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Latest Member: eenkleemil Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  You Know You're a Star Wars Geek When.............. « previous next »
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Author Topic: You Know You're a Star Wars Geek When..............  (Read 1914 times)
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 535
Posts: 5275

« on: November 26, 2007, 09:10:40 PM »

1)When you get jealous of Luke because his light saber is double the size of yours

2) When you pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.

3) You found this page with intentions of locating the Star Wars "greek" club.

4) You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand up your @ss so you can be as wise as Yoda

5) When you get into a fight, you automaticly find yourself reaching for a lightsaber...

6) If you get your head stuck in a bucket pretending your Darth Vader.

7) When you spend so much time watching the Star Wars trilogy because you think there will be a test on it later.

8) You punch out trekkies who say "Death star my @ss, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9".

9) With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"

10) Your room is filthy except for your "Star Wars Area."

11) You put on a luminous coloured condom and walk around humming, pretending you're a light-saber

12) You name your right hand 'Leia'

13) You waste three hours and 8,000 brain cells a day coming up with jokes for this page.

14) You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda's voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn't say.

15) Whenever you get in trouble, you mutter "I have a bad feeling about this."

16) When you listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parralell park.

17) When your father asks you how fast your car is, you reply,"Fast enough for you, old man."

18) When you need to go to the toilet, you say "Intensify Foward firepower, I don't want anything to get through"

19) You ram a model X-Wing up someone else's @sshole and congratulate yourself for finding the only weak spot.

20) Your girlfriend is called "Jabba the Slut."

21) You don't have any money to buy food or clothes but you have a kick-@ss STAR WARS collection.

22) You swear you saw Obi-Wan in your Cheerios.

23) You get caught doing your Darth Vader impression in the bathroom. (what are you doing in there son? *heavy breathing*YOUR POWERS ARE WEAK OLD MAN!!!!)

24) When you wake up screaming, "Luke it's a trap!"

25)You know you're a Star Wars geek when you unsuccessfully get the last cheerio in the bowl and instinctively mutter, "The Force is strong in this one."

26) You start to see visions of Ben Kenobi telling you to go to bed.

27) When you spend eight hours at the library printing this crap out over and over...

28) When your girlfriend says you have a small d*ck and you say "You underestimate the power of the force."

29) You Find yourself Getting Beaten up for saying everyone's lines 2 seconds before they do in the theatre.

30) When... Your first sentence was "I have a bad feeling about this."

31) When you find yourself quoting the opening lines of "A New Hope".....and don't stop until 125 minutes later.

32) You curse out people that go,"Yeah! I know who Obi-Wan Kenobi is! Isn't he that guy with the funky ears that goes,"Live Long and Prosper?"

33) You punch out people that say,"But I thought Han Solo flew the Enterprise?"

34) You can't resist to hum when you turn on a flashlight

35) Before sex, you look at your penis and say "Get in there, you furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"

36) You're a Star Wars geek when your teacher hands you your test back and says "commas are your weakness." You shoot back: "And your faith in your friends is yours!"

37) When someone talks about people getting abducted by little green men you say, "Yoda would never do such a thing!"

38) You actually feel the need to attack Star Wars geeks with a camera to prove that you are not of )their kind.

39) After looking at your tiny d*ck you remember yoda's saying "size matters not."

40) When, you're drunker than you've ever been in your life and still know that the possibilitiy of successfully navigating an asteroid field is 3,720 to one.

41) You buy 2 copies of the trilogy just so you could have the full Darth Vader Helmet.

42) You've wached the trilogy more times than Mark Hammil.

43) When you heard of Titanic getting more money than Star Wars, you immediately reached for your home-made lightsaber and started a hunt for James Cameron.

44) You respond to your friends taunting of "HA! HA! Titanic beat Star Wars!" by clenching your teeth and grunting "We'll get 'em in the prequels"

45) You sabotage the Titanic theatre to play Star Wars: A New Hope when the ship starts to sink.

46) You call in bomb threats every time Titanic starts playing and then start giggling uncontrollably when you watch the people running out.

