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November 25, 2017, 12:31:30 AM
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10650 on: September 13, 2017, 03:21:49 PM »

"The Saint" (2017)

Adam Rayner is the latest actor to play ultra-suave Simon Templar, a jet setting master thief with a heart of gold, who dates back to the pulp paperbacks of the 1930s. In this 21st century reboot, Templar has to recover several billion dollars in stolen money from an ultra-secure location and rescue a kidnapped girl from some very bad people. Fortunately, his sidekick is a foxy tech expert (Eliza "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Dushku) who helps him get the job done.

Part 007, part Robin Hood, part "Mission Impossible," this "Saint" is entertaining enough but the globe-trotting vibe is hampered by the obvious made-for-TV budget. The cameo by Sir Roger Moore himself, in one of his final film appearances (he played Templar in the early '60s "Saint" TV series) was a nice surprise, though.
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #10651 on: September 13, 2017, 05:24:39 PM »

Where are my CHildren (1916) - pretty much a downer of a movie about birth control. they were still figuring out the like uses for cinema here I think.

2/5
« Last Edit: September 13, 2017, 10:43:19 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged

FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10652 on: September 14, 2017, 03:01:36 PM »

"The Video Dead" (1987)
While moving into a new house, a brother and sister find a beat-up old TV set in the basement. When Bro plugs it in, he finds out it's not just a TV - it's a portal, which allows zombies to crawl out of an old horror movie and into the real world. Yeah, that's not good.
This cheap, one-joke movie has a couple of good gore bits and decent zombie makeup but otherwise "The Video Dead" is dumb as a box of rocks.
AVOID.
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10653 on: September 15, 2017, 01:35:57 PM »

"The Cloth" (2013)

A youthful unbeliever is recruited into a top secret Catholic organization that hunts down demons on Earth. The team then has to stop a particularly nasty underworld something-or-other from bringing about the Apocalypse.

If this plot sounds familiar, it's been done before (way better) in flicks like "Priest," "Legion" and "The Rite," to name just a few. Everything about "The Cloth" screams "cheap," from the D-list casting (when your biggest names are Eric Roberts and Danny Trejo, and yet together they're in the movie for less than five minutes, you're in trouble) to the terrible acting, awkward comic book dialogue and CGI effects which make even the worst of SyFy or The Asylum's output look competent.

The ending of "The Cloth" teases a sequel (of course) but so far, none has materialized, for which we should all be thankful.

In other words...AVOID.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2017, 01:43:33 PM by FatFreddysCat » Logged

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« Reply #10654 on: September 16, 2017, 09:42:08 AM »

RIFFTRAX: ARACHNIA (2003): A pilot and personal assistant save a bunch of dopey collegians (presumably from Castleton) from a bad stop-motion attack of giant spiders. From the fine people who brought you TIME CHASERS. Rifftrax makes it tolerable, but it's no classic on any level. 3/5.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10655 on: September 16, 2017, 04:17:27 PM »

"Ban the Sadist Videos" (2005)
Ahhh, the mid '80s and their moral panics. While American teens were facing down Tipper Gore and the PMRC, who wanted to keep W.A.S.P. and Motley Crue records out of K-Marts, the U.K. was dealing with a censorship battle of its own. A well-meaning but ultimately misguided group of would-be censors sought to protect Britain's children from the potentially mind-damaging effects of ultra-violent, gory horror movies found in local video shops and their campaign made it all the way to the highest levels of British government. This intriguing 2-part doc examines the national hysteria over the so-called "Video Nasty" phenomenon and its lasting effects on the U.K. movie/video industry.
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claws
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« Reply #10656 on: September 17, 2017, 01:02:32 AM »

Get Out (2017)

A young couple are spending the weekend to 'meet her parents.' Things go from awkward to creepy and then violent when events spin out of control.

Prejudice blended into a smart thriller taking "darker" turns as the plot unfolds. Based on the subject matter, I can see why this was such a huge success in America. Rating: 4/5 (great)

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« Reply #10657 on: September 17, 2017, 09:09:56 AM »

WATERSHIP DOWN: A nervous young rabbit has visions that his warren will be destroyed, and a group of exiles ventures out into a hostile world of predators, men and fascist rabbit enclaves searching for a new home on a hill. The Old Testament of bunny rabbit religion. 4.5/5.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10658 on: September 17, 2017, 10:38:35 AM »

A double shot of Italian horror weirdness:

"Suspiria" (1977)
Dario Argento's candy-colored nightmare about an American girl caught up in witchcraft at a fancy schmanzy German ballet school doesn't make a hella lot of sense, but it's got tons of style. 

