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javakoala
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« Reply #10200 on: January 21, 2017, 08:36:02 PM »

Spookies (1986)

Given all the talk about this movie in the "Movies Too Bad to Survive DVD" thread, I found a copy of it online and watched it. Lordy, what a hot mess of a movie.

You've got awful acting, crappy writing, characters without redeeming qualities, a mish-mashed story cobbled together from two different visions (read more about it here: https://thedissolve.com/features/oral-history/788-the-strange-saga-of-spookies/), a few monsters who all seem to have vaguely vagina-shaped mouths, bad 80's clothing (almost a redundant statement), and a slew of other problems.

All of that having been said, it is pretty fun on the "so bad that it's good" scale. The farting Muckmen scene is utterly out of place but still fairly funny. The special-effects makeup work is pretty impressive given the fairly low budget. Also, the movie does keep pushing itself forward, whether anything makes sense or not.

Since a DVD/BD release is highly unlikely, I don't feel horrible posting a link to the full movie on Youtube for those who want to check it out. And it's a pretty clean copy of the Vipco release from the UK.

2.5/5

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« Reply #10201 on: January 22, 2017, 08:47:53 AM »

"Contraband" (aka "The Smuggler," 1980)

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Italian splatter kingpin Lucio Fulci takes a swing at the "Eurocrime" genre with mixed results. A turf war breaks out in Naples between a crew of cigarette smugglers led by nice-guy hood Fabio Testi and a brutal new gang of drug pushers who want to muscle in on the territory. This flick takes a little while to get going, but the second half is positively packed with Fulci's trademark ultra violence, blood, guts and sleaze, so once the bodies start droppin' it's entertaining in a grimy sort of way.
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« Reply #10202 on: January 22, 2017, 10:51:18 AM »

THE SEARCH FOR WENG WENG (2007): Curious about 2-foot 9-inch Filipino "action star" Weng Weng (FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY), an Australian video store owner travels to the Philipines to interview the people who knew him best (including, surprisingly, Imelda Marcos). This documentary goes beyond the short jokes to humanize its subject, giving you everything you'd ever want to know about the extraordinary but sad life of its subject. 3.5/5.

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« Reply #10203 on: January 22, 2017, 05:44:09 PM »

"Suicide Squad" (2016)
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A top-secret Government project releases some of the DC Universe's worst super villains - including Deadshot, Harley Quinn, and Killer Croc -  from jail and forces them to team up  against a supernatural threat to the entire world. Naturally, lotsa stuff gets shot at, blown up and pulverized along the way, and the movie even makes time for blink-and-you'll-miss'em appearances by Ben Affleck's Batman and the Flash. Harley's boyfriend The Joker also appears and though he may have received most of the hype, his role is also little more than an extended cameo, which is a shame.

A lot of fanboys seemed to hate this flick but I got a kick out of it - it definitely doesn't skimp on action. Legend has it that there was a lot of behind-the-scenes tampering with this movie right up until the release date so even if the result is a bit of a disjointed mess, at least it was an entertaining mess. I liked it much better than the bloated "Batman v. Superman," for whatever that's worth.
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AoTFan
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« Reply #10204 on: January 23, 2017, 02:09:13 AM »

"Suicide Squad" (2016)
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Well, here's a dumb question but, isn't this pretty much a live action version of "Batman: Assault on Arkham Asylum"? 
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #10205 on: January 23, 2017, 12:14:06 PM »

MST3k The Corpse Vanishes - mellow early Joel episode. mellow meaning not that funny but also kind of more relaxed vibe when they aren't looking for a joke with every line. Mike Nelson is the king for me but I like these well enough.

Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies (1993) - I've been interested in but also kind of avoiding this for 20 years. it finally snuck down my queue. Only 52 minutes it seems like there would have been enough for a full length feature but the director was probably just happy to get what he could from these maniacs. Allin was an introvert like his father before him and had a rough time growing up in conservative, rural New Hampshire. When his brother Merle slipped him some LSD one night, that seems to have unleashed what he became infamous for: insane "performance art", sometimes with a competent punk band behind him sometimes not, that's heavy on anger, destruction, and bodily fluids. The closest parallel would maybe be the really disgusting Jackass stunts but less clever and much more belligerent.

The bonus feature is an insane live recording of his final show. after a pretty normal soundcheck the band plays two songs during which GG drags a girl in the audience by the hair (his fans, it should be noted are also pretty insane) starts fights with several others, and is soon covered in blood and who knows what else. The sound system fails and he takes the show into the streets. it ends with him and his very young looking girlfriend walking several blocks then attempting to catch a cab.

