Recent viewings

[etmoviesb]

Santa with Muscles [1996]... It is a so bad is good movie, and it was a problem for Hogan acting career.
Ironically I found the scenes with Hogan, with the children, and the orphan manager (Mila Kunis) the best.

Too bad there is a total a***ole always around Hogan (someone just broke his head in front of you? steal his wallet! taking the great amount of cash is not enough? mess with his fragile mind to steal more! he redeems, but heck!) and the bad guys are terrible...
 
Just I wonder what director, whoever wrote the script, and choreographers were thinking...

In short, sure it is a bad, fun pop-corn, switch your brain off movie. But most of the badness is not fault of Hogan or Kunis. Actually they gave to the movie the good points...

[indianasmith]

I have been on a complete movie bender this week, so I have three films to report on since my last post:
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP (2014) Nicole Kidman and Colin Firth star in this wonderful thriller about a woman who suffers
recurring amnesia after a car accident.  Every night, her mind erases all her memories ever since the time of the
accident (yes, I know, they stole the plot gimmick from FIFTY FIRST DATES, but they took the same gimmick in a
much darker direction this time!).  Her patient husband Ben has to explain who he is, why she is waking up in his bed, and
why she is 40 instead of 20 every single morning.  But, as she works with a doctor to recover her memories, she
discovers there are some things that Ben isn't telling her - and some of her long submerged memories are beginning
to recur.  Most shockingly, she discovers that her condition is not due to an accident, but rather to a savage beating
she endured at the hands of an unknown assailant.  She also finds out that she had a son, who is now deceased.  The
revelations come thick and fast for the rest of the movie, and the final plot twist was nicely unexpected. 4.5/5

This morning my girls and I watched a British horror film called FINAL PRAYER.  A priest in a remote Scottish church is
convinced that a miracle has occurred: during an infant baptism, the candles and cross on the alter table begin to move
of their own accord!  A team from the Vatican comes in to verify the claim, and they discover that strange things are indeed
afoot at the church - but their origin may not be heavenly!  This one was very slow to get going, but it did have a pretty
good punch at the end.  I'll be generous and give it a 4/5, but you might not like it as much as I did.

Then, about an hour ago, I watched a goofy, over-the-top gorefest called ZOMBIEWORLD.  This one is set in the post-zombie
apocalypse future, where a news reporter is breaking to different regions of the world, where people are dealing in different ways
with the zombie outbreak.  He also does a historical piece on the very first recorded zombie attack - when Jesus raised Lazarus
from the dead, he came back as a flesh muncher, infecting the entire village.  It was up to Jesus and his faithful apostle Judas
to put down the undead monsters, using only fish as their weapons (fortunately Jesus was able to not only multiply the fish,
but also to change up species according to whether he and Judas needed throwing stars, swords, or chainsaws!  As theologically
offensive as it was, this piece alone elevates this film to the bad movie stratosphere!  The other vignettes were alternately
funny or just gruesome; the reporter who narrates the transitions has been bitten and is slowly morphing to a zombie the whole
time, too, setting up a predictable but bloody ending.   On the bad movie scale, this one definitely rates a solid 5/5!

[etmoviesb]

Yesterday I saw "Ninja Terminator"... oh dear. It is really a "So bad, is horrible" movie; the plot makes no sense; the fight scenes with non-ninjas are bad; the ninjas move in a strangely rigid motion, it seems (and checking the director probably his) a hodgepodge mash of different movies...
The ninja fight scene are preposterous, but fun though.

[Rev. Powell]

LA MARSEILLAIS (1938): The early days of the French Revolution told from the perspective of three foot-soldiers from Marseilles, with peeks into Louis XVI's royal chambers for contrast. Epic, but up until the climax there are more fraternal speeches than bloodshed, and the overall effect is more patriotic than enlightening. 3.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Maniac Cop 2" (1991)

Maniac Cop 2 1080p HD Movie Trailer - Blue Underground

The undead killer cop is back on the streets of the Big Apple for more slashings, shootings and mayhem in Larry Cohen's awesomely sleazy action/slasher sequel. This is one of my all time favorite  "B" flicks, it's tons of fun that outdoes the original "Maniac Cop" in every department.

[lester1/2jr]

"three foot-soldiers from Marseilles, " must have been hard for them for see what was going on

[Rev. Powell]

"three foot-soldiers from Marseilles, " must have been hard for them for see what was going on

Now that would have made a bad movie! "Le Midget Musketeers du Marsailles"!

