tries to convince Hercules of his true identity. We gets displays of power from Hercules, we get lots of sword and war battles. We get a duel. We get pathos, we get romance, we get passion, we get action, we get lots of scantily clad girls, we get horror (the revelation as to Omfale's former lovers), we get humor (albeit some unintentional). Yep, this one is a really fun little bad movie IMO. **** out of ***** stars.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2014, 04:02:18 PM by JaseSF » Logged

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« Reply #7896 on: August 25, 2014, 08:10:51 PM »

I watched a horror feature called CRAWL OR DIE last night.
The first few minutes were very hard to follow.  A team of space marines
is given the task of escorting the last still-fertile human female left on earth
to the new Earth II colony to reboot humanity.  But when they get there,
some evil, carnivorous alien is stalking the group, and they have to flee through
a network of ever-shrinking tunnels to get to the colony before the monster
catches up and devours them all.

It wasn't a bad story, and the ending was quite good, but the editing was choppy,
the sound poor, and the back story not adequately explained.

Could have been a whole lot better.  But the alien looked pretty cool.
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« Reply #7897 on: August 26, 2014, 05:27:04 AM »

In the Mouth of Madness - If you ignore its (allegedly) trying to emulate Lovecraft, its a good movie, albeit (contrary to my 18-year-old self's thoughts in '02) never scary. The character scenes are very natural though. Maybe 4/5.

I also the very good Night Skies last night (skies). I figured I'd prefer watching it before the tiredness set it. Didn't watch it quite early enough.
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« Reply #7898 on: August 26, 2014, 06:37:35 AM »

Panic (1976) - I fell asleep three evenings in a row trying to watch this. By the time I finally finished it up last night I couldn't remember what the subplots were about TeddyR Anyhow some scientists create a monster that looks like a guy in a Halloween mask with matching rubber gloves. He shambles around and kills a few people. The police try to track him down. At one point he's attacking the police captain but the other cops burst in and start shooting. Monster goes shambling off. In the next scene they're looking at a map trying to predict where he will strike next. Um, why didn't you idiots just follow him? He was only going about 1 mile per hour. I'm afraid that when a movie puts me sound asleep three times I can't really recommend it; 2/5.

The Man from Planet X (1951) - an old favorite of mine. An alien comes to earth in his space capsule and some scientists and a reporter make contact with him out on the foggy moors. At first he seems friendly but then the evil scientist makes an enemy out of him. Will humanity survive?!?!  I like the atmosphere and the characters in this one. The alien is pretty cool looking too in that really retro early '50s way. 4/5.
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« Reply #7899 on: August 26, 2014, 09:54:23 AM »

CLOUDY WITH A CHANE OF MEATBALLS (2009): A hapless inventor develops a machine that makes food rain from the sky, rejuvenating his hometown's formerly sardine-based economy; things predictably get out of control. Luscious showers of cheeseburgers and avalanches of pizza, with a drizzle of smart, funny writing and a side of Mr. T as an overzealous cop make this a smorgasbord of entertainment. 4.5/5.
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« Reply #7900 on: August 26, 2014, 01:13:41 PM »

The Lost Jungle (1934): Famous animal trainer Clyde Beatty (playing himself), along with old friend/promoter Larry Henderson (Syd Saylor), goes on an adventurous search in a flying dirigible for his girlfriend Ruth Robinson (Cecilia Parker) who's been lost, along with her father and the crew of a shipwrecked vessel [they had originally set out on an exploration mission with Professor Livingston] on a deserted jungle island named Kamor, said to be inhabited by all sorts of wild animals including bears, tigers, and lions.

