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Author Topic: Friday the 13th part 5: The New Beginning  (Read 4323 times)
clockworkcanary
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« on: August 02, 2007, 02:59:51 PM »

Yes we all know this is the oddball of the series if there ever could be. Most people know that it isn’t really Jason killing in this one, but for all intensive purposes, it might as well be considering the killer has all of Jason’s supernatural abilities and also has his spring-loaded cat-thrower (or assistant, intern, whatever).

I’ll give this episode credit for two things and two things only…well, ok…maybe four things but I can’t mention the last pair. The first thing is that they at least tried to do something different. It wasn’t that successful, but at least they tried to vary the formula to some degree, although cheezing out in practically ever other area of the film. The second credit goes to Tommy – in this episode, he might be a weird bastard but man, he whips some ass in this film…too bad that whole character attribute fizzles by the time the showdown happens at the end but there’s a Friday flick for ya.

Good

Goonie cameo
High body count
High breast count
"It’s showtime!"
Bad

Editing
Logic
Hillbilly neighbors
Ugly

The Robot dance to Pseudo Echo haha
Stereotypes all around
Demon having a nature call
Obviously thrown and by this point, very overused, spring-loaded cat
Jason Improbability Drive
Things I Learned From This Movie:

Chocolate can get you into a lot of trouble.
Mental patients are given axes.
Scarves disappear, reappear, and disappear again all in a single run through a rainy forest.
Don’t f**k with anyone who’s survived an encounter with Jason – you might get tilt-a-whirl-body-slammed through a table.
Film Starts

Someone dressed like Alice, Sweet Alice trekking through the woods with a flashlight. It’s Goonie! He walks to Jason’s 3rd-grade production tombstone but he hears voices. He hides in the bushes just as two fodder guys start digging up Jason’s grave. Of course Jason, buried with mask and machete, awakes and stabs them both. Jason starts walking his way to Goonie! Oh no! They have a five-minute stare down. He’s gonna get him after all!

Ah but it was just a dream. Tommy is older…I’m guessing around 16-17ish. He’s in the patty wagon on his way to the funny farm. He was just having a flashback. He breathes heavy for awhile to sell the idea. Tommy’s a little bit weird in this one. He ignores people a lot and he seems to get provoked into physical assault, which isn’t good for those on the receiving end. Too bad they made Tommy such a puss in part 6 – he really could have been the hero of this movie.

Unger institute of health. Credits roll. Exploding credits! Ahh a new beginning because this hockey mask has blue on it. Basically text follows listing a bunch of people you’ll never hear about again –might as well be listing the names off a random page in the phone book. White out…

Pinehurst instute with a "private" sign …oh boy. Tommy and ride arrive at the funny farm. Crazy muscle-shirt guy rolls up on a loader. The van passes all the fruitloops. Tommy’s fighting a 3o’clock shadow – much older than he’s supposedly portraying.

Tommy ignores the driver. Pam comes out. He ignores her for awhile too. But he follows her in. Driver demonstrates he’s a perv real quick so we know we’ll see him die horribly later. Tommy follows Pam inside for the tour. They meet psuedo Paul, or at least he reminds me of Paul in part 2…but Pam is no Ginny, even though she’ll try some s**t with the chainsaw…oops a run-on sentence with a few spoilers.

The both of them try to talk to Tommy and get him set up. Tommy goes to his room and examines his knife, so I’m sure we’ll see it later. Reggie the Reckless is in his closet with a spider. He startles Tommy so Tommy breaks out his freaky fetish masks and Reggie about s**ts himself. Tommy admits that he made these masks. Oh my goodness – continuity! Reggie’s not a patient there. He mentions he’s the cook’s grandson. Considering it worked so well in part 4, I think we’ve met our Final Kid™.

Cops arrive with our obligatory sex-havin’ couple. Of course they got caught. I feel a definite pattern with elements from part 2…like a poor imitation. We know these two lovers will die in a grisly fashion. Dirtbike noises…Hillbilly mom, Ethyl shows up and white trash talks crazy…wants the place shut down, tired of kids screwin. The son is a retard yes man. Mom browbeats him right there. She threatens to shoot them. Says she has a bomb on her. I know these two will die, and painfully…but not yet. They take off. Cop warns psuedo-Paul. Cop asks about Tommy. Tommy watches from the window.

Axe hits wood…foreshadowing. Overweight tard comes out covered in chocolate. He annoys the girls by smearing chocolate on the laundry. They b***h and he tries to help freakjob with the wood. Violence against a chocolate bar! Who the f**k gave this ass hole an axe? This guy is obviously a crazy-ass – he’s got a spiked bracelet! Joey tries to help out with the wood and takes an axe in the back for it, Lizzy Borden style.