47) You finnally figure out that ANH rearanged is Han

48) You point out to people that given inflation Star Wars kicked Titanic's @ss by nearly 300 million.

49) When your boss forwards all of your checks to the local Star Wars supplier.

50) The first thing you think of when you hear the words "hot, wet and horny" is a sweating bantha.

51) During sex, you're still rearranging the figures on your shelf.

52) You stand up a date to put jokes on this page.

53) You go to star wars conventions with the sole purpose of getting laid. 

54) You wake up with a hangover blood on your hands and a ripped t-shirt that says trekkies forever

55) You have a tan line from your Darth Vader helment.

56) At the airport, when the clerk asks you if anyone else has handled your bag you say,"No, it's just me, the boy, two droids...and no questions asked.

57) When you're stuck doing f**kin 'yoga' classes because of a misprint on the advertisement

58) Before sex you say, "This may smell bad, kid, but it will keep you warm".

59) You know you're a Star Wars geek spend hours thinking up the new catchphrase "the prequels are gonna sink Titanic!

60) A friend gets a kick @ss home audio/video center and you tell him, "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed."

Thought you all would get a laugh out of these. A friend forwarded them to me today.  Thumbup Wink

"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."
South African Film Activist & Troublemaker at
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1339
Posts: 15096

« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2007, 02:54:27 AM »

Karma, Torgo, thanks for the laugh.  Thumbup

I have a problem: I am both a Trekkie/er and a Star Wars fan. Is there hope for me or is the light at the end of the tunnel just an oncoming train?  Buggedout

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free, you and me
We'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye that we are one
We're all the same and life is just a simple game.
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 535
Posts: 5275

« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2007, 04:05:47 PM »

Karma, Torgo, thanks for the laugh.  Thumbup

I have a problem: I am both a Trekkie/er and a Star Wars fan. Is there hope for me or is the light at the end of the tunnel just an oncoming train?  Buggedout

I thought that being a Trekkie and a Star Wars fan was equivalent to the thing of being both a Beatles and an Elvis fan.  I've heard that you can't like them equally and you have to like one more than the other.

Anyway, here's something else I received today.

Why Star Wars Is Better Than Real Life

In real life, people often stink up the bathroom with their fecal odors, toilet paper runs out, and people get diarrhea; In Star Wars, no one has ever used the bathroom

In real life, tall hairy, humanlike creatures are rarely seen by backwoods alcoholics, and are named ridiculous things like "Bigfoot" and "Sasquatch"; In Star Wars, tall hairy humanlike creatures are called Wookiees, and have their own language, planet, social structure, and carry formidable weaponry.

In real life, it is often difficult to understand the languages of others, such as 7-11 employees, fast food window operators, and college profs.; In Star Wars, everyone understands everybody, regardless of language barriers

In real life, the extremely obese are often sadly shunned by society; In Star Wars, the extremely obese Jabba the Hutt is a pimp daddy, and has his own sail barge, lounge room, and dancers to keep him occupied--he is envied by all.

In real life, people often have problems doing simple mechanical things like operating can openers, programming VCRs, and playing Nintendo; In Star Wars, Droids do all the busy work in half the time.

In real life, some people are complete losers; In Star Wars, everybody has a story to tell that's worth listening to.

In real life, people sometimes smell; In Star Wars, people are never "ripe", and yet they need not shower.

"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."
Ed, Ego and Superego
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 294
Posts: 3012

« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2007, 06:18:18 PM »

I was thinking to add..
61. You actually killed someone for a Boba Fett action figure that really shoots.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 478
Posts: 3801

« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2007, 08:15:35 PM »

Karma for #9.

Kneel before Dr. Hell, the ruler of this world!
B-Movie Site Webmaster
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 84
Posts: 649

« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2007, 11:52:03 PM »

62.  You're writing a Star Wars fanfic where they're on the Jerry Springer Show...


"Wielding useless trivia like a katana."
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1130
Posts: 10304

« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2007, 10:00:21 AM »

53) You go to star wars conventions with the sole purpose of getting laid. 

Hmmm...that sounds like a damned good idea actually.

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho
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