Recent viewings

[indianasmith]

Last night the wife and I went to see FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM.
It was a very fun ride, a neat view of Rowling's wizarding world some 70 years before Harry Potter went to Hogwartz. Great story, beautifully rendered CGI effects, good casting, and a bonus cameo by Johnny Depp.  Worth the ticket price!

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: PUMAMAN: In this week's experiment, Pearl throws herself a welcome-to-the-neighborhood party at Castle Forester but everyone would rather hang out in Brain Guy's bedroom, while Mike and the bots watch a movie about a wimpy-yet-arrogant paleontologist who finds out he's actually the ancient Aztec superhero Puma Man. The movie is terrifically bad---it thinks it's Superman, but the effects aren't up to Saturday morning TV shows. Lots of fans love the riffing but I don't think they ever get the right handle on the mockery, and the host segments are not amusing in the least, leaving it an average episode. 3/5.

[Newt]

"The Keep" (1983)
During WWII, a troop of Nazis arrives in a rural Romanian village and sets up HQ inside a huge stone citadel in the center of town. They soon learn that the locals avoid the place for a reason, as they accidentally unleash an ancient evil from within the walls which claims them one by one.
This strange, artsy horror flick has a way-cool concept but unfortunately it totally drops the ball. Supposedly "The Keep" had a troubled production history and was eventually disowned by director Michael Mann, and I can see why. The movie's only 96 minutes long but feels like at least twice that, the special FX are laughable, and it wastes a great cast (incl. Sir Ian McKellen, Gabriel Byrne and Scott Glenn). AVOID.

The book was quite good.  Too bad they messed up the film.   

[JaseSF]

Just Visiting (2001): A 12th Century knight named Thibault (Jean Reno) and his servant Andre (Christian Clavier) find themselves via magic from a wizard (Malcolm McDowell) transported from the past into the city of Chicago in the year 2000! There they meet Thibault's ancestor Julia (Christina Applegate) and hope to find the wizard and gets themselves returned to the past to right a great wrong.

This remake of a French film (which also stars Reno and Clavier) which is said to be superior is still pretty damn funny. I almost hacked up a lung laughing at this one at times. I thought it was hilarious. And the story is actually surprisingly entertaining too. Sure there are some minor flaws here and there yet I liked this a lot more than I didn't. Highly enjoyable. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

I'm With Lucy (2002): After recently being dumped, Lucy (Monica Potter) reluctantly gets back into the dating scene having five blind dates, one of whom it seems has proven to be the right catch for her.

This was harmless enough and had some pretty cool, sweet moments and some that are kind of moving, some kind of sad, some that felt rather real. There are some flaws here though as most of the blind date characters do not feel fully fleshed out, some seem like phony ideals, and it's a little too obvious which character Lucy relates to the best. I did like Potter's performance and this was decent enough for what it was. ***1/4 out of ***** stars.

The Ketchup Vampires (1992): A new breed for vegetable loving vampires find their peace threatened when more old-fashioned want-to-be bloodsucking Transylvanian vampires come to town hoping to find a book that will return all vampires to the old bloodsucking ways.

Narrated by Elvira, this kids movie which seems to be kind of hard to find has some fun moments. The best thing about this honestly was Elvira's narration with her style of jokes, etc. Too bad she never actually appears not even in animated form. The animation itself was kind of nice for the time especially the design of the Transylvanian vampires. Still this is still a pretty cutesy kids film, a bit too cutesy for my liking. *** out of ***** stars

Monster Mash (2000): Three classic horror monsters Drac, Frank, and Wolf (it's pretty easy to guess who each represents) finds their status as scary monsters in the Ghoul Guild threatened as over the years they've become more associated with fun and and even comedy than terror. Now a new breed of monsters have arrived and seriously threaten their status. Drac, Frank, and Wolf are given one last chance - to scare a (not quite) typical family - the Tinklemeisters. The parents prove surprisingly easy prey but their kids Spike and Stella not so much. Can our monster heroes regain their edge or will they be condemned to host children's parties forever?

