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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #9465 on: February 03, 2016, 03:25:41 PM »

"Ice" (1994)
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Typically cheap looking early 90s direct-to-video action nonsense stars Traci Lords as a cat burglar who steals a stash of diamonds from some very bad people. Naturally, the bad guys want to get them back, by any means necessary. Zach "Gremlins" Galligan picks up a quick paycheck as Traci's ne'er-do-well brother who gets caught in the middle.

Traci looks great as usual and is actually the best actor in the film - which really isn't saying a lot, because she doesn't do much besides pout and shoot at people.
Forgettable (at best).
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« Reply #9466 on: February 03, 2016, 11:55:41 PM »

Carnage (1984)

Newlyweds move into new home that is possessed by the spirit of Newlyweds who committed suicide three years prior.

I must admit I haven't seen many Andy Milligan movies though I'm aware of his reputation as a bad filmmaker. Carnage is a first time viewing and yep, it is pretty bad and dull. Things move around in the house and you can see the wires attached. The actors say smart ass things and tease one another all the time. This felt kind of like a Roberta Findlay movie were you get the impression of watching a cheap porn movie without the porn. Plus, the whole production is so poor it also felt like watching a home made documentary. There is one rather impressive gory Lucio Fulci style  throat slashing scene, and one attempt at creating atmosphere with innovative camera work. The rest can be unintentional funny at times, but not all the time. 2/5
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #9467 on: February 04, 2016, 09:20:04 AM »

"1990: The Bronx Warriors" (1982)
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In the "near future" of 1990 (ha!), New York City's most notorious borough has become a lawless no-man's land, ruled by gangs who regularly battle it out with corporate goons and each other.

This cult classic slab of Italian post-apocalypse schlock steals liberally from "The Warriors" and "Escape From New York," but naturally isn't nearly as good as them. It's a much better looking film than the average Italian B-Movie (mainly due to being shot on location in the actual Bronx) but it's still silly, under-written, poorly acted/dubbed junk.
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« Reply #9468 on: February 04, 2016, 11:29:32 AM »

EUROPA (1991): A German-American man takes a job in 1945 as a railway conductor in Germany under the American occupation, and finds that both the Americans and the German resistance want to use him as a spy. A solid, gloomy drama that turns noirish by the end, but it would have benefited from a straightforward presentation rather than the distracting stylistic touches director Lars von Trier tacks on (a narrator who hypnotizes the protagonist, arbitrary changes from black and white to color). 3/5.
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« Reply #9469 on: February 06, 2016, 12:38:19 AM »

Grim Prairie Tales (1990)

After setting up camp a lonely traveler is joined by a somewhat mysterious bounty hunter type. Soon they start telling each other horror stories at the campfire.

Low budget, with high ambitions intended. Grim Prairie Tales usually get lots of praise when fanboys share "unknown" or forgotten genre gems at message boards. This horror western anthology definitely has its charms - the stories are simple but original and imaginative, but don't end on a higher note or come with a big payoff. The makers did focus more on the psychological side of things, making Grim Prairie Tales a "thinking mans" horror film. However, don't expect art because its not. 3.5/5

« Last Edit: February 06, 2016, 07:29:56 AM by claws » Logged
dean
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« Reply #9470 on: February 06, 2016, 05:44:52 AM »

EUROPA (1991): A German-American man takes a job in 1945 as a railway conductor in Germany under the American occupation, and finds that both the Americans and the German resistance want to use him as a spy. A solid, gloomy drama that turns noirish by the end, but it would have benefited from a straightforward presentation rather than the distracting stylistic touches director Lars von Trier tacks on (a narrator who hypnotizes the protagonist, arbitrary changes from black and white to color). 3/5.

It's kind of ironic that Lars went from this stylistic film into his Dogma series. It's like he burnt himself out on style here. [For the record I really enjoyed Europa, really disliked the Dogma films]
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #9471 on: February 06, 2016, 09:01:31 AM »

Over the past two days I've watched a couple of cheesy-but-fun 1960's Italian "Euro-Spy" movies (aka: low budget secret agent flicks made to cash in on the James Bond craze) on YouTube.

"008: Operation Exterminate" (1965)


A female American agent (the lovely Ingrid Schoeller) and her British counterpart (Alberto Lupo, trying hard to be as cool as Sean Connery but failing miserably) team up to track down a kidnapped scientist who has invented "anti-radar technology." Like most Italian B-Movies, the dialogue is awkward, the plot was needlessly complicated and the whole movie didn't really make much sense (it didn't help that the English language track on the YouTube copy of this film dropped out several times, leaving only the Italian language track for a minute or so each time!  TeddyR) but there were plenty of pretty girls, fist fights, exotic foreign locations and groovy '60s fashions and decor, so I was entertained.