[JaseSF]

The Crawling Hand (1963): Something unseen overtakes an astronaut on a space mission and his capsule is detonated in space. Later a young medical student named Paul (Rod Lauren) and his girlfriend Marta (Sirry Steffen),  while frolicking on the beach, stumble across the astronaut's severed hand. For some unknown reason, the student later returns and retrieves the hand and brings it back to his boarding house where he hides it until it comes back to life to strangle the living and possess his mind.

This is one of those true bad movie classics, a movie so bad it borders on being good. It's inept in practically every way be it the writing, certainly the hammy acting and overacting, the ridiculousness of the script and plot. Look out for numerous familiar bad movie character actors/actresses including a bit role for Allison Hayes as the astronaut's love interest, Alan Hale (Skipper from Gilligan's Island) as the town Sheriff, Peter Breck, Kent Taylor, and Richard Arlen. Swedish Steffen seems to have been only cast for her looks as she certainly can't act and Lauren's performance almost calls to mind performances in Dwain Esper's Maniac (1934) as does some later scenes involving cats and the hand. Surprisingly enjoyable on a bad movie level although it's a little slow getting started. On a bad movie scale, I'd give this ***1/2 out of ***** stars. (For regular moviegoers, it's probably a * or ** star film).

Circus of Fear (1966): Following the trail of criminals responsible for an armored vehicle bank heist and murder, detectives end up scoping out a circus when stolen loot begins to get spent in the area nearby. Eventually our story takes an even darker turn when even more murder victims turn up all getting killed by a circus knife thrower's knife. We meet a bunch of possible suspects including the hooded lion tamer Gregor (Christopher Lee), midget Skip Martin as Mr. Big, a jealous knife thrower named Mario (Maurice Kaufmann) whose girlfriend Gina (Margaret Lee) might know a bit too much, struggling circus owner Barberini (Anthony Newlands), nosy Carl (Heinz Drache) whose a little too interested in Gregor and his family especially his niece Natasha (Suzy Kendall)? Is it the weird Manfred (Klaus Kiniski), earlier connected with the heist, who keeps lurking around the circus? Yes this is basically a crime film, a whodunnit set in a circus.

This one runs through many predictable cliches one expects from a mystery. There are red herrings aplenty, comic relief, and lots of suspects. Overall I found this one to be a bit of a mixed bag: I liked the camerawork and cinematography especially in the opening scenes, there are hints here too as to what's going down if one really pays attention. However the back story here proves much too convoluted, the opening feels like an action movie or fast-paced heist film but we soon see the pace come to an almost dead stop once we get to the circus setting, the circus stock footage is much too obviously stock footage, and every character seems to spend considerable time smoking. The final conclusion proves rather anticlimactic too and the big reveal is kind of a letdown. *** out of ***** stars.

Teenage Monster (1958): On the outskirts of a small Western town, a meteor crash affects a young boy named Charles leading him to turn into a full fledged monster (he looks rather like a scarred caveman/werewolf) with a penchant for killing just seven years later. His mother Ruth (Anne Gwynne) tries to discourage his horrible behavior and pretty much keeps him locked up in his room as she knows the town are on the hunt after the monster/killer.

This is another one of those so bad it borders on being good bad movies. I really enjoyed it. Sure it was completely over the top ridiculous especially Charles as a young teenager looking like an hulking caveman of sorts (the make-up was actually done by the legendary Jack Pierce who obviously didn't have the budget to do something truly remarkable here) who talks and whines like a combination whiny kid/dog. The introduction of a greedy waitress named Kathy (Gloria Castillo) to the plot takes this in an even darker direction as she tries to manipulate and control young and naive Charles for her own twisted ends. This was pretty much a Western/Monster on the loose film. The storyline element of a mother hiding her deformed son actually had some potential but not with what we see presented on screen here although Gwynne arguably manages to rise above the material at times with her performance and Castillo steals the show in her villainous role. Surprisingly enjoyable trash. On a bad movie scale, I'd give this **** out of ***** stars. (On a regular movie scale, it's a * or ** star film)

[etmoviesb]

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe [1995]... Oh dear! This is a GREAT movie... I kinda like giant monster in general, but this movie has shivers run down my spine multiple times. I was wondering if perhaps I was cold... no, it was the movie.
It is an incredible mix of drama, giant monster fight, human stupidity (but in a realistic sense) and army action...

[lester1/2jr]

Jase - did you ever see Idle Hands?