"Inferno" (1980)
Follow up to "Suspiria" moves the witchy action to New York City, where a guy comes all the way from Rome to find his missing sister and learns that her apartment building is Evil Headquarters. Just as trippy and weird as its predecessor, but I think I may like this one better.
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SynapticBoomstick
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« Reply #10659 on: September 17, 2017, 05:23:53 PM »

It [2017]

It. was. AWESOME.
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« Reply #10660 on: September 17, 2017, 10:14:28 PM »


Alien: Covenant.

Weeell... I've seen the movie, and it had some good bits to it.  Overall though, I gotta agree with the critics... a lot of the plot only happens because the characters act like complete morons.  Yes, I know, there are lot of people who'll put for a lot of arguments as to why the character weren't acting stupid, and how unsophisticated people only thing so because they know it's a horror/sci-fi movie and blah, blah, blah, but I don't buy it!  Checking out a planet that seems to be perfect?  Fine, totally on board.  Going to said planet and splitting up?  Uh... okay.. not the brightest, but still... everything still seemed okay.  See a strange-ass looking plant and thinking, "Hey, I'm gonna stick my head right INTO it and POKE it!" No, no, no, NO.

Seriously, what the f**k??  And these guys are supposed to be smart astronauts?  And there's other examples I can give, but I don't want to spoil things too much.

But, you know, we get some more info on the weird creatures from Prometheus, so that might interests some people.  (I only caught like, the last half hour or so of that movie, so I can't say much about it.)

Anyway, I give it a six.
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« Reply #10661 on: September 18, 2017, 10:46:02 AM »

Prince of the City (1981) - a later comparison might be Goodfellas: long (4 hours!) story of a corrupt cop in pre Guliani scary NYC trying to "go straight" as they say after a crisis of conscience. The actual reason WHY he started doing this could have been a little clearer they certainly had plenty of time to explain it. Also, the whole thing could have had more NYC flavor.  It's a lot of guys, especially star Treat Williams, going around acting and being dramatic to each other in nondescript coffee shops. You definitely get more than enough of ol Treat.

NYC was insane before the aforementioned mayor cleaned it up and its no surprise the police were in on all sorts of crime and whatnot. It also makes sense they would have problems with this and that the more honest among them would get sick of being essentially a rival mafia.

check it out if you have the time to spare

4/5

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claws
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« Reply #10662 on: September 18, 2017, 02:52:45 PM »

re-watch

Stung (2015)

Even with low expectations Stung never really stings. A very bland main actor trying hard to be cool/silly and likeable, fighting off mutated wasps at a posh dinner party. And whoever wrote the script obviously failed to polish a turd. For some reason Lance Henriksen is in this German production, which would explain the pointless Aliens references. Better than average f/x, if anything. 2/5 (disappointing)

Howl (2015)

Cool premise, so-so execution: a night train breaks down in the sticks, and werewolves attack. Certainly had its moments but overall not very engaging. 2/5 (disappointing)
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10663 on: September 18, 2017, 04:02:35 PM »

"One Dark Night" (1983)

To gain entry to the "cool" high-school clique, a mousy teen girl is ordered to spend the night in the local mausoleum. Unfortunately for her (and everybody else), the body of a recently-deceased, powerful psychic doesn't take kindly to having his rest disturbed....

A cheesy but fun early '80s horror flick that's surprisingly light on the gore & boobs, considering the time period in which it was made.

Directed by Tom McLaughlin, who would go on to do my favorite "Friday the 13th" movie ("Part VI: Jason Lives").
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« Reply #10664 on: September 20, 2017, 11:57:47 AM »

TRUE STORIES (1986): David Byrne's musical mockumentary about fictional Virgil, TX, focuses mainly on bachelor Lewis (John Goodman) and his search for a bride, celebrating the eccentricities of "ordinary" small town residents along the way. Pretty much what you might imagine a filmed Talking Heads album would be; sweetly strange, with the satire of simple Americans so gentle that it's almost complimentary. 3.5/5.
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"Clive [Barker]'s idea of a great time is to have a nightmare about a woman with three heads and no skin who flays your body with a pitchfork. To give you some idea, NIGHTBREED has over 200 pus monsters, including one guy with a crescent moonhead like the McDonald's commercial and a fat guy with snakes that pop out of his stomach and eat your face off, and these are the GOOD GUYS. These are the people we're supposed to LIKE."-Joe Bob on NIGHTBREED
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