Cops, paramedics, and the cast arrive. Everyone’s freaked. Ambulance driver lifts the cover from the bloody body in front of everyone and makes a s**tty comment like an ass, so we know he’ll die horribly later too, but off screen. The other ambulance driver looks freaked out.

Scene changes to a couple 50s greasers trying to get their car to run. One of them goes to have a nature call, which we know in these kinda movies means death. One gets killed with a flare while the other gets killed from the backseat, ripping off Halloween 1, the greatest slasher of all time.

Tommy sweats…hears voices in his head of his earlier self when he was butchering Jason. He looks as though he’s about to snap.  He takes pills and looks in the mirror ...in his reflection he sees a bloody Jason but turns and he's not there anymore!  Tommy's wiggin' out ...maybe he's the killer! 

Breakfast time.  Reggie asks Gramps if he can visit his brother, Demon, later tonight.  Everyone comes in for breakfast but proto-goth girl set two too many places.  Violet...that's her name...always listening to the Sisters of Mercy with her cassette tape and earphones. 

Pseudo Paul comes in, gives speech, and sounds lame.  Tommy comes in and lurks.  Tommy ignores for awhile.  Agrees to go get Eddie.  Eddie jumps in and startles Tommy.  He starts poking Tommy until he spends a couple rage points, grabs Eddie, gives him a tilt-a-whirl body slam into a table and starts punching his lights out.  Pseudo Paul breaks it up.

Flash to hillbillies and white trash lady is talking to the chicken as she butchers him.  Her hillbilly son mimics her and it hurts the audience real bad.  Some white trash guy is at the door wanting to work for food.  She instructs him to clean chicken s**t.  There are too many references to "s**t" in this movie.

Sheriff conducts search of murder scene.  Roy answers the Sheriff's rhetorical question.  Hmmm maybe he's Jason?  Deputy Dimwit approaches, "maybe we gotsa maniac on the loose"  - maybe he's Jason.

Switch to a muscle car outside a diner doing donuts.  It's the driver from earlier.  Lana is the waitress.  Billy wants to party but she wants to go in and get ready.  She flashes her boobs, "it's showtime" and giggles in a very unrealistic fashion.  She spends a Manos amount of time applying lipstick.  Billy's out in the car talking to himself and doing some lines, so he's a goner.  Lana's inside dodging an overly obvious spring-loaded cat.

Billy's outside listening to some s**tty music, impatient as hell, beating on his horn and yelling.  Suddenly a pair of hands holding an axe handle slam an axe into the back of a headmold of Billy and we see a super fast hand slap the coke n paraphernalia off the car seat(?!).

Lana comes out, gets in the car, yells for Billy about 80 times, sees the coke on the floor, tries to get it, notices two scary feet and a bloody axe outside the door.  Naturally, she freaks and tries to get out the other side only to be greeted in the stomach by said axe.

Flash to Tommy peeking out his window -the couple who got busted earlier run by and suddenly Tommy sees Jason lurking outside, Michael Myers-style.  Flash to the cops and the mayor.  Mayor feigns concern about the violent deaths while the sheriff smokes.  Sheriff knows it's Jason.  How this cop can know it's Jason is beyond me.  Is this even near Crystal Lake?!  Where the hell is this place anyway?  I need a map of this Crystal Lake town.

Back to the sneaky couple.  Boy sneaks up behind her while she's folding up clothes.  He convinces her to go off into the woods to get it on.  Dude is wearing one fruity shirt.  He's doing weird s**t while they run into the woods, throwing dirt at her, etc.,  They get it on while white trash hired worker watches from a far, kinda like Crazy Ralph from 2.   Unfortunately for him, someone else, JASON, notices him, and just like Ralph in part 2, he pays the price for it.  And of course the couple doesn't hear a thing when he gets stabbed.  Dude lasted a whole 20 seconds.

He takes off to get cleaned up and she lays there naked looking up at the treetops.  Suddenly she oppens her eyes to see hedge clippers come down into her eyes as she screams.  Dude doesn't hear the scream of course.  He heads back after skipping a rock and rolls her over to discover the horror.  He backs into a tree that "Jason" just happened to be hiding behind and he gets the old tightening of the leather strap around the eyes.  You know, the first part of this scene could have been effective if they didn't show her getting killed, as if we discover the horror when he does.  There's nothing that can be done about the second death in that scene - that was terrible.

Back to the halfway house.  It's dark and Reggie wants to see his brother.  They encourage Tommy to go along for some reason and he ignores them at first but the complies.  They drive about 20 feet on what looks to be a straight road and turn into a trailer park.  Demon must be living in a camper.  Nope I was wrong, it's a van.

Demon is a soul bro apparently - gotta love the stereotypes.  He's got the Michael Jackson look of the early 80s mixed with some old era Prince with the geri-curls.  Reggie  likes Anita, Demon's girlfriend.  Tommy lurks around outside.  Demon gives one of his rings to Reggie the reckless.