This was a fun little animated musical obviously aimed at kids but its message kind of appealed on a lot of levels to this old Horror film fan. The modern era monsters are Freddy DiSpaghetti (a cross of Jason Vorhees with Freddy Kruger with a pasta theme thrown in as well), Chickie the Doll of Destruction (a kind of take on Chucky) and the Alieneater (obviously inspired by Alien) and it was fun to see them in a way kind of clash with the classic Universal style monsters. Fun stuff with some catchy songs. A little more for kids than adults though but most adult can probably get some enjoyment out of this one. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

It's been a cold, wet, crappy "stay inside and watch movies" kind of day...

"Would You Rather" (2012)
A woman who's desperate to fund her dying brother's cancer treatment finds herself invited to a "dinner party" hosted by a mysterious philanthropist (Jeffrey "Re-Animator" Combs), whose idea of an after dinner "party game" is to pit his guests against one another in a big-money, winner take all contest of wills, morals and endurance. A tight, twisty little psycho-thriller that doesn't skimp on the nasty stuff, a pleasant surprise.

"TC 2000" (1993)
In the post-apocalypse future, everyone dresses like they're in an '80s metal video, and the fortunate people live in vast underground cities while the rest battle to survive in the wasteland "surface world" above. Martial artist Billy Blanks (of "Tae-Bo" workout video fame) plays a cop who teams up with a resistance fighter (Bolo "Bloodsport" Yeung) to stop a conspiracy that will ignite war between the two sides. Oh, and a hot chick gets turned into some kind of cyborg robo-kung-fu-mega-ass-kicking machine for some reason.
...so basically it's cheap, chop-socky nonsense where people beat the sh*t out of each other for 90 minutes straight.

[Rev. Powell]

TICKLED (2016): When a journalist's innocent inquiries about an odd "Competitive Endurance Tickling" website are met with threats and homophobic slurs, his curiosity is piqued, and he untangles threads of blackmail, false identities and constant legal threats to uncover the truth about an underground tickling fetish empire. It's best not to go in knowing too much more than the premise, but I can confirm that this extended piece of investigative journalism is at the same time light and frightening, infuriating and entertaining. 4/5.

[lester1/2jr]

"this always happens, someone always calls me Puma Man and throws me out the window"

The Company You Keep - Robert Redford directs and stars in this rather geriatric tale of ex Weathermen and women on the run from the fuzz and an intrepid/ a***ole young upstart reporter who wants to break a big story. It's exactly what you'd expect meaning it's thoughtful, well written and perfect for a screening at a Unitarian Church or Bernie Sanders commiseration rally or something. At least there's no Pearl Jam on the soundtrack.

4/5


The Shallows - I recently saw some movie about a blonde women who got stuck in a flipped car while a killer tormented her. Is this a new genre? This is the same thing but with a shark. It's pretty good though. The actress Blake Lively has a very lively body and as she's a surfer (in the movie) theres lots of cool surfing shots and underwater weird angles. it's like when you walk by a tv at best Buy and it's like awesome. While it's substantial, it does tend toward the quickly written, action packed, suspension of disbelief side of things. She never seems to get cold or hungry even though she's on a rock for like a day and a half. The sun beats down so she takes a broken hunk of surfboard and covers herself a bit with it problem solved!

I watched it all in one sitting though. The seagull with a broken wing she sits with on the rock was a nice touch. not amazing but very entertaining and well done for what it is

5/5

[JaseSF]

Experiment (2005): A young woman, dumped into the streets of Prague, wakes up and wanders around in confusion all the while being disturbed by strange visions and impulses. Eventually we learn her name is Anna (Georgina French) and she is destined to meet a fellow amnesic wanderer named Morgan (John Hopkins) to whom she seems to have some unseen connection. Eventually we learn that they are part of an underground mind-control experiment and are to be used as weapons of assassination.

While to some this sci-fi thriller may seem to be sporting a new idea, in actuality, this type of idea has been done quite a bit before (sleeper killers). Honestly this thing proved a little too predictable, its leads not quite sympathetic enough (French's attempts at serious acting sometimes comes across as more unintentionally comedic) and its villains prove cold but not particularly memorable. Best thing about this perhaps was French's short topless scene and the Prague scenery. Other than that, I'd say skip this one. ** out of ***** stars.