This shortened movie version of an old Republic movie serial is actually pretty well edited to the point one really doesn't notice too much all the missing serial footage. The film is really a showcase for Clyde Beatty and his astounding animal training act where he manages to exert control over numerous different wild animal species within the same cage including bears, leopards, panthers, tigers, and lions. Aside from that, it's a typical adventure film with our hero going in search of his lost love while also having to tangle with even more lions and tigers, not to mention a jealous scheming villain named Sharkey (Warner Richmond) who really doesn't have Beatty's back (in fact he's constantly putting our hero in deadly peril) even though Beatty seems to remain clueless to it just as much as he seems clueless when it comes to romancing Ruth as well. Syd Saylor provides some nice comic relief throughout and I really enjoyed his presence in the film. Without him, I suspect it would have proven much duller. Still this is very much a product of its time and is somewhat dated. Nothing like this would ever get made today and arguably the treatment of animals in these old circus acts is somewhat questionable. Also the disregard for human life and safety in this film does prove a bit surprising. I will say for Beatty though that he does state in the film he disapproves of the mistreatment of his animals and he was perhaps the greatest of animal trainers. A bit dated and predictable, in terms of entertainment value I'll give this  *** out of ***** stars (but I'm adding half a star for historical value).
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« Reply #7901 on: August 26, 2014, 06:10:49 PM »

Mesa of Lost Women (1953): Hidden away in an underground laboratory on the desert Zarpa Mesa is a mad scientist named Dr. Aranya (Jackie Coogan) who's been conducting secret experiments creating giant spiders from human hormones and turning humans into spider-like creatures with hormones from spiders. Following a plane crash on Zarpa Mesa, the passengers and pilot of said plane find themselves hunted by unseen creatures in the night.

This was unbelievably bad even by bad movie standards. The plot is super convoluted and told via flashbacks within flashbacks, the opening narration from Lyle Talbot brings to mind the later Coleman Francis The Beast of Yucca Flats only perhaps nowhere near as zen-like. Really though, the filmmaker this most recalls is Ed Wood given many of his later familiar faces played small bits in the film (Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon plus Talbot as narrator) particularly during the night shots of the film's scary characters looking on watching their potential victims wandering around. This wasn't directed by him though, it was actually directed by Ron Ormond and the film's writer Herbert Tavros. Actually Tavros originally started the film and Ormond took on the job of completing it when money ran out. Also on hand here is the man who played Ro-Man from Robot Monster as sanitarium nurse George who's on the trail of an escaped mental patient named Dr. Leland Masterson (Harmon Stevens) who plays a key factor in getting our characters to the mesa. The subplot budding unexpected romance between Doreen Culbertson (Paula Hill) and pilot Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp) soon takes center stage in the film all the while looming faces of scary dwarfs, exotic twisted beauties, and an unconvincing giant spider watches on. The worst thing about this music is the Mexican guitar strumming that repeats endlessly as one watches. If this were to go on any more than a little over an hour, one might go nuts. Honestly, I suspect this movie has torture potential. The best thing about it are the exotic beauties especially Tarantella played by Tandra Quinn. Recommended only for folks like us. ** out of ***** stars (1 for Quinn, 1 for the creepy night shots - I'm tempted to throw in half a star for Talbot's narration but I'll end it there)
« Last Edit: August 26, 2014, 06:12:53 PM by JaseSF » Logged

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« Reply #7902 on: August 27, 2014, 07:26:30 AM »

Dark Mirror (2007) - a couple and their kid moves into a new house. I was going to say "young" couple but then I noticed the lead actress is only a year younger than me BounceGiggle Anyhow the woman is a photographer and soon notices that anyone she takes a picture of goes missing. And there are weird things in the house - you can see things in the mirror that aren't there in real life. Is the house haunted or is it...something else entirely? I really liked Lisa Vidal in the lead, her character is likable and sympathetic. And more than a little bit sexy. And the movie throws some nice plot twists at you towards the end. 4/5.
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« Reply #7903 on: August 27, 2014, 07:42:39 AM »

agree with Jase on Mesa of Lost Women. The spider lady is cool but the guitar is dreadful

MST3K Time Chasers- I've seen this a couple of times now. In the beginning Mike Nelson notes that the filmmakers were apparently excited about it being on the show but somehow didn't understand that they would be making fun of it. They had a big party to celebrate when it came on and were aghast at what they saw.

I'll probably watch it once again at some point. why not 4.5 /5 
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« Reply #7904 on: August 27, 2014, 05:52:54 PM »

Assignment: Outer Space (1960): Interplanetary reporter Ray Peterson (Rik Van Nutter), doing a story on deep space missions and feeling initially a very unwanted spectator, suddenly finds himself part of a crew engaged in a last ditch secret effort to save the Earth from destruction because of an out of control spaceship named Alpha 2 which is radiating large amounts of heat in an almost impenetrable force field around it.