[Alex]

Watched Fury last night. While not a bad movie by itself it did feel very much like I'd seen it all before. Rookie soldier joins experienced group ****SPOILER ALERT**** which goes into action on a vital mission only for all the veterans to be killed off one by one, leaving only the new guy alive at the end. Lays on the war is hell message, but nothing in it hits you with the same emotional power as say, the opening of Saving Private Ryan.

[Rev. Powell]

POM POKO (1994): A community of shapeshifting "racoons" (actually Japanese mammals called "tanuki") struggle to deal with suburban encroachment on their forest homes, inventing schemes that range from arranging "hauntings" to all-out war. A remarkable Studio Ghibli adventure in Japanese mythology that is all the more involving because it makes no concessions to Western audiences. 4/5.

[JaseSF]

Jase - did you ever see Idle Hands?

No I haven't seen that one as of yet. Probably some Crawling Hand influence there?

The Beatniks (1960): After being discovered by a music agent, young Eddy Crane (Tony Travis) has the potential to make it big as a singer. However standing in the way of any potential success for him are the gang of punk hoodlum/greasers he hangs around with. Inevitably they lead Eddy down the road to trouble.

Yet another so bad it's almost good movie. Despite the title of this film, there's not a beatnik to be found here, not even the slightest hint of that subculture is present. Instead we see stereotypical 1950s style hoodlum punks. The music Eddy sings isn't even beatnik, it's more along the lines of traditional crooners. That said, I found Eddy a surprisingly likable character who has just fallen in with the wrong crowd. His friends though are laughably over-the-top stereotypes most ridiculous of all being Peter Breck wildly hyper and hammy performance as the psychotic Mooney who threatens to "Moon" any characters who push him a little bit hard. Him threatening to do that made me laugh out loud although I think he means knock off instead of moon. The sudden quick romance with Helen (Joyce Terry) though seems a little hard to buy into as well but it works a bit better than I expected. Jealous Iris (Karen Kadler) as the only female member of the gang comes across as whiny and childish while Red (Sam Edwards) seems constantly wired like he's on speed or something. The scenes in restaurants, bars, and in the hotel are quite over the top. Weird how they just kind of forget about Red in the end. Surprisingly enjoyable on a bad movie level. On that scale, I'd give this a ***1/2 out of ***** star rating. (For regular moviegoers, I suspect it would be a * or ** star film).

Teenage Bad Girl (1956): British take on a teenager being lead astray 1950s style story. Here the focus is on seventeen year old Janet Carr (Sylvia Syms) getting involved with bad boy no good Tony Ward Black (Kenneth Haigh) who entices her away from her traditional good girl ways, values, and the proper behavior she learned from her widow mother Valerie Carr (Anna Neagle) all due to the promise of madly exciting stuff such as jive dancing, drinking and partying all night in smoke filled nightclubs. She rebels even more when her mother is distracted with a new love interest in writer Hugh Manning (Norman Wooland). Eventually this teenage rebellion leads Janet down a tragic path.

Despite its sensational and exploitative taglines, I mostly found this movie to be a bit of a bore. The premise here seems as believable for the most part as what was presented in Reefer Madness as the main evil at work appears to be the excitement of jive dancing and mainly dancing to the same annoying song "Get With It!" over and over again throughout the film. What Syms does here hardly seems all that different really than what many teens do in real life and most of them don't end up with their lives ruined (perhaps some do but we really don't see this explored in any realistic fashion here). That said, I did like the performances given by Syms, Neagle, Wooland, and Julia Lockwood as Janet's likable little sister Poppet. Still this doesn't rise this material above being mostly dull. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

[lester1/2jr]

Jase- yes. It's a horror comedy. with Jessica Alba

[Jack]

Mermaid double feature night:

Killer Mermaid (2014) - some young people go to an oceanside resort and spend a half hour going through some dull "romantic" (as in not romantic whatsoever) shenanigans. Things finally pick up when they go to an island that has an abandoned castle on it - a vicious serial killer lives there who feeds body parts to his killer mermaid. Pretty gory in parts, it managed to create a bit of suspense and the characters were okay. One of the girls was pretty darned hot 3.5/5

She Creature (2001) - back in the 1800's or thereabouts, some carnival operators in Ireland chance across a mermaid and load her (in her huge aquarium) in a ship bound for the New World. Turns out she can control people's minds though...not good for anyone involved. This had a decent plot and good characters. Also created some nice atmosphere, as most of it takes place aboard an old sailing ship. Special effects were good too with the Stan Winston Studio doing them. It did kind of run out of steam towards the end though; got a little slow and the climax lacked any real drama. 3.5/5.