[indianasmith]

This weekend I watched a movie called BLOODY MARY (2006).
A group of nurses from a mental hospital are in thrall to the ghost of a murderer dubbed Bloody Mary, and they sacrifice victims to her in order to win power and favor in her sight.  I think.  Frankly, their motivations are murky, but most of the victims are female and are stripped naked before being forced to chant "I believe in Bloody Mary" before a cracked mirror in the hospital's sub basement, so I guess - wait?  Where was I?  Oh, yeah, the sister of a missing nurse comes looking for her and the conspirators are trying to cover their tracks - by getting rid of more witnesses, which means more nudity and - well, the whole thing was a bit confusing.
3/5

[Rev. Powell]

HIGH-RISE (2015): Residents of a self-sufficient high-rise tower descend into anarchy when power outages and food shortages spark class warfare between the ground floor proles and the penthouse dwellers. If you can buy in to adapter Amy Jump and director Ben Wheatley's bold choices---setting the movie in the swinging 1970s, stylized montages, deliberately disorienting editing, surreal excessive bacchanalias---it pays off big. 4/5.

[dean]

HIGH-RISE (2015): Residents of a self-sufficient high-rise tower descend into anarchy when power outages and food shortages spark class warfare between the ground floor proles and the penthouse dwellers. If you can buy in to adapter Amy Jump and director Ben Wheatley's bold choices---setting the movie in the swinging 1970s, stylized montages, deliberately disorienting editing, surreal excessive bacchanalias---it pays off big. 4/5.

Man that's generous. I really wanted to like it but it was very hollow and felt to me like a studio restricting Wheatley's crazier ideas and not letting him do what he wanted or not restricting him enough and just making it into a standard dystopian drama. I'm all for disorienting editing but this wasn't the case, it was just missing moments. If the whole movie leant into the crazy a bit more I'd get behind it

[FatFreddysCat]

"One Down, Two To Go" (1982)
A trio of West Coast bad-asses (Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, "Gentleman" Jim Brown and Richard "Shaft" Roundtree) mix it up with the New York mob after one of their pals (martial arts legend Jim Kelly) gets roughed up at a rigged karate tournament.
A fairly "meh" late-inning entry in the blaxploitation genre, the stars all seem to be having fun but the action is by-the-numbers. Fans of Williamson, Brown and Kelly would be better off re-watching the trio's far superior "Three The Hard Way" (1974) instead.

[Rev. Powell]

GAS-S-S-S (1970): The military-industrial complex accidentally unleashes a gas that kills everyone over twenty-five. Comedy was always an iffy proposition in Roger Corman's hand, and this all-over-the-place post-apocalyptic effort from his brief psychedelic period is no exception; it's sort of like THE BED-SITTING ROOM as done by Mel Brooks. 2/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Exile express - where it has been noted at all, this has gotten pretty bad reviews and is only available on a cruddo alpha dvd or probably on youtube but...I really liked it. the lead actress Anna Sten is sort of a cut rate garbo but she's fairly likeable. She plays a scientist trying to get US citizenship. She's working on some sort of project I can't remember what but spies from I guess germany or russia want to steal the secret so there's all these shenanigans.

The story isn't exactly amazing and the whole thing is pretty disposable but its somehow a lot of fun too. maybe not A LOT a lot but it's entertaining. The lead guy who never stops smiling and looks like he's high is good, theres abundant comic relief, and even some surprises. They should start up poverty row again I'd enjoy working there I don't know what I'd do. play a goon or something

4.5 /5

[FatFreddysCat]

"Star Crystal" (1986)
Survivors of a space station disaster find themselves trapped in their escape shuttle with a homicidal extraterrestrial something-or-other.
In other words, it's yet another cheap sh*t "Alien" wanna-be, but this one's worse than usual due to the snail pace, the cardboard sets, the community-theater level performances, and the absolutely laughable creature FX.
AVOID!