This little space opera from Italian director Antonio Margheriti has some surprising similarities to the later 2001: A Space Odyssey when one really stops and thinks about it. No, it's not exactly the same but I definitely do see some potential influences there. Most will find this a bit on the dry side although space opera Sci-Fi fans who don`t mind a bit of a slow pace should enjoy this. I really felt this had some nice little touches here and there adding some surprise and suspense in key scenes. I really liked the twist towards the end which puts Peterson yet once more in peril. I really liked some of the characters too, especially Al (played by Archie Savage) and Lucy (Gabriella Farinon) whose presence in the film leads to a potential love triangle between Peterson, herself, and the mission Commander George (David Montresor). The initial treatment of the unwanted reporter had a believable edge IMO. The FX aren't quite as good as one would like and the film's low budget sometimes shows through but despite this, I enjoyed the film. Of course, as a lover of sci-fi and space operas, I'm probably better able to sit through this one than the average viewer. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Laser Mission (1989): An American CIA agent named Michael Gold (Brandon Lee) tries to rescue famed laser scientist Professor Braun (Ernest Borgnine) from enemy forces fearing the dangerous potential of his knowledge of laser weaponry combined with a recently stolen large diamond falling into enemy hands. Gold is joined and aided by Braun's daughter Alissa (Debi A. Monahan), reportedly KGB, in his mission.

Honestly this is a mindlessly fun action film. Don't think too much while watching this and you'll probably enjoy it more. Basically it appears Lee is trying to rescue Borgnine from falling into the hands of a combined stereotypical communist force of Russians, Germans, and Cubans while the film seems to be taking place somewhere in Africa. Along for the ride and providing eye candy in an ill-fitting blue dress which show offs her breast assets so to speak is Debi Monahan. While she looks good, she does have a shrill squeaky voice not unlike that of Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory so it works best when she doesn't speak too much. The acting is generally horrible in this film but clearly that was nowhere near as important to the director here as having numerous gunfights, explosions, and a whole lot of crazy action. There was also a comedy relief bit involving the Cuban soldiers. Has lots of potential for riffing this one but honestly there's loads of action films pretty near as bad as this one and many of those aren't nowhere near as much bad movie fun. ***1/2 out of ***** stars (although best recommended to folks like us, to most everybody else, this would probably rank a star or two)

Killers From Space (1954): While monitoring the testing of a nuclear bomb, Dr. Doug Paul Martin (Peter Graves) and his airplane pilot are involved in a terrible crash. However at the site of the plane crash, Martin's body is missing although the pilot is dead and the plane destroyed. Later Martin unexpectedly and inexplicably turns up showing no ill signs aside from having two mysterious new scars on his chest. Martin finds himself haunted at night by dreams of bulging, googly eyes staring at him and finds himself drawn into the military base where he works to locate secret documents but for whom? and why? Eventually given a truth serum, we learn that Martin was abducted by aliens and given a mission to steal secrets for them. Martin however is determined to stop them and their conquest of Earth any way that he can. The only problem is that no one, including his colleagues Dr. Kruger (familiar face Frank Gerstle), Briggs (Steve Pendleton), or Col. Banks (James Seay) nor even his wife Ellen (Barbara Bestar) seems to believe him or his fantastic story.

Actually I rather enjoyed this classic sci-fi chiller. The aliens actually do prove somewhat creepy (although some might think them goofy or silly looking) especially when their faces take on a moon-like round look, the abduction sequences actually do seem similar to many later reportedly "real" cases. The army of super sized insects and lizards was appropriate to the era and the cast give enjoyable performances especially Graves in the lead. The biggest flaw here is that the aliens basically give up information about their plans much too easily and for no apparent reason and the conclusion with regards to them is much too easily achieved. The sequence in the power plant also goes on much too long. Still I enjoyed this one enough I'm giving it ***1/2 out of ***** stars too (granted though it's more likely to appeal to less demanding sci-fi and bad movie fans).
« Last Edit: August 27, 2014, 07:17:28 PM by JaseSF » Logged

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