5/5 can't wait to return  it though
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 12:20:29 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
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« Reply #10206 on: January 23, 2017, 03:08:34 PM »

Ghostbusters (2016)

Behind all the online controversy and outrage lies a harmless supernatural comedy that is kind of cute. Not laugh out loud funny, not very smart, not sarcastic, not awfully bad either. Fluff entertainment that might cause a giggle or two. That said, continuity felt choppy and Kristen Wiig - who I like as an actress -  gave a somewhat uneven performance. Some of her lines felt forced, like she wasn't really into her character. At least that is the impression I got. Still, I wasn't bored so I'll rate this 3.25/5
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #10207 on: January 23, 2017, 10:07:02 PM »



Heavenly Bodies (1984) - There are people wearing leotards in almost every scene in this movie, so if you're into that ...well if you like girls you are probably somewhat into that and if you're REALLY into that I don't want to hear about it. Anyway, this was on TCM's weirdo underground thing and it was an unexpected choice for sure. It languished in my dvr for a month but I just watched it and might watch it again. The lead actress is hot and it's stupid, colorful, and repetitive in a dumb 80's way.

A brunette secretary ( some girl who was in My Bloody Valentine) gets an idea to start an aerobics studio and she also romances a football player. There's one scene where she challenges the football guys to a workout duel, the exact same one that was in Wildcats starring Goldie Hawn which for some reason I saw twice as a youth. Anyway, everything is going good till she butts heads with some other rival dance aerobics studio and they have to have an aerobics battle!

More to the point, there are workout girls in every scene and the lead is charismatic and in phenomenal shape. Some may say there is WAY too much working out in this but I say there's just enough. It's a dumb movie and some of the girls aren't even that hot but some of them are and the guys don't get in the way too much. If there's an unrated version of this I'd be very into that.

5/5

« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 10:15:51 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
javakoala
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« Reply #10208 on: January 25, 2017, 09:10:33 PM »

The Final Programme (1973)

This one is a bit of a head-scratcher. It kept my attention through the whole thing. But the somewhat over-blown trippy nature left me slightly cold. Yes, I know it is based on the trans-dimensional anti-hero Jerry Cornelius, created by Michael Moorcock in the wild and trippy 60s. It just seemed more like "The Avengers" TV series on acid.

Still, I think they nailed Jerry's character pretty well with Jon Finch in the title role. I especially like the bit about wanting to blown up the family home with napalm after his father passed away. It seemed like a throwaway line, but he was quite serious, which just made it funnier.

Basic story: After the death of his scientist father, Nobel Prize-winner Jerry Cornelius decides to recuse his sister, for whom he has an almost incestuous love, from the clutches of his demented, drug-addicted brother Frank. An outside party wants Jerry to recover microfilm of his father's final work before he destroys the house. It seems his father worked out the formula to engineer the perfect, self-replicating immortal messiah, and this group wants to infuse that being with the sum total of all human knowledge before Mankind destroys itself within the next year or two.

Heady stuff. However, Michael Moorcock was not pleased with the outcome. Frankly, I can understand; his Jerry Cornelius tales were so wild that I doubt they could ever be properly brought to the screen. Still, very interesting misfire.

3/5
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« Reply #10209 on: January 26, 2017, 09:43:21 AM »

SCREAMPLAY (1985): A naive aspiring screenwriter goes to L.A., checks into a fleabag hotel, and starts writing his everytday revenge fantasies into his murder mystery script, but finds that the victims he write about really turn up dead. Done in tongue n' cheek black n' white horror homage style that references everything from NOSFERATU to Dwain Esper's MANIAC; classic horror buffs will be entertained picking out the influences. A 3.5/5 if you're in the target audience.
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #10210 on: January 28, 2017, 11:54:51 AM »

Side Effects (2013) - best movie I've seen in a while. One of those hard to talk about without ruining it type deals but I can definitely see why Catherine Zeta Jones, Jude Law and director Steven Soderburgh wanted to be involved.

A woman has terrible depression and tries to kill herself by driving her car into a wall at full speed. a psychiatrist played by Jude Law begins treating her and prescribes her a new medication called Ablixa: a zoloft type antidepressant. Soon she starts feeling much better but also doing very strange stuff.

The same writer/ director combo did Contagion which I now want to see. I guess you cold nitpick about various aspects like...maybe you saw this or that coming or how would she have known this or that quasi plot hole. It isn't as splashy and colorful (that is: it has a much smaller budget) and wasn't as big a hit as Gone Girl but it is of similar quality.