Tommy walks over, amazed at the "trailer park" light display as a dirt bike heads right at him.  Because the script says so, here comes hillbilly junior.  He approaches Tommy and taunts and taunts him until, for some reason, he decides to attack Tommy, which we all know is a big mistake.  Tommy proceeds to beat the living s**t out of this fukstick.  Tommy stops only when Pam comes out yelling.  He wigs out again, growls, and runs off into the night.

Reggie decides it's time to go.  They get in the truck and head out to find Tommy.  Now we focus on Demon and Anita.  He starts getting cramps from the enchiladas so of course we get this uncalled for scene of a guy in an outhouse.  We didn't need that.  Well, as you know, anyone that does this in these movies dies pretty soon.  Someone shakes the outhouse.  Haha it's just Anita.  He says he's gonna "get you b***h" ...then they start singing to each other.  Suddenly she stops singing along.

Someone starts shaking it again.  He opens the door to see her dead body.  He falls back inside and a big blade starts ripping through the walls.  One gets him good in the leg before the fatal blow.  Early 80s music is dead.

Pam shows back up at the house.  Matt, the paul imitator went off to look for the missing couple.  Studderer, proto-goth, and scrawny b***h don't know where Gramps is either.  Pam takes off. 

Flash to hillbilly Jr., who's all p**sed, ripping around the yard with his dirt bike while his white trash mom yells she's making his dinner.  Suddenly a blade pops out by a treee as he goes by it, decapitating him, and not soon enough.   Old lady yells at Jr until a hand with a cleaver bust through the window in front of her.  We watch her clutch the tomato to death in a similar fashion as the hippy with the banana in part 4.

Pam ran out of gas or something.  She starts walking it.  Back to the  funny farm.  Studderer and scrawny b***h are watching a movie.  He makes a move and she laughs in his face.  He gets p**sed and leaves.  Interestingly enough, we know these two are gonners, but it's interesting how they didn't even do "it" like so many of the others.  Hey...maybe it's not really Jason after all?!  OMG I might be on to something!   I've found my thesis!  J/K. 

He heads upstairs to take a cleaver in the face as he should while she enjoys the rest of her movie. Afterwards, she covers up Reggie, goes upstairs, disrobes, and crawls in bed without realizing the corpse of her dead blue-balled friend is laying right next to her.  Oh, and she didn't notice the masked killer in the bottom bunk when she walked into the room, looked and talked into the mirror for a few moments, looked that direction when lightniing striked, and looked yet again when she climbed into the top bunk.  She takes a machete in the back up through the bunk, similar to the hammock kill in part 3 and the bacon-arrow kill in part 1.

Now we get to see this proto-goth do the robot for a bit in her room while the killer easily sneaks in.  She listens to some Psudo Echo, "there's a man with no life in his eyes"  while doing some more robot hehe while the killer steps up behind her and gives her the one-hand super grab/push up the wall and then gives her a machete in the gut.

Reggie wakes up! Obligatory thunderstorm starts.  He goes up to Tommy's room where sees all the dead bodies.  How "Jason" knew where Tommy's room was located is a mystery to all.  Reggie is naturally horrified.  Pam gives him a false scare.  She takes a look for herself.  Maybe Tommy is Jason?!  This room has it's own lightning queue anytime anyone looks inside. 

They book it down stairs and Reggie falls.  Jason busts through the door in a totally impossible manner and stares at them for a second.  Reggie squints his eyes for a second, apparently focusing on the blue marks on the hockey mask.  They dash across the house and out the door.  Are we to see another sudden loss of operating a door/lock combo again?

They run and run and run.  They run through some trees as it rains.  They make it to an Ambulance but discover a dead driver...and guess what?!  Jason is already there!?  This is the best example of Jason's teleportation powers.  Reggie screams like a girl and they run like hell again.  Why bother guys, he'll just teleport right back.  Reggie looses pam.  Pam looeses her scarf...no she has it...no wait..she doesn't...nope, there it is again, oops it's gone now.  Ok, glad they settled that. 

Reggie falls a few more times and he and Pam yell each others names while running off into the darkness.  Pam finds faux-Paul spiked to a tree.  See how Friday victims are just magically drawn to the corpses.  Pam makes it inside to hide, right by a giant window, which we know must mean...yup that's right.  A body...Gramps...is thrown through the window.  She heads back out...still no scarf.   

Pam runs out into the rain and pulls a Reggie, falls down, and slow-walking Jason manages somehow to catch up.  But hold on, Reggie must have run off into the barn.  Pam wollers in the mud in front of Jason as Reggie busts out of the barn with a loader!  He runs right into Jason and Jason just stands there.  Jason takes a full hit in the schins but that's not going to stop him.   Of course Pam and Reggie think they have him nailed, so they approach him, like idiots.  Of course he grabs Reggie's leg and they play tug-a-war.