"Superseven: Calling Cairo" (1965)


"008" may have been a knockoff, but it looks totally original next to this flick, which shamelessly copied the 007 formula (just look at the poster!), right down to the square-jawed Connery lookalike (American actor Roger Browne) in the lead role. "Agent Stevens" travels (with a series of female companions) from Cairo to Switzerland to Rome to retrieve a stolen radioactive element that's been hidden in a camera. Once again, lots of pretty girls, chase scenes, and fist fights move the action along.

Neither flick was particularly good but as a Bond fan they were interesting to watch in a weird, alternate-universe sort of way. Both films were directed by spaghetti-cinema legend Umberto Lenzi, who's best known for his late-career horror/splatter films like "Make Them Die Slowly" and "Nightmare City" (a personal Z-Movie fave).
« Last Edit: February 06, 2016, 09:33:23 AM by FatFreddysCat » Logged

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« Reply #9472 on: February 06, 2016, 05:02:14 PM »

"Black Roses" (1988)
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Demons come to the tiny town of Mill Basin disguised as a hair metal band, and their devil music has unfortunate effects on the local teenage population. Murder, anti social behavior and general hilarity ensues.
In the annals of Heavy Metal Horror flicks, this one makes "Trick or Treat" look like "Masterpiece Theater." The soundtrack to this cheap, poorly acted schlock is better than the movie.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2016, 05:06:05 PM by FatFreddysCat » Logged

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« Reply #9473 on: February 06, 2016, 08:03:10 PM »

LEMONADE JOE (1964): A lemonade-drinking, trick-shooting teetotaler cleans up a Western town from whiskey-swilling villains. This plays much more like an episode of Looney Tunes than you would expect---that is, if you had any expectations about what a Communist-era Czech Western tinted musical spoof might look like in the first place. 3.5/5.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #9474 on: February 06, 2016, 11:35:33 PM »

Last night I watched ALL HALLOWS EVE 2.
In case you never saw it, the first ALL HALLOWS EVE was a montage of horror vignettes tied together by a VCR tape left on a babysitter's door and a creepy clown that kept reappearing throughout the story, and then attacked the babysitter at the end.
This one followed a similar format, with the VHS tape full of horror shorts, but the connecting villain this time was a guy in a pumpkin mask.  Some of the vignettes were truly disturbing, especially the one with the Jack-O-Lantern.  None of them really fell flat. Overall, quite well done!  4/5
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #9475 on: February 07, 2016, 12:13:02 AM »

"The Spy Who Loved Flowers" (1966)


More derivative Euro-spy fun from Umberto "Cannibal Ferox" Lenzi!

This sequel to 1965's "SuperSeven: Calling Cairo" brings back Roger Browne as crack M.I.6 agent James Bo --- errr, I mean "Martin Stevens" -- and sends him on a mission to assassinate three enemy spies in various locations across Europe. Along the way he encounters a ditzy female photographer who fills the damsel-in-distress/love interest role. I liked this better than the first "SuperSeven" film, though Agent "Stevens" still isn't worthy to carry 007's shoulder holster.
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« Reply #9476 on: February 07, 2016, 09:47:46 AM »

I remember that first all hallows eve it was pretty good
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« Reply #9477 on: February 07, 2016, 10:06:37 AM »

HOW I WON THE WAR (1967): Surreal satire in which an incompetent rookie British Lieutenant leads a reluctant squad on a mission to set up a cricket pitch behind German lines. A few funny/clever bits, but mostly misfire gags that are often more incoherent than absurd. A nice try, but bit of a dud from Richard Lester, who would bounce back soon with THE BED SITTING ROOM, a more effective comedy in the same style. The movie was marketed around John Lennon's small role as a squad member. 2.5/5
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #9478 on: February 07, 2016, 06:00:53 PM »

With my sons this afternoon:

"Goosebumps" (2015)
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All the ghouls, monsters, and nasties from an author's scary stories come to life and cause havoc in a small town.  This funny, kid friendly creature feature is based on R.L. Stine's long running series of pre-teen horror novels. Jack Black is a hoot as the movie version of Stine, as well as the voice of the evil ventriloquist dummy "Slappy."
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akiratubo
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« Reply #9479 on: February 07, 2016, 11:07:21 PM »

The Wicker Tree (2011)

This may or may not be a kind-of-sequel to The Wicker Man.  Christopher Lee is in this but the movie's awfully coy about whether his character is an aged Lord Summerisle.  Anyway, Beth, a born-again Christian singer from Texas, goes to Scotland to preach gospel.  The people in the village where she's staying are actually a bunch of radioactive mutants (or something) who can't have normal babies.  The men of the village seek to use her as a breeder and acquire her uncontaminated genes.

The movie isn't near as interesting as I probably just made it sound.  There are some "funny" bits here and there that I think the filmmakers hastily tossed in so they could claim this was intended as a black comedy.  It doesn't work.  The movie is just bad.  The only remotely funny thing is listening to the actress playing Beth try desperately to maintain her, uh, "American" accent.
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