5/5
« Last Edit: January 28, 2017, 12:11:05 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10211 on: January 28, 2017, 03:36:54 PM »

"Justice League vs. Teen Titans" (2016)

Batman sends surly young Damien Wayne (aka the new Robin) to Teen Titans HQ for some lessons in teamwork and playing well with others. While he struggles to fit in, the world-destroying demon Trigon possesses the most powerful members of the Justice League, so the young Titans team suddenly find themselves playing in the big leagues. As usual, lots of blasting, zapping and destruction ensues.
"JL vs TT" wasn't a top drawer DC Animated Universe flick but it was entertaining fanboy viewing.
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javakoala
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« Reply #10212 on: January 28, 2017, 03:56:29 PM »

Supervan (1977)

This movie is a loving tribute to 6-foot whip antennae, CB radios, Ford Econoline vans, aerodynamic hairstyles, and 70's bad clothing. It's a crying shame that the whole damn thing is so lame and lazily paced.

Clint decides, apparently at the last minute, to run off to the 1976 Freakout van competition nearly St. Joseph, MO, where he expects to win the top prize of $5,000. While on his way there, he stumbles upon a girl being assaulted by three bikers. He recuses her, but manages to get his van destroyed in a car crusher. He makes his way to a friend who happens to be a scientific and automotive genius who is building a prototype van for Mr. Trenton, the owner of a major van manufacturer (as well as oil and other goodies). He lets Clint take the prototype, Vandora, to the van gathering.

The story is cliche and ignores reality on almost every level. The acting is ho-hum. Endless shots of the activities going on at the real Freakout gathering pad the running time. Charles Bukowski has a cameo as a beer-drinking old guy at the wet T-shirt contest. Love interest Katie Saylor is cute and has an interesting chest. The humor is dull.

Basically, it was the perfect drive-in movie for teenagers more interested in banging their dates or getting drunk with their friends. These days, it is a vaguely interesting time capsule of one of America's fads.

1.5/5
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indianasmith
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« Reply #10213 on: January 29, 2017, 07:25:54 AM »

Friday is "my night" to stay downstairs and get up with my wife's mom, who can no longer get out of bed unassisted.  Recently, instead of trying to sleep on our very lumpy futon bed, I made the executive decision to go to bed around 9 on Friday nights, and then have the last person to crash wake me, and then stay up all night.  This gives me extra time to do laundry and dishes, play video games, watch movies, or write, whatever mood strikes me.  This weekend it was movies. I watched two different movies between midnight and five in the morning, and then watched another one before going to bed last night.

Here's the reviews

THE MONSTER (2016) - There is nothing better than a good, old-fashioned, well-executed creature feature.  In this one, a precocious ten year old named Lizzie is being driven to her dad's by her mom Kathy - a good looking but hopelessly addicted woman in her 20's whose life is pretty much a train wreck.  The completely dysfunctional mother/daughter relationship is very well portrayed and adds some effective depth to the movie.  Driving through a densely wooded region in a rainstorm, they hit a wounded wolf and blow out a tire.  As they wait for a tow truck and  ambulance to arrive, they notice that something has dragged the wolf's body off of the road.  Then, when the wrecker arrives, the driver - a good ole boy named Roy - is attacked and dragged off the road also.  There is a monster in the woods, and it has a taste for human flesh!  Absolutely no CGI, creepy setting, relatable characters, and a satisfying denouement - this movie worked for me on every level.  5/5

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S BARELY LEGAL (2003) - Three HS kids, all best friends, decide to get rich and score chicks all at the same time by making a porno film in their parents' basement.  This was a pretty lame and predictable comedy that had some surprisingly sweet moments as well as some doggone funny ones.  Honestly, not as raunchy as the premise would make you think. 3/5

THE NICE GUYS (2016)  Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling star in this dark comedy, set in the late seventies.  A private detective and a jaded goon for hire team up to hunt for the missing daughter of the Attorney General (Kim Basinger, still looking pretty good after all these years). This gets them tangled in a conspiracy involving leftist protestors, a missing porn film, Detroit auto makers, and hired assassins.  While it did have some very funny moments, this was a surprisingly dark movie with a rather unsatisfying ending despite the brilliant performances.  Angourie Rice did a particularly nice turn as Gosling's daughter Holly, a precocious 13 year old with a knack for getting into trouble - and helping her dad solve his cases.  3.5/5
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« Reply #10214 on: January 29, 2017, 09:05:56 AM »

"Weiner" (2016)

This documentary follows disgraced former NY congressman Anthony Weiner's attempt at a comeback by running for Mayor of New York City. His campaign actually seems to be getting off to a pretty good start at first, but it's eventually derailed by yet another "sexting" scandal that turns him into a national punch line and threatens his marriage.
Watching Weiner and his team trying to perform damage control as the campaign inevitably implodes around them (and Weiner's long suffering wife does a permanent slow burn) is bizarrely entertaining, in a Spinal Tap sort of way. Obviously when Weiner signed up for this doc, he expected the film to have a much happier ending.
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