They haul ass to the barn.  Jason notices he's bleeding but doesn't give a s**t.  He heads for the barn, machete in hand.  Lighning on queue as he enters the barn doorway.   Pam and Reggie are hiding.  Jason pulls a bit from part 3 and starts searching the barn for them.  Jason opens a door and it's Pam with a chainsaw!!!!!  She's buzzing at him, Ginny part 2 style, she slices him in the shoulder and and and...runs out of gas.  Yup.  So she chucks it at him lol.  I'm surprised that chainsaw started right up the first time.   

Tommy arrives, in the doorway, with the lightning queue.  Jason turns and looks at him.  Tommy looks back.  They have a stare down.  Does Tommy see the faux blue-marked hockey mask.  Tommy starts wigging on flashbakcs as Jason approaches.  Tommy stands there like a dumbass listening to his internal voices as Jason slashes him across the chest.  Tommy pulls out the knife we saw eariler and jabs it into Jason's leg.  Pam yells for him to head upstairs.  Well, I guess Tommy's not Jason afterall.

Tommy has trouble climbing a ladder.  He did just get stabbed I guess.  Jason gets up and follows.  He's moving slower though.  Jason finds Tommy's boyd, rolls it over, and sees that he must be dead.  Good thing Jaosn isn't a medic or anything because he'd be able to tell if someone was feigning death.  Jason scopes the upper deck of the barn and discovers Reggie but Pam hits him with an axe handle before he disarms her.  She's on the edge of the barn door opening and we can see a bed of spikes on the ground below.  Reggie jumps from the top turnbuckle and does a flying leam into Jason sending him over.

Naturally, they approach the edge and naturally Jason's out there hovering or something.  He grabs Reggie's ankle again and they play some tug-a-war.  Tommy wakes up, comes over, and whacks Jason's hand, sending him to the spikes below.  Once he lands, the hockey mask falls off and his fake-bald mask rips open.  It wasn't Jason after all!  OMG! What a twist ending!  This is right up there with endings like The Others, The Sixth Sense, and the Crying Game.   

At the hospital, the sheriff reveals to a non-responsive Pam that it was Roy all along, the ambulance driver.  Apparently, he had studied Jason for some reason and he fathered the dead chocolate-covered kid who got axed in the earlier scene.  When he saw his own son butchered he snapped and took on Jason's role and somehow, Jason's special powers.

Pam goes to tell Tommy the news and naturally he stabs her in the gut and laughs his head off...but oh...it was just a dream.  Queue the thunder and lightning.  He's in his hospital bed again. He looks up to see a bloody Jason hovering in his hospital room.  Is he passing Tommy the torch?  Queue the lightining and thunder.  Tommy removes his IV in a real mean way and goes to the drawer.  In the drawer is the hospital-furnished hockey mask (I've seen them in every hospital room I've ever been in).  Pam comes to Tommy's door.  We hear glass break.  The door shuts and we see Tommy wearing the hockey mask raise his butcher knife.  Was that a dream too?  Who cares.

Credits.  The End
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Torgo
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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2007, 10:30:05 PM »

While this movie is pure rubbish, it is still a hilarious film to get some friends together, drink some brews and then laugh yourself silly at how stupid this whole flick is. 

The part with the dude from ROTLD in the outhouse is priceless in terms of his "acting".
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« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2007, 04:58:20 PM »

This film might be the series' lowest point.  Jason is a fake, and it takes place at a looney farm....yay.

I hate the scene with the guy in the port-a-john singing the song with his girlfriend.  WTF?  Seriously, who came up with that crap? (haha, I made a joke)

Also, I hate the Tommy character in this one.  He's out of his mind, but I couldn't care less what happens to him. 

Also, if I'm not mistaken, this is the film that has a scene with someone reading a newspaper with a picture of Jason on the front.  Who gets close enough to Jason to snap a picture?  Where's WyreWizard when you need him!?
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« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2007, 10:42:03 PM »


Also, if I'm not mistaken, this is the film that has a scene with someone reading a newspaper with a picture of Jason on the front.  Who gets close enough to Jason to snap a picture?  Where's WyreWizard when you need him!?

It's like he was busy killing someone and a guy was just like, "Yeah, hold that pose.  Work the wind baby."  Seriously, who gets to take pictures of Jason?
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« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2007, 08:10:08 AM »

Hahah great points about the picture taking.

A Friday fan friend of mine and myself were discussing this exact topic: who got close enough to Jason to take his picture.  Said friend also noted that Bear Hunter in part 4 had newspaper clippings, pictures, and legend notes about Jason ...and he'd been hunting Jason for like, four days (since Part 2 where his sister died only happened a few days ago in the Friday timeline) - damn some news travels fast over the newspaper!
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Friday the 13th part 5: The New Beginning « previous next »
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